“Anytime you want to borrow mine, say the word.”
He swatted her on the butt. “Come on, take a swig of that caffeine to get your engine goin’ while I start your shower.”
Start her shower?
He disappeared into the bathroom. When he returned, she sat exactly where he’d left her, coffee cup in one hand, sheet gripped in the other.
“What’s wrong?”
“I’m no good at this.” Dazed, she shook her head. “You seem so...so easy with it.”
“With what?”
“The morning-after.”
“Oh, for—” Barefoot and shirtless, he planted his hands on his hips. Well-worn, unbuttoned jeans rode low. The six-pack abs, shoulders and arms would make any sports company beg for him in their ads. And they did.
Would make any woman drool. And they did.
She did.
Katie Sara forced herself to close her mouth and meet his eyes. But on the way, her gaze bumped into his mouth, remembered what it had done to her last night, and she couldn’t quite make those last couple inches.
“Earth to Katie Sara.”
Sloshing coffee, she set her cup on the nightstand and wrapped the sheet around herself. Time to shower.
She glanced around the room.
“Lookin’ for somethin’?”
“My P.J.s.”
“At the bottom of the stairs. Where I helped you out of them, remember, before carryin’ you up here to...tuck you in.”
He grinned and flicked the sheet. “You don’t really need this, Ace. Nothin’ under here I haven’t seen.”
“Ohhhh!” Blushing, she fled.
“How do you want your eggs?” he called after her.
“Scrambled! Like my brain!”
While she showered and dressed, reality set in. The remnants of last night’s horror, both real and nightmare, left her edgy. Katie Sara delivered a harsh lecture to herself. She’d screwed up. Big time. Every cell in her body cried. It was a wonder the house didn’t flood.
When she faced her reflection in the mirror, she didn’t see an executioner, yet that’s exactly what she was about to become. In the next few minutes, she was going to kill any chance she’d ever have for happiness.
Before Reiner left her house this morning, she had to tell him about his son. Watch what he felt for her change to hatred and loathing. Dropping to the side of the bed, she fought for some shred of equilibrium.
“Katie Sara, the eggs are gettin’ cold!”
She swallowed. “I’m...I’m coming.” With a tremulous hand, she brushed her hair back and swiped on some lipstick. The color might help.
Shoulders squared, she went down to breakfast, a death-row prisoner facing her last meal. She managed to sit beside him and choke down crunchy eggs and only slightly burned toast. Washing them down with coffee, she made small talk and forbid herself to drown in those gorgeous blue eyes.
“Thanks for the eggs, Reiner.”
“Dinner tonight?”
Now. “I don’t think so.”
Something in her tone must have warned him. He tensed. “Something wrong?”
“I think that—”
He held up a hand. “Katie Sara, this is bullshit. We’re too old to be playin’ games. I’m goin’ to lay it on the line. You’re the one I want to be spending my time with. The only one.”
“And I told you last night, you don’t know me anymore. I’m not the girl I used to be.”
“No, you’re not. We all change.” He took her face between his hands. “But I do know you.”
“No, you don’t!” She jerked free of him. “You’d hate me if you did.” She blinked rapidly, fighting tears.
Silent for a beat, he asked softly, “How can you say that?”
“Because it’s true. I’ve tried to tell you, but... Reiner...” She closed her eyes. She couldn’t! Couldn’t do this after all. Not this morning. She was pathetic! “Go home.”
“No.” He dug in his heels. “I’m not goin’ anywhere, damn it. I do know you. You’re the woman who gave up a professorship to come back to her hometown to bury her daddy, to stay with him so he wouldn’t be alone with people who hated him.”
When she opened her eyes, the cold reached to the center of her bones. “But it turns out they don’t hate him. He has real friends in town. People who will watch out for him. Put flowers on his grave. Daddy—”
For one second, her voice failed, then she pulled it together and went on. “Daddy doesn’t need me.”
