From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Sat, Apr 20, 2019 at 11:09 PM
To: Florence Eakins
Subject: A surprise visit
Florence,
Mother stopped by the other day. I could have done without that. I don’t know what she told you, but I was on my way out when she surprised me. I had just taken a shower and so was in my bathrobe. I had a date in Old City that I needed to cancel because of her impromptu visit. Have you ever had Cuban food? I know your usual fare is American or Italian, but Cuban is truly something for the worldly. Well, perhaps if you ever visit, I will take you.
Speaking of, once again Mother is imploring that I visit Father. I never had anything to say to him when I was younger, so why would I have anything to say to him now? If I were to visit him, I am sure we would exhaust the niceties and small talk in under a minute and find ourselves in an awkward silence that I simply wouldn’t be able to bear. I would choose to leave under such a circumstance.
I had this thought the other day after coming across some words in the newspaper. I thought of Father, and I wonder if you remember how he would allow us to go on mispronouncing words, never correcting us or bothering with one shred of opinion either way about it. I remember believing that the word fetish was pronounced “feteesh,” and I repeated it well into my teenage years until I heard someone utter it correctly in class. I grew angry with Father (and with Mother, though she probably didn’t know any better either). I wasn’t angry because he simply wouldn’t correct me. I was angry because he didn’t care to take the time to teach me not only how to say it but what the word meant—for a mispronunciation to that extent is enough to make one wonder if I even know what I’m talking about! Why would I spend time with such an undynamic human being who let his daughters run around mispronouncing words? And do you remember that for years the entire family would say “salad” after every sneeze because of my simple misunderstanding when someone said “salud”? You, Mother, and Father (who was the worst offender) shouted “Salad!” after every sneeze. And like everything else, I only questioned it when every child in elementary school, as well as the teacher, went into hysterics at my ignorance. He really preferred us to be mindless, didn’t he? He must have been quite intimidated when I went to college and actually graduated. I think it’s a challenge for a person like him to accept that his offspring has its own original thoughts and beliefs. If he had it his way, I’d be running his general store like a mindless drone to this day, stocking shelves and bending to his every whim as he shouted orders from his hospice bed. No, thank you.
In other news, if there is anything you need to talk to someone about, you know I’m here. Mother didn’t tell me anything, so don’t blame her. You just tend to never tell me anything but very good news. I shared with you the trouble with my cat, so if you want to use our sisterly relationship for anything, feel free to dump your troubles (if you have any) on me. I’m here.
Fawn
From: Florence Eakins
Sent: Sun, Apr 21, 2019 at 9:17 AM
To: Fawn Birchill
Re: A surprise visit
Hi Fawn,
I didn’t know Mom paid you a surprise visit. She hasn’t mentioned anything about it to me. And I don’t remember Dad letting us run around mispronouncing words. Honestly, it doesn’t seem like that terrible of a sin in the big scheme of things.
Mom is only ever looking out for us, as annoying as it can be at times. I think she just needs things to do and worry about. I have enough to do and worry about, so it’s kind of nice knowing that someone else is thinking of me. Joseph sure as hell isn’t thinking of me.
Speaking of, I’m curious what Mom “didn’t tell you” about me, though I’m sure I can guess. She’s not the best at keeping secrets. I appreciate you reaching out to help—I really do—but I’m okay.
Flo
From: Mark Nilsen
Sent: Wed, Apr 24, 2019 at 4:11 PM
To: Fawn Birchill
Subject: Magician
Hi Fawn,
I thought you should know that Rainbow came into my store today with her rabbit to do some magic illusions. I had to ask her to either make a purchase or leave. I hate that I had to do this, but she was disrupting business. A little illusion here and there would have been okay, but she started vanishing customers’ cappuccinos and coffees. It was impressive until she couldn’t figure out how to rematerialize them. Not sure where they went and, by the look on her face, she didn’t seem too sure either.
I spoke with her, so I think she gets the message not to do this again. I’m just grateful she didn’t try this with one of the cats.
Mark
April 24
Dear Rainbow,
Please refrain from going to Mark’s store and performing illusions. Sadly not everyone, it seems, is an enthusiast for the sleight of hand.
Fawn, Landlord
P.S. If you manage to find those coffees, may I try one? I want to know what the big deal is, but I simply can’t bring myself to go in there.
May 6, 2019
My world has grown quite small. Besides Jane and Rainbow, I interact with so few people these days, though I’m finding it rather comforting in a strange, melancholy way. If I am to be undone, I blame Mr. Whitney and especially the nefarious Mark Nilsen. If I am to curl up in a hole for the rest of my life, it is thanks to all those who betrayed me, hurt me, and used me. I am not a Greek tragic heroine with hubris; I am a victim of the modern greed-ridden dangers of the world. Whoever thought that such stress could befall a person who just wanted to open an innocent little bookshop?
