Dead End

by Nancy Mehl

  Kaely sighed. “Yes, I know that. But I guess I never thought of my father’s choices as abuse. I suppose you’re right.” She was silent as she studied Melanie. “I suspect there’s a point here?”

  “The point is this. I’m not going to offer excuses for what your father did. But I am going to tell you about things that drove him, that contributed to his illness. As I said, I don’t expect you to think they excuse what he did, but I believe you have the right to know all this. And in your position, your calling, knowing might even be helpful.”

  Kaely crossed her arms over her chest. Defensive move. She didn’t care. She wasn’t looking for help from her father’s past, no matter what he’d been through. There weren’t enough reasons in the world to explain his actions. “Go ahead,” she said, reluctant.

  Melanie opened the file. “Seems Ed was raised by a cruel father who beat him and his sister regularly. He locked them in a closet for hours if they did anything he thought was wrong, and he burned them with cigarettes. His parents spent almost every penny they could get on drink, drugs, and cigarettes. Hardly anything for their children.”

  She closed the file. It seemed she knew its contents by heart. “Ed and his sister, Missy, weren’t allowed any toys, but your father fashioned one for Missy. An angel made from wire. Missy loved it. She carried it everywhere with her. Talked to it.”

  Melanie hesitated. This seemed difficult for her. “One day their father beat Missy so badly that she died. She was only nine. Ed was twelve and watched it happen. He’d wanted to step in and protect his sister, but he’d been afraid. For some reason, his mother tied Missy’s hands and feet with some ribbons her grandmother had given her. Red ribbons. They put her in a plastic bag and buried her deep in the backyard of their rental home. While Ed’s father was looking for the bag, Ed put Missy’s wire angel in her hand. His way of saying good-bye to the little sister he loved.

  “Then they moved to where no one knew Missy had ever existed, Ed’s father threatening him with a similar beating if he ever told anyone what happened. Not long after that, his mother killed herself, and then his father took off. Ed did live with his grandparents, who’d been told Missy died from an illness, until he could go out on his own. But he never told them or anyone else what his father had done.” She frowned. “Ed and his family moved so many times, always to rental properties, that he couldn’t remember where his sister was buried. Maybe the FBI could do some research and find her remains.”

  “I’ll try. I’d like to see her have a proper burial.” Kaely turned over the information the doctor had given her, but it didn’t make sense. Even to a profiler who was trained to understand the psychopathic mind. “But . . . but if he went through that kind of pain, why would he do the same thing to innocent women?”

  “I can’t explain it completely,” Melanie said. “In his tortured mind he was recreating the most traumatic moment of his life. His actions were a sign of his mental illness. I also believe it was inspired by the Enemy, making him relive it over and over. He followed that evil voice . . . as long as he could.” Melanie sighed and stroked the outside of the folder. “I’ve read quite a bit about Ed since he came here, Kaely. I wonder if you know how he was caught.”

  Kaely nodded. “Of course. He was profiled by an FBI behavioral analyst who suggested my father may change costumes after it was reported that a little girl saw him and referred to him as a raggedy man.”

  Melanie nodded. “He changed costumes after the media started calling him The Raggedy Man, then?”

  “Well, not right away, I guess. I mean, he needed time to come up with something new.”

  Melanie paused, staring down at the file in her lap.

  “If there’s something you want to say, please just say it,” Kaely said tersely.

  “I’m sorry. I wasn’t trying to be enigmatic, but I was just wondering why you’ve never seen it.”

  Kaely held back an exasperated sigh. This is why therapists tended to irritate her. She looked out the window. What was Melanie referring to? Then an idea she’d never considered jumped into her mind. “The media reported that the profiler suggested the killer might change his disguise to someone in law enforcement, and my father was wearing a policeman’s uniform when they caught him—after the profiler was quoted. Why would he change to exactly what the profiler suggested?” Kaely stared at Melanie as she tried to grasp the meaning of her words.

  “Because he wanted to be caught, Kaely. Needed to be stopped.”

