by Premchand
Kaki lifted her head; she didn’t cry or say anything. Silently she dragged herself back to her room. Rupa’s tone was so cruel that her entire mind, her senses and all her feelings were drawn towards it. When a big tree from the riverbank falls into the river, water from the vicinity rushes to fill the gap made by it!
3
The feast was ready. Leaf plates were laid out, and the guests began to eat. The women sang the songs that are sung during festivals. The barber and other servants who came along with the guests also sat down to eat at some distance from the group, but as a matter of etiquette no one could get up before everyone had eaten. One or two guests who were somewhat educated were annoyed because the servants were taking too much time. They considered this restriction to be useless and irrational.
Sitting in her room, Kaki was regretting her adventure that had brought so much humiliation. She was not angry with Rupa, but cursing herself for her own impatience. She was speaking the truth—how can the members of the family eat before the guests? I could not show this much patience and had to face disgrace before everyone. Now, I won’t go as long as I’m not called.
Thinking along these lines, she began to wait for the call. But the tasteful aroma of ghee was testing her patience. Every moment began to seem like an age to her. Now the leaf plates must have been laid out! The guests must have arrived. People are washing their hands and feet, the barber is serving water. She surmised that people must have sat down to eat. The songs were still on; she lay down to take rest and began to hum a song. Now she felt that she had been singing for long. Were the guests still eating? She could not hear any sound. People must have left after the feast. No one came to call me. Rupa is angry, she might not call me. She must be thinking that I will go on my own. After all, I was not a guest that she should come to invite me. Kaki prepared herself to go out. The anticipation that she would encounter puris and spicy curry tickled her senses. She began making all kinds of plans in her mind, First, I will eat the puris with vegetable curry, then with curd and sugar. The kachoris will be yummy with raita. I will demand several helpings, never mind what people might think. They might say that I have no control over myself. Let them. I am going to eat puris after such a long time and can’t be content without having my fill. She sat on all fours and slid down to the courtyard. But fate betrayed her again. Her impatient mind had miscalculated the time, the guests were still sitting. Some had just finished eating and were licking their fingers; some looked from the corner of their eyes to see if others were still eating. Some were worrying about how to take the remaining puris with them. Some had finished the curd but were longing for a second helping for which they were hesitating to ask. At this moment, Kaki slowly crawled amidst the guests. Several men stood up, startled. They exclaimed, ‘Who is this crone? Where has she come from? Take care that she doesn’t touch you.’
Buddhiram flared up at the sight of Kaki. He was holding a plate of puris. He threw the plate to the ground and, just as a cruel moneylender pounces on an unfaithful and fugitive borrower, he held Kaki with both hands, dragged her to the dark room and flung her inside. Kaki’s imaginary scene was destroyed in a moment by the blow of a whirlwind.
The guests finished eating. The family members also ate. The musicians, the washer man and the cobbler, too, had eaten. But no one remembered Kaki. Both Buddhiram and Rupa had decided to punish her for her shamelessness. No one took mercy on her old age, her destitution and her helplessness, except Ladli who felt an ache for her grandmother.
Ladli was deeply attached to Kaki. An innocent and simple-hearted girl, she had no trace of childish play or restlessness. On both occasions when her parents had dragged Kaki away with such cruelty, Ladli’s heart cried for her. She was annoyed that her parents did not immediately give Kaki a lot of puris. Would the guests eat all of them? And would the earth fall if Kaki ate before the guests? She wanted to go to Kaki to give her solace but couldn’t for fear of her mother. She had not eaten her portion of puris at all, but had kept them hidden in the doll box. She wanted to take them to her and was growing restless. Hearing my footsteps Kaki will get up and be so happy at the sight of the puris. She will shower her affection on me.
4
It was eleven at night. Rupa was sleeping in the courtyard. But Ladli’s eyes were sleepless. The desire to see Kaki’s happiness while eating the puris did not allow her to sleep. The doll box was right there in front of her. When she felt that Amma had gone to sleep she got up and wanted to go to Kaki. But it was pitch dark outside. Only the embers in the earthen ovens were still lit, and there was a dog sitting there. Her glance fell towards the neem tree beside the door. She felt as though Hanumanji was sitting on it. She could see his tail and mace quite clearly. She closed her eyes in fear. At that moment the dog sat up, which gave courage to Ladli. A waking dog provided her more security than sleeping human beings. She picked up the box and made for Kaki’s room.
5
Kaki could only remember that someone had caught her by the hand and dragged her along. Then it felt as though someone was pulling her over a mountain. Her feet stumbled on the stone a couple of times. Then someone threw her down from the mountain and she passed out.
