In return, Gabby had continued to share her hopes and dreams. She told him about the paintings she’d left behind in England and how she was sure her grandfather had destroyed them. The day after that, Jonah had gone into town and returned with several canvases, paints, and art supplies. The last couple of days, she had spent hours in the upstairs loft, getting the feel for her art again. It was a heady experience to know there were no limits or boundaries she couldn’t cross. She could create anything her heart desired, and no one could take it away from her.
She had started a portrait of Jonah, but she hadn’t told him yet. Capturing him on canvas was much harder than she had anticipated. He was unique, and her feelings for him were so intertwined, that an objective rendering of his likeness seemed impossible. Whatever she painted, she wasn’t sure she would ever be able to do him justice.
“You ready?”
She nodded and stood, mentally preparing herself for another lesson. She couldn’t say she hated it. She usually ended up in Jonah’s arms at the end of the session. The part before that happened was something she wished she didn’t have to endure. She refused to stop them, though. There were definite trigger words she needed to overcome. Her initial response to the words wasn’t a problem. She reacted just the way Raiza had taught her. The problem was in the aftereffect when her legs went weak as water and she either wanted to cry or throw up. Those things had to end. Going weak after a physical attack could mean disaster or death, which was exactly why she continued to work through the problem.
Since it was raining today, they’d opted to practice in the loft. Her art supplies took up very little space, and with almost no furniture, other than a chair and lamp, which Jonah had pushed to the corner, the room was the perfect venue.
Chamo was downstairs sleeping, two closed doors separating them. On their last session, they’d learned a valuable lesson. Whoever attacked Gabby would rue the moment he lifted a finger. Even Jonah, whom Chamo adored, wasn’t allowed to raise his hand in a threatening way. Thankfully, Gabby had been able to stop the dog before he caused Jonah harm. But from then on, Chamo was far away when they practiced.
Today’s lesson could well be the hardest. A nightmare a few evenings ago had prompted a memory of the vulgar names Rudy had called her. Jonah wanted to try several of them out to see what would happen.
“Okay?”
“Yes. I’m ready.”
He came at her, as he had before. As he reached to grab her, she blocked his hand and pushed him away. He went after her again and then again, becoming more and more aggressive. She blocked, kicked, pushed, hit, did all the things she needed to do to fend off her attacker. Gabby could do this all day long.
Panting lightly, his skin covered in a slight sheen of sweat, Jonah continued to bombard Gabby with assault after assault. He was going easy on her at first, knowing from experience that she would settle into the session and handle anything he threw at her. She was incredibly talented, and it was all he could do to keep up with her sometimes. Not for the first time, he wished he’d been able to meet Raiza and thank her for what she had done for Gabby.
He wrapped his arms around her from behind. The next second, he was soaring over her shoulder, thankful for the mat that cushioned his fall. Since she knew what was coming, he had no choice but to woo her into a false sense of security. Getting her complacent and comfortable was the only way to draw out her fears.
An hour later, they were both panting heavily. “You want to take five?”
“Sounds good.” She went to the corner where they’d placed a couple of bottles of water and towels. She twisted a top off and swallowed a mouthful.
He waited until the top was back on and she was half turned away from him. Grabbing her by the arm, he growled in his most menacing voice, “Come here, bitch!”
With a shriek, she swung the bottle, slamming it into his forehead, and followed with a right punch to his jaw.
Ignoring the sting, he came at her again, this time grabbing her around the torso, the exact same way he had before. “You’re mine, whore,” he snarled.
For an infinitesimal second, she froze, and Jonah felt his heart go into his throat, worried that this had been too much. In a blink, she recovered. She slammed the back of her head against his face and simultaneously hooked her ankle around his leg, throwing him off-balance. She followed through with an elbow to his stomach and a kick to his thigh.
Jonah backed away. Panting and hurting a little more than he’d like, he waited to see what happened next. In previous sessions, she’d gotten to a certain point and hadn’t been able to continue. That didn’t happen today. Her eyes glittering with determination, she went after him full force. Jumping on him, she threw him to the floor. Her knees dug into his upper arms, and her legs wrapped around him tight, pinning him to the floor without any way to move.
Glowering down at him, she snarled, “What did you call me?”
He grinned up at her and said with all truthfulness, “The most beautiful and talented woman in the world?”
For only a moment, he saw the blank look in her eyes and knew she had been lost in a memory. She recovered quicker than he could have hoped for and said, “That’s what I thought you said,” and leaned over and kissed him full on the mouth.
Since he was still pinned and unable to do anything other than respond to her lips, Jonah put all his efforts into that kiss. His tongue swept into her mouth, thrusting and retreating. Gabby groaned and loosened her hold. Jonah took full advantage of his freedom. Wrapping his arms and legs around her, he rolled until she was beneath him.
“That’s more like it,” she whispered.
“What? You like me on top?”
“I like you any way I can get you.”
