I just look at him. I want to tell him that we’re the opposite of “cool,” because my cheeks feel warm, and my heart is racing, which I can’t understand. But I have the feeling that’s not what he’s asking about.
“Me being forced on you like this . . . ,” he continues, his voice trailing off. He shakes his head. “Well, if I were in your shoes, I’d be kind of upset. But I hope you know there’s nothing I’m trying to do here except protect you.”
“I’m not upset,” I manage. “But I really don’t need protecting.” I glance over at Caleb, and this time, I catch him looking right at me. I shoot him a small, tentative smile, and although he looks guilty to have been caught staring, he gives me a slight smile in return before eyeing Bram and then turning away. Again, I can almost feel the chill in the air between them, and it unsettles me.
“I know you have Caleb to look out for you,” Bram says a moment later. “But I want to help. If I can play even a small role in making sure you’re safe, I’ll be happy. So we’re okay, you and me?”
“You and me?” I say, flustered. “Yeah, of course.”
After class, Caleb hurries out without a glance, so I sigh and begin packing up my bag. When I look up, Bram is standing beside my desk. “What’s your next class?” he asks.
Something flutters in my stomach. “Physics.”
He looks at his schedule. “I’m headed to trig in room 114. Any chance that’s the direction you’re headed?”
“Um, yeah, I’m actually right across the hall.”
“In that case,” he says with a smile, “can I walk you to class?”
Bram falls into step beside me, and I can’t help comparing him to Caleb as we make our way down the hall. He’s about the same height, with the same broad shoulders. But other than that, he’s the physical opposite of Caleb. Caleb’s hair is close-cropped and black, while Bram’s is longer and lighter. Caleb’s eyes are the blue of a sunny sky, while Bram’s are the gray of a stormy one. And Bram’s pale, slightly freckled skin, which looks a lot like mine, is a sharp contrast to the brown smoothness of Caleb’s skin.
“So,” I begin, in an attempt to think about something—anything—other than Caleb, “where were you at lunch, by the way? You can eat with us, you know. If you want.”
“No offense, but those girls you hang out with, well, let’s just say they’re not my cup of tea.”
I smile at his old-fashioned choice of words. “Mine either, I guess. But you’ll get used to them.”
“Maybe. Anyhow, I’ll think about joining you for lunch. Thanks for the invitation.”
“Well,” I say with faux brightness as we arrive outside the classroom, “your trig class is right in there.” I nod toward the door.
“Thanks, Eveny,” Bram says, and the way his voice rumbles does something strange to me. “See you later.”
“Sure.”
“Oh wait!” He pauses at the door, digs in his pocket for a second, and pulls out a folded piece of paper. “I drew this last period. It’s for you.”
I take it from him and he disappears into the classroom without another word. I unfold the piece of paper after he’s gone, and I see that he’s drawn a beautiful sketch of me, my chin propped on my hand as I study my textbook intently.
That evening, Aunt Bea is working late, and my father and Boniface are nowhere to be found, so I grab a Lean Cuisine meal from the freezer, microwave it, and settle in to eat by myself while reviewing for the French test I have on Wednesday. I’ve just taken the first bite when I hear the front door open.
“Eveny?” my father calls from the front hall.
“In the kitchen!”
He rounds the corner a moment later, and I’m about to ask if he wants me to make some spaghetti or something when Caleb appears behind him, looking exhausted and unsettled.
“What are you doing here?” I blurt out, then immediately turn red. I can feel my cheeks flaming.
Caleb opens his mouth to answer, but my father cuts in. “He’ll be staying with us for a while.”
“Staying with us?” I repeat. “Like in our house?”
“That’s right,” my father says. “Oscar and Patrick will be doing the same for Chloe and Peregrine. After the attack on you on Thursday, the mothers and their sosyete have decided it’s best not to put anyone at further risk, which means taking every precaution available. I don’t necessarily agree, but Caleb is one of those precautions.”
Caleb looks up, then clears his throat and glances away again.
“But . . . what about his mom?” I ask. “Won’t she be alone? Is that safe?”
