A single tear escaped my eye and I brushed it away. "It's not that simple. It's all planned, everyone's here, Linda's paid for it..."
She was shaking her head before I'd half-finished the sentence. "None of that matters. All that matters is you."
I took a long deep breath and let it shudder out of me. "I want to be married. I want to be in love and be loved. And do you know how few guys are out there, single and even remotely appropriate for me? Guys like Owen, smart and responsible and decent? Not many. Almost none."
She reached out and gave my hand a squeeze. "You only need one of them. The right one."
Chapter Twenty-Four
When Wendy and I arrived on the pier a little before ten, Rob stood near his wedding party, two huge wheeled suitcases beside him. "Hey there," he said when we reached him. "Thanks for coming yesterday. Did you find anything to copy for your weddings?"
"I liked the different-colored bridesmaids dresses," Wendy said.
He nodded. "The wife thought it'd be nice."
His world-weary tone on 'wife' might have made me doubt his commitment, before the wedding, but now I could see he was hiding his love for her beneath the snarky comments and pretended aggravation, so I smiled and said, "The wife's a smart girl."
He smiled back. "Yeah, she's not bad. She had a book out of the onboard library and almost stole it, the deviant, so she's gone back to return it. Should be here in a minute. Do you have time to wait for her? I know she'd love to see you guys again."
"We're just going to hit the outlet mall today, so we're in no rush."
The three of us chatted for a while about the cruise and the fun we'd had together. Then, mid-sentence, he looked past us and his face changed. Warmth flooded his eyes, a small smile curved the corners of his mouth, and his whole expression brightened like someone had shone a spotlight on him. I didn't need his "there she is" to let me know Stephanie had appeared.
"Sorry, sorry," she said as we turned to look at her. Wendy told her it was all right, and I was glad because I couldn't speak. Being that close to the glow, watching Rob lighting up as Wendy said Andrea and Loren did, was indescribable.
"Did my old man tell you where I was?"
"Told them you were thieving a book and I made you take it back."
She laughed. "Something like that, yeah." She smiled at me. "Didn't see you at the chocolate buffet last night. Couldn't stay up until midnight?"
I made myself smile and say, "Owen and I decided we didn't want to leave the room," but it was a lie. Owen had said he'd go with me so I'd waited for him, and when at twelve-thirty I'd realized he'd forgotten I'd felt too embarrassed to go in by myself and admit he hadn't shown up.
"Well, I hope you had fun." Wendy winked at me. "But you missed some amazing chocolate. I've never seen such fancy desserts before. You should get out of bed and come to the next one. It's the last night of the cruise."
"We'll see." Maybe I'd arrange to go with Wendy and Mark and not bother waiting for Owen. The thought made me sad, though. If the buffet was as great as it sounded it would be nice to share it with the man I loved.
After a brief pause, Stephanie said, "So, you're up next, Melissa. I hope your wedding goes great."
I cleared my throat. "Yours was lovely. I didn't..." I cut myself off, since saying I hadn't thought they were really in love wasn't exactly nice. "It was so sweet, and gorgeous. You looked great, and..."
She reached out and gave me a big hug. Into my ear, she said, "I know, you didn't expect it to be so mushy since we pick on each other. Nobody did. But God, do I ever love him."
Tears filled my eyes in a second at the heartfelt emotion in her voice, and I nearly lost all control when she added, "I hope you feel the same way about Owen."
Did I? I didn't know.
I couldn't speak but I hugged her hard, trying to pull myself together, and by the time we released each other I was able to smile and say, "Have a great trip home."
"Will do." She jerked her head toward Rob. "I'll let the lackey carry the bags."
We laughed, and she hugged Wendy. I thought they might have been talking as we had but I couldn't hear anything over the noise of the disembarking passengers.
"Okay," she said when they'd let go. "I have Wendy's email address, but I want yours, Melissa, and phone numbers too. I need to know what you lovelies are up to."
We all pulled out our phones and soon had each other's contact information safely stored away.