Now that she had come to her senses, there was not a sound anywhere. She thought that everyone must have eaten and gone to sleep, and with them her fate had also gone to sleep. Oh God, how could she spend the night without food? A fire was burning in her belly. Ah! No one spared a thought for me. Will they add to their wealth by cutting down on my food? These people do not show any concern that this old woman might die any day. Why hurt her? I just eat a couple of rotis and nothing more. They grudge me even this. I am a blind and handicapped woman—I don’t hear or understand anything. Even if I had gone to the courtyard Buddhiram could have told me, ‘Kaki, the guests are eating right now, you can come in a while.’ He dragged me and then dumped me here. Rupa abused me before everyone for the puris. Even after doing all this to me, their stony hearts did not melt. They fed everyone, but did not so much as ask me. If they didn’t give me anything then, will they give now?
Arguing thus, Kaki lay down, resigned to her fate. The humiliation hurt her deeply and she had wanted to cry her heart out, but she couldn’t do so while the guests were there.
Suddenly, she heard someone saying, ‘Kaki, wake up. I have brought puris.’ Kaki recognized Ladli’s voice. She sat up with alacrity. She groped for Ladli with both her hands and made her sit on her lap. Ladli took out the puris and gave them to her.
Kaaki asked, ‘Did your Amma give them?’
Ladli replied, ‘No. It’s my portion.’
Kaki grabbed the puris. She emptied the box in five minutes.
Ladli asked, ‘Kaki, did you have your fill?’
Just as a little bit of rain shoots the temperature up instead of bringing it down, the few puris whetted Kaki’s desire and hunger further. She said, ‘No, girl. Go to your mother and get some more.’
Ladli said, ‘Amma is sleeping. If I wake her up, she’ll beat me.’
Kaki scraped the box once again. There were some leftover crumbs that she picked and ate. She licked her lips again and again, longing for more.
Kaki’s heart was craving more and more puris. When the bridge of contentment breaks then one’s cravings cross all limits. If drunkards are reminded of alcohol, they are blinded by their desire for it. Kaki’s impatient mind was carried away by the strong current of her desire. She forgot the distinction between what is right and what is wrong. She resisted her desire for some time, then suddenly said to Ladli, ‘Take hold of my hand and lead me to the place where the guests were eating.’
Ladli couldn’t make out what was going on in her mind. She held out her hand and took Kaki to the place which was now strewn with leaf plates in which people had taken their food. The wretched hungry woman began to pick leftover pieces of puris from the leaf plates and eat them. How tasty was the curd! How delicious the kachoris! And how delicate the khasta! However dim-witt
ed she might have been, Kaki knew very well that she was doing something she shouldn’t do. I’m licking stale plates discarded by others! But old age is the final stage when all our desires concentrate on a single point. In Kaki’s case, this centre was her sense of taste.
Just at that moment Rupa’s eyes opened. She realized that Ladli was not there by her side. She became flustered and looked around the charpoy lest Ladli had tumbled off it. When she didn’t find her, she came out to see her standing beside the debris of discarded leaf plates, while Kaki was eating pieces of leftover puris from them. Rupa was stunned by the sight. Her state at that moment was akin to the feeling of a cow that sees its own throat being slit. What can be a more pitiful sight than a Brahmin woman looking for food in leftovers? For some morsels of puris her mother-in-law was taking recourse to such a lowly and reprehensible act! It was a scene that would shock anyone. It seemed as though the earth had stopped on its axis and the sky was spinning around, that a calamity was going to befall the world. Rupa didn’t feel anger. Her anger melted into deep sorrow. Pity and fear brought tears to her eyes. Who was responsible for this adharma? She raised her hands towards the heavens and said with a pure heart, ‘My God. Have pity on my children. Do not punish me for this adharma. I’ll be ruined.’
Rupa had never witnessed an exhibition of her own selfishness and injustice so directly before. She thought, How cruel can I be? I have reduced someone to this state from whose property I receive an income of two hundred rupees per year! It is all my doing. O merciful God! I’ve committed a blunder. Please forgive me. It was my son’s tilak ceremony today. Hundreds of people were fed. I was a slave to their wishes. We spent hundreds of rupees for our prestige. But the one whose money helped us do this was left starving. Just because that old woman is helpless!
Rupa lit the diya, opened the door of the dresser, arranged all the food on a plate and moved towards Kaki’s room.
It was past midnight. The sky looked like a huge plate of stars on which the angels were arranging heavenly offerings. But none of them could experience the supreme joy that Kaki felt when she saw the plate before her. Rupa said with a choked tone, ‘Kaki, get up. Have your meal. Please forgive me for my lapse today. Pray to God that He may forgive my crime.’
