by Carrie Elks
He blew out a mouthful of air, his cheeks hollowing as it escaped. He needed to dig deep and find a way to stop obsessing about her so much.
Masturbation wasn’t working.
Nor was burying himself in his work.
Living next door to her was like a drunk living next door to a liquor store. The temptation was so strong he wasn’t sure the most disciplined of people could resist it.
And yet he needed to. Because he liked her. And wasn’t that a weak word? Whatever it was he felt toward her, it was enough to want to protect her from him.
Yeah, he was going to have to dig deep to find a way to stop himself from hurting her. And him.
Because the alternative was too damn awful to contemplate.
14
The sun had dropped behind the horizon hours ago, but Meghan couldn’t sleep. She’d showered, changed into her pajamas, and gotten into bed, but an hour of twisting and turning had only made her feel more restless.
She checked on Isla, who was curled up into her usual ball, her hair fanned out around her as she breathed softly against her pillow. Then she walked into the kitchen to pour herself a glass of water, leaning heavily on the counter, staring at the spot where Rich had been only a few hours earlier.
She hated this edgy feeling. She was usually an easy kind of person. One who took life how it came – having Isla had taught her that – but now she was all twisted up into a nervy ball and had no idea how to shake it off.
The sound of the elevator pinging echoed through the silence of her apartment. Meghan walked over to the door, pressing her eye against the peephole, knowing it could only be Rich. Gloria would be in bed for the night, and Kevin and Grant were still away. Maybe just seeing him through the glass would be enough to relax her muscles so she could finally sleep.
He stepped out of the elevator, his lips pressed tightly together. His brows pulled down in a puzzled frown as his gaze swept over her door.
Did he know she was there, spying on him? Her heart hammered against her ribcage.
Without thinking, she gripped the handle. A moment later, she was standing in the doorway, the cool air of the hall rushing over her heated skin.
Rich’s jaw twitched as he looked her over. His gaze took in her silken short pajamas, the tank clinging to her chest, revealing her tight-as-hell nipples.
His hair was raked back from his face, his skin flushed with exertion. She inhaled sharply, smelling the deep masculine scent of him.
Her breath caught in her throat.
Without a word, he walked into her apartment, his eyes dark and narrow. He reached to cup her jaw, lifting her head until their gazes clashed. Her lips parted and a soft sigh escaped, her body reacting to him with one simple touch. Then he lowered his head toward hers, his mouth claiming hers in a hard, hungry kiss.
His tongue slid between her lips, touching hers, and it sent a shot of pleasure between her thighs. Meghan hooked her arms around his neck, pressing her body to his, and he groaned, his body firm and unyielding as he slid his hands into her hair.
She could feel the pulsing ridge of him, pressing exactly where she needed it. Her breasts were sensitive as they rubbed against his top. He groaned again, kissing her harder, deeper, as though he couldn’t get enough. She arched against him, and he slid his hand down her back, over her behind, his fingers digging into the soft flesh of her thighs.
With one easy movement, he hooked her thigh around his hip, deepening the pressure of his excitement against her, making every nerve ending in her body vibrate with need. Then he lifted her other thigh around him, sliding his hands beneath her to hold her against him, his tongue plundering hers as he spun them around to press her against the door.
The roughness of his beard growth rubbed against her skin, his breath hot against her lips. She kissed him back, aching and needy, her hips moving in circles against him.
This wasn’t just a kiss. It was sex with clothes on. Pleasure was coiling deep inside her, making her needy as hell. With one hand beneath her, he lifted the other to trail his fingers over her hip, her waist, the swell of her breast. Her skin sung at his touch, making her gasp into his mouth. Rich let out a grunt of approval, sliding his thumb between their bodies, brushing the pad against her aching nipple.
The roughness of his body against her aching core was delicious. He knew exactly where she needed him, his thick length teasing and coaxing the pleasure until her brain couldn’t form a coherent thought.
“Rich,” she gasped, as he finally broke away to take a breath. “I’m going to…”
His eyes flew open, as though she’d broken the spell he’d been under. Without warning, he released his hold on her, stepping back until she slid down the door, her feet hitting the ground with a thud. Cool air wrapped around her body, her skin protesting at the sudden withdrawal of his warmth.
“Fuck.” Rich slammed his open palm against the wall. A muscle flickered angrily against his jaw. “I’m sorry.” He shook his head, taking a step back. “I…” He squeezed his eyes shut, exhaling heavily.
Meghan desperately tried to think of something to say. It’s okay, you almost made me come. No, that wasn’t what he needed right now. Or what she needed. She blinked, confused at the sudden change in his body language, her chest rising and falling rapidly in an attempt to regain some oxygen.
“I have to go.” His voice was thick and rough. “I’m so fucking sorry.” He held his body taut, his eyes cold and flinty, and for a moment, they connected with hers.
And then he turned on his heel and walked out of her apartment into the hall, his footsteps echoing in the emptiness. Her door softly closed, and a moment later she heard his slam.
She leaned her head on the cold wall, taking a deep breath to steady herself.
