But I couldn't let it be final. "That's not fair to Zack. You know it's not. He loves being there. And who's he going to play games with when you're sleeping?"
Indecision flickered across his face and I kept pushing. "I'd miss him so much." As I realized exactly how true that statement was, I said it again. "I'd miss him. I love hanging out with him. He's such an amazing kid, John."
His eyes softened. "I know he is. And he loves spending time with you."
"Please don't move, then. Please. The building won't be the same without you."
He frowned. "You're staying in it?"
"For sure. I'm comfortable there." Shane had been suggesting that I buy a house, but I had no intentions of it. Once my renovations were done the apartment would be exactly what I wanted, and I liked my neighborhood. It felt like home.
John looked like he had a million things to say, but he cleared his throat and said only, "I'll stay. Zack's had enough disruption in his life."
Relief made my eyes sting with tears, but I blinked them away. "I'm so glad."
"But I will not pay even a penny less for my rent, and I won't ever skip it. No matter what Shane thinks I should do."
The sneer in his voice on Shane's name fired me up again. "What is your problem with him?"
He laughed, with no humor. "The guy was suing you a month ago. Now you're sleeping with him."
"I'm not--"
"He's after your money. You call me stupid but at least I dumped Lacey when--"
He cut himself off.
"When what?"
He shook his head in frustration. "You know when. That damned cruise. She wanted me to get you to pay and I wouldn't and that was the end of that. I couldn't stay with her after that. But you're staying with Shane, and you watch, he'll ask you for money if he hasn't already. Probably half of your winnings. Like he sued you for."
"Stop saying that! It was his wife who sued, not him."
John rolled his eyes. "So she forged his signature on the documents? Is that what he told you?"
I stared at him. No, Shane hadn't told me that. He hadn't told me anything, because I hadn't discussed it with him. I'd been so grateful to have him back in my life, to get my life back on the path I'd wanted to be on for the majority of the last decade, that I hadn't even thought to ask. I had no idea how the suit had gotten started.
John rubbed his hand over his mouth. "I'm sorry, Angela. I don't trust the guy, but that's my problem, not yours. But... be careful, okay?"
My heart warmed at the concern in his voice, then froze solid when he added, "You can't buy back the life you wanted before."
"How could you?" I breathed. "I told you everything I'd wanted and you're using it against me like this?"
John looked horrified with himself but I didn't let him speak. I couldn't. That long talk we'd had, the day his divorce was finalized, had made me feel like I could possibly find a way to move on with my life, and now he was using it as a weapon. I didn't think anything in my life had ever hurt me more. "At least Shane isn't a gambling fool who's ruining his son's life by being too stubborn to accept help. I'm way better off with him around than with you."
John shoved his chair back, the self-hatred gone from his face and only anger there. "I won't move, because of Zack, but I will make sure I'm not around you. Trust me."
He pushed himself to his feet and stalked out of the coffee shop in his crappy boots and I looked after him and felt like everything that mattered in my life was walking out that door.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Over the next few weeks Zack didn't respond to any of my text-message suggestions that we play video games together, and he didn't talk to me whenever we encountered each other in the online game worlds. He obviously knew at least something about my fight with John, and I hated that we weren't close any more.
But I didn't know how to fix our relationship without also fixing my relationship with John and I had no clue how to do that. I did understand John's resistance to my money, sort of, but he was taking it so much further than necessary and since he wasn't talking to me either I couldn't see much chance of things changing any time soon.
Though I knew he'd hate it if he knew, I found an online credit card calculator and plugged in what little information I had about John's debt and payments. He'd said he'd tried to stick to the original minimum, and I learned that if he'd managed that every month it would 'only' have taken him nine years and an extra fifty-eight grand in interest to pay off the fifty thousand dollars he'd lost in that one night of gambling.
He'd admitted that some months he couldn't scrape up that much, though, and to my horror I discovered that if he gave up and only paid the current minimum each month it would take him over a hundred years and cost him nearly a quarter of a million dollars in interest charges to finish it off. He'd die in debt, and I knew he'd hate himself for it.
I couldn't let that happen to someone as wonderful and hard-working as John, but I couldn't see how to prevent it when he wouldn't discuss it with me.
Shane, though, kept me busy enough that I hardly had time to worry. He'd been so independent, to the point of almost ignoring me, when we'd been together the first time but now that we were moving into our new relationship he wanted to see me every day and talk to me every night before bed. I still hadn't let him sleep over, and we hadn't gone further than some intense kissing, but we did that kissing every time we were together and my body was so stirred up I was having trouble thinking about our relationship and what it all meant.
Tiff, though, was not.
I had an appointment with her three weeks after my fight with John, and Shane came along because he wanted to know, in his words, "who has control of your money". I told him that in fact I had that control, but he said it didn't sound like it to him and he wanted to meet her. I wasn't keen, but since he had met John and Zack I figured he might as well meet her too.
Though I didn't know Tiff all that well, it was clear to me that she took an immediate dislike to Shane. In her defense he made a terrible first impression, launching right away into a joking explanation about how he was there to make sure nobody took advantage of me and my newfound wealth while giving Tiff a 'don't think you can sneak anything past me' smile.