She dropped her gaze, twisted her gold pinky ring. “I’ve fallen in love with Paradox, and I want to stay. I didn’t expect you to be here, never guessed you would be. I never meant to hurt you. I was wrong, Reiner, so very wrong, to leave the way I did at seventeen.” Her throat closed. She rubbed it and went on. “I was wrong to lead you on these past weeks.”
She inhaled sharply and forced herself to meet his eyes. “But I can’t see you anymore.”
“What?”
“I said—”
“I heard what you said.”
“Then why—”
“Because I can’t believe what I’m hearin’.” He searched her face. “What’s wrong with you?”
“Nothing.”
He’d caught the slight tremble in her voice. Though it was possible he’d been this angry before, he couldn’t remember when. He wanted to put his fist through the wall. Hell, he wanted to put the kitchen table through the wall!
“Tell me.” His voice was hard as flint. “What am I supposed to do here, Katie Sara? Say it’s been a hell of a lot of fun? Have a good life? Well, forget that!” His voice rose. “What am I? Huh? Good for the occasional stud service? A roll in the hay when you’re feelin’ hot and turned-on? Protection when you need a hardass to deal with your bullies? A little company when you’re down in the dumps?
“But not good enough, never good enough for anything permanent!” His fist thumped the table, sent the silverware clattering. “Well, screw that, princess!”
He grabbed her arm, jerked her to him, and brought his lips down in a bruising kiss. A kiss meant to thumb its nose rather than proclaim love.
When he pulled away, she fought for composure.
“I don’t know what your game is, Katherine Sara McMichaels, but I aim to find out!” The door slammed behind him.
Katie Sara dropped her head to the table, stared at the ring left by Reiner’s coffee cup, then reached for the phone. “Rhonda? You awake?”
“Barely.”
“I think I have to leave.”
“What?”
“It’s complicated, but Axel and his friends broke in last night. Reiner came over and stopped them. After Clay Lewis took them away, we, ah, well, Reiner didn’t leave till this morning.”
Silence.
“Rhonda?”
“You didn’t tell him, did you?”
“I love him.”
“I know.”
“What am I going to do?”
“Stay and face the music, honey. You ran before. Don’t run again.” Rhonda hesitated. “You need to tell him, though, real soon. I’ve got a bad, bad feelin’.”
Chapter Nineteen
Hot enough to melt the fillings right out of your teeth, the day matched Katie Sara’s mood perfectly. Mean and nasty. The quick trip to the police station to take care of the paperwork had eaten up almost two hours, and the person who’d installed the air conditioning system there deserved to be locked up.
A cool shower had helped, at least momentarily. She stepped out, wrapping a towel around her hair and drying off as best she could. In this humidity, dry was relative. Tossing on a pair of cut-offs and a white T-shirt, she decided to let her hair air-dry.
The doorbell rang.
Fear and adrenalin pumped through her, unavoidable and unstoppable, a reaction to last night. Stupid, stupid, stupid. None of those boys would bother her again.
Reiner? It could be him, and he might be even more of a problem. He had the ability to bre
ak her heart beyond repair. In truth, he’d already done so.
Could she pretend she wasn’t here? Hope he’d go away?
The buzzer rang again.
Shoot. She finger-combed her hair and skipped down the stairs. She’d be polite but firm. She’d tell him she was sorry, but he’d have to go. Katie Sara said a quick prayer that she could stick to her guns.
Steeling herself, jaw set, eyes defiant, she yanked open the door, then blinked and readjusted her gaze lower. And she knew.
A young boy stared back at her. After several eons passed, he asked, “Are you K. S. McMichaels?”
She wet her lips. “Yes. Yes, I am.”
“I’m Danny. Are you my birth mother?”
Staring into forest green eyes, eyes identical to her own, into a younger version of Reiner’s face, she couldn’t draw air. She clutched the screen door so hard it cut into her fingers.
Her son. His name was Danny, and he was beautiful.
He was here.
She couldn’t speak.
“Well, are you?” Belligerence shot through the green.
With great effort, she said, “Yes, Danny, I believe I am.” She opened the door wider. “Why don’t you come in? Please.”