I read that Mark opened his store because it was his late mother’s dream to own a bookshop, but she was never able to get around to it because she had been ill for so long. I question the validity of that only because I know how skilled he is at turning sympathy into business. I suppose I could do the same, but I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. To say that Fawn Birchill wanted to open a used bookstore because she found comfort in books growing up with a tyrannical father, an ineffective mother, and a dull sister seems like a cry for pity. I can see the article now: Books allowed her to escape from her meager, militaristic upbringing until college, where she learned a thing or two about business and opened her very own store. There she excelled and watched her family’s reaction transition from mild amusement to muted jealousy. And now, twenty years on, she’s still sailing along. No, thank you. I’ll stick to merit and leave the pity mining to the amateurs.
Part of running a good business is not letting anyone know how bad things have really become. The way I see it, when things are at their worst, that’s when you advertise, when you fight. That’s when you evolve. Suddenly I find myself worrying that since I’ve grown quiet, my family and the public have caught on that something is not right. The thing is, I’m fine. Nothing here has changed.
In other news, Bert has caught two mice. The only downside is that he takes forever to kill them. I am left sitting down at my computer busying myself, trying not to focus on the squeaks of terror as he carries the mouse around in his mouth and uses it as his Ping-Pong ball. The last kill took an hour. I should have named him Gestapo.
Yesterday I caught my hand in the bathroom door. I sat down on the toilet seat lid for a long time just focusing on the dull, throbbing pain, and I had the clearest thoughts. Sometimes I think this place is nothing more than a cocoon from which I must emerge. I both love this place and hate it for what it has become—what the poisonous people like Angela, Kyle, Sam, Mark, and Mr. Whitney have allowed it to become. I let them have too much say, too much rein. I should not go back to the way things were before them, but I fear that continuing on this current path might also be detrimental. The bottom line is: I must not allow anyone into a position of decision-making or even give them the impression that their thoughts and ideas could be utilized. What I need are mindless servants who will do what they are told, who are too soft of mind to see that scraping gum from sidewalks is below them,
who don’t grumble when told to clean the bathroom, who don’t get upset when I give my own books away to loyal customers. It is my store! It is my store! And now that the vermin have been rid from the place, it is time to take it back.
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May 8
Dear Rainbow,
I noticed toward the back of the store that a certain person had made an impressive fort out of some of the books. If it was you, can you please put them back when you are done? I do not wish to get in the way of your creativity, but please be mindful that in my store, my customers do come first.
Many thanks,
Fawn, Landlord
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Sat, May 11, 2019 at 10:30 PM
To: Florence Eakins
Subject: Great time
Dear Florence,
I am not sure what to say regarding Little Joe’s play and performance this afternoon. It has taken me the train ride to gather my thoughts properly. Let me at least begin by saying that I always knew Little Joe was a talented young man, but I certainly hadn’t expected this. He has come a long way from his awkward screeching phase. Either you have found him an excellent teacher or he has come into his own naturally. The show was worth every penny they charged; however, I was pleasantly surprised to find that you had set aside an extra complimentary ticket in my name. I truly felt like the queen of England. What treatment!
I am so grateful for this but also grateful to have shared in a wonderful family moment. Even though I wasn’t able to stay long after the show, I am glad I was able to wish Little Joe congratulations. Perhaps he has a future on Broadway? It’s hard to get there, but he just might have what it takes!
If interested, I have a book in my inventory called How to Act & Eat at the Same Time by Tom Logan. If he’d like it, I can gift it to him. I’m not sure how one can write an entire book on acting while eating, but what do I know about it? Not much! I’ve oft watched actors such as Robert De Niro and Matt Damon sit down and eat a meal while delivering lines, and I hadn’t thought much about it until now. Surely there is an art to it that the layman like me doesn’t understand.
Many thanks,
Fawn
From: Florence Eakins
Sent: Sun, May 12, 2019 at 8:07 AM
To: Fawn Birchill
Re: Great time
Hi Fawn,
I’m so glad you enjoyed it! Little Joe was thrilled you were able to make it, even if he was bouncing all over the place after the show. He gets so excited after curtain call.
I asked him if he wanted to read a book on acting and he said he did, so please feel free to send it over or stop by sometime. It’s very appreciated! Also, I wonder if the title instead suggests learning to keep yourself fed and bills paid while being a working actor? Either way, great stuff to learn!
Thanks again,
Flo
From: Mark Nilsen
Sent: Sun, May 12, 2019 at 11:21 AM
To: Fawn Birchill
Subject: Regarding Ian McEwan
Hi Fawn,
Did your new employee actually stop by and harass my customer service manager about Ian McEwan’s visit? The price we are paying him is private; we won’t share it, so your strange tactics aren’t going to work.
Mark
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Sun, May 12, 2019 at 2:35 PM
To: Mark Nilsen
Re: Regarding Ian McEwan
Dear Mark,
My new volunteer worker, Jack, was merely asking your employee what they were paying Ian McEwan to come to their store. I’m sure you’ll be unhappy to find that Ian and I have been in contact, and he is considering visiting my bookshop as well as yours. This is not harassment but merely a business inquiry from one savvy businesswoman to another (though of course you are a man). I merely don’t want to short Ian or perhaps overpay him and embarrass you.