  Kaely snorted. “Needed to be stopped? Why? He didn’t care about anyone, including his victims.”

  Melanie took another sip of coffee before saying, “He didn’t care in the way some people would, of course. But he did in the only way he could. His emotions, his ability to love had been . . . seared when he was young. Almost like an electrical line with a short circuit. Some psychopaths will argue that they do love. Is it the kind of love we’re taught? The kind of love we learn from God? No.”

  She paused for a moment. “Maybe what he felt was closer to affection for a possession. I don’t know, but in his way, your father cared about you. And when your life and the life of your brother were threatened, he did what he could to save you. Have you asked yourself why he cooperated with Beck? I don’t think it was until he was stabbed by Raymond Cooper that he realized Kenneth really intended to kill the both of you no matter what he’d promised. Once he knew you were in danger, he tried to tell you who the Copycat Killer was.”

  “If you knew what was going on, you had the responsibility to say something,” Kaely said. “You’re required to report criminal activity that might involve harm to others.”

  “Your father never mentioned his relationship with Kenneth Beck. I asked him about the Copycat Killer, and he threatened to end our sessions if I brought him up again. Later, however, he did say something I didn’t understand at the time. But I do now.”

  “And what’s that?”

  “He told me he was sorry for all the pain he’d caused his children. And he was determined to protect them now.” She sighed and looked toward the windows, beyond which trees covered the ugliness of prison walls. “I wondered what he meant, but I had no clue it was related to the Copycat Killer.”

  Kaely took a deep breath and let it out. “I can understand that.”

  “Kaely, I talked to your father about Christ. He listened, but I’m not sure how much of it he received. He didn’t talk a lot about God. Could be many reasons for that, but I’m not going to speculate about it. He did mention that your brother had also talked to him about salvation.”

  Melanie picked up her coffee cup and took another sip. Kaely was surprised to see that she was emotional. She’d cared about Ed.

  “Yeah, I’m aware of that. Jason did everything he could to win Dad to the Lord, but there was never a commitment.”

  “Ed told me once that he wasn’t good enough for heaven.” She sighed deeply. “I did my best to convince him that heaven isn’t for perfect people. It’s for forgiven people. I’m not sure he ever believed me.”

  “Why are you telling me this?”

  Melanie put down her cup and clasped her hands together. “Ed knew how to receive Christ. I told him. Jason told him. I’m hoping that in those last hours of his life, he cried out to God. I wanted to give you some hope.”

  “Well, let’s hope his victims made it to heaven,” Kaely said bluntly. “But we don’t know, do we?”

  “No. No, we don’t.” She smiled. “You’ll have to find a way to deal with your anger toward your father. Stay honest. Tell your new therapist that you’re angry.”

  “I’m sorry,” Kaely said. “You’ve been great. I don’t mean to be objectionable.”

  Melanie chuckled. “You’re not the least bit objectionable.” She got up and walked to her desk. Then she pulled open a drawer and took out a small box. After shuffling through it, she removed a card and took it to Kaely before sitting down again. “This is a therapist in St. Louis. I’d like you to see he
r when you get home.”

  Kaely glanced at the name and address. Carolyn Hutson, and her office wasn’t far from hers. “Okay. Thanks.”

  Melanie put the file on a table next to her. “Before you leave, may I pray with you?”

  Kaely was surprised by the request, but she nodded. Melanie scooted forward in her chair, and Kaely did likewise so she could take her hands. As Melanie prayed, she didn’t plea for help. But her prayer was full of power, a declaration of the authority believers experience in Christ. Kaely was so moved by the overwhelming presence of love in the small room that she could barely catch her breath.

  When she finished, Melanie smiled at her. “Just let God keep working in you. He wants you to be free from the past. You have a wonderful life in front of you, you know. Fight for it.”

  Kaely stood. “I will,” she choked out.

  Melanie walked her to the door. “I’m sorry for everything you’ve been through and so glad you and your brother recovered from your injuries. If you ever need someone to talk to, call me. I’ll be glad to listen.”

