“That was the night Rowen told me he wasn’t my father. You read the letter. You had to have wondered what my mama meant. You’re not stupid, Stanzy, so don’t play dumb with me.”
“It wasn’t the time to ask. Why are you so angry with me?”
“It never is with us! It’s never the fucking right time for anything we do! We’re a fucking mess. It’s always the wrong time, or wrong place, or one of us is engaged.” I glare at her thinking back to that stupid hashtag and pictures of her with Chipper.
“Or one of us has a psychotic ex-girlfriend,” she finally snaps back at me referring to Tori.
“Nothing’s ever easy for us! And you’re right. It’s not the time to discuss it.”
“Yeah, let’s just put it off some more. What’s another seven years?” She glares at me with those hazel eyes, a storm swirling. Years of anger and hurt feelings being pushed to the forefront finally, by both of us.
“Jessup?” a deep male voice interrupts us.
We turn to face the man who is interrupting our very public therapy session.
“Uncle Joey?”
Stanzy looks as confused as I feel.
“I’m Joe, Rowen’s brother,” he introduces himself to Stanzy.
She shakes his hand. “Stanzy.” She introduces herself in return and shakes his hand.
Joseph Rhodes, Rowen’s older brother and former NFL tight end, is standing in front of me in a nicely tailored three piece suit, looking like a million bucks. Life has treated Uncle Joey well.
From what we were told growing up, Rowen’s parents never gave a shit about him. Joey was the favorite, the golden boy, and their parents sank all their money into him and his future. That’s why he made it to the NFL and Rowen didn’t. It had nothing to do with the fact that Joey was the most athletically gifted of the Rhodes boys and didn’t have an excessive drinking habit.
Joey is about six-two and still fit for being in his late fifties, possibly early sixties. I don’t know how much older he is than Rowen. Sandy hair and blue eyes, but his skin isn’t as pale as Rowen’s. That’s probably just because Rowen never leaves his fucking recliner unless he’s going to a bar or the dealership. The sun isn’t his friend.
“It’s good to see you, Jessup.”
“You too, Joey.” I shake his hand firmly. Joey was my favorite uncle and it wasn’t even close between him and their other two brothers, Dennis and Carl.
Joey would visit as much as he could when he was playing in the NFL and I looked forward to every visit. We’d play catch, he’d take me to buy a new toy and clothes for school which pissed Rowen off to no end. He was the “funcle” or fun uncle in the family.
I followed his career from when he was drafted by the Titans to when he retired with the San Francisco 49ers after brief stints in Kansas City and Houston.
When I was about eight he and Rowen had a knockdown, drag out fight in our front yard. We never saw Uncle Joey after that, but he sent me a card every year on my birthday and Christmas. Rowen would destroy them if he saw them first, but Mama tried to sneak them from the mailbox before he could. Rowen was always jealous of Joey.
Last I knew he was still living near San Francisco.
“How are you holding up?”
“Umm, I’m going to go home and leave you two to talk.” Stanzy interrupts us quietly, flashes me an uncomfortable smile and leaves me alone with my Uncle Joey. I guess he’s not really my uncle anymore since I’m not Rowen’s son.
I stare at her back until she’s out of sight, not knowing what to do because I’m angry and I feel betrayed right now. But I know I don’t want her to walk away from me for good again. We have a lot to discuss.
To be continued, Stanz.
I turn my attention back to Joey. “I’m good. How are you?”
“I’m good, Jess. Say, can we go get a drink or something?”
A drink or fifteen sounds amazing right now. This would be the time for it, off the wagon and numbing my pain again.
Nope, as angry as I am I want a fresh start with Stanzy at some point. I can’t fuck it up now.
“I’m sober, Uncle Joey.”
“Good for you kid. Glad you’re not following in Rowen’s footsteps.”
“What’s wrong with my footsteps?” Rowen’s voice snakes into our conversation. “Get the fuck out of here, Joe. No one wants you here. You’re ruining Jacqueline’s day.”