"Email me after the wedding," she said to me. "I want to know how it goes. And any time, of course, if you just want to talk or anything."
I nodded, glad she wanted to keep in touch because I'd liked her, and Rob said, "Tell Owen to email me if he wants my scroll of reasons not to get married. I forgot to use it."
We all laughed, Stephanie bopped him on the head, and they headed off, each dragging a suitcase with one hand and holding hands with the other.
*****
After spending several hours and too much money at the outlet mall with Wendy, I stood on the deck looking out at the water as for the second time we sailed away from Fort Lauderdale.
The first time, I'd been perfectly happy. I'd been as happy as Stephanie was now, as sure that I had the right man. I could get back to that, if I chose. It was up to me.
Nothing had changed, not really. Sure, I'd seen Nicholas and Austin, and I now knew Owen liked to gamble, but that didn't mean much. Everything I'd loved about Owen was still there, so if I focused on that I'd be fine.
Once the land was just a blur in the distance, I took a deep breath and turned to Wendy. "What are you up to now?"
"I should take all this back to my room," she said, indicating the bags at her feet, "and then I'll probably hang out with Mark for a bit. Unless you need anything? I don't have to see him. Or of course you can hang out with us too."
I couldn't hold back a smile. "I'm okay, really. Don't worry about me."
"Just okay? Or--"
"Wendy." I looked into her worried eyes. "It's fine. I'm fine. I'm marrying Owen in a week and everything will be great. Go see Mark. I'll find something to entertain myself. It's not that long until dinner, after all."
She nodded. "And then tomorrow we'll spend all day on a Bahamian island. Not bad."
I grinned at her. "I'm looking forward to it. Nicholas says that snuba thing is crazy fun."
He'd raved about his favorite excursion of all, a half-scuba-half-snorkel extravaganza, a few nights ago at dinner, so Wendy and Mark and I had signed up to go with him.
Another outing with just the four of us. Owen, of course, was focused on a poker tournament, and Austin had apparently found a newly-single girl in need of his attentions and had said with a wink at me that he was fully occupied for the day and with any luck well into the evening. Nicole was spending her day first with her new friends at the spa and then on a shopping tour on the opposite side of the island from where we'd be before going to Brandy's wedding.
Linda had narrowed her eyes at the mention of the spa but I didn't think anyone else had noticed, especially since she'd then said she was spending the day with her onboard boyfriend Raul and Austin had begun teasing her about him. My mom had plans to participate in a book club onboard and then join the shopping tour with some of her new friends.
"Snuba should be great. I can't wait to see how it works. Well, see you at dinner." She gathered up her shopping, grunting at its weight. "Who bought all this stuff?"
"I don't know, some moron."
She laughed. "Sad but true. Have a good afternoon."
"You too."
I took my own bags, no fewer in number than hers, back to my stateroom. Owen, not surprisingly, wasn't there, so I spent a while putting away my new clothes and then took a nap. When I woke, I indulged in a long soothing bath before dinner with the fancy bubble bath provided, while thinking about Owen and how wonderful our champagne-fueled lovemaking had been and how exactly he fit the profile of the perfect husband, and when I was done I had ma
naged to wash away my doubts about us.
Feeling rested and clean and peaceful, I didn't even mind walking into the restaurant alone, and when Owen arrived a few minutes late I gave him a smile and a kiss because I was so glad to see him. He grinned and hugged me hard and whispered, "Won big this afternoon. Want a necklace to go with those earrings?"
I laughed, then laughed again because everything was going to be just fine.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Nicholas gave a deep sigh. "Could it be? Are we finally rid of the terrible monster?"
His dramatic B-movie-actor tone made me laugh, but I managed to say, "Oh, I hope so. Then it'll be perfectly safe for me to go into the dark attic all alone with no way to protect myself."
He grinned at me. "Not a lot of dark attics on the top deck of a cruise ship, but I get your point."