  “Thank you.” Kaely stuck out her hand, and Melanie took it. “I really do appreciate your time. You’ve helped more than I can say.”

  “Good. Let me walk you out.”

  A few minutes later Kaely was being escorted out of the prison. When she reached her car in the parking lot, she got in, then put her head on the steering wheel and cried until she couldn’t cry anymore. But it wasn’t from sadness. It was release. And joy.

  Forty-Four

  It wasn’t quite time to leave for the drive to Mort’s, but Kaely was already packed and ready to go. She sat down on the couch to relax a bit. This would be her third trip to the restaurant during her trip to Iowa. She and Noah had taken Jason and Audrey there before they left for home. Audrey had braved a flight to be with him in the hospital.

  Kaely couldn’t stop thanking God that her brother had survived the awful knife wound Kenneth Beck inflicted. She was also thankful Beck had thought Jason was dead when he dumped him into the hole he’d dug for both of them. Jason admitted he was actually conscious for some of it.

  “I kept trying to help you, sis,” he’d said. “But I was too weak. Then when he pushed me into that hole, I passed out again. I didn’t regain consciousness until I woke up in the hospital.”

  “If you’d angered him, he would have killed you, Jason. I’m so glad you didn’t do anything to set him off.”

  “And I’m grateful the cavalry showed up just in time,” Jason had said, looking at Noah. “A few minutes later . . .”

  Noah had been pretty quiet while Kaely recovered. She’d seen him like this before, when he had something on his mind. She had no idea what it was, but she wasn’t worried. She trusted him.

  She couldn’t stop thinking about what Melanie said, that her father might have accepted God’s forgiveness before he died. She had no way to know what happened, but she wasn’t going to dwell on it. It was better to simply put him in God’s hands and leave him there.

  After having his body cremated, she’d looked for a cemetery where his remains could be buried. Of course, there was no funeral. Couldn’t be one. But it seemed no one even wanted The Raggedy Man buried in their hallowed ground. Kaely had no intention of taking his ashes home with her, though. Finally, one small cemetery, owned by a church, accepted his remains.

  “We’re not his judges,” the pastor had said. “Our job is to love. If Christ loves the world, then we should as well. And that includes your father.”

  They would allow her to pay only for the cost of having the ground opened and closed, wanting to be a blessing to Kaely and her family. She paid them the small amount they asked for and then sent a larger check after the burial. Kaely and Jason talked about going to the cemetery, but the media was inflamed over the death of the infamous Raggedy Man. Somehow, they’d figured out where he was buried and were scouting out the small cemetery, no doubt hoping to see his son and daughter there—all much to the chagrin of the church. The pastor and his parishioners had actually been called traitors by a columnist in one of the local papers.

  Kaely called the pastor to apologize for the attacks, but he’d just chuckled. “People of faith have endured a lot harsher persecution than this. It will pass. Something else will happen in our town, and the media will trot after that. We’ll be forgotten.”

  Kaely’s eyes misted thinking of the kind pastor and his long-suffering congregation. She had driven past the cemetery once, early in the morning before the media vans arrived. She spotted the newly turned earth and was touched to see flowers on the grave. She was certain the church had placed them there. No one else in Des Moines would be brave enough.

  She believed her invisible friend, Georgie, was gone for good. She didn’t feel sad. Georgie lived inside her. Always had. But now Kaely had moved into a healthier relationship with God. He was the first person she needed to talk to. Kaely’s faith was growing, and she was getting better at hearing that still small voice inside of her.

  She glanced at her watch. Almost time to leave. She got up and checked her image in the mirror. She liked the way her dark red hair looked with her black dress. She wore a simple silver choker with a small pearl around her neck and pearl earrings she’d also packed.

  She laughed as she noticed Mr. Hoover sitting on the floor behind her, staring at her disapprovingly.

  “I know,” she said, “but we’re going home. Life will get back to normal.”

