by Diane Adams
Alex choked on a laugh and escaped from Jared’s embrace to begin loading the huge bags into carts. The boxed baby bed lay waiting on a dolly along with a car seat and a high chair.
Jared cleared his throat. “That’s twenty.”
Heavily made-up eyes flashed at him. “I’m not stupid. I thought you wanted it put in that way one for each of you.”
Jared thought about it. “The donations are anonymous, right?”
“Yeah, yeah I guess. I don’t get your names or anything.”
“Then it doesn’t really matter how you put it in.”
Jared heard Alex laughing as the automated doors slid shut behind him.
“Guess not.” She finally gave his card back to him. “Good luck with your—” She glanced to where Alex had left the store. “—everything. The baby is lucky. You seem like nice guys. Thank you for shopping with Babies R Us.”
Jared felt like a jerk. He put his wallet into his back pocket. “Thanks. We’ll need all the luck we can get, that’s for sure. I appreciate all your help.” He gathered up the remaining bags and followed Alex. Determined that the next time someone at the Greasy Dog told him they didn’t have medium fries, only small, large, and extra-large, he would not laugh. He knew that standing behind a register didn’t mean the person was stupid. Now that he thought about it, doing a job he didn’t like all day might make his brain numb too. Regardless, he planned to make Alex pay for deserting him.
* * * * *
Alex pulled the truck up to a side entrance into the hospital they’d discovered a few days before since it was much closer to Sissy’s room than the main doors.
“Have you heard anything about her brother?” Jared made no move to get out of the truck. Alex listened to the quiet tick of the engine as it cooled.
“No.” He reached and pulled something out from behind the seat. He laid it in Jared’s lap. “They gave me this. One of the nurses washed it. It’s Sissy’s only personal effect. Her clothes weren’t salvageable.”
Jared picked up the pile of red cloth from his lap. The hoodie wasn’t small enough for the baby nor was it thick enough for a winter coat. He frowned as he studied it. “It’s his coat. Sissy was wrapped up in something. I thought it was a blanket.”
Alex gave Jared a couple seconds to absorb everything before tugging the jacket out of his hands. He balled it in his lap, hands twisted in the worn material.
“It wouldn’t have kept him warm, but it was all he had and he gave it to her. He doesn’t even have a pair of shoes.” Alex clenched his jaw, determined not to give in to the emotions threatening to overwhelm him. “How in the hell did they end up in that building all alone?” Alex broke, but thankfully Jared was there and his arms were as safe a haven as they had always been.
“We’ll find him.” Jared threaded his fingers through Alex’s hair and tugged gently at the curls. Alex still hadn’t bothered to return to a more professional hairstyle. The movement soothed him but didn’t defuse his anxiety.
He met Jared’s eyes. “How? There hasn’t been a sign of him. The police can’t find him even with all their resources. It’d be like looking for a needle in a haystack for us.”
“It’s going to work out.” Jared cupped Alex’s face. Alex leaned into the touch, seeking comfort and reassurance, though he feared both would be hard to come by until everything had settled. He knew Jared believed what he said, and Alex was content to rest on his faith for a little while. God knew he’d done it often enough in the past. Jared swiped his thumb across the skin under his eyes gently. Alex knew the dark circles concerned him.
Taking a deep breath, he let Jared’s quiet surety sink in and calm the frantic worry he’d wrestled with since the night of the fire. The night had brought back Alex’s nightmares of the first horrific fire in his life, and he couldn’t sleep. Exhaustion made the stress worse, but Alex had no intentions of telling Jared. Alex was a grown man, not a helpless baby. Sissy came first.
“How long since you’ve slept?” Jared’s gentle question broke into Alex’s thoughts.
He frowned and pulled away from Jared’s touch. “I’m fine. Just worried.”
“You’re having nightmares again.” The words were not a question and brooked no argument.
Alex stared out the passenger window. He didn’t want to talk about the bad dreams. The only thing that would stop them was Jared in bed with him and they both knew it.