Groaning at the sheer sweetness of this woman, he proceeded to strip her from head to toe. Gabby eagerly complied, helping him as much as she could. When she was at last completely nude, he used his mouth once again, licking and kissing down her body. She tasted both spicy and sweet, of hot, willing woman. Silken limbs wrapped around him, and he wanted to devour her in one gulp. He could spend a thousand years loving her and never get enough.
Lifting her knees up, he spread her legs, all the while carefully watching her expression. Not once since their first time together had she acted remotely afraid or nervous. He would not take that for granted, though. The very thought of Gabby being afraid of him made him sick to his stomach.
The expression in her eyes and the smile on her mouth told him she had no fear, no concerns. Once she had gotten over her initial shyness with him, she had been uninhibited. Just like everything else in her life, she embraced the new experience of intimacy. She was sexy, giving. Sometimes playful, other times so incredibly sweet and innocent.
His eyes roamed from head to foot, taking in every glistening, panting, and silky inch.
“What are you doing?”
“Looking at you.”
“But why?”
He smiled, detecting a little nervousness but no fear. “Because I want to. Because I can.”
“Oh.” She sounded surprised and then raised her head slightly to look down at her own body. “So what do you think?”
He laughed. “I think you’re perfect, and I want to devour every inch of you.”
“Well, don’t let me stop you.”
Still smiling, Jonah bent lower, inhaling the heady scent of sweaty, aroused woman. He licked at her, and she gasped. His tongued delved, and she arched. His mouth opened over her, and she melted, climaxing against his tongue.
He waited until she recovered and then slid deep into her wet heat. Her face was flushed, her eyes glittered with heat and satisfaction. And that Mona Lisa smile curved her mouth.
“You look very satisfied.”
“I wonder why.”
“Want more?”
“Always.”
Jonah began a rhythm of thrusting and retreating, allowing himself to let go and enjoy the pleasure. He knew she was close again. He
could feel her inner muscles clamping on to him, pulling. He watched her face, watched her reach for the pleasure, not only taking what he gave her but demanding more. He wanted to give her everything.
Determined that they go over together this time, he placed his thumb and forefinger at the top of her sex and pinched gently. Her eyes went wide as the force of her orgasm slammed through her. As she exploded around him, he gave himself permission to let go, too. With a groan of delight, Jonah followed her into oblivion.
The sound of the rain falling outside while she was safe and secure in Jonah’s arms was a wondrous, lovely feeling. Gabby sighed with sheer happiness. She could stay like this forever.
“I guess we should get up sometime.”
The rough rumble of his voice beneath her ear made her smile. Snuggling deeper into his arms, she whispered against his neck, “Not yet.”
He grunted his approval and held her tighter.
She loved his body, his sheer masculinity. From his hairy legs to his long muscular thighs, to his tight buttocks, hard flat stomach, broad, and powerful shoulders, and every inch in between. He was all man. She could spend hours exploring him, loving him.
“I’m going to paint you.”
“Really? What color? I’m partial to lime green.”
Giggling, she pressed a kiss to his salty skin. “On canvas, silly. Your body is a work of art.”
He snorted. “When you get settled in your new life, you might want to make an appointment with an optometrist.”
“My eyes are just fine.” The mention of her new life took the smile from her face. She knew it was coming. It was what she had wanted for so long, what so many people had worked so hard to give her, but the very thought of never seeing Jonah again ripped at her like claws on the thinnest cloth.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, I just—” No. She couldn’t tell him. Not only would it completely destroy this wonderful moment with him, they had an agreement. Once her time here was over, they were over, too.
“You just what?”
“I was wondering if you ever think about starting your own business again.”
Jonah had told her that before he had uncovered evidence of his father’s illegal activities, he had planned to leave Slater Enterprises and open his own consulting firm. With degrees in both business and finance, he had, understandably, wanted to create something that was just his.
“I like what I’m doing now. Working for Justice has given me a different perspective on life. On what matters most.”
Another reason she admired this man so much. Life had slapped him down numerous times and instead of staying down, he got back up and focused on helping others. He hadn’t achieved his goal of bringing down his fiancée’s killer, but that didn’t stop him from wanting to assist other people in gaining justice.
He twisted slightly, rolling her over onto her back so he could look down at her. “What about you? Do you want to be a famous artist someday? Show your art to the world?”
“Maybe some day. Not all of it, though. I don’t think the world’s ready for a lime green Jonah Slater.”
He gave a shout of laughter and kissed her, his lips vibrating with amusement. Gabby wrapped her arms around him, laughing with him. Enjoying every precious moment, she once again allowed Jonah to carry her away to a sensuous, beautiful place that was meant for them only.
Chapter Thirty-seven
They sat on the front porch and watched the dawn break. This wasn’t the first time she’d watched the sun come up since she’d been here, but sharing the beauty with Jonah made the event more beautiful and special. Especially since this was the last sunrise they would share together.
Today was the day. Grey would arrive soon with everything she would need to begin her new life. She was doing everything in her power to act excited. Dozens of people had worked hard, not only to ensure she was able to have a new life, but that she would also stay safe. Every detail had been carefully planned so those who were still searching for her would never find her.
