All the love and a pot of gold,
Rainbow and Jellybean
If I do say so myself, I think I did pretty well capturing what she wrote before the disappearing ink she used rendered all her words extinct. (Thankfully, the cash did not go the way of the ink.)
I will now tell Jack the news. I know he won’t take it well, for I think he might have had a little crush on her.
From: Mark Nilsen
Sent: Fri, Jul 12, 2019 at 8:32 AM
To: Fawn Birchill
Subject: Coffees
Hi Fawn,
I’m a little baffled this morning. I walked in to find two freshly made cappuccinos and two black coffees (the exact drinks that were vanished by your magician friend) steaming on the coffee counter. I was the only person here this morning to open, and after checking last night’s footage, I have no explanation for how they suddenly appeared on the counter.
This is kind of freaking me out. I am not accusing you or her of doing anything because the footage definitely proves no one was here. On top of that, the alarm never went off. What do you think?
Mark
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Fri, Jul 12, 2019 at 10:16 AM
To: Mark Nilsen
Re: Coffees
Hi Mark,
Rainbow has gone off to AC to perform magic tricks in one of the casinos, so I’m not sure how this is possible. Perhaps she was paying her debts, though I, too, remain entirely perplexed as to how this could have happened, unless you are spinning me quite the yarn. That said, I’m not sure why you’d lie about this.
Equally baffled,
Fawn
PSB Classifieds
1br—800-sq-ft Gorgeous Victorian-Era Apartment—West Philadelphia—$1,200/mo (Utilities Included)
Laundry in the unit. Small balcony off bedroom overlooking a tennis court (not ours, someone else’s). No AC, but stays cool in summer. Hardwood flooring throughout. Reliable appliances. No bugs, no bats, and very few mice. Some closet space. No basement access. Great for college student or single person, or perhaps a couple that likes cozy quarters. Lots of sunlight. Kitties allowed!
Fawn Birchill/CuriousCatBooks/1m
Fawn here! The #CCBE: chock-full of personality—literally by the thousands! Come meet them all at the #CCBE!!
To: Jack Grisby >
12:20 PM
Funeral started. How is everything going?
To: Fawn Birchill >
12:25 PM
OMG A sink hole took store
To: Jack Grisby >
12:30 PM
What? What do you mean?
To: Jack Grisby >
12:35 PM
Is it gone? Get Bert!
To: Fawn Birchill >
12:36 PM
Why?
To: Jack Grisby >
12:37 PM
WHY?? Don’t ask why, just get him! I am leaving.
To: Jack Grisby >
12:38 PM
Are u okay? Sry I didn’t ask!
To: Jack Grisby >
12:38 PM
Jack???
From: Mark Nilsen
Sent: Mon, Jul 15, 2019 at 7:16 AM
To: Fawn Birchill
Subject: Thank you
Hi Fawn,
Writing from home today—if I was in the area I would stop by, but it’s hard to come up there right now. I just want to say again, thank you from the bottom of my heart for saving my cats. I honestly don’t know what I’d do if I had lost all of them too. I don’t know how to repay you or what to really say here. Just know that I’m thinking of you and hoping all the bruises and scrapes that you and Jack have endured heal quickly. You’re a really good person. Don’t let anyone, especially me, ever tell you otherwise.
See you soon,
Mark
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Mon, Jul 15, 2019 at 9:09 AM
To: Mark Nilsen
Re: Thank you
Mark,
You need not thank me, but instead thank Jack. If he hadn’t texted me and made me think my own store had fallen into a hole, I probably wouldn’t have run from my father’s funeral to try to rescue the store. Imagine my fright!
Anyway, the cats’ agility and Jack’s quick timing really had everything to do with it. And then, climbing over fallen shelves that had poured onto the street, retrieving the animals, grabbing them by the scruff of their necks and pulling—I have never felt more useful in my life. It is a nice feeling, rescuing cats. I should do it more often! Next time, however, I’ll try not to get scratched so much.
Yes, I walked away with a few scrapes, and the firefighter who grabbed me off that one shelf certainly gave me quite a bruise, but it was all worth it! My bad back didn’t even cry out in protest. Even when the fireman yelled at me and said that what Jack and I were doing was extremely idiotic and dangerous, I didn’t regret a moment of it. I am so happy that we were able to save all five cats, even though most of your books were lost. Still, just think if you were open on Sundays. You might have lost not only books but all your loyal customers to the hellmouth. What a thought!
It is oft believed that firemen are the ones who save cats from precarious circumstances, but alas, I believe yesterday proved that it is only a fable, for those firemen didn’t seem interested in pulling any cats out of the store. I think they were hoping there would be people inside to rescue, so they became bored when they arrived to find there were only cats to save. Either that or all of them are dog people.
I can’t imagine the amount of duress you must be under right now. But! You are now in the safety of your home, where you can lick your wounds and hold your cats a little tighter tonight. Tomorrow will be a new day. An obvious notion, but inspiring all the same.
Also, you are young. You will simply take it on the chin and fight another day. Perhaps at another location?