Dear Lord, the man knew how to kiss. But she had no idea how she was going to face him in the morning. She’d been a few seconds away from an orgasm while fully dressed. She knew it and he knew it.
And now they were going to have to find a way to deal with it.
“I’m sorry.” Carlyn’s eyes were shining, her face crumpled into embarrassment. “I don’t know what came over me, I really don’t. It won’t happen again, I promise.”
He’d left his apartment like a ninja this morning, practically tiptoeing past Meghan’s door, breathing a sigh of relief when he made it into the elevator without coming face to face with Meghan. Because he was an asshole and had no idea what to say to explain his behavior from last night.
On the plus side, it made him even more determined to put Carlyn in her place.
He held her gaze. “You’d better not. Because I’m not kidding, the next time I’m calling the police.”
Carlyn let out a ragged sigh, pressing her lips together. She looked genuinely upset, as though she finally realized what she’d done.
“I didn’t mean to scare the little girl. I just wanted to see what you saw in Meghan. Wanted to know how to give that to you.”
“There’s nothing you can give me that’ll make me want you. Nothing. We went on two dates. That’s it. You can’t keep stalking me like this.” He wanted to hit something. How the hell had his life gotten this complicated?
A tear rolled down Carlyn’s cheek, and it made him feel like a prize asshole. But there was no way he could risk her thinking he had any feelings toward her. Not when Meghan and Isla’s safety was in danger.
“I’m sorry,” she said again, lifting her hand to wipe her tear away. “You were my first date after my divorce. I really thought we had something together. And my girlfriends said that maybe you were just busy, being a doctor and all. They said I needed to be a modern woman and take the lead.”
Rich raked his hand through his hair. “You didn’t need to do anything. We didn’t have anything. We don’t. I just want you to stay away from me. And from everybody I love.”
Her lips trembled. “I understand that you never want to see me again. And I promise not to come to the hospital or your apartment agai
n. Let me just put Belle’s show on and then I’ll never trouble you again.”
“Maybe we should just cancel it.” He grimaced, because he knew he couldn’t. It would hurt Belle too much. Dammit, this was out of control.
“Your sister has a lot of talent. And I have connections that could help her. Let me put on her show and then I’ll back off. Let her make the connections and see where they take her.” Carlyn’s voice was full of contrition. “She could be very successful. I know she could. And I don’t want to be the person who causes her to lose that.”
Rich’s stomach contracted. He never wanted to see Carlyn again. But this was Belle’s career they were talking about. “Okay. The show goes ahead, but I’m serious, don’t come near me, don’t bother me. Or I’ll get the law involved.”
“Of course.” Carlyn nodded rapidly. “The show is all about Belle. I won’t do anything to hurt her.”
Rich nodded and stood, his jaw twitching because he was desperate to get out of here. “As long as we’re clear.” If they weren’t, he was going to lose it.
“We are.” She nodded.
“Okay then.” He walked to her office door. He couldn’t wait to leave her gallery and breathe in some fresh ocean air.
“I’ll see you at the show,” Carlyn called after him. He nodded, but didn’t look back.
He’d gotten what he needed. She wouldn’t bother Meghan and Isla anymore. Now he just needed to stop himself from doing the same thing.
Rich: I spoke with Carlyn. She promised she won’t harass you or Isla again. I think she was being honest, but let me know if she doesn’t keep to her word.
Meghan scanned his message, her stomach tight as she read his name. She’d been expecting him to knock on the door, to tell her what had happened. Maybe to clear the air between them because right now it was thick as hell.
Instead, he’d sent the text message and she hadn’t heard a word from him since. Hadn’t even heard him come home from work or any noise from his apartment. He’d become the neighbor she never saw, like Kevin and Grant.
And she missed him.
She’d replied, of course. Two days ago. And she hadn’t heard a word from him since. So why the hell was she sitting here in the middle of the night re-reading a text exchange that was clearly over and done with?
He’d made it clear with his silence that he regretted their kiss. And there was no way she was going to mention it if he didn’t. But she missed her friend, missed smiling with him, talking with him, missed knowing there was somebody on her side.
She wanted to rewind time but she had no idea how to do that.
So instead they were both avoiding each other. And if she was being honest, it hurt a lot. He’d been a friend when she needed one. She hated that their kiss had messed everything up.
15
Meghan opened the back door of her Honda and Isla jumped out, a huge grin on her face as she ran up the path toward her grandparents’ large redbrick house. Isla hadn’t mentioned Carlyn again – it felt as though she’d completely forgotten about their run in at the pool, though she’d asked more than a few times when they would be able to go to the beach with Rich again.
Meghan didn’t have an answer for her, because she’d only seen him three times since that kiss. And each time had been rushed – he’d been running out of the door to work, or she’d been talking with Gloria in the hall and he’d given them both a brief hello. Once he’d asked her if she’d heard anything from Carlyn, the relief evident in his expression when she’d told him she hadn’t.
So was that it? They were done being friends? It felt like a loose end that was constantly nagging in her mind. Like she couldn’t get comfortable because they had unfinished business.
“Come here and give your Granny some kisses.” Meghan’s mom hugged Isla tight as she reached the top step of their house. “We have so much fun planned this weekend, I hope you’ve got lots of energy. And I made your favorite dinner.”
