“I don’t want to hear it, Knox. More than half of this is all your fucking fault.” Cody came back out of his corner and this time Jace got his ass off the cot. “Are you happy now? You always wanted to chase Amanda away, and look what you did.”
“Me? I’m not the ass who told the whole town our personal secrets and humiliated her in the process.”
“You never cared about her.”
“I love her!”
“You almost killed her!”
Jace couldn’t get between them in time. It took five minutes and three deputies to break them apart. Knox being the biggest got the worst of the cops’ annoyance and ended up shoved into his own cell. Jace got Cody’s bleeding ass and as things calmed down, he stared at his brother, wondering, “maybe you’re the one trying to kill himself.”
With his left eye already swollen closed, Cody could only glare out of his right one, blinking around the blood dripping down his brow. “I resent that.”
“You going to beat me up too?”
“If I had the energy.”
“You know, being mad and tearing into everything isn’t going to help.”
“And what is?” Cody snorted. “Giving up? I mean seriously, Jace, you of all people are walking away from Amanda?”
Jace sighed and looked up the gray wall over Cody’s shoulder. “I love her. I don’t want to be the thing that hurts her.”
“And you can live without her?” Cody asked. “Because that’s a lot harder than it sounds, trust me.”
That had Jace’s gaze snapping back to his brother. “Trust you? Why? Because you loved Sharon more than the rest of us, so now you suffer more?”
It was Cody’s turn to look away, not wanting to say whatever Jace already knew. For three years, they’d left everything go unsaid and now Jace could see how it had torn them apart. It had to stop. He couldn’t lose everything.
“I guess you’re right,” Jace relented. “I mean, she loved you and only you enough to want only you to move to New York City with her and build the life she wanted. She loved you so much, she wanted you to abandon your life in favor of hers.”
“What are you saying, Jace?” Cody didn’t have the give to follow through on the threat in his tone, but Jace could see the tension of violence tightening in Cody none the same. “Are you saying she didn’t love me more?”
Jace didn’t dare answer Cody’s question. It didn’t matter anyway. “I’m saying you would have never survived in the world she wanted to go live in. She would have changed you to suit her or you would have grown to hate her. Either way, it wouldn’t be healthy. You made the right call, Cody.”
“Did I? Hardly seems it what with Sharon being dead and all.”
“And if she hadn’t died?” Jace gave Cody the minute, but other than slumping deeper into his own cot, Cody didn’t say a word. Figuring it would be best to leave it there, Jace gave over the argument and tried instead to give his brother some assurance.
“We’ll just give Amanda a couple of weeks and then maybe…”
* * * *
Amanda stared at the ceiling, her eyes getting lost in the cottage cheese like surface. Tony and Cindy had retreated over an hour ago. They’d argued it out right over her as if she were dead and not just laying there with her eyes closed. In the end, Cindy had gone off to pack, and Tony went to get Amanda’s stuff from the ranch.
Of course they’d both decided not to tell her the truth. The story would be her daddy tried to kill her and Cindy’s mom broke a leg, so she had to fly off to be with her. All real nice and convenient lies because they didn’t think Amanda could ‘handle’ the truth.
Well, she figured she had a pretty good handle on it. Amanda was screwed. In every which direction possible. It just didn’t matter what she did, so Amanda could pretty much do whatever she wanted. It was strangely liberating because there was no way in hell she’d let the feds or Tony use her against Will.
Her decision didn’t have to be reasonable or logical. Even if Will had become a drug-addicted, murdering whore, it didn’t matter. For the right or the wrong of it, Will had been a brother to her for too many years to count, and she wouldn’t betray him.
Amanda would warn him. It took a lot more energy and hurt more than she’d imagined just to reach for the phone. Making the actual call didn’t go quickly, but soon enough the automated voice was issuing instructions on how to leave a message.
At the beep, Amanda started talking. “Will, it’s me. I know…about it all. It’s not safe anymore. Whatever you need…I love you.”
