by Nancy Mehl
“I do.”
“When my dad was arrested, the news was splashed across every TV channel and newspaper in the country. TV news vans camped outside our house, and we couldn’t leave without being assailed by reporters. The second day after it happened, I snuck out my bedroom window and made my way to the back of Georgie’s house. I tapped on her window, and she pulled back the curtains. I waited for her to let me in, but she just shook her head. She was crying. I think she wanted to see me, but I guess her parents told her to stay away from me. The next day my mom, my brother and I went to stay in an apartment on the other side of town, some place the U.S. Marshalls used as a safe house. We stayed there until my father was sentenced. Then we moved to Nebraska. I never saw Georgie again.”
“Why Nebraska?”
“Mom grew up there. Her parents moved to Arizona after she got married and moved away. Even though she had no family or friends in the state, she felt comfortable there. She went back to her maiden name. Changed our names too.”
Noah took a sip of his coffee. “I wonder if you should have talked to Georgie and her parents. I think you’re reading a lot into what happened on one night.”
Kaely waved her hand at him. “I don’t want to talk about Georgie or what occurred years ago. I need to figure out what to do now.”
“Sorry. I’m just trying to take you back to your childhood in a way that wouldn’t be too painful. I’d hoped talking about Georgie might help give you some perspective.”
“If it wasn’t so hurtful, it might. I appreciate it, but maybe we should just confront the situation head-on.”
Noah nodded. “Okay. What are the positive reasons for talking to your father? And what are the negative reasons?”
Kaely snorted, her face contorted in anger. “Well, one negative reason is that I hate him. I detest him for what he did to those women. And I’m angry about what he did to our family.”
“I understand that. But is that a reason? Or is that just how you feel?”
Kaely jumped to her feet and started to walk away, but then she turned around and glared at him. Her expression twisted with resentment. But before she responded, her body suddenly relaxed. “Okay,” she said. “You’re right. It’s not a good enough reason.”
She returned to the couch, but this time she sat on its arm, her stockinged feet landing on the cushion. Then she put her elbows on her knees and rested her head on her hands. “We both know what I have to do, don’t we?” she asked in a voice so small it reminded him of a child. “If he’ll even talk to me. Not sure he will.”
“Kaely, I certainly don’t believe you have to do this. No matter what Sawyer said, they’ve just started interviewing him. Two weeks isn’t enough time. They couldn’t have tried everything. And the Bureau has agents trained to deal with people like your father. The FBI has lots of professionals who will step in to help when they’re needed. And what about the BAU? Why not send them in before contacting you?”
“Because if they do, I’ll never get the chance to talk to him. Sawyer seems completely convinced I’m the only one who can do this.”
Noah sighed. “Look, maybe you should tell them to try again. Even if it doesn’t work, it might give you a week or two to get yourself acclimated to the idea of facing your father.”
Kaely’s dark eyes met his. Every time she looked at him that way, he felt something like electricity course through his body. It took all his strength to ignore it.
When they’d come back from Nebraska, he’d been so angry that staying away from her had been easy. But as his anger eased, he realized how much he missed her. He’d toyed with the idea of asking for a transfer. To get away from her for good. But he’d promised her once that he’d always be there for her, and he felt bound by that promise even though being near her caused him pain—like a wound that wouldn’t heal. But until she quit putting herself in danger unnecessarily, he had to hold on to whatever self-control he could muster. He honestly believed that losing her would destroy him.
“And if someone dies while I’m trying to get myself together?” she asked. “How do I live with that?”
“It might not happen.”
“But it might.” Kaely clasped her hands together and stared at them. “I made a vow, Noah.” She took a deep breath and said in a low voice, “I solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter. So help me God.”
“But you didn’t say you’d go toe-to-toe with your serial-killer father,” Noah said.
“How is this different? My father is a domestic enemy. I promised not to respond to any mental reservations. That I would faithfully discharge the duties of my office.” She offered him a tremulous smile. “I don’t really have a choice here, do I?”
