The low murmur of voices on his TV screen followed by the rat-a-tat-tat of space battles courtesy of Battlestar Galactica. The show normally commanded his full attention, but on nights like this, regular distractions weren’t up to snuff. His chip weighed down his pocket, the one thing keeping him from bolting up the street to the liquor store before it closed. Liv’s presence calmed him, even if they just sat together quietly. However, here in the empty silence of his apartment, his urges multiplied like the shadows.
He continued his pacing, wearing a path into the pale wooden floorboards. As much as he wanted to burn off this energy with a run, he worried that the second he stepped outside his apartment he’d be running straight for a six-pack. Earlier today he’d agreed to be Liv’s boyfriend, and now here he stood in the same mess as always, a piece of shit whose impulses dominated him.
Liv deserved so much better than a guy who wrestled with these demons daily. She deserved someone who could give her a wide-open future, not an ex-con with a rap sheet and an eternal battle against the allure of alcohol. Yet when she flashed him that pristine smile and offered a softness past the sharp edges, he couldn’t turn her down. He might be a monster, but even someone as fucked up as he was couldn’t bear to break her heart.
A knock pounded on his door.
Zane snapped to attention, running his hand through his thick mane. He didn’t have close friends who’d be paying him any surprise visits, at least not anymore. When he’d started the path to recovery, he ousted all of his bar friends from his life. Which left two people. Either his sponsor had become psychic and able to sense his spirals, or the woman who’d dominated his thoughts as of late had shown up on his doorstep.
He made his way to the door, anticipation building at the idea of her on the other side. At the hope that maybe she’d felt the same loneliness—maybe she understood what so few did.
A second knock sounded right as he pulled his door open.
Liv stood in the canary yellow swing dress she’d worn earlier today, the one that made her pale skin glow and lit her sparkling blue eyes like a fucking ray of sunshine. Except the grim twist of her mouth and the anger now burning in those eyes spelled all sorts of bad news, stopping him cold.
“What’s wrong?” Worry swept through him, not helping the pulsing urge to drink his troubles away.
As her eyes locked with his, those blues melted. “Can I come in?” she asked, her voice quieter than her normal loud, brashness.
Zane guided her inside. “What happened?” he asked. Hand in hand, they headed towards his ratty couch where Battlestar Galactica still blared on the screen.
She lifted a brow. “Since when did you start watching sci-fi?” she asked. “You used to tease me so bad about my Farscape obsession.”
He couldn’t help his grin as he turned the TV off. “I might’ve been needling you for fun. Can’t help it babe. The way you got all indignant had me smitten back then.” Despite the easy way they chatted, an undercurrent of tension hung between them. Whatever brought her to his door had her riled up something fierce, and stirring an urge to smack the shit out of who or whatever caused the upset.
“I needed out of my house,” she admitted, her fingertips digging into her thighs. “I had a welcome party waiting for me when I got back, one who welcomed me right out the door.
“Oh?” he asked, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. The moment their skin touched, she relaxed.
Liv let out a sigh as she gave him a sideways glance. “If I tell you, promise you’re not going to flip your shit or pull some martyr act on me?”
Like the woman could read his mind. Zane lifted a hand to the air. “I solemnly swear to keep my mouth shut.” Whatever was going on with her right now, she needed someone to listen judgment-free.
“Lex and Tessa ganged up on me with their ‘concerns’ about us dating,” she started. Zane’s internal temperature took a nosedive, but he kept his expression blank. Fuck, talk about the one person he couldn’t face, had never been able to face after that night. Of course, Lex would want him to stay far away from his sister; he’d made his opinion crystal clear. As for Tessa, once he found out her best friend was a cop, he could guarantee the woman would be warning Liv away.
Liv’s eyes flashed as she met his gaze. “Don’t think for a heartbeat I’m going to listen to them.” The strength behind her words struck straight to the core of him, to the voice inside his head who agreed with Lex and Tessa—he was a monster, no good, and unworthy of even a fraction of Liv’s affections. He scratched at his forearms, unable to help himself at the sheer coating of self-loathing that settled over him.
