At least the circumstances of Cole and Kim’s entry into the lifestyle didn’t come with an imperative, finite, and tragic timeline, or the accompanying emotional baggage. Compared to what Seth and Leah had gone through, Cole realized he should relax and embrace the experience, wherever it led, and try not to worry too much in the process.
Have fun.
Easier said than done, though.
Mentioned in passing, he’d heard part of the conversation between Leah, Seth, and the other couple. That sometimes couples couldn’t grow together, and when they hit upon BDSM they grew apart, one partner going on to embrace it and the other leaving to find a vanilla partner.
He didn’t want that to be him and Kim. He loved her. Being with her felt right. He’d had other girlfriends before, and none he could honestly say he would have been willing to take the risk of spending the rest of his life with.
Hell, Kim had been the first one he’d wanted to ask to move in with him, and she’d shot him down.
Gently, and he understood why, but still.
Cole realized he was still staring at his phone and hadn’t yet replied.
No, not freaked out. :) I don’t scare that easily. Looking forward to talking more Wednesday night. Thank you, again, for that.
That was the truth. He was absolutely looking forward to seeing Mason again.
Talking to him.
Yeah, talking to him. Seeing him to talk.
He jumped when his phone vibrated in his hand with a reply from Mason.
Good to hear. Feel free to text, e-mail, or call me. You might get my voice mail during the day.
Cole texted him back, hoping he wasn’t appearing too eager.
Thank you. I will do just that.
As he set his phone down, he realized getting any work done that afternoon might be more difficult than he thought.
* * * *
That night, Cole decided to take Mason’s advice about not freaking out over what he saw on FetLife before they had their next talk.
Sage advice, it turned out, because had he found his way to FetLife before he’d met and talked to Mason, no way in hell would he have gone along with any of this, no matter how much he loved Kim. It absolutely would have freaked him out, which would have been disastrous in the long run. He would have shut Kim down, she would have sadly agreed, and it would have sat and festered between them, with him feeling guilty and her possibly feeling resentful.
Probably leading to a bad outcome for their relationship.
Definitely not a situation he wanted to create for a variety of reasons. The first and foremost reason being because he loved the hell out of Kim.
Note to self, never freak out without sitting down and talking things out first.
He and Kim didn’t talk very long in person on Monday night. He had dinner there, but went home. Kim was working on a tension headache because she hadn’t made time to go get her eyes checked and possibly get glasses, like he suspected she needed. She spent all day on a computer at work, and he’d personally seen how she squinted, but she hadn’t wanted to admit she needed them yet.
She’s an adult.
He couldn’t force her to do it.
As he sat on his own couch that night, he stared at his laptop screen and realized it was a damn good thing he hadn’t found FetLife before the munch.
He did, however, via Mason’s profile, find the profile for the club, Venture, and the club’s group. It would make it easier for him to keep track of events and befriend people online.
But…holy crap.
When he viewed some of the trending pictures on the site, he understood Mason’s cautions. It would be too easy to fall into the trap of thinking things like “those people” and “that’s definitely not me” when looking at what others were up to, when the truth was that a lot of what he was seeing wasn’t even real-life, but produced content by models and photographers, amateur and professional alike. Or, like on Facebook, people who were simply attention hounds and posting whatever would get them the most likes and comments.
He sent Kim a text. Be careful signing up for FetLife. No face pics.
He also sent her the username he’d created.
She called him. “Um, funny you should say that.”
“Why?”
“I…” She sounded like she swallowed hard. He actually heard it over the phone. “I’m on the site now. I’m thinking maybe I shouldn’t be on the site. This is…some of this stuff is kind of scary.”
Relief filled him. “Like Mason warned us, be careful and only give out information to people we trust. What name did you use?”
She told him, and he quickly found her profile. She’d set it up, as Mason had suggested, with the age of ninety-nine, and listing her location as Antarctica, a common ploy for people to avoid being trolled based on age and location.
“Okay. I see you.”
“Oops, Melanie’s calling me. Is it okay if I get off here and talk to her?”
“Of course. Love you.”
“Love you, too.” Her voice changed, subdued. “Thank you for this.”
And then she was gone.
Setting the phone aside, he friended her on FetLife. A moment later when he checked, she’d already added him as her Master and listing that she was collared to him.
The smile filled his face even as he felt…vaguely uncomfortable. He added that he was her Master and she was his slave. He’d also listed himself as being ninety-nine and from Antarctica.
When he found Mason’s profile, he friended him and sent him a private message telling the man it was him.
Mason accepted the friend request and replied to his message.
Just remember, you only have to do what you two want to do.
It was reassuring.
Kim quickly friended Mason as well, and then he didn’t see any other activity from her.
Probably still talking to Melanie.
He liked Kim’s friend, one of the few people who’d stuck by Kim during her divorce from Craige, but Melanie’s personal life was a hot mess. She was likely calling Kim to commiserate about whatever crappy thing Melanie’s boyfriend of the week had done that past weekend. She was nice, and smart, but a total doormat when it came to guys.