“Just a few more days.” Jared slid his fingers through the curls at the base of Alex’s neck without trying to turn him around. “After you get this stuff in the house why don’t you get the twins to put the bed together and go pick up dinner for us? I want you to stay with us tonight.”
“There’s a lot more to do than put together a bed.” Alex turned and met Jared’s gaze, aware of how weak his protest sounded. “Besides, they only allow one person to stay at night, and we aren’t really Sissy’s parents.”
Jared leaned over the console to kiss him. Alex closed his eyes and lost himself in the sensual movement of Jared’s lips on his own. His heartbeat quickened and his fingers curled around the back of Jared’s neck. The silky strands of his hair slid against Alex’s fingers, heightening his sensitivity. They hadn’t shared a moment alone since the night of the fire, and he missed the constant intimacy they normally enjoyed. He parted his lips when Jared lapped at the seam, a soft sound escaping at the first touch of their tongues.
A horn blared and startled them back to reality.
“I know better than to start kissing you.” Jared’s laugh contained more fondness than humor. Alex grinned. Somehow spending time with Jared could make everything seem right with the world.
“I guess you better go. Stevie wants to hang around for a while. I’ll have Clark come and pick her up when I bring dinner.” He opened the door and climbed out of the truck. He met Jared in front of the vehicle and wrapped his hand around the keys Jared pressed into his palm. Jared stopped Alex with a hand on his arm before he could move on.
“They aren’t invited to dinner. I want you to myself.” Jared’s lips quirked a little with apparent amusement. “As much to myself as I can get in a hospital room with a recovering baby.”
Alex kissed the corner of Jared’s mouth. “I’ll keep that in mind.” Their eyes met and held for a long moment before Alex moved out from under Jared’s hand. “See you soon.” He hurried to climb into the truck before the other driver felt compelled to sound his displeasure a second time. Jared lifted his hand in goodbye and disappeared through the hospital doors.
Never Halfway
“Thank goodness.” Stevie breathed a sigh of relief when the door opened and Jared came into sight instead of another nurse. The IV line kept her from rushing to meet him, crying baby cradled in her arms. “She’s only been awake a few minutes. I told the nurse I’d call you if I couldn’t get her to quiet down.”
Jared hung his coat in the closet and went to take the little girl from Stevie’s arms. She watched the baby blink up at Jared with the biggest brown eyes she’d ever seen and wail. With whispered reassurance, Jared cradled Sissy close, leaning to nuzzle her ear and press a kiss against her temple. She hid her face against his chest and quieted to just a few small hiccups immediately.
Surprised by the reaction, Stevie grinned at Jared and ran a finger over the baby’s soft curls. “Pretty easy to see who her favorite is.”
Jared looked up long enough to settle into a chair situated close enough to the crib that he didn’t have to adjust the IV stand before returning his attention to Sissy. He checked her diaper, made sure her clothing wasn’t twisted, and examined the IV in her scalp. He met Stevie’s eyes. “You can sit down. Alex took the stuff home. He said you wanted to visit.”
Stevie didn’t think he sounded particularly welcoming, but she remembered the feeling, the desire to be left alone with the small life in her care. Even when she adopted older children, the need to keep them close and exclusive for bonding made taking care of everyday situations di
fficult.
“We miss you guys.” Steve took the chair across from Jared and sat quietly while he talked to the baby and rocked her. The adoration in his eyes no less than she’d expected to see. Jared loved without reservation and with complete devotion to the ones he let into his life. “And everyone is looking forward to meeting Sissy.”
Jared met her gaze with a level look. “I know, but there will be time enough for visiting when we get home. As soon as we’re sure she’s nice and strong.”
“I promised the kids I’d talk to you about Christmas since it’s only a couple weeks away. Jens is worried you won’t be there.” Stevie smiled and shook her head. Sometimes she thought her youngest son would leave home and move in with Jared given half a chance. Thankfully the love was mutual. “I think really he’s worried about the new baby taking his place.”