  Noah had taken care of the persnickety cat while she’d been in the hospital. Even though she’d been gone only a few days, Noah said the big cat had been restless, lying by the door, waiting for Kaely to come back. She’d missed him, too, showering him with affection when she returned. Mr. Hoover put up with it for a while, but then he’d finally reclaimed his imperious attitude. As she stared at him now, she realized they were a lot alike. The abandoned cat and the emotionally abandoned girl were both learning to trust again.

  “If you’re good, I’ll bring you something from supper,” she said. “How about a shrimp?” Mort’s was known for their shrimp cocktail. Kaely could hardly wait to bite into a huge chilled shrimp dipped in spicy shrimp sauce. “I might be rethinking that,” she said, smiling at Mr. Hoover, who made it clear he wasn’t that interested in what she was saying.

  Kaely jumped when Noah knocked on the connecting door. “Come in,” she said. She couldn’t hold back a small gasp when he walked into the room. He was wearing his black suit with a white shirt and a silver tie that brought out his gray-blue eyes. His longish black hair, which was usually tousled, was combed into submission. She was struck by how handsome he really was.

  “You clean up great,” she said. “But we’re both wearing black. Do you think people at the restaurant will assume we’ve come from a funeral?”

  He grinned. “No, they won’t see anything but how beautiful you are.”

  She gulped at his compliment. “Let me find my purse, and then I’ll be ready to go.”

  “I’ll carry our bags down to the car,” he said.

  Kaely went into the bedroom to grab something she’d picked up after her meeting with Melanie. She didn’t want to take her clunky leather purse with her tonight, so she’d visited a local clothing and accessories store to buy something more appropriate. The small, black satin clutch purse was perfect. Its rhinestone-studded silver clasp matched her necklace. She checked again to make sure everything she needed was inside. Then she looked around the room one more time to make sure she wasn’t leaving anything behind.

  She came back into the living room and walked over to Mr. Hoover. “Sorry, we’ve got to travel again, but you’ll be home tonight,” she told him as she reached into the carrier and stroked his thick, soft hair. She had really fallen in love with him and completely understood the loyalty pet owners had for their fur babies. He’d made her feel less alone, and that was a tremendous blessing.

  “Ready?” Noah said as he walked through the door.

  Ka
ely straightened and nodded. “Can’t wait. I already know what I’m going to order.”

  Noah grabbed cat carrier. They left the room and got into their car. Noah offered to drive, and Kaely accepted. She appreciated the chance to relax for a while. It didn’t take them long to get on the road and head toward Des Moines. On the way Kaely told Noah about her meeting with Melanie.

  Noah was silent for a while after she finished.

  “Did I say something that upset you?” she asked.

  He shook his head. “No, I . . . I guess I’m feeling some compassion for your father. What a horrible way to grow up.”

  “It’s true, Noah. But turning that experience into a reason to kill . . .”

  “I know, but children can break, Kaely. And I’ve become convinced that the devil uses broken people for his purposes.” He turned to look at her. “Have you thought any more about your profiling technique?”

  “Yes, I have. I truly believe I’ll be okay now. I have authority over the Enemy, and I just need to use it. I guess I couldn’t accept the reality of what was happening. I mean, we read about the devil, but I don’t think we’re as vigilant as we should be.” She smiled at him. “Thank you for trying to protect me. And don’t worry. I don’t intend to use it until I’m sure everything’s under control. And that you feel all right about it.”

  “Thank you. I’m relieved to hear that.”

  “You’re welcome.”

  He glanced at her again. What was on his mind? Kaely got a little nervous, preferring he keep his eyes on the road.

  “So finding out about your father’s childhood didn’t change the way you feel about him? Not even a little?”

  Kaely sighed as she thought about all the years of anger, resentment, and rage she’d experienced because of her father’s evil deeds. Yet her feelings had changed some. Now there was sorrow. For everyone involved. “Yeah, some. But I’ll always be sorry for the destruction he caused.”