“Chicken pot pie?” Isla’s eyes widened.
“That’s right. And if you’re very good we’ll make some cookies for dessert.”
Isla turned to look at Meghan, her eyes dancing with delight. At least one person in her life was easy to please. She’d been so excited about sleeping over at her Granny and Gramps’ house she hadn’t stopped talking about it for days.
And if she was being honest, Meghan was excited, too. For the break more than anything. She couldn’t remember the last time she had the apartment to herself for more than half an hour. When she finished work tomorrow she planned to veg out in front of the TV with a Netflix series, with a pizza on one side of her and a pint of ice cream on the other.
Bliss.
“Hello sweetheart.” Her mother gave her a tentative smile. “Thank you for letting Isla stay.”
Meghan nodded. “She’s looking forward to it.”
“So are we.” She cleared her throat. “Your father wanted to talk to you. He’s in the living room.” Grabbing Isla’s hand, Meghan’s mom led her into the hallway. “Why don’t we take your bag to your room? I bought you a new book to read. I thought we could start it tonight.”
Meghan closed the front door behind her, as Isla ran up the stairs, her grandma bustling behind her. The living room door was ajar, so she pushed it open, seeing her dad sitting on his easy chair with the newspaper folded in his hands. He was wearing his reading glasses, a pen poised between his thumb and finger.
“Mom said you wanted to talk about something?” Meghan asked.
He put the paper down, gesturing at her to sit on the sofa opposite. “First of all, I wanted to thank you for letting Isla stay with us. I know we haven’t always seen eye to eye, but we love her very much.”
It was the closest he’d ever come to conciliation. “I know.” Her throat felt tight. Sure, she hadn’t had the kindest upbringing, but they treated Isla so differently. That was a good thing. “She’s been looking forward to it all week.”
“Your mom’s hoping you’ll let her come and stay every couple of months. That little girl is the apple of her eye. She lives and breathes for her.”
“I know she does.” Meghan smiled. “She’s a good girl.”
“And that’s thanks to you.”
Whoa. She wasn’t quite sure what to say to that.
“There was something else I wanted to tell you. A man knocked on the door on Tuesday asking questions about you.”
Meghan blinked. “What kind of questions.”
“It was a lawyer, I think. He wanted to speak with you. I told him you didn’t live here any more.”
“Did he say what it was in connection with?” She wondered if it had something to do with the shop. That was the last time she’d used anybody from the legal profession.
“I’m not sure. He left a card.” Her dad stood and walked over to the shining oak bureau on the other side of the living room, taking a small white business card from the pile of letters there. “He seemed very nice. I wondered if he had anything to do with Aunt Grace’s will. She’s going into the hospital next week and was talking about updating it. She always talked about leaving some money to you and Isla.”
He passed Meghan the card and she looked at it. “I guess I’ll give him a call.”
“Good idea.”
It was getting dark by the time she pulled into the parking lot of her apartment building. The pool area was closed and locked, and lights blazed from the windows of the tall white buildings, the occasional shadow of a person passing in front of the glass. The wind must have been blowing from the west, because she could hear the sound of the waves crashing against the shore. Tomorrow was forecast to be a bright sunny day, and she’d already asked all her staff to come in. The tourist season was well and truly up and running, and she knew they’d be run off their feet.
“Hey.”
She jumped at the sound of his voice cutting through the darkness. Rich was walking around the corner of the building, from the underground lot where he parked his car
. She’d been lucky enough to score a space on the surface lot, which made life a lot easier when she had things to carry.
His hair was damp, brushed back from his delicious face. He was wearing an old, washed-out gray t-shirt with a Nirvana logo on it, the words half peeled away, and a pair of dark sweat pants that hung low on his hips. Over his shoulder was a gym bag, his fingers curled around the handle.
Her eyes lifted to his and she felt her chest tightening. For a moment he said nothing. Just stared at her with those vivid blue eyes, his lips slightly parted, his brow pinched as though he was trying to work her out.
Meghan swallowed hard, trying not to think about the last time she saw him and that kiss that haunted her dreams.
“Hi.” She was almost breathless even though she hadn’t moved an inch.
He inclined his head at the lobby. “You going up?”
She nodded. He pushed the door open, holding it for her as she passed him. The warm notes of his shampoo twisted in her airways. Swallowing hard, she walked over to her mailbox, unlocking it and pulling out the brochures and junk mail from inside. Her cheeks were blazing, her breathing uneven. Why was this so weird? The memory of that kiss weighed down her shoulders, making her muscles ache. And still her nerves tingled because they wanted it again.
Wanted him again.
There was a postcard among the junk. She lifted it up, looking at the image of two guys standing next to a llama in front of tall, green mountains. The sky was blue, peppered with wispy clouds that seemed to circle around the peaks.
“That’s Kevin and Grant.” Rich’s voice was close. She could feel the warmth radiating from him as he leaned over her shoulder. “I got my postcard yesterday.”
She turned it over.
Bringing this one home with us. Do you think she’ll fit in the elevator? Kevin and Grant xx