Cole spent the rest of the evening perusing FetLife, especially local groups and events. Mason pointed him toward Tony and Shayla’s profiles, as well as Seth and Leah’s, and Tilly, Cris, and Landry’s. Cole was still having trouble reconciling a lot—okay, most—of what he was seeing on the site with real life. He didn’t want to cause Kim pain or hit her any harder than he had with his bare hand. He damn sure didn’t want to make her bleed.
While he’d agree that some of the rope bondage pictures were beautiful and artistic, he personally didn’t have the patience to learn that.
Medical play—nope. Make that a hell nope. Just getting regular blood tests at his doctor every year nearly made him pass out.
Finally, he closed out the site and shut down his computer. Everyone at the munch had warned both of them to go slow, to not get overwhelmed.
Overwhelmed was pretty close to where he was at that moment. And his mind was still spinning when he went to bed. As he was about to drift to sleep, the amusing thought hit him that maybe now he did have a way to order Kim to go get her eyes checked.
Hmm.
* * * *
Cole and Kim didn’t get to talk much on Tuesday night. Kim had Melanie over to dinner so the woman could pour her heart out to Kim regarding her latest romantic disaster.
Wednesday morning, Cole anticipated staying over at Kim’s later, just in case, and brought what he’d need for in the morning so he wouldn’t have to go back home after dinner.
Part of him was hoping Kim would ask him to stay over so they could talk after. Immediately process whatever they discussed with Mason that night.
If their initial dipping of their toes into the kinky pool Sunday night with the munch and their interlude after was any indication, Cole wa
s hoping for similar results tonight. The few days to digest everything had apparently helped Kim get her head around things, because when he picked her up and she got in his car, he asked her if she had any other thoughts she wanted to talk about before they sat down with Mason.
Boy, did she.
“Forget all the…crazy stuff,” she said to him as he drove. “The blood and stuff. That’s a no for me.”
“Okay.”
She sounded more animated than usual. “And I think the rope stuff is pretty. But I don’t think I’m ready for anything like that. Maybe a little rope on my wrists or on my ankles or something, if you wanted to.”
He glanced over at her at a stop light and realized she was blushing, but she was talking.
“I like it when you tie me up like that,” she continued. “Or when you hold my wrists or hands over my head when we’re in bed. I like feeling your weight on me. I like it when you make it so I can’t move because you’re pinning me down. But it’s because I trust you. Does that make sense?”
Not really, it didn’t, but he wasn’t about to disagree with her or stop her, much less interrupt her. He nodded.
Kim was at least talking to him. As she appeared to grow more confident that he wasn’t going to freak out, the depth and breadth of their conversations was exponentially expanding.
He hoped it’d continue. Maybe it would be the next step she’d need to take to finally feel comfortable with him broaching the subject of their future together. He loved her and was reasonably certain he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. Her scars from Craige ran deep, though, and interfered with her being able to move on for fear of her making another, similar mistake.
Bailing on her wasn’t an option for him, either. Not unless she decided she wanted to end things between them or she committed a breach of trust so heinous, in his opinion, that he’d be forced to say good-bye to her.
Still, it would be nice to be able to…plan. She didn’t want to have kids. Okay, no big deal. He was going to be thirty-seven in a few months and, frankly? He was having fun with life. If that made him a selfish bastard to be okay with not reproducing, he’d own that, every last bit of it.
“And forget about any of the crazy gang-bang stuff,” she said. “I mean, I get it, some people like that, whatever. That’s not for me.”
Another silent worry rolled from him, even though realistically he’d understood with her trust issues that it wasn’t a fear he’d have to worry about.
“There was a couple of things I thought were really…parts of them were really hot.” Her voice softened a little, but not the way it had in their earlier talks.
“Tell me, sweetheart. I want to hear.”
“Well… This is embarrassing.”
“It’s not embarrassing if it turns you on.” Another stop light allowed him to look at her.
Her face was glowing red. “There were some pictures of women tied up and…they used a vibrator on her. Forced orgasm play, they call it.” Her lower lip caught under her teeth. “That doesn’t sound…bad.”
He fought the urge to giggle. “No, that doesn’t sound bad at all.”
“And I wouldn’t mind wearing a collar and cuffs. I saw some that were very pretty.”
He reached over and rested his hand on her thigh. “Would you like me to get you a collar and cuffs?”
Her fingers laced through his. “I think that’d be your decision,” she said, her voice now back to the uncertain territory. The scared territory.
The “please don’t make fun of me” territory.
He squeezed her hand. “I think you’d look absolutely gorgeous wearing a collar and cuffs and nothing else.”
Her thumb slowly stroked the back of his. “Yeah?”
“Absolutely. When have I ever turned down a chance to have you naked?” He smiled, relieved when she smiled back.
Whatever he had to do to keep her smiling like that?
He’d do it in a fucking heartbeat, with absolutely zero reservations.
Especially if it meant she’d keep talking and opening up to him like she was now.
Chapter Eight
They reached the restaurant five minutes early, and Mason was just climbing out of his car when they pulled in.