Noah studied her for a moment. He knew Kaely Quinn. And he knew the answer to her question. “No, I guess you don’t.” He sighed again. “I’ll let Solomon know I’m willing to go with you. Not sure he was actually giving me a choice, though.”
Kaely pushed herself off the arm of the couch and plopped down next to him. She leaned her head against his shoulder. “Thank you. I’m not sure I could do this without you. I’ll be fine. Really.”
Her assurance sounded hollow. Kaely would do whatever she had to do to prepare herself for what she would face. But could she pull it off? Noah fought against the urge to stroke her hair. If he said too much, made the wrong move, he could lose himself in her. And he couldn’t take that chance. Not now. Not ever. He quelled the rush of emotions that surged through him.
“We’re friends and partners,” he said in carefully measured tones. “I meant it when I told you I’ll always be there when you need me. Always.”
Seven
Solomon hung up the phone after talking to the special agent in charge in Omaha, John Howard. His office oversaw Iowa, and they were working with the Des Moines PD. Everything had been arranged for Kaely and Noah to do this. A few months ago, they’d been on temporary assignment in Nebraska through the Omaha office, so they were already acquainted with Howard’s agents. Although Solomon wasn’t crazy about Kaely having to face her father again, he couldn’t very well tell her she couldn’t do it. She was a grown woman and a stellar agent.
Still, he worried about her. She’d been through a lot. A devastating betrayal last year and a tough case in Nebraska that involved her mother. Although Kaely kept saying she was okay, Solomon wasn’t so sure. He’d encouraged her to talk to a therapist who sometimes worked with the Bureau in Missouri, and his report had been less than reassuring. Although Dr. Barber determined she was fit for work, he was concerned that she wasn’t dealing realistically with her feelings. That she was so busy trying to live up to the image she had of a strong and capable FBI special agent that she wasn’t allowing herself to be human. Kaely seemed to believe that giving in to her emotions was a sign of weakness.
“Watch out for her,” Dr. Barber had warned. “She may reach a point where she’ll have no choice but to face her demons. None of us can simply ignore everything that happens to us. We all have breaking points, and we can deal with only so much before we must ask for help.”
“She has a strong faith,” Solomon told him. “Maybe that will see her through?”
“Still, a refusal to admit she needs help could lead her to a pretty dark place,” the doctor had said. He’d walked toward the door but turned back before leaving Solomon’s office. “I’m sorry I can’t do more for her. At this point, we’re at a standstill. If something changes, let me know. I’m willing to do anything I can.” He’d nodded at Solomon and left.
Solomon turned the conversation over in his mind. If Dr. Barber was right, could Kaely be teetering on the edge of an emotional cliff? What if facing her father was th
e final straw?
He drummed his fingers on his desk. The rhythm soothed him, helped him think. He was also worried about the Scripture found in the victims’ mouths. What did it mean? Was it directed toward Kaely? It was possible it had nothing to do with her. Still, it bothered him. Dr. Barber said she was stable right now, but even so, Solomon had thought more than once about pulling the plug on this thing. Of course, if he did that, especially if Kaely decided to talk to her father, she’d be furious with him.
Solomon took a deep breath. He would have to trust Kaely’s training and ability. The truth was he wanted to protect her. Be the kind of father she’d never had. But that wasn’t his job. He was her boss, and he had to treat her like any other agent. Whatever she decided, he would support her, no matter how hard it was. At least Noah would be by her side. Solomon knew he cared deeply for Kaely and that he would do whatever it took to keep her from falling into the dark abyss they feared waited for her.
He glanced at the clock on the wall. She’d be here any minute. Whatever she was about to tell him, he was prepared.
At nine o’clock, Kaely arrived at Solomon’s office. Grace smiled and waved her in, and when Kaely knocked on his door, his familiar deep voice told her to enter. She pushed the door open and found Solomon sitting at his desk, going through a stack of papers.