While I sat cringing, she studied him for a second like he was a small and uninteresting insect that had crawled into her office then turned to me and said, "Ready to get started?"
I nodded, glad of the distraction, and she began walking me through the final details of the apartment building purchase. Shane, fortunately, settled down and listened in silence.
After we'd finished discussing the building Tiff gave me a few more things to think about for my investment plan in June. "You can give larger sums to friends and family members at that point, of course, either outright or via some sort of trust. Buy them houses, trips... whatever you want."
I nodded. I'd received my latest postcard from my parents just that morning, and their delight in their cruise did make it tempting to send more people on their dream vacations. But I'd wait until June before I made any decisions.
"Setting up a charity foundation is also an option, and so too would be simply choosing a few charities and making large donations there. However you do the charity side, there are ways we can set up tax shelters to make sure you don't lose more than you need to to the government."
"Yeah, we want to make sure they don't steal it all," Shane put in.
Tiff gave him a look that would have made Satan wear a snowsuit. "There is no chance of the government stealing her money," she said, her strong emphasis on 'government' and 'her' making it clear who she thought might steal and whose money she thought it was. I knew she was wrong on the first part, but the money was most definitely mine and something about how Shane had worded his comment was bothering me too.
Shane's smile was innocent. "Good. Glad to hear it."
"But," Tiff went on as if he hadn't spoken, "Angela does need to pay her fair share of taxes. Of course."<
br />
"Of course," I said quickly before Shane could reply. "You've got that account set up to collect it, right, so that I don't get hit with a big tax bill all at once?"
She nodded at me. "It's right on track. Everything should be fine."
We talked a little more about my options and then she said, "Now, before you go, I have one more matter to discuss with you." Her eyes locked to mine, she added, "Just you."
"Angela tells me everything." Shane nudged me. "Don't you?"
"What she tells or doesn't tell is up to her," Tiff said coolly, "but I need to have this talk with her privately. Do we need to make another appointment for that?"
"No, it's fine," I said, feeling awkward. "Shane, would you please..."
He got up, then leaned over and kissed the top of my head. "For you, anything."
He walked out and closed Tiff's office door behind him, and she said, "I have two things, actually. First, how did John take your purchase of the building?"
I gave her a wry smile. "Probably exactly as you'd think."
She smiled back. "I was hoping not, for your sake. Is he going to move out?"
I shook my head, and her shoulders relaxed. "I'm so glad," she said. "I love knowing Zack can talk to you if he needs help during the night. I am surprised, though. I honestly thought he'd move."
I was surprised too, now. "But you still agreed I should buy the building?"
She frowned. "Of course. It's a good business decision."
"But it could have hurt Zack."
She sighed. "I know, and I didn't like that possibility, but you're my client and I couldn't advise you not to buy the building just because Zack would be alone at night. He's a resourceful kid, he'd figure something out if the need arose."
The calm rational way she discussed the idea of her only child being alone and in trouble at night shocked me, but since it hadn't actually happened I let it go. "I'm glad I'm still going to be there for him if he needs help. John, on the other hand, won't let me help him with anything at all."
She rolled her eyes and nodded. "He's a stubborn beast, that one."
I had to smile. "I told him he was stubborn. He claims not to be."
She gave a bark of laughter. "And I could claim to be the Queen of Toronto but that doesn't make it true. Poor deluded John. I was shocked, honestly, that he let you send him and Zack on that ski trip. Glad, but shocked."
"Me too," I confessed.
We smiled at each other and she said, "Well, he'll come around, hopefully, and at least he's not moving. He can't remotely afford to do that."
I grimaced. "Shane told him, in front of me, that he could just skip paying rent if he needs money. You can imagine how well that went over."
She winced. "I am obviously not happy with how John handled his gambling problem but there's no way he'd take advantage of your friendship like that."
"I know that. Shane does too, now."
Her eyes narrowed. "That's my second thing, I'm afraid. Shane. He seems awfully... 'we'... about your money."
I shook my head. "I know he said that, but he doesn't mean it like that. I think he was just nervous about meeting you. And he wasn't in on the lawsuit or anything, not really. That was all his ex-wife's idea."
She glanced down at the papers on her desk, all bearing my signature, and I knew she was thinking the same thing John had said about Shane having signed the papers to allow the lawsuit to go forward. All she said, though, was, "Well, I'm glad. I can't help feeling a little protective of you, I guess, and having this guy reappear and start acting like you two have been together forever worries me. If he makes any claims on your money, please talk to me before doing anything."
I bristled. "Don't I get to decide how to spend my money?"
My own words startled me, since they echoed Shane's before the meeting, and Tiff blinked. "Of course you do. I just meant that it might be good to give yourself a little time to think. I'd hate to see you get sucked into something. I've felt that way from the beginning, as you know. Just take your time, that's all."
I nodded, still feeling prickly but recognizing the truth of her words, and she forced a smile and said, "Well, have a good day."
"You too," I said automatically, and left the office to retrieve Shane.