She stretched the receiver back to the end, pausing half way. In a rush, with the need just to tell him everything, Amanda lifted it back to her ear. “I’m pregnant. I was in an accident. They say it won’t survive. Don’t come.”
Chapter 49
Friday, August 8th
Amanda sat by the window, watching the afternoon pass slowly away. It had been two whole weeks of this very same day repeated. Wake up, have breakfast with Tony, spend all day with either Braden or Gavin babysitting her, eat dinner with the deputies, and then watch a movie. She was trapped in some Hitchcockian hell.
Monday, I am going back to work. She’d had enough. Death would be more lively than this. For all of Tony’s gloom and doom over her hospital bed, nobody had called or mailed a bomb or riddled the house with bullets. So what was she still doing in Tony’s house?
Recovering, in every sense of the word, Amanda had entered the rehab phase. She’d begun to acclimate herself to sleeping alone, bathing alone, to being alone. Except she wasn’t, Amanda’s hand slid over her stomach as her nerves tightened.
The doctors had said the baby would be lost in days, was probably not much more than a couple weeks. They’d warned her that she’d have a sudden, heavy period and that would be it. No more baby.
It had been two weeks and nothing. The time had probably come to go back to the doctor’s office, the right doctor this time instead of some hospital physician. Doing so though would mean revealing her last, best kept secret.
Of course, if Knox, Jace and Cody found out about the kid, there would be no discussion on where she’d be heading. Back to the ranch, but Amanda didn’t know if she could do it. The child meant marrying men who didn’t love her, living a life that was a lie.
That couldn’t be the right decision, but Knox wouldn’t offer her any choice. If she fought him, it wouldn’t be long before he found out her secret. There wouldn’t be a judge or jury who would give her custody of her own child after they heard she she’d done to her brother and mother.
Worse than marrying men who didn’t love her, the idea of her child being raised without her, with Lydia or some other woman as a mother was impossible to bear. She had to have a plan, a good one, before she said a word. The problem is Amanda hadn’t come up with any plan, good or bad.
“You’re brooding again,” Braden stated as he slid a plate piled high with fries and an overstuffed sandwich.
“And you’re thinking I have two stomachs again,” Amanda retorted as she shook her head. “What, are you trying to make me so fat I can’t fit through the door to escape this house?”
“Busted.” Braden smiled as he swiped a fry from her plate. The man really did have a million dollar smile. “Actually I was thinking you’re just a little too skinny. We need to put some curves on that body.”
He said that every day when he presented her a plate of food better prepared for a Berserker than a woman who sat on her ass all day. Every day she rolled her eyes and responded the same way. “Curves I have.”
Braden’s head dipped to the side as he studied the length of her body. “I don’t know, darling. I guess I’d have to see you wearing a whole lot less to be convinced.”
“Pervert.” Despite the fry she winged at him, Amanda wasn’t honestly upset.
More like a compliment, she accepted Braden’s flirting as almost a peace offering for being locked up for the past week. Both her babysitters, Braden and Gavin were like fr
esh air after being with the Reese brothers.
Relaxed and easy going, they made it easy for her to forget her troubles if not for longer than a few minutes. Sometimes they even made her smile. Her injured ego bloated up under their more than shy compliments.
“Can’t blame a man for trying.” Braden shrugged and popped a fry into his mouth. “So what evil demise have you dreamt up today for the Reese brothers?”
Amanda smirked. Braden understood and played along with her mental revenge. “I was thinking of hiring a prostitute to give them all some STD.”
“Hmm.” Braden considered that. “Lethal?”
“No, I was thinking of going for something itchy.” Amanda sighed. “Actually I was just thinking I’d like to take two steps out of the house. Maybe you’d actually let me walk to the mailbox today?”
“No can do.” Braden shook his head before stealing another fry. “You know the rules.”
“But they’re stupid,” Amanda retorted. “Besides, my father isn’t going to jump out of the shrubs.”