She slid into the leather chair facing him and waited until he put down his pen and looked up.
“Good morning,” he said. “Coffee?”
Kaely shook her head. “No, thanks. I’m fine.”
Solomon leaned back in his chair. “I assume you’ve made a decision.”
Kaely nodded and swallowed hard at the same time. Even though she and Noah had talked into the early morning hours, she found herself wavering as she sat in front of her boss.
She took a deep breath. “I want to go,” she said firmly.
Solomon’s only reaction was to raise his eyebrows slightly. Kaely got the feeling he’d expected her response.
“Are you sure?”
“No. But if I don’t do this, if I don’t face him, every new death will be on my conscience. I’ll wonder if I could have prevented it.”
“He may not talk to you either,” Solomon said. He pulled his chair closer to his desk and clasped his hands together. “I don’t want you to be upset if he doesn’t respond to you. Just do your best. That’s all anyone can ask.”
“Thank you, but I hope I can get something from him that will help to catch the person killing these women.” She smiled at him. “I’ll be fine.” She met Solomon’s direct gaze. “I can do this. I really can.”
Solomon nodded. “I realize that, Agent Quinn.” His voice had taken on an official tone she was familiar with. Even though he couldn’t acknowledge his personal concern for her, somehow knowing he cared gave her strength.
“You and Noah get ready to leave. Head out tomorrow. Do you want to fly?”
Kaely shook her head. “It’s only six hours away. I’d rather drive, if it’s okay.” She hated flying. She didn’t like handing over control if she didn’t have to.
“Okay. Pick up one of our vehicles in the morning. I’ll tell SAC Howard to expect you sometime in the late afternoon. I believe your father is still housed in Anamosa State Penitentiary?”
Kaely nodded. Anamosa had a maximum-security section, and her father had been there ever since his sentencing.
“Then I’ll have Grace make hotel reservations near the prison.” Solomon paused for a moment. “Thank you for accepting this assignment. And please keep in touch. Let me know how things progress. You’re assigned to Omaha for thirty days. Even if you can’t get your father to respond to you, I’m sure you can find a way to help. As Sawyer said yesterday, Noah can help prep you for the interview, if you wish. He’ll also review visitor logs, look at mail received and sent, interview prison personnel, see if anyone else has information that will help you find out how your father is getting information to his . . . associate.”
Kaely stood. “Will they want me to provide a profile?”
Solomon hesitated before answering. “I think Sawyer knows you’re an asset they need. I wouldn’t be surprised if you’re asked to at least give your input. But be careful. That’s not why they’re asking for your help. Focus on interviewing your father.”
Kaely cleared her throat. “I . . . I’d like to take Mr. Hoover with me. I hate leaving him behind again.”
Solomon nodded. “I’ll tell Grace.” He stood and extended his hand. “Good luck, Kaely. Call me when you can. Keep me in the loop.”
Although it wasn’t protocol for her to share information from the investigation in Omaha, Kaely understood Solomon was more interested in her well-being than in details of the case. She took his hand and shook it. “I will. Thank you, sir.”
She rarely called him sir, but for some reason it just felt right.
Kaely left Solomon’s office and went to her desk, where she sat down and pulled up everything she could find on the murders in Des Moines. As she worked, she tried to ignore the whisperings inside that wanted to fill her mind with fear.
Eight
He waited down the deserted street. She left for work every night at the same time, and sure enough, the front door of her house opened, and she came out, headed to her car parked by the curb. She was small, dark haired, conservatively dressed. He picked up the bags of groceries and then put the crutches under his arms. His hair was stuffed under a wig, and thick black glasses hid some of his face. He had to concentrate to stay off the leg he’d covered with a fake cast.
As he approached her car, he dropped one of the sacks. “Oh no,” he said, not looking at her, not letting her know he’d even seen her. Out of the corner of his eye, he watched as she hesitated. Then, as he knew she would, she came over, putting her car keys in her pocket.