Cole hoped it wasn’t breaking a protocol by automatically hugging the shorter man, but Cole restrained himself from doing more than hug Mason when what he wanted to do was hug Mason, lift him off the ground, and spin him around in joy at the progress Cole had already made with Kim.
The restaurant wasn’t too busy, fortunately, and they were able to ask for a booth in the back where they’d have privacy to talk without being overheard.
Once they were settled and had their orders put in, they started chatting.
“I meant to ask you the other night,” Mason said to Cole. “Are you originally from the area?”
“Yeah. Born and raised here in Sarasota. What about you?” Cole asked. “You have family in the area?”
“My dad,” he said. “My parents divorced years ago and my mom remarried. She’s over in the Miami area.”
“Did your dad remarry?” Cole asked.
“No,” Mason said. “He’s an asshole. He’s my father, and I love him, but he’s still an asshole.”
“Sorry,” Kim said.
“No, it’s all right. Even he admits he knows he’s an asshole.” Mason shrugged. “At least he’s honest about it and has accepted it. I mean, he’s not an asshole all the time. But he needs the right woman. I finally realized—although I didn’t tell him this—that he’s really dominant. He needs the right kind of woman, and he doesn’t seek out submissive women. It’s like he wants the most dominant, feisty woman he can find, and goes after that kind of woman.”
“Which doesn’t work out well,” Cole said.
“About as well as throwing gasoline on a car fire,” Mason said. “Kaboom.” He held his hands up, mimicking the explosion. “And then she gets pissed off and leaves him. Rightfully so. And then he’s like, ‘I don’t understand why that didn’t work out.’”
“Did you ever think about telling him?” Cole asked.
Mason snorted. “No. He’s a very stubborn Dominant. If I told him what I thought, he’d dig his heels in harder and keep screwing things up in his life just to try to prove me wrong. He’s an adult. If he hasn’t figured it out by now, he never will, and it’s not my job as his son to tell him.”
And they were at the crux of why they were there to talk.
“Did you guys have any questions for me about all of…this?” Mason asked.
Before Cole could even decide what to ask first, Kim launched herself into the conversational pool like a cannonball. “What’s forced orgasm play?”
Mason had been starting to take a sip of his water. At her question he started laughing, but apparently choked on it, and started coughing. Which made him laugh more. As he got himself put back together and mopped up the water with his napkin, he smiled.
“What part of ‘take things slow’ did I forget to clarify?”
That made Cole laugh. Especially when his gaze locked with Mason’s for a moment and…something. Maybe he was being stupid, but it felt like something passed between them.
And then Mason’s focus was back on Kim.
* * * *
Holy. Shitballs. Okay.
Kim’s question had caught Mason a little off-guard. Didn’t help that he was a klutz and temporarily forgot how to swallow—not usually a problem for him in several ways—and made himself look like an idiot in front of Cole.
Them.
Not just Cole.
Dammit, he had to force himself to stop staring at the man’s eyes. If he wasn’t careful, he’d sit there and be crushing on Cole all night.
Kim turned a little more pink in the face. “I saw it on FetLife and we were talking, and he was asking me about stuff I thought I might like.”
“Ah. Okay. Fair enough. It’s pretty much what it sounds like.” He smiled. “Women
are lucky in that most guys usually can’t have multiple orgasms. Women are built differently, and there are some sadists who like to make a woman safeword by orgasming her to that point.”
Kim looked a little dubious now. “It doesn’t sound bad.”
“Oh, it’s not bad. I have yet to see a woman who doesn’t enjoy it, but those same women will also tell you don’t think it’s not torture just because it’s fun.”
“Have you done it?”
“I have a Hitachi that’s seen plenty of use in those kinds of scenes.” He tried to keep his focus on her and not Cole. “Like I said, I’ve played with women before.”
“I don’t want my next question to sound wrong,” Kim said, “but…aren’t you gay?”
He shrugged. “It’s still fun. Sadism is sadism. I’m not anti-woman by any stretch of the imagination. I’ve slept with women before. I’m not stupid enough to say I’ll never again in my life ever sleep with another woman, either, because, hello, Landry. Gay man now married to a woman and apparently enjoying a hearty sex life with her and Cris, from the things I’ve witnessed at private parties.”
Mason attempted another sip of water and this time succeeded in not choking himself with it. “Not that that’s violating their privacy by saying it, because he’ll flat-out tell people that when he’s talking to them. But it’s safe to say when it comes to romantic relationship partners, I’m pretty much gay. Won’t take ‘flexible’ off the table, though. When it comes to playing, however, gender is irrelevant to me.
“Now, where it can sometimes matter is the more intimate kind of play I do in private with someone. If I’m in a relationship with them, and we’re somewhere alone, or at a private party where the rules are looser than at Venture, then yes, my play would definitely take a more intimate and sexy turn.”
He had watched Cole’s reaction as Kim talked and noted the man was also paying attention to her. Not in an “I don’t have anything to say” kind of way, but more a, “I don’t want to interrupt her because she’s finally talking” kind of way. Cole actually looked a little amazed to hear her talking.
Liability [Suncoast Society] (Siren Publishing Sensations) Page 6