“But he might attack you with them.” Braden paused to mimic the dirty look she shot him. “What? Some of those bushes are damn prickly.”
“Oh, spare me.”
“Seriously,” Braden smirked. “I get stabbed every time I try to sneak a peek through your bedroom window late at night.”
Amanda refused to laugh, even if she wanted to. “You know what that is?”
Braden blinked. “What what is?”
“Your behavior, it’s called sexual harassment,” Amanda informed him primly.
“Sexual harassment? This ain’t a place of work.”
“But you are working.”
Before Braden could respond, a sharp knock at the front door had them both freezing. Amanda started, but Braden tensed. She didn’t miss the meaning behind the hard look he gave her but thought his soft command to stay was a little too much. It didn’t impress Amanda enough to obey, and she silently followed several feet in his wake.
Coming to the edge of the doorway leading into the living room and the front door, Amanda hesitated. Peeking around the edge she scowled as she watched Braden’s hand go for a gun tucked into the back of his slacks. Man is a little jumpy, isn’t he?
* * * *
Knox rolled the brim of his hat through his hand, feeling completely uncomfortable and cursing his own insecurities. Everybody from the sheriff to his own brothers made it clear he should stay away from Amanda. Jace and Cody thought whatever idea Knox came up with would be a disaster.
They were probably right. Letting them take the lead on trying to smooth things over with Amanda would be the wiser thing to do. Hell, Jace had it all figured out. There was just one problem with his brother’s plan. It took too damn long. Knox just couldn’t sit back and wait. It wasn’t in his nature.
Amanda belonged at home with them. He’d been patient for two weeks now and for what? Amanda wasn’t home and Knox wasn’t waiting another day. He’d be bringing her home this evening.
Right now. Just as soon as he got out of his truck. Across the street, the square box of Sheriff Black’s little plank house waited with his woman inside. All he had to do was go get her.
Well, that wasn’t completely true. First he had to get through the door. Not an easy feat according to the rumor mill. The gossip around Amanda had become vicious in the past two weeks.
What with everybody knowing about her relationship with all three Reese brothers and then her so-called suicide attempt and now living boarded up in the sheriff’s house, speculation had been rampant about Amanda. If the rumors were true, she hadn’t stepped outside once in two weeks and nobody had been allowed in.
Knox didn’t put much stock in rumors, but he didn’t doubt their existence would make getting through Tony Black’s front door very difficult. Sucking in a deep breath, Knox shoved open his door and braced himself for the coming battle.
Instinctively his hand palmed the jewelry box in his pocket. Like a gunslinger stepping up to the draw, he had placed all his confidence in what lay inside to save his ass. Desperate times called for desperate measures, so, hat in hand, Knox squared his shoulders and crossed the street.
Anticipating any and all reactions, he knocked on Sheriff Black’s front door and waited. When it felt as if more than a minute had passed, Knox raised his hand and opened his mouth. Ready to add a shout to his knock, he got caught completely off guard when the door opened and a giant of a man filled the space.
Knox recognized him instantly as one of the deputies from their scuffle at the hospital. It seemed odd given their past consisted of that one violent moment, but the deputy actually appeared to relax at the sight of Knox. The hand he’d held behind his back fell to his side as he leaned into the door and studied Knox.
“You know I should arrest you right now,” the man drawled, appearing only mildly interested in following through with his threat. “That’s the sheriff’s standing orders.”
“So why ain’t I in cuffs?”
The deputy shrugged. “Maybe I’m hoping you have enough sense to turn around and leave, so as not to spoil my dinner.”
Knox didn’t even blink. “Maybe I stand right here and you go eat your dinner while I talk to Amanda.”
“Nope.” The deputy shook his head. “That’s not going to happen.”
Knox studied the man in his way. The deputy wasn’t in uniform and looked way too casual to be on duty. Then what exactly was he doing here?
“Then I guess we have a problem because I’m not leaving until I talk to Amanda.”
