Then, to her horror, it swiveled and headed straight for Larry. Through the monster's hazy substance, she saw his face distorted into something almost hideous. Then she blinked and it was Larry again. Larry, about to be engulfed. Larry, who she loved.
She loved him!
Without thinking, she launched herself at him. Larry's eyes widened and he shouted, "No, Lizzie," but she didn't stop. She couldn't. Now that she knew how she felt about him, she wouldn't let the monster take him without her. They were doomed, but at least they'd be doomed together.
She reached Larry an instant after the monster did and threw her arms around him.
Around them both, since she caught the monster between their bodies.
It spread out and surrounded them in an instant, and she cried out at the pain of it, ice cold and awful. Blackness flooded her body, freezing her right to her soul, and she knew this was how everyone else had died. She and Larry were dying too, but at least they were together.
Then Larry wrapped his arms tight around her and said, his voice full of the same pain she felt, "I love you, Lizzie. I love you so much."
A tiny spot of warm pink light flickered in her, battling against the blackness, and she squeezed him harder. "I love you too."
A hideous scream tore at her ears, and with shock she realized it was the monster. The dreadful coldness began to recede, and the monster screamed again. This time Lizzie heard something that was almost relief in the sound, and for an instant she wondered if the monster had wanted to be destroyed as much as they'd wanted to destroy it.
One last scream and the monster exploded into tiny wisps of black smoke that curled and vanished.
Lizzie stared at Larry, and he stared back, the moonlight that had been hidden by the monster's darkness now lighting his face.
Then his face was lit even more, by the most beautiful smile she could imagine. "I love you."
She pulled him closer. "I love you too."
Their first kiss was tender and sweet, and she knew she'd never forget it.
They walked away hand-in-hand. Behind them, one last wisp of black smoke shimmered into a pink glow, then vanished forever.
I reread it once, then again, but there wasn't a single thing I wanted to change. It worked. I loved it.
I saved the file and felt a wave of blessed tiredness sweep over me. I could sleep now. The story was finished.
But before I slept, I wanted to share my words with Nicholas. I converted the file and emailed it to his ereader while I imagined him turning on the device in the morning and discovering that I'd sent him the rest of the story. I hoped it would make him smile.
Then I went back to Wendy's room, managed to get back in bed without disturbing her, and fell asleep at once.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
Wendy's alarm went off and we both groaned at once, then laughed.
"So much for good morning greetings."
"Yeah." I rolled over and looked up at the darkened ceiling. "What time is it?"
"Seven, just like we planned."
"Feels like four."
"It does, kind of." She sighed. "Four-fifteen at the best. Why don't you go shower first?"
"Because I don't want to get up?"
"No, that's why I'm not going first. Off you go. You need time to fetch your fancy coffee before room service shows up. And my hot chocolate too."
"I don't remember agreeing to getting you a drink," I said, forcing myself out of bed.
"Really? Huh." She pulled the covers up to her chin. "Quiet now. I'm going back to sleep while you shower."
"You're a jerk, you know."
Her only response was a fake snore.
I laughed and went off to shower as instructed. When I came out, wearing my long purple skirt and a shirt with buttons down the front so I could change into my dress without destroying my soon-to-be-completed hairstyle, she was busily smoothing the skirt of my dress, which she'd removed from its bag and spread across her bed.
"Thought you were going to sleep."
"I figured I should start being a good maid-of-honor. I want you to be nice to me when it's my turn."
"Good luck with that." We chuckled and I studied the dress. "You're doing a nice job, though. It looks great." I hadn't had much choice of gowns because of the short time frame, and they'd all been strapless though I'd have preferred a dress with sleeves, but I did love the long full skirt and the lace frothing over it. Even though Nicole didn't approve of lace.
Wendy smiled at me. "It'll look greater when you're in it." Our eyes met, and she added, "You're ready for today?"
I brought up a mental picture of Owen, and with more difficulty the memories of how happy I'd felt when he proposed. "I think so. Yes."