When I reached his side, he jumped up from his chair and hugged me hard then let his lips graze my neck. "I have great news."
"What?" I said through the delicious shivers he was giving me.
He nipped my neck lightly. "I am a free man."
I'd expected to be thrilled when his divorce went through, and I was but I felt sort of sick too. Probably because I knew Tiff might be watching us from her office. I drew back and started toward the door to the street, and as we left the building I said, "You are?"
"Well, almost. Everything's been filed now and my lawyer says there's no way it'll fall through. And he got a clean break clause in there too."
"What's that?"
"Means she can't get any of whatever money I might get after the divorce. And I can't get any of hers. Without that clause if I got an inheritance or something she could try to claim half." He chuckled. "Getting Blair's son as her lawyer was a mistake. I don't think the kid had any idea what the clause means. But anyhow, it's done." He pulled me off the sidewalk and into his arms and murmured against my ear, "And I would very much like to celebrate in bed with you tonight. I haven't had sex in ages."
But his wife had, with Blair, and maybe with someone else too. Had Shane slept with her since she'd started cheating? "I like the idea," I said, which was physically an understatement since his lips on my ear were driving me crazy and swirling my thoughts, "but... have you been tested lately?"
He let me go and stared at me. "For... HIV and all that?"
I nodded.
He shook his head, and my heart sank. "I think," I said, "that we should wait until we've both been tested." I had been, six months ago at my regular checkup, but I figured it would sound less unkind if I included myself in the project.
He grimaced. "Can't we just use condoms?"
I shook my head. "It only takes ten to fourteen days to get the results back. I'd feel a lot more relaxed after that."
He pulled me in again. "I do want you relaxed." He nipped my earlobe. "I want you. Relaxed or otherwise. But relaxed is good."
I locked my arms around his waist. "I want you too."
He kissed me, hard and deep, then pulled away and said, "Let's go."
"Where?"
"To find a testing place. I want that ten to fourteen days to get a move on."
*****
Eleven days later, Shane and I were in my apartment, in bed, well on our way to being naked.
His mouth against my breast, he murmured, "I am so glad we both passed."
"Yeah," I gasped, one hand clutching his head against me and the other digging my nails into his back.
He came up to kiss me, and I ripped his t-shirt over his head first then lost myself in his hungry kisses and the feel of his hands on my body.
Lost myself so much, in fact, that when my phone began announcing "He shoots, he scores!" over and over I had no idea what I was hearing at first.
Shane pulled back from me, looking around for the source of the sound, and I realized what it meant, who must be calling me. One of two people.
"I haven't scored yet," Shane said, laughing and trying to kiss me again.
"No, let me up," I said, struggling to get away. "I have to get that."
"At this time of night?"
Especially at this time. A call at midnight with that ring tone could only be bad news. I managed to slither out from under Shane and raced in my underwear to the front door. I grabbed my phone from my purse mid-ring and panted, "What's wrong?"
No response.
I took a deep breath and tried again. "Hello?"
This time I heard a sniffle and a mumbled, "Um... I'm scared."
He was more than scared, from the sound of him. He was terrified, an
d it panicked me, but I said, "Zack, buddy, talk to me," trying to sound calm.
He sucked in a gasping breath and said in a quiet choked voice, "It's Dad."
Icy terror washed over me. "What's wrong with him?"
Zack burst into sobs.
"It's okay, just tell me." I hurried back to the bedroom and began digging through the tangle of discarded clothes for my bra so I could start getting dressed. "Tell me, buddy. It'll be okay, I'll help. Just tell me."
Zack sniffled again. "He... he's crying. And he won't stop."
Chapter Thirty-Seven
After sending the unimpressed Shane home, I rushed up the stairs to John's floor since the elevator was still being renovated. Poor Zack hadn't been able to say more than, "He's crying. It's my fault," over and over, but when I'd asked if he wanted me to come up the relief in his voice when he said yes had been so huge I hadn't had a choice.
Shane hadn't seen it that way, but I frankly didn't care, and when I neared John's apartment and saw Zack in his flannel pajamas holding the door open for me his tear-stained face pushed Shane completely from my mind. "Buddy," I said softly as I stepped through the doorway, "what's going on?"
He closed the door behind me and whispered, "It's my fault. I'm... an asshole."
I didn't think this was the time to worry about the kid's language. "No way."
I put my hands on his shoulders and he threw his arms around my waist like a drowning man would cling to a life preserver. "I am," he said against my collarbone. "It's all my fault."
I pulled him closer. "Is he hurt?"
Zack shook his head. "I made him cry," he mumbled, shivering.
"Whatever it is, we'll get it worked out. Where is he?"
"In the bathroom." Zack sniffled, and I looked at the closed bathroom door and wondered what to do. John couldn't possibly want me to see him cry but I couldn't leave poor Zack alone either.
"What did you say to him?"
I said it as gently as I could but Zack again shuddered in my arms. "I can't tell you," he whimpered. "I'm such a jerk."
"You aren't. Not at all. I need your help, though, buddy. What do you want us to do?"
Toronto Collection Volume 3 (Toronto Series #10-13) Page 98