Nodding in acceptance, the deputy started to step back, closing the door. “Oh, well then, I’ll call the station and tell them to send a patrol car.”
He slammed the door, and Knox had no doubt he intended to make the phone call. From the sound of it, though, somebody else objected and it didn’t surprise Knox at all when the door whipped back open and Amanda glared out at him.
What shocked him was just how much the sight of her affected him. She looked tired, thinner, suddenly delicate and frail. It made him want to sweep her up into his arms and spirit her off to keep her safe and protected.
“Tony’s going to have your ass when he gets home,” the deputy growled, drawing Knox’s eyes up and over Amanda’s shoulder.
“Why don’t you go finish my fries and let me handle this?”
“Why don’t I stand right here and make sure you don’t do anything stupid?”
Knox saw it clearly then, the look in the deputy’s eyes. He hadn’t arrested Knox because he didn’t want to upset Amanda. The man cared, and not in a professional way. Every muscle in Knox’s body tightened, but he kept himself leashed, knowing in his heart Amanda hadn’t moved onto the deputy.
“Fine,” Amanda snapped. Before the deputy could respond, she stepped right out onto the porch and slammed the door behind her. Holding onto the handle, she braced herself as the other man cursed and tried to wrench the door back open.
“Why did God make all men so annoying?”
She might have been asking herself, but Knox responded. “Revenge for women being so very evil.”
That brought her focus on him. Despite his flippant remark, Knox cringed at the pain shadowing her gaze. With a look so heated there were no need for words, she just watched him with the cautious patience of a wounded animal.
All the practiced words Knox had spent the past week composing into the perfect apology stumbled and tripped into each other, flittering away into dust as they crashed over his tongue. Instead of sounding as cool and articulate as he’d planned, he stuttered out his apology with the ill-ease of a negligent child.
“I just…wanted you to know…I never meant to hurt you.” Knox blinked and waited, but she didn’t say anything, just stood there staring at him until he shifted uncomfortably and rambled on. “I know I really screwed everything up…it’s just…I wanted you to know…I love you.”
There, he said it, the very thing he swore never to say to any woman e
ver. Knox held himself tense and awaited her reaction. As she stood there staring blankly at him, Knox began to realize how much he’d banked on her being overwhelmed by his admission.
“You’re a real asshole, you know that?”
The cold-cutting retort lanced right through all his insecurities to pierce the bubble of anger beginning to bloom inside him. Knox’s eyes narrowed and jaw tensed as Amanda’s head tilted. Her lips parted and he prepared for the next wave of assault.
“I only stepped out here to tell you one thing, Knox Reese. You ain’t half as good of a fuck as you need to be to afford me.”
“Amanda, damnit!” The deputy appeared at the side of the house. Grasping on to the porch railing, he jumped and came charging at them, not fast enough though. Amanda lips twisted upward as she whispered.
“Besides, you’ve already been replaced.”
“Get back in the damn house!” The deputy wasn’t asking. He shoved himself right between Knox and Amanda. Reaching around to jiggle the handle, the large man forced Amanda to obey before turning Knox. “Get the hell out of here, or I really will arrest you.”
The door slammed in his face and Knox was left standing alone on the porch, grinding his teeth. He’d already been replaced?
Knox knew better than anybody just how much Amanda liked to be pushed around by a man. Hadn’t the deputy just done that?
* * * *
Jace upended the hundred and twenty pound bag of dog food into its bin and all but melted into a wooden post, letting all his strained and stiff muscles relax. The dark colored pellets tumbled out of the big bag and rumbled rapidly down through the tubes and into the waiting pales.
All around him dogs panted with excited anticipation. The large pack of dogs that worked the ranch just as hard as any of the men drooled over their plates, well accustomed to this ritual.
It had been a long, tiring day. Another one to add to the pile. Hopefully, it would be the last. It was Friday and this weekend, his plan would unfold in all its brilliance. Amanda would be awed, amazed, and then, finally, she’d come back home.
Kansas Heat Page 46