“She’ll be fine,” my dad says. “She’s not a target for Main de Lumière. And the mothers have promised to arrange a protective charm around her house.”
“Well,” Aunt Bea interjects from the doorway. I didn’t hear her come in. “I’m so pleased you’ve worked all of this out without consulting the rest of us, Matthias.” She’s glaring at my dad, and my stomach swims uncomfortably.
“This wasn’t my idea,” my father says, glancing at Caleb, who looks at the ground. “But it’s what we’re going to do.”
“And you’re in a position to be making decisions for Eveny now?” she shoots back.
“I’m just trying to do what’s best for her,” my father says.
“Are you? Are you really?” Aunt Bea says. “Because it seems to me that everything bad that’s happened to this family revolves around you, Matthias.”
“Aunt Bea!” I say sharply. I know she doesn’t like my dad, but she’s been quiet about it up until now. Having her snapping at him in the kitchen like this, especially in front of Caleb, makes me uneasy. “Can we talk about this later?” I add.
“When, Eveny?” she asks, turning toward me, her eyes flashing. “After he’s ruined our lives too? After he’s once again brought the enemy right to us?”
“What are you talking about, Bea?” my father says. I’m surprised to hear sadness in his tone instead of anger. “You’re not being reasonable.”
“Aren’t I? And I suppose it’s just coincidence that mere weeks after you show up, Main de Lumière is sending its henchmen after Eveny again?” she snaps. “Feels an awful lot like déjà vu, if you ask me.”
My father flinches. “I didn’t have anything to do with that.”
“Aunt Bea, I agree with him,” I say, and she gives me a look so mournful that I feel instantly like I’m betraying her. I take a deep breath and add, “I’m sorry, but what you’re saying isn’t fair.”
“Isn’t it?” she says, the venom in her voice growing as she turns back to my dad. “Don’t you see? We were doing just fine in Carrefour before your father came along twenty years ago. Then he broke your mother’s heart and left us defenseless after leading Main de Lumière to our doorsteps.”
“You can’t keep blaming me for that, Bea!” my father protests. I’m surprised to see tears glistening in his eyes. “No one was more devastated by Sandrine’s death than I was.”
“That’s not true,” Aunt Bea says, her voice suddenly dangerously soft. She turns to look at me. “Sandrine’s daughter was. Your daughter, Matthias. Her mother is dead, and all you can think about all these years later is how it impacted you.”
I open my mouth to respond, but Aunt Bea silences me with a look. “Stay out of it, Eveny,” she says. “This is between me and your father.”
Caleb moves over to where I’m standing and surprises me by placing a hand on my shoulder. It’s not until he touches me that I realize my heart is racing a mile a minute.
“I know Eveny was devastated,” my father says. “And I’ll never be able to make that up to her. But what do you expect me to do? I would have given anything to be there to see my daughter grow up, Bea. But Sandrine asked me to leave. She said that Eveny would never have a normal childhood as long as I was around, and I agreed. Main de Lumière would have realized much sooner that Eveny was the child of two magical traditions.”
“But they realized anyhow, didn’t they?” Aunt Be
a says. “And I’m the one who kept her safe. But it wasn’t enough, was it? You had to come back and screw it all up again.”
“I’m the one who screwed it up?” my dad says. “Maybe you could have raised her with some concept about her background, so she wouldn’t be so defenseless now!”
“Well, maybe if you hadn’t been so busy gallivanting around the world, you could have taught her about her heritage yourself.” Aunt Bea crosses her arms.
“Guys—” I say, trying to step between them. But it’s like I haven’t spoken. I’m not even sure they’re aware I’m in the room anymore.
“For God’s sake, Bea, I wasn’t gallivanting!” my father says. “I was trying to find a solution to the Main de Lumière problem. My whole life has been about protecting my daughter.”
“No one asked you to do that,” Aunt Bea snaps.
“Sandrine did! Not that she had to. Eveny’s my child, Bea. There’s nothing in the world more important to me than keeping her safe.”