Like simple, innocent children who forget the chiding and beating of their mother the moment she gives them sweets, Kaki began to eat, oblivious of anything else. Every pore of her body exuded a blessing for Rupa who was lost in that moment of heavenly bliss.
Translated from the Hindi by M. Asaduddin
A Father’s Love
1
Babu Chaitanya Das had studied economics in depth; he wasn’t just a student, but an ardent practitioner as well. He was a lawyer, he owned land in a few villages and he had some money saved in the bank as well. All of this was the result of that education in economics. Whenever he was faced with an expense, his mind would naturally wonder, Will either I or someone else profit from this? If neither stood to profit, he would mercilessly kill the purchase. ‘Waste’ was like poison to him. The principles of economics had become his life’s foundation.
Babu Sahib had two sons. The older was named Prabhu Das and the younger, Shiv Das. Both were in college. The two were only a year apart in school. Both were clever, handsome young men, but Prabhu Das received more of his father’s affection. He showed greater signs of success and his father had huge ambitions for him when he was born. He wanted to send him to England for higher education. His biggest wish was to make him a lawyer.
2
But it just so happened that after his BA exams, Prabhu Das began running a fever. He was started on medication that the doctor had ordered. For a month, various doctors came by, but his fever still didn’t subside. He began treatment with another doctor, but that too had no effect. Day by day, Prabhu Das grew emaciated. He didn’t have the strength to get out of bed. So much so that even when he heard the good news that he had passed his exams first class, there wasn’t even the slightest trace of joy on his face. Each day, he was drowning further in worry. Living began to feel burdensome. One day, Chaitanya Das asked the doctor, ‘Why is it that two months have passed and the medicines still have had no effect?’
The doctor replied apprehensively, ‘I don’t mean to make you anxious. I suspect that he has tuberculosis.’
Frantically, Chaitanya Das said, ‘Tuberculosis?’
‘Yes, sir, he has all the symptoms.’
In disbelief, as if he had just heard something shocking, Chaitanya Das said, ‘He has tuberculosis!’
Consolingly, the doctor said, ‘The disease infects the body very surreptitiously.’
‘But no one in my family had this illness.’
‘It’s possible that he caught the germ from his friends.’
After thinking for a few minutes, Chaitanya Das said, ‘What should we do now?’
‘Continue his course of medicine. It hasn’t reached his lungs yet. There’s hope that he’ll get better.’
‘How long do you think it will take for the medicine to have effect?’
‘I can’t say for certain, but he should be better in three or four months. The fever tends to go down in the winter.’
‘After he gets better, will he be able to continue his studies?’
‘There is a slim chance that he will be able to exert himself mentally.’
‘What if we send him to a sanatorium?’
‘That would be best.’
‘And then will he be completely healthy?’
‘It’s possible, but in order to keep his fever down, he needs to avoid any mental exertion.’
Chaitanya Das said dejectedly, ‘That means his entire life is ruined.’
3
The summer was over. The rains were coming. Prabhu Das’s condition worsened each day. Lying in bed, he would read what famous doctors had written about this disease. He would compare his condition to their descriptions. For the first several days, his health remained unstable. His condition would improve and he would start reading books and talking about his plans for foreign travel, but then when his fever intensified, he would lose all interest in life. But after a few months, when he realized that it would be difficult to overcome this illness, he decided to stop worrying about life. He stopped caring about his daily routine and avoided looking his family members in the eye. He didn’t bother to follow the prescribed diet and even threw away the medicine when no one was looking. He would sit with his friends to raise his spirits. If anyone asked him something about his health, he would get irritated and turn away. His disposition acquired a melancholic resignation and a philosophical disposition. He fearlessly critiqued tradition and social custom. Even though Chaitanya Das was constantly worried that if the outcome was certain, then what was the point in wasting money, he still patiently kept on providing for his medicine, partly out of love for his son and partly out of fear of social stigma.
It was winter. Chaitanya Das sat at the head of his son’s bed and looked over at the doctor questioningly. When the doctor sat down on the chair after checking his temperature, Chaitanya Das asked, ‘It’s winter now. Can you see any change in his condition?’
‘Not at all. In fact, the fever is getting worse.’
Chaitanya Das asked in a harsh tone, ‘Then why have you people tried to deceive me into thinking that he would get better in the winter? It’s one thing to take advantage of someone’s naivety for your own benefit, but this can never be called respectable behaviour.’
Tenderly, the doctor said, ‘In these circumstances, all we can do is speculate, and speculation is never the same as the truth. It’s true that you have spent a lot of money, but I promise you that it was not my intention to deceive you.’
Shiv Das had come home for the long holidays, and it was just then that he entered the room and spoke to the doctor, ‘You can imagine what my father has been through. If his words seem accusatory, please forgive him.’