Jared cradled Sissy in one strong arm as she slept. He put the footrest up and relaxed into the chair. He looked as natural as if he’d done the same his entire life. “Alex and I haven’t talked about much beyond the next few days, and I’m not sure Sissy will be ready to go out by then.” He paused and looked thoughtful. “I don’t see why you guys can’t come to our place. I know it’s not as big as the old house, but we can put her to bed if it’s too much activity for her. I bet Annie would be happy to ‘upstairs sit’.”
Tension eased from Stevie. She appreciated how much Jared and Alex were taking on with the new baby, but her own kids were worrying her to death about the situation. Their adopted uncles were a huge part of their lives and even the twins, no longer children, were worried about how things were going to change.
The baby whimpered in her sleep, and Jared soothed her with a soft touch and murmured reassurance. Stevie felt a twinge of the same concern Clark had expressed to her about how deeply the couple had involved themselves in the care of the baby. Old hands at fostering and adopting had taught them that not every foster child would be part of their lives forever and it was important to keep that in mind. The system did not always care what was best for the child. The baby Jared held so tenderly could have family, or someone could advocate the child be put into a more traditional setting, or as had become more common recently, race could be an issue.
“You guys need to make sure you are taking this slowly and try not to get too involved. Anything could happen over the next few weeks. We don’t want you to get hurt.” Stevie remembered more than one or two occasions she should have heeded her own advice. Nothing hurt like having a child taken away for some bureaucratic nonsense.
Jared glanced down at Sissy and traced her round cheek with a gentle finger before meeting Stevie’s eyes once more. “We understand the risks. It’s already too late to be careful, and I know you never followed that advice. Not even when you really should have.”
Stevie’s cheeks heated under Jared’s knowing gaze. He’d held her more than once as she cried out her heartbreak over a child they couldn’t keep. “Okay, point taken. Just be as careful as you can.”
* * * * *
Jared stood and put Sissy into the crib on her back, and she immediately rolled onto her stomach. He shook his head with an affectionate smile and covered her with the satin-trimmed blanket Stevie had brought for her the first day.
“I promise,” he assured her. He took his seat and studied Stevie in silence for long enough she shifted uncomfortably.
“Jared?” She frowned at his intensity. “Is everything okay?”
He blinked and shook his head to clear his thoughts. “Sorry, I was just thinking.” He chewed his lip for another few seconds. “You know Alex designed that show house for JD Construction?”
Stevie looked confused by the abrupt shift in subjects. “Sure, Justin and Keith bought it. It’s a gorgeous place. They love showing it off.”
Jared nodded. “Exactly. The designs sell better when people can walk through and even better if they see someone living in the home. I think it makes it easier for them to imagine the practical day-to-day needs of living somewhere. Regardless of why it works, it does. Clark mentioned to Alex a couple times that he’s had clients interested in a much bigger house. Alex was working on it before everything happened. I think he’s about done with the design.”
He watched for her reaction and smiled when Stevie seemed more bewildered than ever. Maybe Alex had been right about getting her on their side before they tried to give the Johnsons a house. “It’s a good idea to build another show place. We have plenty of room, even after giving Justin and Keith those two acres. Alex figures three acres would be plenty of room.”
For the first time a hint of suspicion began to show in her expression. “Why would you want the place build on your land?” Stevie studied him intently. Jared thought about their current home, bursting at the seams with kids.
“Because we are going to foot the bill for building it and plan on keeping it in the family.” With a satisfied grin, Jared leaned back in his chair as he waited for her reaction. Sissy stirred in her sleep, and he reached through the bars of the crib to lay a comforting hand on her back. She stilled under his touch with a deep sigh.
Stevie looked a little pale. “Jared, you can’t… Clark will never…” She seemed at a loss for words and he laughed.
“We aren’t stupid. We’ll sell the home to you guys. We’ve already spoken to our accountant about how to finance it.” Jared grew serious. They were family, and Alex had his heart set on building the house for Clark.
Stevie looked thoughtful. Jared could almost see her thoughts spinning.