Sincerely,
Fawn
From: Florence Eakins
Sent: Mon, Jul 15, 2019 at 9:40 AM
To: Fawn Birchill
Subject: ANSWER YOUR PHONE!!
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Mon, Jul 15, 2019 at 10:03 AM
To: Florence Eakins
Re: ANSWER YOUR PHONE!!
Dear Florence,
After listening to your scathing voice mail, I wish not to subject myself to one of your ranting phone calls. No doubt you made sure that people were around to hear you—another reason I am abstaining from feeding your “heroic,” self-righteous displays in front of the family.
I feel as if I am in a position to defend myself for my “troubling behavior,” as you put it, at Father’s funeral. I wasn’t merely “texting,” as you say, as if I were an insolent teenager sending love notes. And the fact that you describe my physicality as “fidgety” is insulting at the very least.
I will have you know that halfway through the dreadfully morose proceedings, I received a text from my employee informing me that the store had fallen into a sinkhole. Now Jack, in his haste, failed to give proper context, and I was left to assume that my store had been destroyed when really it was my competitor’s store down the street. Still, I didn’t know this, so I ran out to save my business, my livelihood, and of course Bert. And you tell me that I was needlessly texting? You tell me that I was rude? I am only sorry that I didn’t explain it to you at the time. I wish I had known how important your opinion is, especially since (as you admit) you made sure the entire family knew just how I behaved at “my own father’s funeral.” Feel free to clear my name with the rest of the family. No doubt you will to save face. I’m sure you wouldn’t want me to go around putting out your fire.
Best,
Fawn
From: Jack Grisby
Sent: Mon, Jul 15, 2019 at 10:12 AM
To: Fawn Birchill
Subject: Day off
Hi Fawn,
Is it okay if I don’t go to work today and get a tetnis shot? Mom says I nee
d one. How was the funeral? Do you like that I’m using more punctuation?
Jack.
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Mon, Jul 15, 2019 at 10:30 AM
To: Jack Grisby
Re: Day off
Jack,
Yes, of course you can. I am sorry you have to go and get a tetanus shot. Let me know how everything goes.
The funeral was fine, thank you. Mother was a wreck and foolishly flung herself over his casket in the middle of church. Who does she think she is, Meryl Streep? The nicest thing my father ever did for her was tell her when she had food in her teeth. I am grateful to have been pulled out of there.
Fawn, Owner
P.S. You are doing a great job on the punctuation. Your emails no longer make me feel as if I’m on a roller coaster operated by Jake Barnes on a bender.
PSB Classifieds
1br—800-sq-ft GORGEOUS, STUNNING Victorian-Era Apartment—on Clark Park—$1,200/mo UTILITIES INCLUDED!!!!
Laundry in the unit! Small balcony off bedroom overlooking a tennis court! Stays cool in summer! Hardwood flooring throughout. Reliable appliances. No bugs, no bats, and rarely mice! Closet space! No basement access. Great for college student or single person, or perhaps a couple that likes cozy quarters! Lots of sunlight! Kitties allowed!
From: Gregory Harris
Sent: Tue, Jul 16, 2019 at 8:00 AM
To: Fawn Windsor
Subject: Update
Dear Fawn,
That’s it; I’ve done it! I have purchased myself a ticket to Philly, and you better believe a visit to the emporium is on the books. I am very excited to see it and your American counterpart. How are you doing, my dear?
Regards,
Gregory
From: Fawn Windsor
Sent: Tue, Jul 16, 2019 at 11:13 AM
To: Gregory Harris
Re: Update
Gregory,
I am ever so excited that you will be in Philadelphia in August! Not that I will be there to greet you, but that you have solidified your plans. One mustn’t go through life never experiencing this city. And contrary to what I told you, Fawn’s store is doing so much better because, you see, a sinkhole has taken her nemesis’s store. It wasn’t a terrible sinkhole where everything was just gone—but it was almost that bad. The back of the store fell in first, causing the front of the store to topple back and out. Fawn and her first mate (as she likes to call him), Jack, ran in and rescued all the cats with expert speed—or so I’ve been told. The owner truly owes her a great debt of gratitude. And you should have seen him! The day after she rescued his cats, he paid a visit to her store, bringing with him a large bouquet of wildflowers. It was just about the kindest thing that has ever happened to her.
And since then, due to his store’s vanishing act, customer volume has gone up! It’s funny, when it comes right down to it, how tenuous loyalty can be.
In my news, life is dull. The mornings are hot and foggy, and most days it has rained. I may take a trip to the south of Spain just to get away from this dreadful British weather.
Much love,
Fawn Windsor
Advertisement
BRING YOUR PET TO THE BOOKSTORE DAY!
Stop by the Curious Cat Book Emporium this Saturday, July 20, for our first annual Bring Your Pet to the Bookstore Day! Just because the Grumpy Mug Bookstop is no longer with us does not mean we can’t sit around some precious tomes and cuddle with our beloved pets! Every participant gets a free cup of coffee. Free dog treats will also be available.
Animals must be leashed or restrained at all times. They MUST be housebroken. The following animals will not be allowed in the store: snakes, rats, mice, squawking birds, monkeys, hamsters, horses (oversize animals of any kind), and ferrets.
