Kansas Heat

by Kansas Heat (lit)

  Mounting the remainder of the steps, he kicked in the front door. There, in the light, he paused to look down at her. She swallowed down the panic as she read determination in every hard angle of his face.

  “Since we got a lifetime to enjoy, there really is no need to rush this moment. Is there, baby girl?”

  No. Wait. This isn’t going the way I planned.

  Too late, Jace kicked the front door closed behind him.

  Chapter 46

  Saturday, July 26th

  “You hungry?”

  Cody perked up at the sound of Jace’s voice. Wincing, Cody dragged himself upright along the headboard. Yeah, he hurt, and if it were up to his two brothers, Cody would probably be in more pain before the day ended. He didn’t really care. No amount of physical pain could make him feel worse than the knowledge of what he’d done.

  Moving deeper into the bedroom, Jace set the tray of cold cereal and milk across Cody’s thighs. The small weight made Cody cringe again, not that reaching for the glass of orange juice made him smile.

  “You think you need to go to the doctor?” Jace settled down onto the edge of the bedside chair. “Maybe get those ribs looked at?”

  “They’re just bruised.” Cody’s voice wavered even as he spoke.

  Jace shrugged. “They’re your ribs.”

  “Yeah.” Cody paused over his OJ to take a deep breath. “See? I can breathe with no pain. No pain, no break, right?”

  Jace snorted at such an accomplishment. “Well, I’m sure Knox will fix that for you in the near future.”

  Cody smirked. It showed how little Jace knew. Knox had already gotten in a good number of hits last night. Of course, Knox being Knox, he might feel the need to add a few more today, once he heard all the details. Glancing from the door to Jace, he had ask, “Speaking of, where exactly is Knox?”

  “Out working.”

  “I’m surprised. I would have thought he…”

  “Would have come in here at first light and torn you from stem to stern?”

  The hard edge in Jace’s tone made it clear, he and Knox had already talked. “Oh, so you do know.”

  “Yeah,” Jace nodded. “I got the full briefing after Knox came home and helped make sure Amanda was too tired to ask where your drunk ass was.”

  Cody nodded. “Well, I’m sure he’ll have more to say.”

  “All he said was you had to tell Amanda what happened.”

  He greeted Jace’s quiet statement with silence as he stared forlornly into his glass. Finally, Cody sighed and rolled his shoulders forward. “He’s probably thinking there won’t even be enough remains to identify me after she’s done.”

  “I don’t know about that.”

  “I do. That girl is going to explode and rightly so.” Their eyes met, and Cody could see Jace understood. “If I tell her about the necklace, she’ll just be more hurt. If I don’t, then how am I supposed to explain?”

  “I can’t answer that for you.” Jace smiled slightly. “Honestly, Amanda’s going to find out about the necklace at some point. That’s just Knox being dumbass Knox. What you did last night…it’s going to hurt her, but it doesn’t have to be fatal.”

  “It doesn’t have to be?” Cody shook his head. “I might have been tanked last night, Jace, but I have a really good memory of telling the entire ballroom that Sherri Dixon was a cheap and easy cunt, just like every other woman in this town. If I remember correctly, I went on to pledge my undying devotion and love to Sharon.”

  Jace just stared at Cody, appearing unmoved. When he spoke, Cody knew it wasn’t an act. “If that’s all you remember saying, then you’ve forgotten some of the better parts.”

  “Why?” Cody felt a numbness come over him as he tried to think of what he’d done. “Did I say anything about Amanda? I know I didn’t do anything to her.”

  Jace said nothing, just stared back until Cody wished he felt well enough to hit his brother. He had to settle for just yelling at him and bearing the cost to his aching head. “What?”

  “What do you think you could have said to Sherri that would overshadow the gossip of you pledging your love to a dead woman and then starting a brawl in the middle of Henry’s formal?”

  He asked it so calmly Cody couldn’t believe it would be the answer leaping first to his mind. Some small gesture gave away his thoughts because Jace confirmed them. Leaning forward in his seat, Jace delivered the bad news in a whisper.

