She examined his burns and determined that most of them were first degree with some second degree. The total mass of burns was concerning, so she dressed as many as she could, started an IV and gave him medication.
Each room held its own disturbing picture. Anna dealt with it the way she’d learned: one at a time. Compartmentalized. If she allowed herself to think of all the patients at once, she wouldn’t be able to stand.
“How do you do this?” Nico was helping her with bandages. There was only one nurse at the hospital, and she was working on the less critical cases. No one else could stomach being in the rooms with the smells and sight of burnt flesh. They were on their third burn victim, who was also unconscious.
“I take it one patient at a time. I stay in the moment. My heart cried in the last room. I’m going to grieve for this one now because I don’t think she’ll make it.”
“And when you walk out of the room, will you think about this?”
She shook her head. “I expend my emotions when I’m with the patient so when I leave, I have something left to give the next patient. I have to compartmentalize.”
“How do you do that?”
“It’s a learned skill. I’ve been working one disaster after another for the past five years. In Liberia, nearly all my patients died. My mentor there taught me how to be compassionate without losing myself.”
“Is that what you did with me and Lucas? Compartmentalized us?”
Her head snapped up.
“Not a day has gone by when I haven’t thought of Lucas.”
“Then why haven’t you been back?”
Because being here makes me want to bury myself with my son. She wished she could have left Lucas and Nico on Guam, but she carried them with her wherever she went.
She went back to bandaging the wound.
“I blame myself too. I blame myself for letting you do the surgery. Not because it didn’t go well, but because I know you will never let go of the responsibility. I knew that when you made that first cut, that no matter what happened, you would never be the same.”
“You would’ve let him die.”
“Not because I wanted to, but because that was his fate.”
Her hands were trembling too much to continue with bandaging. “It wasn’t his fate. It was this island. If we were in California, he’d be getting ready to go to kindergarten.”
“Sometimes, Anna, you have to accept what befalls you.”
“And sometimes, Nico, you have to take control of your life and leave the man who refuses to do what’s right for his family. You are not responsible for righting every wrong your father did.”
They’d had this conversation before, said the same hurtful words to each other, and yet it seemed they couldn’t stop. She took a deep breath and looked at her watch. Three hundred and seventeen hours before she could leave.
They finished attending to the rest of the patients in silence. She asked for a chart at the nursing station so she could document what she’d done. While the normally painstaking medical notation was often forgone in disasters, Anna wanted to leave a treatment plan for whichever nurse or physician came in next. The hospital had a working helipad, which meant rescue organizations might be able to transport patients off island to the Philippines or Hawaii for further care.
When Lucas had been diagnosed, the commercial airline pilots were on strike so there had been no outbound flights. They’d waited for a month but there was no sign of the strike resolving. That’s when she’d begun researching other means of transport. With her mother’s and sister’s help, she’d cobbled together the money to hire a private helicopter. By then it had been too late. A storm system had come in, making helicopter flight impossible. Lucas had gotten worse and time ran out.
“You must be Anna.”
She looked up to see a pretty young woman with dark hair and dark, luminous eyes.
“Have we met?”
The woman shook her long, lustrous hair. “I’m Maria.”
The name was obviously supposed to mean something, but Anna couldn’t place it. Then it hit her. Nico’s new girlfriend. Her throat closed.
“You’re Nico’s...” She couldn’t choke out the words.
Maria nodded. “Fiancée.”
They’re already engaged?
“Well, almost fiancée. We haven’t made it official yet—he wanted to make sure things were squared away with the divorce.”
Maria was sucking up all the air in the room. Anna looked around to see if there was anyone who could save her. A patient crisis, another tsunami, anything?
“I see you’ve met Maria.” Nico appeared and put an arm around Maria. She smiled adoringly at him like he was her teenage crush. Then realization struck.
“Wait, are you the same Maria he went to high school with?”
They both nodded and Anna felt sick to her stomach. Nico’s second cousin, who had also gone to the same school, had told her all about the girl Nico dated who had moved away in their junior year. While Nico had been nonchalant when he described the relationship, his cousin told her that Nico had long considered Maria to be the one that got away.
“My parents moved us to Hawaii when I was sixteen, but once I got my master’s degree in administration, I decided to come home and work here.”
“Maria is our hospital administrator. She came back to do some good for the island.” The pride in Nico’s voice made Anna feel like a three-year-old whose lollipop had been taken away. She wanted to hit the other woman. Of course Maria was his childhood love who had returned home to make the island a better place while Anna would continue to be the white woman who’d left her husband for her own selfish reasons.
Maria snuggled against his arm, then turned to Anna. “I want to thank you for going to see Congresswoman Driscoll-Santiago.”
Anna looked up in surprise. She didn’t know anything had come of all the conversations she’d had with the congresswoman about supporting more medical infrastructure for the island.
Anna had met the congresswoman when she was Kat Driscoll, a professor who had recently discovered that she was the secret daughter of a powerful senator. At the time, Anna had set up a meeting with the senator’s chief of staff, Alex Santiago, to make a plea for funding for Guam. Alex had rebuked her, but Kat, who was a silent witness to the meeting, had come up to her afterward to ask for more details.