“Can I help you?” she asked.
He looked up at her, as if startled to find he wasn’t alone. “I can pick it up myself,” he said. “But thank you.” He smiled at her. “Broke my leg playing football with my brothers after church on Sunday. Stupid. My mom tries to help me, but I hate to bother her. Her health isn’t good. Thought I could at least walk to the store by myself.”
“Where do you live?”
“Two blocks down.”
She was kneeling, putting the groceries back in the sack, when he took out the stun gun and put it under her chin. When the jolt hit her, she fell to the ground, unconscious. He looked around to make sure no one was watching. He put the stun gun in his pocket, then reached down and pulled her up, making it look as if she were simply leaning against him. Then he dragged her to his car parked not far from hers before opening the trunk and shoving her in. He removed his cast and threw it and the crutches in, too, before quickly picking up the spilled groceries.
Then he got into his car, started the engine, and took off. The woman hadn’t even noticed his hands were clad in latex gloves, to make sure he didn’t leave any fingerprints behind.
She would be out for a while. Twenty million volts under the chin guaranteed keeping her that way. He removed the spool of red ribbon he stored in a special box, along with one of the angels he’d fashioned from wire. The Scripture was in a baggie in his pocket. Everything had gone off without a hitch.
As he drove way, he found himself whistling a tune he’d heard on the radio. It was a country western song. When Daddy hears about the things I’ve done, will he forgive the man that I’ve become? Will he send me on my way? Or will he plead with me to stay? Oh, Daddy, your child is on the road to home.
He smiled as he headed to the spot he’d chosen for his new acquisition.
Kaely was quiet as they drove toward their hotel in Anamosa. Monday night she seemed to open up. She’d shared her feelings about her father. But today her professional persona was firmly in place. She was Special Agent Kaely Quinn, not Kaely, the confused woman who’d leaned her head on his shoulder. This was a familiar pattern with her. And if he tried to challenge her, s
he’d deny there was a problem.
Noah couldn’t help but compare her to Tracy. Tracy had been an open book. Kaely was a book that slammed shut if you got too close. And then there was the fear that if you tried to pry open the cover, the book would close for good.
While Kaely hid her emotions, Tracy had been transparent about both her fears and her hopes as she battled cancer. She almost had him convinced she was going to beat the horrible disease that ate at her. But toward the end, she’d grown tired of fighting. Told him she wanted to go home. He’d insisted that home was here, with him. But she’d begged him to release her. To say good-bye. As hard as it had been, he’d done as she’d asked.
After she died, he’d gone on with life, putting one foot in front of the other. One of the walking wounded. But a place inside him screamed her name every day. He tried to tune it out, but when he did, he felt as if he were betraying her. Being paired with Kaely over the past year had helped him more than anything else. It hadn’t filled the hole inside him, but Kaely gave him something else to think about. Her conflict, her brilliance, her battles had provided purpose. A reason to get up in the morning.
Before he’d met her, he’d turn off the alarm clock every morning, lie on his back, and try to find a reason—just one reason—to put his feet on the floor. For a long time, he got up, got dressed, and went to work only because he was supposed to. He saw himself as a robot—no feeling, no emotion, just following orders until the day ended and he could crawl back into bed, praying he wouldn’t dream about Tracy.
“I’ll give him one chance to talk,” Kaely said suddenly. “If he doesn’t, I’m out of there.”
“We’re stuck working for Des Moines for thirty days,” Noah said, reminding her. This was their second assignment out of Omaha. In February they’d assisted with a drug case just so they could look into a series of arsons in the small town in Nebraska where Kaely’s mom lived. That was the first time they’d met Special Agent in Charge John Howard. He was a fair-minded man, but Noah wondered what they’d do if Kaely couldn’t get her father to talk. Would Omaha assign them to a different case? He doubted it. He suspected they needed all the help they could get with this one. He was fairly sure they’d give them something to do still connected to this serial killer.