  “That’s right, Cody. I already got four calls. Sherri is telling everybody when she asked you if you were with Amanda, you told her Amanda prefers to fuck and suck your brothers’ cocks more than yours.”

  It was like the gates of Hell had opened, but it turned out to be cold burn. Freezing, actually. Cody swallowed down the unpleasant sensation of panic. He hadn’t felt it too often in his life but knew it well enough to diagnosis the frenzied scatter of every single cell in his body.

  “Oh, my God!” They clapped back together at Amanda’s horrified exclamation. She was in the doorway and a blink later at his bedside. “What in the world happened to you?”

  In the fine tradition of women, Amanda immediately set about pampering and fussing over him. Cody caught Jace’s hard look and nodded, accepting what he, and he alone, had to do.

  “Well,” pushing out of the chair, Jace rose, “I guess I’ll leave you in Amanda’s hands now.”

  He paused to drop a quick kiss on Amanda’s head. She didn’t even seem to notice, too concerned about Cody’s comfort. “Don’t fuss over him too much, darlin’. He deserved what he got.”

  “What a rotten thing to say about your brother.” She smacked him on his arm. “You be nice, or I’ll be mean.”

  “How about I get while the getting is good,” Jace shot back at her.

  “I’d say you are a bright man, Jace Reese.”

  Cody watched as Jace gave Amanda a hug from behind. He knew what his brother was thinking. In ten minutes, Amanda would be out the door, never to come back. The sadness was there in Jace’s features, in the deepening of his tone as he spoke.

  “I love you, Amanda. Don’t forget that.”

  Cody scowled at the finality in Jace’s words. Fortunately, Amanda misread his intent. With a forward step out of his arms, she shot Jace a dirty look over her shoulder. “Don’t think all the poetry in the world is going to get you out of our talk. You and Knox have some explaining to do about those dates.”

  Jace smirked. “I’m going to hold you to talking with me later.”

  “Geez.” Amanda rolled her eyes and shot Cody a grin. “You’d think he was the one being put out. What is this?” She lifted his spoon to swirl his cereal around the bowl.

  “Amanda—”

  “Fruit Loops? Oh, for God’s sake. You don’t need to be eating this crap.”

  “It’s alright. I’m not really—”

  “No it’s not. You need to a thick, hearty breakfast in your condition. Protein and nutrients help heal bruises, not sugar.” Amanda lifted the tray up as if she intended to carry it right back out of the room. He caught her hands in his at the last moment, forcing her arms to lower the tray back into place.

  “Amanda, please! We need to talk.”

  She must have heard something in his tone. Amanda stilled, her eyes lifted to meet his. Despite her almost hyper attention to his health, he could see the darkness lingering in her eyes. Try as she might to cover it up, he knew he’d hurt her last night even without knowing everything.

  “Fine.” With a deep breath, Amanda released the tray and straightened up. “What do you want to talk about?”

  He really didn’t want to do this. He just had no choice. With a steadying breath, he tried to begin. “Last night, I—”

  “Was a complete jackass,” Amanda finished for him. “Yeah. Believe it or not, I remember. Trust me, I woke up this morning totally intending to beat your ass, but seeing as how somebody else beat me to it, I guess I’ll—”

  “Will you shut up!” God, having her ram
ble on was worse than saying what he needed to say. He needed to say it because it was burning a hole in his throat. “Please, just let me say what I got to say.”

  “You really don’t understand the art of an apology at all. Do you, Cody?”

  An apology? He hadn’t even started the confession.

  “Look, Cody. I’ll save you the headache of apologizing if you just tell me why. What did I do to make you so mad at me?”

  Cody’s head hit the back of the headboard as he closed out the sight of Amanda’s pain. It took him so long to get through all her defenses and actually get close to her. In his gut he knew what came next would shatter that connection. Worse, the pieces would fall down as bricks in a new wall she’d build to hide herself behind.