“I’m sure Jac would want me here,” Joey says to Rowen and I see Rowen’s jaw flex.
Jac? I’ve never heard anyone refer to my mama by that name.
“Don’t call her Jac. She didn’t like that name,” Rowen says through clenched teeth. There’s definitely still tension between these two.
“Sure thing, Ro. Keep telling yourself that,” Joey says with a smirk. “Here kid,” he says and hands me his business card. “Call me when you’re ready to chat.”
With that Joey walks out of the church.
“Don’t you dare fucking call him,” Rowen seethes as he tries to grab the business card out of my hand, but I’m quicker than he is. Securing the card in my suit coat pocket.
Anger is radiating off of him in waves. This anger is different than the drunken mess he was when he came home from the bar. This anger is raw and deep.
“Since when do you think you get to tell me what to do?” I turn and exit the church. I’ve successfully avoided him up to this point. I don’t plan to waste any more time on him than that.
I wish it was raining instead of a beautiful winter day in Georgia. I’d welcome the opportunity to sulk in weather that matched my mood. But no, it’s sunny, the temperature is a warm sixty-two.
My mother is dead and I have a diary to read. Rowen is still a prick. Joey is back in town. Stanzy is mad at me again, or am I mad at her? She told her parents my darkest secrets. I have the right to be mad, right? Fuck, I can’t even remember anymore.
I look up to the sky and say, “Mama, why is this all happening? Is this a sign or some shit cuz I need you to make it a little clearer what I’m supposed to do here.”
I stroll by myself toward the cemetery behind the church where mama will be laid to rest soon and wait for everyone else.
My phone vibrates in my pocket which alerts me to a text message. It’s Blake.
“How you doing, bro?”
“You have impeccable timing. Burying my mama in ten minutes.”
“Just wanted to make sure you’re surviving the visit home.”
“Yeah, only one run in with Rowen. All good. I’ll text you when it’s over.”
“Stanzy there?”
“She left, but she was here.”
“Don’t fuck it up.”
“Piss off.”
“You already fucked it up, didn’t you?”
“Seriously, piss off. I’m at a funeral.”
“Sorry about your mom, bro.”
“Thanks.”
I tuck my phone back in my pocket. Does Blake have some weird best friend intuition or am I just prone to fucking up relationships?
I need a drink, now.
Chapter 28: Stanzy
“What were you thinking?” I practically shout at my dad who is sitting on the couch in their living room. I’ve never raised my voice to my parents before, but I’m so angry I feel like my head is going to explode. “I told you that stuff about Jessup when I was young and confused and scared. You weren’t supposed to throw it back in his face, especially not when he’s at his mama’s funeral!”
I’m pacing around the room trying to expel some of my anger induced energy.
“Sweetie, calm down. It was an accident. Your father didn’t mean to,” my mama offers as she holds my dad’s hand while sitting next to him on the couch. The gesture makes me angrier because Jessup’s mama never had that comfort.
“Save it, Mama!”
“Seriously, Stanz, calm the fuck down,” Staley says with eye roll. She’s playing on her phone in a chair near the front window.
“Staley M
ae!” my mama scolds her.
Staley shrugs. “She’s being dramatic. Jessup broke her heart and now she’s falling all over him like it never happened. She’s scared he’s going to bolt again. Let’s not forget everything now, Stanz.”
I don’t miss her emphasis. We never told my parents about the visit to Cambria senior year. They would never have forgiven Jessup for allowing his ex to do what she did.
“Stanzy, I’m sorry. It was so long ago I didn’t mean to say it. I meant it as a compliment. He really turned his life around considering how he was raised,” my dad apologizes.
“Yeah, he had a shitty upbringing and he made a lot of sacrifices to get where he is. Do you know that Rowen isn’t Jessup’s dad?”
Oh shit, I shouldn’t have said that.
“What?” my parents say in unison.
I shake my head. Too late now, Big Mouth.