Since I walk by your store on a regular basis, I have in the past glanced in and seen Kyle Krazinsky at the counter or assisting customers; however, the last couple of times I failed to see him. Does he not work on Saturdays, or has he finally been fired? He worked for me for some time in the past and was a fairly competent employee but ended up being a little untrustworthy. I think he was the one who stole thousands of dollars’ worth of my books. I always found it a little suspicious that he quit shortly after I asked him to start keeping inventory. He is most likely running a nice racket online. If you haven’t fired him yet, keep an eye out.
Best,
Fawn
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Mon, May 13, 2019 at 10:09 AM
To: Jack Grisby
Subject: Books in the Basement
Dear Jack,
Please go down to the basement and identify which books do not have mold on them, bring them up, and shelve them in the former Mark Twain Room. It will become the Miscellaneous Room now. I think we have purged enough Tom Sawyer books to finally rid ourselves of the “specialist” status.
Fawn, Owner
May 15, 2019
I think the new person I hired is a bit slow. Either that or he doesn’t know what to think of me. Sometimes when I speak to him, his eyes become very wide and he just nods as if what I am saying to him is the word of God. As long as he does what he is told, I don’t really care what he thinks of me. I am finished trying to be friends with my employees.
I had a most revelatory thought yesterday that Kyle never used me as his reference for the Grumpy Mug. I wonder if he had even put my shop on his résumé to begin with (though he should have, as it would have left a gaping hole in his résumé, and employers hate to see that). I wonder if perhaps he had Angela or Sam give him a reference and if they feigned a managerial position to sound authoritative. I don’t understand what frightens Kyle about using me as his reference. I am fair and honest, and I have been in this business for many years. Though, all that said, I would have probably turned down giving him a reference if they had called me, so it’s probably for the best that they didn’t bother. By law I am not allowed to say terrible things about previous employees; however, I believe my silence would have been more than enough to hammer the nail into the coffin.
I have not heard back from Ian McEwan. I wonder if my letters go into a dark void in outer space. Or perhaps, because of the Mark Twain incident, all authors have written me off. I wonder if they are all that tight-knit and band together against certain letter-writers and fans. I do hope not.
THE CURIOUS CAT BOOK EMPORIUM
Blog Post #4
Employee Profile: Jack Grisby II
For this blog entry, we are going to do a quick profile on the newest employee, Jack Grisby II.
Jack Grisby II
Hometown: Chestnut Hill
Favorite Book: The Da Vinci Code
Favorite Food: Chipotle (the chain)
Favorite Pastime: I can sit for hours and look at my hands and be totally entertained. I also like waiting for toasters to be done.
Favorite Music: Music that’s emotional
Role Model: My dad, and Ryan Gosling
Goals and Aspirations: To one day fly in a hot-air balloon, to one day swim faster than my brother Chuck, to one day be an actor in Hollywood like Ryan Gosling.
Something People Don’t Know About Me: I have a hard time memorizing lines so I sometimes write them on the insides of my arms. I hope I never have to do Shakespeare.
Favorite Quote: “Love is like a butterfly. Hold it too tight and you will crush it; hold it too loose and it will fly away.” My acting teacher told us this and said you can apply it to acting, but I’m sti
ll not sure how they connect. I still like the quote, though. I’d like a girlfriend to try it out on.
Fawn Birchill/CuriousCatBooks/4m
Fawn here! What #classic novel do you want to see made into a #movie that hasn’t been? #Post your answer!
From: Jack Grisby
Sent: Sun, May 19, 2019 at 7:13 PM
To: Fawn Birchill
Subject: Commercial
Dear Fawn,
I was watching a Big Bang Theory rerun and a commercial for Geico came on and I looked up their annual revinue and they actually do really well as a company so I thought well what if we did something like that? I mean TV commericials, not insurance.
Jack
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Sun, May 19, 2019 at 8:17 PM
To: Jack Grisby
Re: Commercial
Jack,
Though that is a terribly smart idea, I do not believe I have the time with all that is going on to write up a script or devise any clever ideas for hooking people. I appreciate that you are thinking of different ways to reach out to a greater audience, however. It is touching to know that someone besides me is strategizing—and on the weekend!
Fawn, Owner
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Mon, May 20, 2019 at 8:09 AM
To: Jack Grisby
Subject: The Floor
Jack,
I understand that you were trying to help, and I appreciate your effort, coming in early to “surprise me.” I know very little about wooden floors, but what I do know is that one should never ever take a Brillo pad to original hardwood flooring. I am not sure how to handle this seeing how the entire downstairs floor is now stripped and covered in scrapes. I wonder, Jack, at what point you realized your mistake—or was it only when I pointed it out to you? Clearly, you do not think this is an improvement? I am sorry I am writing this in an email, but I believe a face-to-face talk would result in nothing but a lot of yelling.
Confessions of a Curious Bookseller Page 22