“If only you’d felt that way about my sister too,” Aunt Bea shoots back. “Maybe she’d still be alive.”
“Stop it, you guys!” I cry. My father and Aunt Bea both turn to look at me in surprise. “Just stop! What’s happened has happened, okay? You can’t keep blaming each other for it. My childhood was fine, but it’s over now. It doesn’t matter who did what.”
“Eveny—” my father begins, but I cut him off. I can’t hear any more of this.
“Enough!” I say. “You’re my father, and I owe you some respect for that.” I turn to Aunt Bea. “And you’re the one who raised me, which I’ll never be able to repay you for. I love you both. But this is my fight. This is my town. And if you want to do what’s right for me, you’ll stop arguing with each other and help me figure out how to save it.”
They both stare at me as I turn and stride out of the room. It’s not until I’ve slammed the door to my bedroom that I realize I can barely breathe.
9
Forty-five minutes later, I head out to the garden to clear my head. I haven’t been out there for long when I hear the back door open and close. A moment later, Aunt Bea joins me on the stone bench by my mom’s roses.
“Your mother always used to come out here when life was getting difficult,” she says. She looks at me, and I can see that she’s been crying.
“You all right?” I ask.
She nods, wiping a tear away.
“Look, if this is about the attack on Thursday, it’s under control, okay? My dad’s right; we’ve been coming up with a plan, and—”
“No.” She puts a hand on my leg to stop me and takes a deep breath. “This is about me and the decisions I need to make for myself now. I’ve spent too long living the life your mom picked out for me.”
“Oh.” Her words and the bitterness in her tone cut into me. “You mean a life raising me.”
“No. I never regretted raising you. When we were in New York and things were normal for a while, being your guardian was the best thing in the world.” She hesitates. “But things are changing. You know that as well as I do. I’ve never liked zandara, and now it’s stealing you away from me just like it stole your mom.”
“I’m not being stolen,” I say, squeezing her hands, “and we’ll get things under control soon. Then we can try to go back to normal.”
She surprises me by pulling away. “Eveny, things are never going to be normal here. You know that.” She pauses and adds, “That’s why I have to leave.”
I blink at her. “Leave?”
“You know how much I love you, Eveny. But it’s time I start looking out for myself. Your father’s here now, and although I feel he’s not being entirely honest, I do believe him when he says he’ll keep you safe.” Her tone is bitter as she adds, “It’s in his best interest, after all, and he’s always done what’s in his best interest. At least we can rely on that.”
“Aunt Bea—” I begin, but she cuts me off.
“Let me finish. Regardless of his motives, his powers will allow him to protect you in ways I never can. I have to trust he’ll look out for you. But I can’t be here with him. And I can’t watch your life be taken over by magic. I don’t have powers to save you, Eveny, and I’m not trained to protect you the way Caleb is. All I have is the power of my heart, and for the last fourteen years, that was enough. But it’s not anymore.”
I can feel tears in my eyes. “You’re really leaving?”
“I have to, Eveny.”
“But you don’t!” I shoot back. “We can figure something out. I can talk to my dad. . . .” My voice trails off, and I look at her sadly, knowing she’s already made up her mind. I realize her feelings about my father have been festering for years, and I understand why she can’t live under the same roof as him. But the fact that she’s so easily abandoning me—after all we’ve been through together—is crushing.
Her face softens. “I’ll stay in Carrefour, but I can’t be around the sosyete anymore. I’ll be at the bakery if you need me, but I think it’s best for now if you and I have some distance.”
“Best for who? You or me?”
She sighs. “Me. It’s what’s best for me. I’m finally doing something for myself. I’ll always love you, just as I have since the day you were born, but it’s time I find my own path and trust you to find yours. It’s clear that you’ve already made your choice.”
I shake my head vehemently. “But this is who I am. I didn’t have a choice. Don’t you see that?”
“But you did have a choice,” she says softly. “You still do. You could walk away. If you don’t, zandara will destroy you, Eveny, the same way it destroyed your mother.”