Her eyes narrowed, but then she blinked and they went back to normal. "Good stuff. So, are you fetching the drinks or am I?"
"You need to shower."
"True, but it's your day. I can shower fast after."
I considered this. "Actually, I wouldn't mind going for a little walk, so I'll do it."
"Deal. And I'll be clean when you get back."
I waved my hand in front of my face as if pushing away an awful stench. "You'd better be."
She shoved me toward the door. "Get lost."
I left, and as I walked toward the coffee area I realized that I'd gone through it all over and over and every time I'd decided to marry Owen, and that had to mean something. What I'd said to Wendy was right. I was ready. End of story.
Glad I didn't need to think about it any more, I entered the coffee area. Without meaning to, I turned to look at Nicholas's favorite table, and shock exploded through me. He was there, looking like he hadn't slept any longer than I had, watching me.
I went to him as if he was pulling me in, and when I neared the table I realized he had his ereader with him, along with a small gift bag. The ereader mattered more to me at the moment. "You've read it?"
He nodded, and pushed out a chair for me with his foot.
I sank into it, dropped into it really. I hadn't been expecting to see him and the sight of him made everything confused again. "You've already had time?" I said, stupidly since he'd said he'd read it but my brain wasn't working right.
"I couldn't sleep last night." He gave me a wry smile. "Guess I wasn't the only one."
"I wanted to finish the book."
He nodded. "I was reading when you sent it, but I saw the thing receiving an email and I went to check and found out it was your book." He shook his head. "Obviously, since I read it."
A shiver went through me at the realization that being together was confusing him too. "What did you think?" I managed to ask, though my voice was rough.
He leaned forward, his eyes intense on mine. "I thought it was perfect."
Relief flooded me. "Me too." Hearing my own words, I winced. "I don't mean it like that, like I made it perfect. It just happened. The words showed up and I wrote them down. And they seemed right."
"They are right. They tied everything together." He looked down at his ereader. "I love endings like that. I just..." He cleared his throat. "I wish real life worked that way."
I bit my lip at the emotion in his voice. "So do I."
We sat silent for a moment, then he said, "I... Melissa, I can't be there today. I'm sorry. I just can't. I wanted to tell you so you aren't surprised."
I nodded. I wasn't sure I wanted him there, frankly. I couldn't imagine marrying Owen with him sitting behind me watching. "Thanks for coming to let me know." A thought hit me. "Wait, how long have you been here?"
He shrugged. "A while. I didn't want to miss you."
"What's a while?"
Without raising his head, he said, "Since five-thirty."
I gasped. "You could have just sent me an email or something."
"It wasn't just to tell you." He looked up and our eyes met. The look in his, resignation and sorrow and something that looked an awful lot like love, took my breath away. "I also have a present for you,"
he said, and I pulled myself together enough to say, "You didn't have to do that."
"You weren't going to, and it was perfect, and I wanted you to--" He cut himself off and shook his head, probably at my expression since I had no idea what he was trying to say. "I'm screwing this up. Typical. Look, Melissa. You deserve to be happy, and I hope you're going to be. This," he said as he pushed the gift toward me, "is just something I thought you should have. I hope you like it."
Stunned and confused, I reached for the bag, but he said, "I'm going to go, okay? I..." He shook his head. "I have to go."
Our eyes met again, and I saw the truth. He did want to be with me, and he wasn't going to do anything to make it happen. It hurt like my heart was exploding.
He stood up and picked up his ereader. "Goodbye."
I wanted to beg him to stay but I didn't. What would be the point? I just whispered, "Goodbye," and watched him walk away from me.
When he was gone, I undid the ribbons holding the bag closed, then stared at the contents.
A stunning silk shawl in soft purple and pink and blue. The silk shawl, with its letter M partly visible beneath a small folded piece of paper.
All the air seemed to leave the room in an instant, but I managed to open the paper and read, "It's beautiful, just like you. I hope it keeps you warm and happy. You deserve that, on your wedding day and forever. Love, Nicholas."