So stiff, she thought. Mother and son. Strangers. As the young boy stepped past, her chin trembled, and the first tears gathered. She fought them, but still they clouded her vision.
How did he think of her? With hurt? Disdain? Hatred? But if that, would he have come here to find her? Curiosity was a potent drug. Her son had apparently caved to it. Or did he have a reason for running away? Had his adoptive parents abused him in some way?
He dropped a backpack on the floor and turned to her.
“I don’t know what to say.” She held out her hands. “I’ve dreamt of this so many times. Now you’re here, and I’m dumbstruck.”
“Why didn’t you want me?”
“Why didn’t I—” His words cut her to the bone. “Oh, no! I did!” She took his hand, and he let her. “Danny, I was very young when you were born. I didn’t think I could take care of you, give you what you needed. I gave you up for adoption, not because I didn’t love you, but because I did.”
“You didn’t hate me?”
“Hate you? Oh, honey, I loved you from the very instant I knew you existed.”
Jaw set, he stared silently at her, looking oh, so much like his father. She could almost see his mind working. Finally, he said, “Okay.”
That simple.
“What does K. S. stand for?”
“Katherine Sara. Everyone calls me Katie Sara, though.”
“Is that what I should call you? Or should I call you Ms. McMichaels?”
“Katie Sara will be fine.” Not Mom, never Mom. But she smiled and blinked again, losing the battle of the tears. “I’m sorry,” she sniffed.
“It’s okay.” He shifted from one foot to the other. “You’re a girl. They do that stuff all the time.”
She laughed through her tears. “I guess so.” She hesitated. “Do you think maybe I could hug you?” Her voice broke.
“Yeah, I guess it would be okay.” His own eyes misted.
She pulled him to her and hugged him tightly, thankful when he hugged her back. By all rights, this child should hate her with a passion. Yet here he was in her arms.
Temporarily. She had to remember that.
Drawing back, she asked, “Your mom and dad. They’re nice?”
He grinned. “They’re the greatest. My dad takes me to ballgames and fishing. Me and my mom do lots of stuff, too.”
“They’re good to you?”
“Yeah!”
“I met them, you know.”
“You did?”
“Before...before you were born. I wanted to be sure— They seemed like wonderful people.”
“They are.”
“How did you get here?”
“I took a bus. I walked here from the station.”
“A bus.”
“Yeah, I’ve been saving up for an iPod, but I bought a bus ticket instead.”
She bit her lip, thinking how frightened his parents must be right now, unsure where their child was, whether or not he was safe.
“Danny, we have to call your parents.”
“They’re gonna be mad.”
“I’m sure they will be, but they’re bound to be crazy with worry. You need to talk to them. Tell them where you are. That you’re okay. Trust me. Your mom and dad have to be frantic wondering if you’re all right.”
She gave him a glass of milk and an Oreo, then the two sat together with the phone. Slowly, he entered the number. The reality of what he’d done hit home, and he was none too anxious to face his parents.
Katie Sara was adamant. “You can’t let them suffer another minute, Danny.”
The phone was answered instantly. She figured they’d been sitting practically on top of it, praying for this call.
“Mom, it’s me.” Katie Sara heard a woman’s voice, then some crying on the other end. Danny listened, his lip trembling. “I’m sorry if I scared you, but—” He raised those big green eyes to hers.
“Tell her where you are,” she mouthed.
“Dad?”
Katie Sara heard a male voice now on the other end.
“Dad, I’m okay. Nobody hurt me. I left by myself. Tommy and me—”
She couldn’t make out the other side of the conversation.
“I know Tommy’s in Disneyworld. But before he left, we made some phone calls. It’s a long story, but I’m in Paradox.”
He listened. “Yeah.” He nodded. “I’m with her.” His young face twisted, torn in two. “Yeah, I’ll put her on the phone.”
Katie Sara took the phone from Danny. “Hello?”
“What the hell do you think you’re pulling? You agreed to no contact.”