When we'd been finishing our dinner, he'd asked the table at large, "What are you up to now?" Wendy and Mark were planning to watch a movie in their stateroom, and though they said everyone was welcome I felt sure they'd rather be alone to snuggle. I didn't have any plans myself because Owen was unsurprisingly returning to the casino, and once Nicole said she was spending the evening at a bar with her new friends Nicholas turned to me and said, "Want to hang out at the quiet pool and read?"
I'd agreed at once with a smile, since I liked the quiet pool even more at night. With the shusher not in residence, I now loved it more than ever before. She'd been there every time I had during the first week, so maybe she had indeed left the ship in Fort Lauderdale. That alone would mean I'd have a great week, not to mention the little matter of my wedding to the man I was now certain I loved.
"Well, ready to read? I'm nearly done the book you recommended."
I smiled and nodded, but my chest and stomach had filled with butterflies. When he'd finished that book he'd go looking for another, and he'd find mine.
I glanced at him as he read, and just seeing his face calmed me. No matter what, he wouldn't trash me or the book. I trusted him, and I did want him to read it.
We'd been reading for fifteen minutes or so when he said, "Can I talk to you a second?"
My heart fluttered but I said, "Sure," and set down my reader.
To both my relief and my sadness, he only wanted to discuss the book he'd just finished.
We spent several minutes talking about its exciting ending and how everything had been wrapped up, then he said, "Thanks for recommending it. Next book, here I come," and picked up his ereader again.
I stared at my screen, not seeing the words.
"What's-- oh. It's yours. Your book."
The awe in his voice made me smile and settled my remaining butterflies. "You don't have to read it if you don't want to."
"But I do want to. I can't wait."
I smiled, feeling shy and scared and touched by his sincerity, and he smiled back looking like how I felt.
"Now be quiet so I can," he said, giving me a wink.
I folded my lips together and gave him a thumbs-up.
Then I sat, trying to take in the words on my ereader, while Nicholas took in my words on his. Sitting beside him as he read felt so weird and yet wonderful too.
After about five minutes, I couldn't stand it any more. "What do you think?"
He didn't answer.
"Nicholas?" I said a bit louder.
He jumped. "Sorry. What?"
I grinned, happiness flooding me in a tingly rush. "You must not hate it if you're that absorbed."
He grinned back and shook his head. "I love it. All that rustling in the trees, the people going missing... everything's happening under the surface and they haven't accepted something big is going on yet. Will I ever get to see what's causing it?"
"Maybe," I said, blinking innocently at him. "You'll have to keep reading to find out."
"Not even a hint?"
I gave him a big smile and didn't speak.
"Fine, then," he said in a mock-grouchy voice, and returned his focus to the ereader.
Knowing he didn't hate what I'd written made me far more able to read on my own, and I quickly lost myself in my book.
I read until my eyes were too tired to continue, then set my ereader on my lap and turned to Nicholas.
He'd turned on his ereader's case light and was reading so intently he didn't seem to notice I was watching him.
Thrilled, I laid back in my lounge chair and watched the stars above the ship and thought about how lucky I was. A great friend like Nicholas, plus of course Wendy and Mark and even Stephanie. A free cruise, with all the reading time I wanted. The most beautiful view of the sky I'd ever seen. And of course, the perfect fiancé.
After a few minutes of basking in my benefits, I heard Nicholas let out his breath in a quiet sigh and turned to see him smiling at me and shaking his head. "Melissa, wow. I can't wait to see what happens."
I smiled back, even happier than I'd been a moment before, and ecstatic that the stupid shusher wasn't around to ruin this. "You really like it?"
"It's terrific. I still haven't seen the monster, but I feel like it's going to make its presence known any second now." He glanced at his ereader then back at me. "You're brilliant. You know that, right?"
The deep sincerity in his voice made me unable to crack a joke as I otherwise would have. Instead, I said, "I just know I like reading it."
"And so do I. So will everyone." He snapped off his ereader light. "So, what are your plans for it?"
"Well, I have to finish it," I said, at the same time as he said, "Once it's finished."
We laughed and I said, "I don't know. I guess right now I just want to get it done. But then... do you really think it's good?"