From: Jack Grisby
Sent: Sat, Jul 20, 2019 at 6:45 AM
To: Fawn Birchill
Subject: Animals
Hi Fawn,
I am really worried about today. Will the dogs be leashed? Will they be with their owners all the time? I am really worried about this. Can I stay in the basement.
Jack
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Sat, Jul 20, 2019 at 7:46 AM
To: Jack Grisby
Re: Animals
Jack,
There is nothing to worry about. If they “go” in the store, please be ready to clean it. I will, of course, then ask the guilty party to leave.
Fawn, Owner
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Sat, Jul 20, 2019 at 7:18 PM
To: Jack Grisby
Re: Animals
Jack,
Thank you for your help and your bravery today. I know being around that little poodle was hard for you. Even though we only had that one participant plus Mark who brought Scooch, it was still well worth it.
Fawn, Owner
From: Tabitha Birchill
Sent: Sun, Jul 21, 2019 at 11:01 AM
To: Fawn Birchill
Subject: Will
Dear Fawn,
I hope you plan to attend the reading of your father’s will on the twenty-fourth. If you need it, Florence and I would be happy to pick you up at the train station before and drop you off there after.
Life has been so strange without him. Often when I lie in bed at night, I can still feel the weight of his body beside me, and I can still smell his Preferred Stock cologne. I know he wasn’t in bed with me the last few months, but he was at least alive. In my heart I think I hoped he would come home. But now it is clear he will not, so that missing weight beside me is all the more difficult. I hope that you are faring all right through this. Know that you can always talk to me. I know you had a complicated relationship with him, but he loved you very much—even though he showed it in funny ways.
Love you,
Mother
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Sun, Jul 21, 2019 at 2:12 PM
To: Tabitha Birchill
Re: Will
Mother,
Of course I’ll be there, although I can’t imagine there is much to be gained for any of us. As Father promised, he wanted to give his money to the church, and he keeps his promises. This is the same church that has a brand-new playground, gorgeous facilities, and state-of-the-art sound system for their concerts. The pastor of this same church drives around in a Benz, I believe—or so he did the last time I saw him a few years ago. Is he invited to hear the will as well? He might as well be, since I’m sure he will be reaping the benefits of my late father more than you, Florence, or I will.
Fawn
July 21, 2019
It would be refreshing to hear that Father has given his inheritance to Florence and me, but that would be far too perfect. So it will never happen. With a little money, I could repair the store: fix the rotting foundation, buy a new heating system, eradicate the mold problem, hire a maid, fix the wooden floors, repair the sagging steps on the stairs, repair the shutters, fix the few smashed-in windows, landscape the small lawn outside, buy a nice new sign, purchase some new books to sell. I could turn a corner. I could rise like a phoenix from the ashes of my father’s death and be whole again, and Mark Nilsen would be nothing but a blip in the distant dark past. And with all of that, I wouldn’t be ashamed to invite Florence and her family over. I wouldn’t be ashamed to bring a romantic interest around.
But how could I be ashamed of my little empire? Though it isn’t perfect, it is not worthy of shame. It is perhaps a reflection of who I am and what I have worked so hard for, and maybe my great expectations have imploded in my face. But isn’t that reality? Do we ever live up to what we thought we would be? And so here I am, but am I ashamed? Was Father ever ashamed? His store was a disaster even in its heyday. And then, those last hard years when he started to cognitively decline and I had to do everything to keep the store running so my parents could pay their bills. And Florence, who did nothing to help but instead found excuse after excuse, hidin
g behind a voice lesson for Little Joe or a work event at the office. And even in those hard days, my father was not ashamed. He ran his ship into the rocks with more pride than was good for him. And when I didn’t want his failing store, it hurt him more than I would ever know. That was to be my inheritance, so the reading of his will is going to be pointless for me because the one thing he ever wanted to give me was that store, and I didn’t take it. Instead, I forged my own path, and I know it broke his heart to see that. And a part of me is sorry that I made him feel that way.
From: Jack Grisby
Sent: Mon, Jul 22, 2019 at 8:09 AM
To: Fawn Birchill
Subject: The Sale Cart
Hi Fawn,
The sale cart lost it’s wheel. I can’t attach it again so I don’t know what to do.
Jack
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Mon, Jul 22, 2019 at 8:55 AM
To: Jack Grisby
Re: The Sale Cart
Jack,
Simply drag it outside and prop it upright with a book. I’ll be down in a moment.
Fawn, Owner
From: Jack Grisby
Sent: Mon, Jul 22, 2019 at 9:07 AM
To: Fawn Birchill
Re: The Sale Cart
But what if someone wanted to buy that book? That is a lost sale. Or if they see it they will pull it out and look at it and then the book shelf will topple maybe. Can I put a not for sale sign on it?
Jack
From: Fawn Birchill
Sent: Mon, Jul 22, 2019 at 9:23 AM
To: Jack Grisby
Re: The Sale Cart
Jack,
Confessions of a Curious Bookseller Page 27