  “Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Amanda breathed out the words softly. “Well,” the tray lifted off his thighs, “why don’t I just go make you a more appropriate breakfast. I’m surprised Lydia hasn’t gotten on it already. Really, where is that woman when you need her?”

  Before he could stop her, Amanda escaped, clearly not wanting to be in the same room as him. Problem was, time wouldn’t heal Amanda’s pain. Only Cody could do that, and it meant overcoming his own.

  It required strength, though, to drag his tired ass body out of bed. Cody didn’t let physical aches deter him. Through the nausea and piercing sharp pains that came, he managed to pull on a pair of jeans and went trailing after Amanda.

  He found her in the kitchen. True to her word, she’d already pulled out the bacon and the eggs. They rested on the counter while her butt stuck out from behind the refrigerator door. He could hear her muttering to herself as she shoved things around.

  “Stupid jackass. Figures he’d get his ass beat just to screw me out of revenge. Now I got to make his sorry ass breakfast.”

  Her words made him smile. The small gesture hurt, a reminder of just how much he had lost. He might love Amanda, but that wouldn’t stop him from losing her. “It’s just not fair, is it?”

  Amanda jerked upright, her eyes widening on him a second before narrowing. Cody didn’t expect her to be embarrassed at being caught complaining, and she obviously wasn’t.

  “What are you doing out of bed?” She slammed the refrigerator door shut. “Damnit, Cody. You’re hurt, and you need to lie down.”

  She came at him like she intended to corral him right back into bed. Arms out, mad face on, he caught her just before Amanda latched onto his hands. The sudden reversal threw her for a moment and gave him just enough time to turn her and force her down onto one of the kitchen stools.

  “What—”

  “No.” Cody covered her lips with a finger before she could get to the second word. “I talk, you listen. Understand?”

  Obviously annoyed, she still remained quiet, waiting with pointed patience for him to speak.

  “Last night I was a jackass to you.”

  Duh. She said it without saying a word. Her eyes rolled, her brows lifted and even her lips twitched with just a subtle enough motion to speak volumes.

  “I know you want to know why…” Should he take Knox down with him? Prepare her for the fatal blow he’d deliver in a moment with a first round volley? “You know I care a great deal about you, Amanda. In fact, I…you’re just really important to me, and I don’t want you to not be here.”

  Why couldn’t he just say he loved her? Cody knew he did, but the words failed him, and he blundered on without them. “Sometimes, though, I feel like you care more about Knox and Jace, and it makes me a little jealous.”

  Straightening up in her seat, Cody could sense he had her full attention. “I shouldn’t have taken it out on you last night, but I did.”

  “Oh, Cody.” Amanda sighed and lifted off the chair. Before he knew what was going on, she was hugging him. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you or make you feel bad.”

  Oh, crap.

  This hadn’t gone the way he’d intended. He had wanted to rationalize his behavior without throwing Knox and his damn necklace under the bus. Instead, he’d thrown himself further under. Once she heard the rest of what he had to say, she’d look at this moment as an attempt to manipulate her into feeling responsible for his actions.

  “I don’t mean to show favor to your older brothers.” Amanda stepped back to frame his face with her hands. The look in her eyes was so sad, so sincere, Cody felt the pain inside him twist to even more poignant depths.

  “You know I care about you, don’t you Cody? No more or less than Knox or Jace. You’re all special to me, equally special.”

  Fuck! He could have hit something, wished it could have been himself. Cody had screwed this conversation up in the worst possible way, but he had no choice but to go forward. This had to be done, and it had to be done now. With that renewed strength of will, Cody clasped her wrists and forced her back onto the stool. This time though he held her there, pinned into startled place.

  “Listen to me, Amanda. I’m trying to tell you that I had too much to drink last night, and I said things I shouldn’t have said.”

  Amanda scowled, cocking her head. “You said things? What do you mean?”

  Cody swallowed. This was it. “I don’t really remember everything, but Sherri Dixon approached me and—”

  “Sherri Dixon? That tramp?” Amanda snorted. “Please don’t tell me you flirted with her?”