Eventually, Kat had become a congresswoman—and married Alex. Kat’s chief of staff was her half-sister, Vickie Roberts. Vickie was the one who often called Anna to get specific information about Guam on Kat’s behalf.
“That’s how we got this hospital built so fast and were able to buy state-of-the-art equipment. The congresswoman got us special federal funding. Ironically, it was disaster preparedness funds. She came here to tour the island last year and emphasized that you were the one who compelled her to do something.”
“I didn’t do much, I just brought the issue to her attention,” Anna said shyly, thrilled that Kat had actually kept her promise. She made a mental note to send the congresswoman a thank-you note. Kat had invited Anna on that trip to Guam, and Anna had flatly refused, ending their conversation awkwardly. Since then, their relationship had cooled and Anna was afraid she’d offended the congresswoman.
Nico cleared his throat. “I’ve been meaning to thank you too, Anna. It escaped my mind with everything going on.”
Maria slapped him playfully. “Nico, I can’t believe you. It’s the first thing you should have said when you showed her this building. I bet he went on and on about how he built this place with the best stuff and that’s why it’s still standing.” She gave Anna a conspiring look. “Isn’t that just like him?”
Anna’s stomach churned. “I should check on the other patients.”
“I’ll take you to the next unit,”
Nico said quickly.
As Anna stepped out from the nursing station that had separated them, Maria came and gave her a hug. “I’m so glad to meet you. I know you’ve been a big part of Nico’s life, so you will always have a place in my heart. Will you please let me make you dinner one night?”
Is she kidding? Who invites the not-so-ex-wife to dinner? Anna searched for malice in Maria’s eyes but all she saw was an open invitation. Maria was exactly the kind of woman Nico should be marrying. She shared his generous heart and his Chamorro hospitality.
“Thanks for the offer, but I’ll be leaving in thirteen days and there’s a lot to do between now and then.”
Maria began to protest but Nico gently dissuaded her and walked out with Anna. The tense silence stretched between them until Nico finally broke it.
“Our wedding date is set for one month from now. As soon as I can, I’ll get you those divorce papers.”
CHAPTER FIVE
JUST WHEN NICO thought the day couldn’t get any worse, Uncle Bruno showed up. Nico had tried to keep the older man away from where Anna was tending to patients but once Bruno had seen her enter the hospital, the man was on a mission.
“You listen, boy, I don’t want your head turned again. Maria is a good girl. Your mama only has a good year or two left in her. I don’t want you wasting them chasing that woman again.”
“Uncle B, less than an hour ago you were greeting her like she was your long-lost daughter.”
“Of course. What do you want? I should be rude to her? She was family—technically still is since you’re too much of a sissy to get the divorce done.”
Nico pinched the bridge of his nose. He loved his maternal uncle but Bruno had become quite insufferable since Aunt Mae’s death and his mother’s diagnosis. Bruno’s anxiety was easy to understand. Nico’s mother had five siblings. One had died in a car crash and two others had moved away to the mainland. They came home once a decade. Most of their children had also moved away as well; Nico hadn’t seen his cousins in more than twelve years. Bruno and Mae’s two daughters were living in Oregon and Washington. While they came to visit their father once a year, both were increasingly “westernized,” as Bruno called it. Nico knew that he was effectively Bruno’s only family. He and Maria had talked about the fact that they might one day have to take care of Bruno when he became too old to live by himself. It was a conversation he could never have had with Anna.
“What do you want me to do? Wave a magic wand and get the internet working so I can get to my files? On a good day we don’t have a reliable connection.”
“You can build this whole hospital but you can’t get the internet working?”
Nico sighed and threw up his hands. “Uncle B, I got work to do.”
Bruno grabbed his arm. “Listen, Nico, I see the way you look at her and I understand it. It’s how I felt about Mae. But Anna is going to break your heart again, just like your father did to your mother. The white folks never stay. They come here and see the glittering shops and beach resorts and think that’s what life will be like for them. Then they realize that us locals don’t live like that.”
How many times had Nico endured that lecture? Everyone knew the tired old story of how his father swept his mother off her feet, married her with a promise to build a life together, then abandoned her when she was several months pregnant. Nico’s father had been a marine stationed on the island, and he simply left when he was reassigned. Teresa Atao hadn’t even had a chance to change her maiden name. Divorce papers were sent before Nico was born.
When Nico fell in love with Anna, the family was up in arms, worried that history would repeat itself. And it had. He knew that Bruno and his mother were close, and her pain over his father’s betrayal anguished Bruno’s heart, but the knowledge didn’t make his uncle any less difficult to deal with.
“I will get those papers signed. It’s a good thing she’s here. She’s met Maria, she knows where things stand with me. Don’t worry.”
Bruno heaved a sigh of relief. “Good. I don’t want her destroying your happiness again.”
“I won’t.” Anna’s voice cut through the air like a machete.