“Don’t know,” he said, unable to keep the bitterness out of his voice. “I think most folks would agree tangling with an ex-con alcoholic can only end in flames.”
“Well then, those folks are judgmental assholes,” Liv spat. “You’re more than a fucking label, Z. You’re an amazing chef, a mediocre bassist, and you’ve got this dorky way of scratching the back of your head whenever you talk about anything personal, which isn’t often, but holy hell is it cute. I know you way better than any of those folks casting stones do, and I adore everything you are, Zane Parata.”
She may as well have cold-cocked him. His grip on the couch tightened at the fury in her voice, at the strength of her convictions. Liv was willing to go to war beside him, to go into the trenches and fight with him against those demons, and hell on earth if that didn’t mean everything.
She sat in front of him, her blue eyes flashing, her manicured brows furrowed, and those scarlet lips simmering—she’d never been more beautiful. As the silence between them spread, some of her anger dimmed, and a flash of hesitation crossed her features. Zane reached out to squeeze her hand, realizing his lack of response had brought about the awkward silence.
“I never forgot you,” he confessed, the words spilling out before he could rein them back in. “When they hauled me away to prison, during my time in the joint, and even after—memories of you were the one bright spot in my shit life. I never dreamed in a thousand years we’d reconnect or that we’d get a second chance. But Liv, I need you to know, the way I feel for you is unparalleled. I’ve never experienced a depth of connection so profound before, and I doubt I ever will again.”
Her grip tightened around his, and their eyes locked, intentions clear in the air between them. This wasn’t a confused or distant silence, but one loaded with the storm of emotions that had become their currency.
They stood upon a precipice, ready to dive deeper. Zane’s muscles stretched taut, his breath came faster, and the itch returned under his skin—but this time it was a desire for her that had percolated from the second they locked eyes in Cupid’s Café and not the desperate need for the bottle.
He leaned forward, gently taking her face in his hands as he lowered his lips to hers. Each motion was slow and deliberate. He kept his eyes on hers and saw his own wants and needs reflected back at him.
The moment their lips brushed against each other, he ignited like a lit match tossed to gasoline. The passion and fury he’d been restraining unleashed. She moaned against his mouth, the sound traveling straight south to rev his engines. He brought one hand down to grip her waist tight, those curves of hers making him grow harder.
Her fingers curled into his hair, her possessive tug making him want to mount her right then and there. With the ferocious brew of longing, he knew he couldn’t handle another night of blue balls. His fingers bunched the flimsy fabric of her dress, the heat from her body making him crave the inferno they could create.
He kissed her again, and again, tasting her lips still swollen from their tangle earlier the night sharpening those desires, giving them a pulsing drive neither of them could ignore any longer.
Liv pulled back, causing his chest to strain with disappointment. Her lipstick was smudged, and her tongue traveled across her upper lip as her eyes gleamed with molten desire. “Z, I want you. Tonight.”
He arched a brow, d
espite the way his erection throbbed at her words, at the lust coursing through his veins with every breath. She jutted her chin forward with a ferocious stubbornness coming to fore, no words necessary. He knew better than to try and stifle those flames, and he welcomed the burn, welcomed the blaze until it devoured him whole.
He ran a thumb across her lip, enjoying the way she shivered under his touch. Even though the worry of her freezing up and lashing out again surged, tonight, they were ready to take the risk. Tonight, she wouldn’t race out his door in a panic. Whatever happened, they’d push through together.
“God, you’re fucking gorgeous, Livs,” he whispered against her mouth. She licked her lips, the shared breath between them one spark away from explosion. He drank in the sight of her, the freckles sprinkled along her nose, her stubborn chin, and those too-expressive eyes that kept her from hiding her feelings.