“If you are on board, I think he’ll go for it. We aren’t trying to manipulate either of you. I swear. It just seems crazy how we design and build all these fantastic new homes and…” Jared shrugged. “We want you guys to have that too. Alex has been crazy to design a house for your clan for a while. You should have seen how he dove into it.”
“I think…” Stevie laughed, a little shaken. “I think I better think about it, but a Douglas-Ross design? How does a sane person turn that down? Pantry? Walk-in Freezer?”
Jared nodded with a chuckle. “You can’t even imagine. He’s been like a kid with candy.”
“You’ll build us one of those tables, with all the leaves?” Her eyes shone and Jared knew he’d won. She was obviously already decorating in her mind.
“Sure, but your boys could just about handle that themselves. Jay, especially, has a fantastic talent for carpentry.”
* * * * *
The door opened as he finished speaking. Clark, followed closely by Alex, came into the room. They were laughing together and Clark didn’t seem to have heard anything they’d been discussing. Jared shot Stevie a warning look. She grinned at him and turned to her husband.
“Everything all settled?”
“The boys are busy proving their furniture assembly skills. Although, they were quite vocal about their offense that the baby is going to sleep in a store-bought crib,” Clark teased Jared. He offered Stevie his hand and pulled her to her feet.
“Then tell them to get busy and build a better one.” Jared told him with a laugh, but he didn’t sound like he was kidding.
Clark looked thoughtful. He didn’t notice when Stevie slipped away to corner Alex. “You think they could?”
“Sure, no reason why not. There are bound to be plans available online if they want to try. They have a key to the workshop.” Jared got to his feet and clapped a hand on Clark’s shoulder. “Maybe it’ll keep them busy for a bit.”
“God, if it gives Jay something to do besides chase…” Clark cleared his throat. “Never mind, anyhow it’ll be a good thing.”
“I know Jay’s gone a bit wild since he came out.” Jared offered what consolation he could. “It happens, Clark, just keep an eye on him. Make sure he’s as safe as you can.”
“I don’t know why he can’t be more like you and Alex,” Clark mourned. “Well, we better get back before Annie rebels against being left in charge. I’ll tell the boys what you said.” Clark glanced
at the baby sleeping peacefully in the crib under Jared’s hand. “Beautiful girl you’ve got there. That’s how it starts, you know…with one.” He laughed and went to claim his wife.
Jared watched from his chair as Clark tried and failed to find out what the pair had been whispering about. He looked disgruntled on his way out, muttering about conspiracies and traitors. Jared couldn’t quite make out if Alex or Stevie was the traitor.
Jared patted the arm of his chair, inviting Alex to come and sit close. Sissy snuffled and shifted around in the crib, drawing both sets of eyes before she quieted. Jared tugged Alex the rest of the way into his lap and leaned his head against his dark curls. Jared held Alex, and they watched the baby sleep for a long time before he broke the silence. “Have there been any problems with our taking her home when she’s released?”
“There were a couple bumps, but I called Masters and he got them smoothed out. I think there might be some quibble about race dynamics if we get the chance to adopt, but he assured me it’s nothing that can’t be overcome.” Alex huffed a short laugh. “Whoever thought race and not sexual orientation would be the thing between us and adopting?”
Jared carded his fingers through Alex’s hair without replying. He’d read about the recent reluctance to foster African-American children with white couples. It was about heritage, and he couldn’t even say he disagreed with all of the arguments. He thought the solution lay in making sure that all children in the system had access to learn about their heritage regardless of who cared for them.
“Do you think they mean celebrating Kwanza or something?” Alex asked after a while, making it clear their minds were on the same subject.
“No, I don’t think that’s it. Something less cut and dried. Let me think about it. She’s only five months old. We have a little time.” Jared wished he was actually as confident as he sounded, but he did have the seeds for a couple ideas he’d give himself time to see where they led. Lost in thought, he didn’t realize he’d dozed off until Alex’s stomach growled under his hand. Startled back to full awareness, Jared chuckled.