“But—” I say, but she interrupts.
“You’re making your own decisions now, and decisions always come with consequences. You’ve chosen your mother’s lifestyle over mine, and that’s okay. But I’m under no obligation to stay here and watch you destroy your future. I’m already packed. I just wanted to tell you in person.”
“Please don’t go,” I say, my throat tightening. “Please. Aunt Bea?”
She stands up and puts a hand on my shoulder. “It’s already done, Eveny.” She walks away before I can say another word.
Save yourself. The whisper comes again as I sit here trying to stop the tears from flowing. I’m not sure if it’s in my head or whether there are actually spirits speaking to me through the leaves of the rosebushes.
“What if I don’t know how?” I finally say.
The only reply is silence.
The house is dark by the time I walk back inside; my father and Caleb have both gone to bed. Aunt Bea’s door is open, and when I peer inside, I see that her room is empty. She’s gone.
Tears cloud my vision as I walk into my own bedroom and pull the door closed behind me. The person who raised me, my one constant through everything, has walked out of my life. I’ve never felt more alone.
I’m sitting on my bed, my knees pulled up to my chest, when my door opens a crack. I look up, thinking it’s my dad. Instead, it’s Caleb.
“I heard you crying,” he says. I just stare at him as he clears his throat. “I knocked, but you didn’t answer. What’s wrong?”
“Nothing,” I mumble, picking at my comforter.
“It’s not nothing, Eveny,” he says. “You’re upset.”
“Why would you care?” I know I’m misdirecting my frustration, but he’s let me down too. I’m sick of people hurting me.
“You know why.”
I look up at him uncertainly, expecting to see his stony expression, the one that says everything about him is closed off to me. But instead, there’s warmth in his eyes. “What is it?” he asks.
I hesitate. “How can I be this strong zandara queen,” I say after a moment, “but also this needy little girl who doesn’t want people to leave her?”
“You’re not needy,” Caleb says. “Who left you?”
I recap my conversation with Aunt Bea. “She was the one person I could always beli
eve in, Caleb,” I say. “How could she have walked out on me so easily?”
Caleb sits down on the bed next to me. Right away, I can feel the heat rising to my cheeks. There’s something about being with him that always creates an electric charge in the room, and I can’t figure out if it’s the magic that binds him to me as my protector, or simple attraction.
He begins to rub my back, and my whole body suddenly feels warm. I know I’m blushing, and I hope he doesn’t notice. “It’s not like she’s walking away forever,” he says.
I shake my head. “You don’t know that.”
“Eveny, she’s just moving out. It sounds like she wants her own life.”
I wipe my tears away and sniffle. “How come I’m not worth staying for?” I ask in a voice so small I can barely hear it. My father left. My mother left. Now Aunt Bea. Maybe I’m feeling sorry for myself, but it’s true: the people who mean the most to me all disappear when I need them. “Everyone leaves, Caleb.”
Caleb stops rubbing my back and waits for me to look up at him. “I won’t leave.”
“Yeah, well, that doesn’t count. You have to be here.”
“No, I have to protect you,” he corrects me. “I don’t have to be here in your life. I could choose to be like Oscar and Patrick.”
I laugh a little, despite myself, and wipe my tears away. “You don’t seem like you’d be very good at chewing tobacco and lurking in the shadows.”
“It’s true. I’m partial to Trident and daylight,” he says with a straight face.
I crack a small smile, and Caleb begins gently stroking my back again. His fingers are so warm I can feel them through the thin cotton of my sundress. It’s like his heat is radiating through me.
I draw a deep breath. “The thing is, I don’t know who to trust anymore.” I can feel the tears running down my cheeks again, but this time, I don’t try to stop them. “Maybe my dad has my best interests at heart, but the way my aunt Bea hates him, it makes me feel so confused. I mean, she’s right to be wary, isn’t she? Why has he suddenly come back? If it was just about protecting me, wouldn’t he have been here sooner? I feel like there’s so much more to the situation that I’m not understanding.”
Midnight Dolls Page 7