“Yeah, he found out that little gem yesterday, I think,” I say, my voice practically a whisper. He didn’t seem super surprised when I read that bit in the letter from his mama, but maybe he was in shock. That’s big news.
“Well that should be good news,” Staley says matter-of-factly.
“Well it is because Rowen is a grade A asshole, but can you image the emotions and confusion of all of that? Plus, he hadn’t spoken to his mama is seven years and now she’s gone. He’ll never get that chance again, and, and…” I start to sputter my words and finally the tears just come flying out.
“Oh baby girl,” my mama cradles me in her arms as I collapse next to her on the couch. “I know, it’s okay to cry. Jessup is a wonderful boy who was hurt badly as a child. But look at all the positives that came from this. First and more importantly, you two to reconnected. You were such an important part of each other’s lives growing up.”
I shrug and sniffle into her cardigan. I was until he left me.
“That’s an excellent point, Avery,” my dad concurs. “Jessup was your friend for many years sweetheart and you were so heartbroken when he left. You two had something special and while the circumstances aren’t ideal, this could be a good stepping off point to rekindle your romance.”
“Rekindle our romance?” I snort. Staley starts laughing from her chair.
“Oh dad, you’re such a nerd,” Staley says.
“Kids don’t say that sort of thing, Cada,” my mama tells him.
“You two talk like you’re in some old family TV show about the perfect family. You’re barely in your fifties.”
“We’re okay with that. We’re happy,” my dad wraps an arm around my mama and in doing so hugs me too. “Besides, we always figured Jessup would return one day.”
“You did? But you liked Chipper,” I say with another sniffle.
“We tolerated Chipper and his stories about boating in the South of France or his genetically modified soybeans because you loved him. But there was a spark missing there and we knew you’d see it eventually,” my dad says.
“A spark?” I ask.
My parents nod.
“The kind that comes from allowing a boy to sneak into your room every night so he has a warm place to stay and someone to hug him. The kind of love that transforms that boy into a man,” my mama says with a chuckle while my dad clears his throat and gives me pointed look.
She continues, “The kind that draws two people together who love each with their whole being even though sometimes they choose the wrong path. But somehow that path leads them back together,” my mama says with a slight smile.
My cheeks flush.
“You knew about all those things?” I ask meekly. My parents knew this whole time that Jessup slept with me almost every night, that I lost my virginity to him, that I’ve never stopped loving him even when he was a far cry from the boy I grew up with.
“Of course we did. We’re your parents and we love Jessup too, Stanzy. He’s troubled, and rightfully so. Maybe don’t give up on him quite yet.”
“Do you think I’m making the right decision? To try to be with him?” I ask them.
“You are, baby girl, you are,” my dad says. With that he kisses each of us on the head and walks toward the kitchen. “I’ll start dinner so you can eat before you leave.”
“Mama? I know you and dad met in high school. How did you make it work all these years? Was it this hard?”
“We chose to,” is all she says.
“What does that even mean?” Staley asks. She’s now listening because her track record with men isn’t the greatest either.
“When you find the person you’re meant to be with it’s not always easy. It’s not always laughter, kissing, and getting all tangled up in the sack.”
“Oh God, Mama, please stop,” Staley says with a gagging noise.
“Stop it, Stay, I need to hear this.”
My mama continues, “Every relationship has problems, girls. But if you love the person you’re with and they love you in return, then nothing can come between you. And while the issues that are going on now will be different than those as you get older, if you choose each other every single day, you can make it work.”
“What kind of challenges?”
“Well for your dad and me, in the beginning there were other girls who wanted to date him. In high school and college. They made me insanely jealous and we argued about that a lot. Your dad was faithful, but I was insecure. It’s just nature. As we got older there were jobs and bills and you two unexpected surprises.”
“We weren’t planned?” Staley shrieks.
“Oh no, sweetie, you were. She wasn’t,” my mama laughs and squeezes me.
“What?”
“Ha! Told you that you were the mistake,” Staley teases me.