She leaned forward to press those perfect lips against his, igniting his desire. The taste of her mouth couldn’t sate him—he wanted to lick and suck every inch of her creamy skin. But he wasn’t about to repeat his mistakes of the last time they’d tangled together. He knew her wrists were off limits, after the way she reacted last time. And every step of this, he wanted to let her take control, because after the hell she’d been through, she needed it.
“As much as I want to fuck you right here on my couch,” he murmured, “I can think of more inventive ways to take you on my bed.”
She bit his lower lip, the territorial claim traveling straight to his cock. Not wasting a moment more, Zane wrapped his arms around her waist and hoisted the both of them up from the couch. She let out a loud squeak as they rose, her eyes dancing with amusement while she twined her legs around his hips. He was used to lifting weights far heavier than her, and he carried her with ease to the bedroom.
The feel of her lithe body pressed against his, her fevered breaths rising in anticipation, and how the gleam in those alluring eyes of hers sent him into sensory overload. He nudged open the door to his bedroom, dipping down to brush his lips against hers, desperate for the honeyed taste.
The dim lamp on his dresser spilled amber beams by his bed. He crashed them down against his rumpled sheets in a tangle of limbs. A bright laugh burst from her lips at the sudden movement, and he silenced her with another kiss to her mouth. The insistent pulse of his erection made him want to drive into her over and over and over again, but he didn’t want to scare her away again. He wanted to watch her melt, wanted the wariness that shadowed her movements banished from this room.
Rather than heading for her mouth again, he prowled downward.
Zane pressed a kiss between her collarbone and lower, trailing down the front of her. He watched her reactions as he moved, enjoying the way she arched under his every touch. His erection felt heavy between his legs while he continued his descent, his lips scraping against the cotton of her dress. Her skirt, rumpled and half kicked-up, exposed the creamy thighs he wanted to sink his teeth into.
He skated his hand along her thigh before he moved off the bed, watching as her lashes fluttered from the touch. Gripping her hips, he tugged her to the edge, and hunger gleamed in her eyes. His mouth watered as the movement shifted the fabric of her dress higher up those gorgeous legs. His fingertips slid under the lacy elastic waistband of her panties, and she arched her hips up in response.
“I want to taste you so badly,” he murmured as he settled between her thighs. Her legs tensed at his words, and he hesitated for a moment, unsure.
“Please, Z,” she moaned, urging him onward. Her plea traveled straight to his cock, galvanizing him to action. He pressed his lips against the inside of her thigh, enjoying her enthusiastic response and continuing up as he licked and sucked the tender skin. She trembled in anticipation, her hands balling into fists at her side, and her loud cries encouraged him further. He slipped the panties from her in one quick sweep, revealing her drenched pussy. His tongue slid across his lips as he salivated at the sight.
Zane angled himself in front of her and dipped forward, the tip of his tongue gliding ever so slightly against her pink clit. Her hips bucked at the motion, and he couldn’t resist a grin as he descended again, this time devouring her. She moaned, her thighs tensing around him as he flicked his tongue against her clit over and over. Her fingertips dug into the sheets. He slipped his tongue inside her and began fucking her with his mouth.
Liv froze at first, and Zane almost pulled away, but a second later she relaxed against him as he thrust his tongue to a quicker rhythm. Her moans pierced the air, banishing the shadows, filling the silence, and turning him on more than ever. He leaned back, returning to her clit again, and he stroked his tongue up and down, faster and faster, as she writhed beneath him.
Her heels dug into the mattress, her hips tilting forward as she bucked against him, desperate to come. Zane didn’t retreat, didn’t relent, wanting to push her over the edge, dying to see her release.
“Oh god, Z,” she screamed out, hips bucking forward, and thrust her pussy in his face. Her thighs clenched around him as she came, her whole body tightening for a moment until she released like a wet rag. Liv sank into the bed, the skirt of her dress hiked up, a flush on her cheeks and her lowered lashes hooded with desire.
“Holy hell,” she murmured. “Where did you pick up those sorts of skills?”