“I didn’t contact—” She hesitated. “I didn’t contact your son. He showed up at my door this afternoon. I have no idea how he found me.”
“Right! Just out of the blue!”
“Yes, sir. Out of the blue.”
Danny took the phone from her. “Dad, she didn’t know anything about it. I found a letter that Mom wrote a long time ago. That’s how Tommy and I figured out where she lived. Don’t blame her.” He paused. “Please.”
She heard the man’s deep rumble again. Danny handed her the phone again.
“We’re coming to get him. We should be there inside two hours.”
Katie Sara swallowed. “We’ll be here.” She gave him directions and hung up. “Are you hungry, Danny?”
“Starving. I’m sorry. They’re really mad, aren’t they?”
“Mostly scared, I think. They’ll be okay.”
“Did I get you in trouble?”
She shook her head and went into the kitchen, Danny and Chia trailing her. While she made peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, Danny teased Chia with a paper streamer. Katie Sara wasn’t sure which of the two was having the better time.
A slight breeze had kicked up, cooling it off slightly.
“Inside or out?” she asked.
“Outside.”
Settled in her peaceful backyard, the scent of flowers soothing her, she asked the question that nagged at her. “How did you find me?”
“At the end of last school year, next year’s language arts teacher gave us a summer assignment. We had to write our autobiographies and bring them with us on the first day of school. I was hounding Mom for information, so she finally told me there was a box up in the attic with some stuff in it that might help.”
He took a huge bite of his sandwich and washed it down with milk. “Anyway, tucked inside an old Winnie the Pooh book she used to read to me, I found a letter addressed to K. S. McMichaels. Me and Tommy wondered why Mom never sent it, you know?”
When he looked at her, she nodded, then tore another shred from her own sandwich.
“It was a letter my mom wrote to you.”
“To me?” She straigh
tened in surprise.
“Yeah, thanking you for me, you know. Telling you what a wonderful gift you’d given her and my dad.”
In that instance, any doubts about the parents she’d chosen for her child vanished. They cherished him, a gift not taken for granted.
“Why do you think she didn’t mail it to you?”
“She didn’t need to. It was like a diary for her.”
“Oh. Maybe Tommy and I shouldn’t have read it if it was private.”
“I don’t know. You’ll have to talk to her about that.”
“Anyway, then I had your name and Paradox, but it was a different street.”
“It would have been my mother’s address.”
He nodded. “Yeah, probably. You still lived at home then?”
“Kind of,” she said. No sense going into all that.
“Tommy and me went to the library and started looking for K. S. McMichaels in the phone book. We eliminated the guys. We called one K.S. while Tommy’s parents were at work, but she was really, really old. I asked, and she said she was sixty, not that it was any of my business. We crossed her off the list.”
Katie Sara sat in awe of this child who’d worked so hard, put so much thought into the process of finding her. An eleven-year-old so logical, so persevering. So Reiner. Genetics was indeed powerful stuff.
“We figured we’d struck out. Then I called Paradox information and they had a new listing for K. S. McMichaels, and I knew. I didn’t call. When Tommy left with his parents and his dorky little sister yesterday for Disneyworld, I decided to come find you.”
Because he looked slightly the worse for wear after the bus trip and the walk in the humid heat, Katie Sara suggested Danny take a quick shower before his folks arrived. It probably wouldn’t be a bad idea for her to change, either.
Ten minutes later, dressed in pale pink capris and a button-up blouse, she left her room, worrying that she had nothing to serve the Wellners if a snack seemed apropos after they arrived. What exactly was the correct etiquette for this situation? She didn’t remember ever reading about this one in Dear Abby.
From the hallway, she heard water running in the guest bath. Danny, the child she and Reiner had created, stood in that shower. Her leaden heart melted away, leaving a feather-light one in its place to dance an Irish jig. Hadn’t she prayed for this moment? Dreamed about it? However the day turned out, she’d take it and thank the gods.
Moonlight, Motorcycles, and Bad Boys Page 20