“No, no, no. We wanted more than one child, we just weren’t expecting you both at the same time. Stanzy, you were always meant to be. But as a young couple, having twins was a bit overwhelming at first. But you know what?”
“What?” Staley and I both ask simultaneously.
“We love each other. We love you. And every day there isn’t another man in this world I would rather wake up next to. It’s not always easy, but it’s always worth it. And Jessup won’t be easy. He wasn’t raised to know how to love. Be patient. You may have to give a little more than you take at first, but watching him yesterday and today, the way he looks at you, Stanzy.”
“What do you mean?”
“He looks at you like you hung the sun, moon and stars. Like the world doesn’t exist when you’re together. Like you’re his life line. That’s a lot of pressure, baby girl, so make sure he’s worth it too.”
I smile at Staley. Fuck, our parents are nauseatingly perfect, even when they admit their faults.
“Thanks, Mama.”
“I better help your dad so he doesn’t burn the house down. We love you girls.” She rises, kisses me on the top of my head and does the same to Staley.
“We’re almost twenty-five. Is she going to kiss us forever?” Staley asks.
“Yes, I am!” Mama shouts as she continues walking to the kitchen.
We both laugh.
✽✽✽
After dinner, more conversation about our jobs in Minnesota and Staley’s love life, we head upstairs.
I take a long, hot shower to wash the icky feeling I have off my skin. The time I’ve spent with Jessup during rehab, it was like getting to know him all over again. Once he let down that stupid playboy façade, he was my Jess again. I saw flashes of it when we were alone.
Now this? I understand he’s angry with me for sharing his personal information, I get that, I really do. But what should I have done?
After brushing my teeth and putting on my Golden Gopher tank top and gold sleep shorts that match, and pad across the hall to Staley’s room.
“What’re you doing?” I ask as I plop down next to her on her bed while brushing out my wet hair.
“Reading.” She wiggles her Kindle at me.
“Your lovey dovey shit?”
“Duh.”
/> “What’s this one about?”
“A woman gets hit by a car, loses her memory. Over time she starts having flashbacks, piecing shit back together and she just discovered that the guy driving the car that hit her was her husband. I’m going to bet they’re not really married and he’s using her for her fortune.”
“Uh, where is the romance in that?”
“Her doctor is fucking hot! They’re going to end up together,” she says and stares at me.
“What?”
“Kinda like you and Jessup, Dr. Sutton.”
I roll my eyes. “He doesn’t have amnesia and neither do I.”
“Well it would fucking helping you both to get out of your own way if you did.”
“Touché, sister. I’m going to bed. Enjoy the hot doctor.”
“Oh I will. Hospital gowns provide all kinds of easy access,” she replies and turns her attention back to her Kindle.
I shake my head as I cross the hall and climb into my childhood bed. This bed is still so comforting after years of being away, but something is missing.
I get up and walk to my dresser. Opening four drawers before I get to the right one. I pull out the worn pink, fluffy pig and walk back to my bed.
“You were always the best snuggler, Pucker,” I tell him. I make a mental note to bring Pucker to Minnesota with me this time.
I don’t know how long I’m asleep, but I’m awakened by a tapping on my window.
Am I fucking hallucinating?
I cautiously sneak out of bed and tip-toe to my window. Pulling back the curtains slowly I almost shriek at the sight of a man standing on top of my roof, staring at me.
It’s Jessup.
I open the window and let him crawl inside.
“What are you doing here?” I whisper-yell. “You scared the shit out of me!” I smack his arm.
“I don’t know. I left the cemetery and just started walking. I ended up here.”
“Are you drunk?”
“Soooooooooooooort of,” he slurs.
“Right.”
“Fuck, Stanzy, you’re gorgeous.” He reaches up and tucks my hair behind my ear, leaning in and smelling me again. “I-I’ve miss-ted you. How do you always sssmell soooo good you make my dick hard?”
Completion (Cambria University Series Book 3) Page 27