He couldn’t help but smile. “Without alcohol, I had to find other ways to fill my time. You like?”
She wrinkled her nose, nudging his shoulder with her toes. “You’re ridiculous.”
He prowled up the bed to lean beside her, inches away. She cast a lazy, satisfied glance to him, all the tension and rage from earlier vanished. Since they’d reconnected, he hadn’t seen her so loose-limbed and easy. Zane brushed a couple of teal curls off her face, swiping his thumb over her swollen lips.
“Ready to come for me again?” he murmured in her ear, causing her to shiver. Liv looked at him, her blue eyes full of the care and concern he’d longed for on too many nights, even if he didn’t deserve a second of that tenderness.
She pushed herself up from the bed, her expression lighting as she dipped down to brush her lips against his. “Only if you’re inside me.”
11
Liv licked her lips at the notion of stripping Zane down. She hovered over him, too aware of the outline of his erection along his pants. Her whole body flushed at the thought of having that length inside her, of crossing that step with the one man she’d always longed for. Her palms pressed into the wrinkled sheets on his bed, and she savored the scent of sweat, of sage and smokes, of him.
He stared at her with this yearning that made her feel like she wasn’t alone. Zane always looked at her with wonder in his eyes, despite the wicked curve of his eyebrows and the sinful curl of his lips. All his time at the gym earned him the sort of toned muscles she wanted to run her fingers across, and she was dying to sink her teeth into his bronzed skin. Her body had turned to jelly after the way he’d made her come, but as she leaned over top of him with a mere inch separating their bodies, desire flared through her once more.
She dipped down and sank her teeth into the side of his neck. The puff of hot air by her ear in response and the way he slid his hands around her hips gave her the nudge to keep exploring, licking and sucking her way to his collarbone. Liv latched onto his tee and tugged upward. Zane shrugged the shirt off, revealing delicious abs that made her salivate. She raked her fingernails down the front of them, appreciating the way his hips tilted forward with the motion.
Through every move she made, his eyes never left her. The soft amber light from the lamp enhanced the proud curve of his nose, and those sensual lips she loved to kiss. His mane of dark hair tumbled around his face in wild waves, making her want to run her fingers through it. Liv began to inch his zipper down, her core pulsing with an intense longing for him to fill her to completion. His fingers curled around the knot keeping her halter dress up.
“Fair play, beautiful,” he mur
mured as he undid the knot in one swift motion. The straps fell, and the whole front of her dress tumbled down, exposing her breasts. Her nipples pebbled as they hit the air, tightening so hard they hurt. Zane’s hungry gaze swept over her. She shimmied out of her dress, kicking it to the floor, while he shucked his jeans off. Her body prickled with awareness as she slid over him, the delicious feeling of skin against skin making her delirious.
The tendons of Zane’s neck protruded, and the grip around her hips kept tightening. Even though the Zane she knew was the kind of guy who’d be straining at the seams to take charge right now, he didn’t push. After the way things ended on their first try, he was giving her control when it counted most. If she adored him before, this made her fall even harder for him.
She took in a shaky breath, summoning the courage to try again. Last time, she’d wanted to surrender herself in the feelings threatening to consume her. Here and now, she wanted to remember every second of this. Zane Parata imprinted on her in a way she’d never forget, no matter what their future held. He’d offered her hope, strength, and a reason to fight once more.
Her core throbbed with need for him, her folds drenched. The way his silken cock slid against the inside of her thigh drove her crazy with desire. His hands glided across her skin as he caressed her breasts, her waist, until those heavy palms rested on her hips like they belonged there. Liv pressed a kiss on his lips, the tips of her nipples skating against the smooth surface of his abs, the slight touch traveling straight to her core.
The heat between them turned molten, the air tensing as she pressed against him harder, a moan slipping from her. Zane trailed a fingertip along the shell of her ear, even the slight motion jolting her with a lust she couldn’t deny any longer.
Captured Memories: Cupid’s Cafe, Book Three Page 8