She was grateful. The dream she’d had for years was about to come true. She had just never anticipated that when the time came to achieve that dream, she’d want something else instead.
The porch swing was large enough to accommodate them both with room to spare, but she moved as close as she could to the man beside her. The warmth of his body penetrated the coldness of her own. She inhaled, wanting to remember his scent, a combination of masculine musk and minty freshness from his toothpaste. She leaned her head against his shoulder, savored the comfort and the hardness, wanting him more than she could have ever imagined.
She hated to feel so needy…so weak. Her strength might not have always been apparent to others, but Gabby knew what was inside her. As a woman with a strong will and excellent discipline, she told herself she shouldn’t feel this way. She was not fainthearted or a coward, so why—
She sat up as the realization hit her. No, she wasn’t cowardly, but she was definitely dense. All the vulnerabilities she’d been feeling weren’t because she was weak, they were because she was in love. For the first time in her life, she was in love and hadn’t recognized the symptoms.
“What’s wrong?”
As usual, Jonah’s gruff morning voice caused shivers throughout her body. There were so many things he did and said that could turn her on in an instant. His rare smile, his husky, even rarer laughter. The way his eyes crinkled at the corners when he was in serious thought mode. The way his hands would smooth lovingly over Chamo’s coat and the soft tender way they would glide over her own skin.
There were a million things she loved about this man, including his big heart and compassionate nature. And she was just now realizing them. It wasn’t just sexual with Jonah. There was depth to her feelings, and she had been too caught up in the heat to recognize them.
“Gabby? What’s wrong?”
She turned to him. She was once again in scary new territory, but there was no way she could keep the revelation to herself.
“I’m in love with you, Jonah.”
The regret on his face tore an immediate hole in her heart. “Gabby…no. We agreed—”
“I know what we agreed, but love doesn’t stop just because it’s inconvenient.”
“This isn’t a damn inconvenience. This is your life we’re talking about. I can’t be a part of it. You have to let go of everything you know. That includes me. There’s nothing else that can be done.”
“It can work if we both want it to work. We could see each other in secret. No one has to know about it. We don’t have to go out, be seen in public. We could meet in another city. We’ve both had covert training. There’s no reason we can’t use that for ourselves.”
“You deserve more than that.”
“But we can—”
“No. It won’t work.” He took her hand and squeezed it. “Listen, this is all new to you. This time here with you was wonderful, but it wasn’t real. You’ll have opportunities to meet other men. Once you do, you’ll forget all about me.”
In just a few short sentences, he had reduced the most wonderful moments of her life to meaningless sex and a fake romance. As if she would have fallen in love with any man who happened to be protecting her.
Torn between insult and heartbreak, she carefully moved away from him and stood. “That might be the most demeaning thing anyone has ever said to me. And believe me, I have a lot to compare it to.”
“That’s not what I intended at all. I’m just saying that you have no real experience with—”
“Stop, Jonah. You’ve had your say. Now let me have mine. I’m not an immature or silly young woman. I know my own mind and my own heart. My lack of experience has no effect on my intelligence.
“If you don’t love me, I understand, but don’t you ever put me in such a shallow, narrow box and tell me what I do or don’t feel. You obviously don’t know me as well as I thought you did.”
“I’m sorry. Hurting you is the last
thing I ever wanted.”
“Well, congratulations. You just got your last thing.”
The sound of an expensive engine heading toward them stopped her from making more of a fool of herself than she already had.
“Guess it doesn’t matter anymore,” she muttered. “Looks like my new life has arrived.”
Jonah felt like shit. While every ounce of his willpower and grit were being used not to ask her to stay with him, his brain had apparently shut down. The bullshit speech he’d just delivered had proved that. To have someone like Gabby tell him she loved him was one of the most beautiful gifts he could have imagined. She was everything good and fine. Everything beautiful. She was what life should be. What he wished his life could have been.
And what had he done but tell her that her feelings weren’t real. That wasn’t what he’d meant. Though, it was obvious she saw him as some kind of romantic hero. Her eyes lit up when he came into a room. She laughed at his stupid jokes and hung on his every word. Yes, he believed her words. Gabby wasn’t going to lie. But neither had she had a chance to live, not really. All that she’d seen of the world was what her asshole of a grandfather had allowed. She’d never had the chance to be on her own, make her own decisions.
He and Gabriella Mendoza had been thrown together by extraordinary circumstances. It only made sense that she would cling to him and see him as something special. Once she got out in the world and got another perspective, she would see things in a different way. She would eventually see him differently, too.
The idea of Gabby meeting and falling in love with another man hurt more than he’d thought possible. But his feelings didn’t matter in this. She had a new life to look forward to, and he’d damn well not mess things up by encouraging something that wouldn’t last.
Despite her obvious anger and hurt, he couldn’t stop himself from grabbing Gabby’s hand and holding it as they stood waiting for Justice to park the SUV. His boss hadn’t told him anything about Gabby’s handler, other than she had been a handler for about a year now and had successfully set up a half-dozen individuals with new lives.
Too Far Gone: A Grey Justice Novel Page 25