Chapter Forty
Mom sniffled. "Oh, honey, you look beautiful."
"Thank you." I looked at myself in the mirror. The dress did look gorgeous, and Dimitri had done a great job and so had his makeup artist. I'd never thought I could look so much like a model. But weren't brides supposed to look... happy? Excited? I looked stoic. Resigned.
Linda set down her phone on which she'd been checking email. "Your daughter does clean up pretty damn well, Deborah," she said, patting my mom on the shoulder. "I have some sad news, though. Nicky woke up this morning with a stomach bug and he won't be able to come to the wedding. He said to tell you he's sorry, Mel."
I nodded and made a sad sound because I didn't trust myself to speak, and luckily my mom's "Oh, what a shame!" filled in the gap.
I felt Wendy watching me, boring holes in me with her eyes, but I didn't look at her. I hadn't looked at her, more than I'd absolutely had to, since I'd returned to the room with the gift bag and without our drinks, which I'd forgotten to get in my shock. When I'd shown her the shawl and the note, I'd done everything in my power not to also show how badly I wanted to flee the room and run to Nicholas.
After a moment of silence, though, she'd fortunately focused on how nice it was of him to buy me the shawl and not on why he'd done it. Then my mom had arrived to surprise us while we had breakfast and then it had been time to get our hair and makeup done and we hadn't been alone again to talk.
Wendy had stuffed the shawl back into its bag and under the bed when my mom arrived, so it was out of sight. Definitely not out of mind, though.
I looked at myself in the mirror again. "I'm wondering if I should wear a shawl," I said, trying to keep my voice calm and like it didn't matter. "So I don't get cold."
"You mean this one, right?" Wendy held up my pink crocheted cashmere shawl. "I think it's the only thing we have that would work."
Her eyes were intense, and I realized she was right. Though I wanted the silk shawl wrapped around me, wanted to feel it on my skin and draw strength from it, I couldn't wear Nicholas's gift to marry Owen.
And I was going to marry Owen. In about ten minutes.
"I'm really going to marry him," I said under my breath without meaning to.
Linda laughed. "You bet you are, honey. Let's see that shawl on."
Wendy draped it over my bare shoulders, and we all nodded. It brightened up my white outfit and also gave some color to my cheeks, which to me looked pale beneath the blush I wore.
"Okay, I think it's time for me to head out," Linda said. "Mel, see you on the other side."
I managed to smile at her, and she left. Mom tweaked at my shawl and my dress, muttering about how lovely I looked and how happy she was, and I stood and endured it because I had no choice.
"That's too bad about Nicholas," Mom said as she worked. "He's such a sweet guy."
I nodded, because my throat had tightened too much to speak. Yes, he was.
Wendy cleared her throat. "It's five minutes to ten. Time to go."
Mom clapped her hands. "I can't wait." She picked up my bouquet and thrust it at me. "Look, Wendy. She looks just like a bride."
"That she does," Wendy said, with what I could tell was forced happiness in her voice. She took her bouquet and said, "Off we go."
My heart was pounding so hard I could barely breathe, but I followed her and Mom out of the room and down the hall toward the elevator that would take us to the chapel. To my wedding.
Everyone we passed smiled at me, and most people also wished me good luck and told me I looked beautiful. As we passed two old ladies, I heard one say, "Bless her soul, she looks so nervous."
Mom looked back, surprised. "You're not nervous, are you? It's all going to be fine."
Fine. That was the word of the day, all right. The word of my marriage.
The elevator made my stomach flip around and for one awful moment I thought I'd be sick all down my white dress. Fortunately, though, we only had to go one floor up, and when the elevator stopped so did my nausea.
The chapel was down the hall and around a corner, and as we neared the corner Wendy burst out with, "Wait."
Mom and I looked at her, and her cheeks flushed but she said, "I need to talk to Melissa a second. One... one last single-girl talk. Deborah, you go ahead and get seated. We'll be right behind you."