  “No,” Cody snapped, appalled that she would even think he would betray her in the slightest, drunk or not. “But she did ask…and according to Sherri, she asked about you.”

  “About me?” Amanda frown didn’t lighten despite her smirk. “What did she ask about me for?”

  “She asked where you were.” Cody gave her a pointed look. “You know, like where is your girlfriend right now? Do you have a moment to slip away?”

  “Oh, I am so going—”

  “According to the gossip, I told her you preferred to suck and fuck my brothers’ cocks.”

  Cody just blurted it out, wanting to be free of the revelation, so he could just move onto the hurt. The very least Cody had expected was to be hit, but Amanda just stared at him. Backing into the stool, she lost her balance and sat.

  “And is that really what you said?”

  Cody sighed and rolled his shoulders. “I don’t know. I know I shouted a whole bunch of asshole things about women.”

  “Derogatory things,” Amanda tacked on what he left off.

  Cody nodded. “Bad, bad things and then I pledged my undying love to Sharon.”

  Given the girth of his confession, Cody actually wondered if he should even tell her that. It might or not make it into the gossip, but really all it did was hurt Amanda. She just sat there staring at him with a sort of vacant look, and for what? Nothing. He’d just been drunk.

  “Amanda, please say something.”

  “You’re hurting my wrists.”

  “What?” Cody’s head snapped down as his hands sprung free of her arms. He forgot he was holding onto her. The red chafe marks against her pale skin stood as a stark statement about his situation.

  “Oh, baby. I’m so sorry. I—”

  “I don’t want to talk to you.” She cut him off and held him silent with the sheer calmness in her tone.

  This was not what he had been expecting at all. The one thing that had always attracted him to Amanda had been her passion. It had been reasonable to expect her to explode. Hell, that’s why his brothers had fled the house, because down to the last man they’d all imagined the fires of her rage leaping right out of her eyes to consume any idiot in the way.

  That flame wasn’t there now. The glow in her eyes had dimmed. They’d taken on a dead, remote look. It matched the mechanical, controlled movements of her body as she stood and worked her way around him as if he were nothing more than a pillar or post in her way.

  With cold dread unfurling through his body, he watched as she walked away. The even clacks of her footsteps hammered in a new stone in the wall he could feel her building around
herself. Made of pure ice and capable of withstanding the fiery heat of her rage, Cody could feel her disconnecting from him completely.

  “Amanda.” He had to try because very soon she’d finish erecting her wall, and there would be no more opportunities. “Please.”

  She paused but didn’t even bother to look back at him. “I don’t want to talk to you.”

  With that, she turned the corner and disappeared out of sight.

  Chapter 47

  Amanda tried to figure out what she was feeling but couldn’t reason it through. So everybody knew she was having a three-way ménage with the Reese brothers, but her reputation had been weathered enough over the years for this not to cost her anything.

  The worst she’d endure were the looks and the whispers, but Amanda wouldn’t lose friends over it. Maybe if she had a nice job she would be concerned, but her little clerk’s desk would be hers as long as she showed up on time and didn’t get arrested for any violent offenses.

  Nothing to lose, so why did she feel so horrified? It had been her last night challenging Knox to tell the world. What had changed? Something had because all Amanda could feel was numbness vibrating through her body.

  It consumed any emotion trying to peek out and left her with no other guide than her brain. Cold reason helped her to start answering all the questions circling in her brain. Some were old, others new, but none were pleasant.

  Even the solace of Jace’s room couldn’t fill her with comfort. Crawling up onto his bed, Amanda breathed in Jace’s scent and kept on thinking. There was a reason she was so upset. It was clear as day.

  The world knowing she loved three men and they loved her back didn’t bother Amanda at all. The world knowing three men had used her for her body did. It was time to stop living in fantasy land and face the truth of what Cody said. His undying love to Sharon.

  At least he had the honesty to say it and finally put an end to the subject that had haunted their entire relationship. Amanda was their second choice, and she didn’t compare. Not even for Jace, who cried out to Sharon in his sleep.