He really should stop asking whether the day could get worse. Apparently, it was careening downhill. How long had she been standing there?
“How could you think I mean him harm? I will not stand in the way of his happiness.”
Okay, so she’d heard the worst of it.
“Nico, if the internet is what you need, the field hospital has a satellite connection. I’ll ask the clerk to help you when we get back. The sooner we get this over with, the better it will be for everybody.” She looked pointedly at Bruno.
“Oh, Anna, don’t be mad at me.” Bruno gave her one of his cuddly, toothy smiles. “You’re well aware this boy needs a kick in the pants to get something done. You are a lovely girl and will make someone a very good wife—”
“I’ll make a white man a very good wife, right?”
Nico flinched at the hostility in her voice and noticed Bruno did too.
“Anna, Bruno is a Chamorro-ist, you know that.”
Although she tried to hide it, he could see the hint of a smile on her face. It was a term she had come up with to describe his friends and relatives who constantly berated the non-Chamorro people of the island. They were the ones paranoid about their culture being washed away by the increasing presence of tourists and foreigners on the island.
“You two go ahead and make fun of this old man—my poor Mae is rolling in her grave seeing how you treat me these days.”
Nico rolled his eyes and patted his uncle good-naturedly. Even Anna’s face softened. He grabbed her elbow and led her away before the situation ignited again.
“Don’t mind Uncle Bruno, you know how he is.”
“It’s not just him—your entire family always looked at me that way, like I would get up and leave any day. And I guess I did.” Her voice was thick and a heavy sorrow weighed on his heart. He knew it hadn’t been easy for her in the beginning, but they’d built a home together. With Aunt Mae’s help, she had settled into his culture, and he thought she’d embraced it. Had she always felt like an outsider in his home?
“For what it’s worth, that’s not what I thought.” He peered deep into her eyes. The previous anger was gone, replaced by desperation so intense, it touched his soul. His arms automatically lifted to pull her close to him, but he let them drop back to his sides. Maria had been very patient with him. It was time to move on with his life, give his family some closure too. They had moped with him for five years. Nana had consoled him when he’d cried for Lucas, encouraged him when it seemed the hospital would never get built. The entire community had rallied around him. Anna had left of her own volition, and she hadn’t come back. She had never shared in his dreams.
“I have no intention of standing in the way of your happiness with Maria.”
“I know that.”
“I’ll sign the papers. You can have anything you want—the house in Tumon...whatever. We’ll get them printed and signed today so it’s done.”
The lady doth protest too much.
“You’re right about the house. We should sell it and split the profits,” he said.
Is it just me or does she look disappointed?
“You bought the house, you should get the money from it.”
Why was she being so forceful? Was it that she wanted nothing to do with him and Guam? Including any money that came from the house they’d literally built together?
“How about we go to Tumon when that road gets cleared up and then decide how to split it. If the house is totaled, it’ll be a check from the insurance company made out to both of us.”
She seemed to consider his proposal, then nodded slowly. He released a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. The house
was yet another item on his to-do list. After they were married, Maria was going to move into his mother’s house with him, so they could take care of her. Bruno and Tito had kept up the house in Tumon ever since Anna’s departure. Nico had been dreading making a decision on it. Maria had offered to go out there with him several times, but it didn’t seem right to take her. He and Anna would know what to do. Together.
The next hour went by quickly as Anna dealt with the less seriously injured patients. Nico had never really seen her in action like this. He watched the way she took care of people, assuring them they would be okay while dealing with the most gut-wrenching injuries.
He was exhausted after seeing the burn patients, despite being the one who’d brought them in from the field and knowing what to expect. Anna had walked in cold and not once had he seen her recoil like the tough-as-nails men who had carried the victims to the hospital. Anna always had been bulletproof. One of the many reasons he’d fallen for her. Without question, she was the great love of his life, the kind the legends talked about. Most people never felt this kind of love, and he considered himself lucky to have had it. But now it was time to be a responsible man and take care of his family; a family Anna didn’t want to be a part of.
“Do you have your mother’s chart handy? I can review it.”
He hadn’t asked, but of course she’d offered. Pointing to a computer terminal, he led her there. “Maria insisted that we have our electronic medical records that are backed up on servers in a fire-and waterproof room in addition to off-site data storage. We were able to restart our servers and find a machine that hasn’t been damaged. I’ll have a clerk type in all the handwritten notes you’ve left on the patients.”
Her eyes widened in surprise and his chest bloomed with pride. For their entire marriage, she had been the more accomplished one; she was more educated, made a better salary, had more prospects than he did. She never let him feel it, but it was always there. He hadn’t left the island to go to college. His degree in architecture meant a lot to him, but it wasn’t from a prestigious university like hers. And it was just a bachelor’s degree. He’d never earn as much money as she did. This hospital was his legacy, and he wanted her to be proud of it. That was why he’d begged Linda Tucker to send Anna with him today. He knew she would never have come of her own volition.
Mending the Doctor's Heart Page 5