Mom nodded and turned to me. "I love you," she said, pulling me into a hug. "I'm so proud of you."
I squeezed her hard, and when she tried to release me I couldn't make myself let go. I'd never wanted my Mommy so much.
"Aw, Melissa, it's okay," she said, patting my back and then drawing back from me and breaking my hold on her. "I know, it's emotional." She wiped her eyes. "I'll go, before I make you cry and ruin all that makeup."
She gave me a watery smile and turned the corner, leaving me and Wendy alone.
Wendy turned to me and my stomach flipped again at how nervous she looked. "I have no idea whether I'm doing the right thing but I have to do it. Are you sure you want to marry Owen? With how you feel about..."
She didn't say his name. She didn't have to. I looked down into my bouquet. "I've wanted to be married for years. And Owen's a good man. I love him." I heard the forced sound in my voice on the last words and looked up at her. "I'm sure I do. I did before we got here. And besides, Nicholas is still not standing up for himself, for us. I want a guy who'll do that."
She rocked back on her silver high heels as if I'd slapped her. "Is that what-- Melissa, you aren't standing up for what you want. It's got nothing to do with him! Okay, maybe he's not either, but have you told him how you feel? Have you said you want to be with him? Have you even told Owen what you don't like and stuck with it until he knows you mean it?" She knew I hadn't so she didn't wait for my answer. "You're judging Nicholas for not doing something you won't do either."
Her words struck me across the face, knocking the wind from me. She was right. I hadn't done any of those things, and I hadn't told my dad how badly I wanted him at the wedding either. I hadn't told him how disappointed I'd been all the times he let me down because it was easier than arguing with Mom.
I'd been blaming Nicholas for being too much like my dad.
Too much like me.
Wendy grabbed my shoulder, and I looked at her, stunned, as tears filled her eyes. "Melissa, I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how hard this is. If you're marrying him because you think it'll work, or hope it will, I get it. But to do it because Nicholas disappointed you..." She shook her head, blinking hard. "You only get one first wedding, and I know you only want one wedding, period. Are you marr
ying Owen because you want to or because it's too hard not to?"
We stared at each other. The question hung in the air and I had no idea how to answer.
The moment was broken by Derek sticking his head around the corner and saying, "They're ready for you now."
He disappeared again and Wendy held out her arms. "I just want you to be happy, Melissa. I'm sorry."
I hugged her. "I'm sorry too," I said, though I wasn't sure what for.
She stepped back, her eyes solemn. "Are you ready?"
I wanted to scream, "No," and run, but the weight of everything that would happen if I did made it impossible. "I am."
She nodded, then turned and rounded the corner.
I followed her, and was just in time to see her pink skirt disappear through the open double doors of the chapel. Derek stopped me when I tried to go with her. "Let her get in," he said softly, "and I'll cue you when it's your turn."
My knees shaking so hard I could barely stand, I stood beside Derek, focusing on the delicate petals of the orchids in my bouquet so I wouldn't think.
The music changed, and I recognized the first notes of the wedding march. I didn't much like the piece, would have preferred "Pachelbel's Canon" like Stephanie had used, but Linda loved the old traditional song and had requested it so I'd gone with it.
I hadn't stood up for what I wanted.
"Off you go, Melissa," Derek whispered.
I couldn't move.
"Melissa?"
My feet moved without my direction and I took a step forward. Then another. Then, somehow, I was walking into the chapel and down the carpeted aisle.
The chapel was nearly empty, since we had so few guests, and of course it was even emptier than planned since--
I wouldn't let myself think his name. I couldn't. I looked straight ahead, at Owen. He looked back with a small smile, but no matter how I tried I couldn't see anything but satisfaction in it. No wild emotion, no delight at being about to marry me. Owen was glad to be getting married and that was it.
Austin was right: any bride would have been fine with Owen. I'd just happened to be the first eligible candidate he met after he turned thirty-five.
Toronto Collection Volume 2 (Toronto Series #6-9) Page 91