"I really do." He smiled at me. "I had to keep reminding myself it was yours and not something I bought. It's just great."
I grinned, because I couldn't hold it back, and he did too. Then he said, "Will you try to get it published?"
I shrugged. "I honestly haven't thought about it. That's hard to do, though, isn't it?"
He nodded. "A guy I work with is trying to do it, and it's tough. He's contacted more than one hundred literary agents and so far it's been nothing but rejection in his email. When they even reply, I mean."
"Lovely. A mailbox full of rejection letters. Yuck. Well, before I do anything else I need to write the ending. And I want to do that this week."
He raised his eyebrows. "Really?"
I nodded. Though I hadn't made much progress in the first week of the cruise, somehow it felt more important than ever that I finish the book before my wedding.
"Well, if I can help at all, let me know."
I smiled. "Thank you. I'll need it, I bet."
"I doubt it. If you could write this, you can write the rest." He grinned at me. "Now stop talking so I can keep reading."
I pinched my lips shut, and he picked up his ereader then said, "Is that really the time?"
I checked the clock on mine. "Ten-thirty! How did it get so late?"
He gave me a sweet smile. "Time flies when you're reading an amazing book."
My cheeks warmed and I smiled back at him. "Thank you. You're so supportive."
He got to his feet. "Hey, you're going to be a bestselling author in no time. I'm just getting in on the ground floor so I can ride on your coattails."
I laughed as I too stood. "Good luck with that."
He chuckled, then sobered. "Look, Melissa..."
The air around us seemed to thicken. "Yes?"
"If you do try to get it published..." He cleared his throat. "John at work says it's really hard on him to read the rejection letters. If you wanted, I'd be happy to read yours so you don't have to."
I stared at him. "You'd check my email for me?"
His neck reddened. "Sorry, yeah, I guess I shouldn't have said that."
Overwhelmed, I said, "That's the sweetest thing anyone's ever been willing to do for me. Please don't take it back."
His blush worsened but he smiled. "Okay,
I won't. If you go that route, let me know and I'm on it."
I couldn't help myself. I reached out and wrapped my arms around his neck. "Thank you."
He froze for a split second, then pulled me close.
I shut my eyes and breathed in the scent of his cologne, cuddling into him and feeling memories flooding me. He'd always been a great hugger, and nothing had changed. I could have stayed in his embrace forever.
But of course I couldn't, so after a few seconds I released him and he quickly did the same.
"Thank you," I said again. "I just might take you up on it some day."
He smiled, his eyes warm and soft. "You'd better." Then he cleared his throat and said, "Of course, if you want Owen to do it instead, I understand."
I was shaking my head before I realized it, but I only said, "No, I think I'd like it to be you." I didn't tell him the whole truth: I couldn't imagine Owen ever offering to do such a thing and I wouldn't want to ask him to put himself out like that if he didn't offer.
Nicholas gave me a slow nod, as if hearing what I wasn't saying, then gave me an easy smile. "Just don't forget the little people when you're famous."
"Who are you again?" I said, returning his smile.
"Damn, it happens fast."
We laughed and headed to the elevator together, parting with a "See you tomorrow" and another shared happy smile, and as I made my way alone back to my empty stateroom I wondered how I'd again found myself so close to Nicholas.
Chapter Twenty-Six
As we stood chatting on the pier the next morning, Nicholas interrupted himself mid-sentence. "There's Mark."
"No Wendy?" I turned around as Nicholas said, "Nope."
Mark, looking nervous, approached us. When he neared I said, "What's up?"
"Wendy's not feeling so good."
"Oh, no." When I'd returned to my stateroom the night before I'd had an email from her on my phone, which I'd forgotten to take to the pool. She'd only wanted to confirm our meeting time, and she'd accepted my apologies for being gone so long with Nicholas by teasing me about my awesome ability to lose myself in a book. She hadn't said anything about not feeling well. It must have come on overnight. "She was so excited about the snuba thing. Is she okay?"
Toronto Collection Volume 2 (Toronto Series #6-9) Page 82
