Trust

by Aubrey St. Clair

  "My name is Lila. Lila Hunter," I quickly say, embarrassed that I hadn't even introduced myself. I'm about to say no to the drink, but then I realize how dry my mouth is. If anything, I could use the excuse to put this whole thing off just a little bit longer. "Sure, that would be lovely, thank you.”

  Mirana smiles tightly, and I wonder if she had been hoping I would say no so that I would leave quicker. "I was just about to make some tea, is that okay?"

  I nod and she disappears into the next room which I can see is the kitchen.

  It's strange to be sitting in this room, with Chase's wife in the other room after I've been flying around the world and fucking him for the last couple of weeks. Despite the fact that I had no idea he was married, I feel incredibly guilty. More so because there’s a child involved.

  It takes Mirana a few minutes to return with the tea and by the time she gets back I still haven't figured out what to say. She places the cup next to me and then sits down. The look of confusion that was on her face earlier has shifted to one of suspicion now as she watches me, waiting to see what it is I want. I should have had more of a plan about what I was going to say, but part of me had been hoping that I would get here and it would be immediately clear that the whole thing was just a misunderstanding and I wouldn’t have to say anything at all. As it is, things seem even worse than I had expected.

  "How can I help you Miss Hunter?" she finally asks when I continue to sit silently fidgeting.

  "Um, right. Well I just wanted to talk to you for a minute. About your husband."

  Chase's wife just continues to stare at me with a questioning look on her face, so I push ahead before I talk myself out of this whole thing, or she throws me out.

  "How long have you... have you and Chase... been married?"

  A quick look of alarm passes across Mirana's face before she quells it and takes a deep breath. I feel a twinge of guilt. Does she suspect what is coming? Has this happened before?

  "About two years," she answers.

  If this has happened before, if he’s cheated and I'm not the first girlfriend to show up at his wife's house, what does that mean? Why does she stay with him?

  "Do you love him?" I ask before I can stop myself.

  "Of course," she snaps back. If I were her, this is the point where I would be throwing me out or demanding answers, but for some reason she just sits there. She doesn't look happy, but she isn't telling me to leave, either.

  "He must travel a lot. It must be hard, with him gone so much."

  Mirana nods cautiously. "We make do with the time we have. But yes, his job takes him around the world. But because of Diego I stay home. Otherwise I would go with him."

  Diego. Suddenly something strikes me.

  "How long have you known Chase?"

  "We met 4 years ago through mutual friends."

  So he was in his early 20s when he met her. A feeling of relief passes over me. At least the child isn't his. I feel bad enough, but if the kid was his it would make it all the worse.

  I look at Mirana and she seems agitated, probably because of the questions about her relationship coming from a complete stranger. I'm again struck by the fact that she hasn't told me to leave or asked more about me, but I wonder if it’s some sort of cultural thing. Like she doesn't want to be rude. The least I can do is explain myself now. It's obvious that Denise wasn't making things up in this case. Chase is married, and although he isn't the biological father of her kid, he must be at least the step-father.

  They're a family, and that makes me a home-wrecker.

  "I guess you're wondering why I'm here," I begin.

  "I know why you're here," Mirana says quickly. I can hear anger in her voice, but she’s keeping it in check. "You aren't the first person to show up asking about my relationship with my husband. I keep hoping they will stop, but they never do."

  I swallow hard and let out a slow breath. How could I have been so wrong about Chase. He's a serial cheater, and for whatever reason his wife puts up with it. Each time she hopes it'll be the last, but it never is. I'm not the first to warn her, and by this point I'm probably doing more harm than good. She clearly has her reasons for not leaving, and I'm simply a reminder of his constant string of betrayals.

  "I'm sorry," I say softly.

  Mirana shrugs. "It's not your fault. I understand why you're here. Lots of people cheat."

  I don't even know how to respond to that. I'm not sure if she’s referring to me or Chase. I don't think of myself as the cheater here. I didn't know he was married. But from her perspective I'm sure I'm just as much to blame even if she does say it’s not my fault. How can she help but not blame me on some level. But I don't think there’s any use in explaining myself and making her feel worse with the details.

  "I should go," I say. My tea still sits next to me untouched as I stand.

  "Yes," Mirana says. "Just please remember that I love my husband, and my marriage is very important to me."

  The words are like a punch in the gut, but all I can do is nod. I should never have come.

  Mirana leads me to the door just as Diego comes out of his room. He runs to his mother and grabs her by the waist as he twirls behind her and then peeks out at me. I smile at him. He looks so much like his mother, but just as familiar as she did. It suddenly strikes me and I turn back to her.

  "You're Cuban, aren't you?"

  She raises her eyebrow, confused. "Yes. Of course."

  The little side trip that Chase took me on while we were in Cuba. The family we had lunch with. I shake my head with the realization. How could Chase be so cold hearted?

  "Your parents... Elena and Victor?"

  "Abuela and Abuelo?" Diego says, his face lighting up as I say their names.

  "Yes. What about them?"

  It all makes sense now. He used that trip to look in on his in-laws. I can only imagine the things he was saying to them in Spanish as we ate lunch together. How did he explain my presence? I can't remember how physical we were in their presence. I don't think we kissed or anything. Did he tell them I was his assistant? It's hard to believe how brazen he was, bringing me with him to meet them. Maybe if I had understood Spanish I could have busted him right then and there. It's humiliating to imagine what he must have been saying, the lies about me he was telling as I sat right next to him. And then he took me back to the room and continued to fuck me like he wasn't even married, right after visiting his in-laws. How much of an asshole is he? How was I so completely wrong about him? I've never felt like such a fool in my life.

  "Nothing. I... nothing." Mirana is looking at me curiously, but I shake my head. I visited your parents on a trip to Cuba with your husband. After your mom made us lunch, we went back to the hotel and fucked like rabbits.

  Mirana just stares at me, her face a mixture of emotions that I can't decipher. Anger? There is definitely some of that, and justifiably so. But there’s more as well. Fear? What is she afraid of? Maybe that I'll steal him away. I could reassure her that I'm going to stay as far away from Chase as possible now that I know he’s married, but she probably wouldn’t believe me anyway. And I have no idea how much Diego knows. I don't want to drag him into the world of his step-father's lies. She finally just nods and reaches for the door, pulling it open.

  "Good day, then."

  "Thank you... for... your time." I'm still surprised at how accommodating she’s been to someone she knows is sleeping with her husband. How often has this happened? Has she just basically given up on trying to change him? Do they have some sort of open marriage? I feel terrible for coming. I feel like all I've done is drive a knife that was already in her gut a little bit deeper. Twisted it a little bit more.

  I turn away with nothing left to say. Diego begins speaking in Spanish and Mirana bends down to talk to him. She’s already dismissed me, her earlier hospitality seems to have evaporated as she realized who I was and why I was there. I step into the sunlight and look around. Chase's car is still out front, Mark has turned
it around and parked it a couple of doors down. Since he hasn't left, I hope that means he’s still willing to take me to the airport.

  As I take a step out of the house, a cab pulls around the corner and I watch as it drives right in front of the house and stops. A moment later the door opens and Chase gets out. My heart begins to pound in my chest as anger and shame fill me in equal amounts. I want to lash out and scream at him, but not in front of his wife and her son.

  I take another step and exit the house. Behind me I hear another burst of Spanish from Diego, but within I clearly hear the word "Chase".

  Mirana says something quickly back to him, and he takes off again, back in the direction he disappeared to before.

  Chase is wearing a frown as he looks at me, and I hear his wife step out right behind me as well. I'm sure Chase wasn't expecting to see his wife and girlfriend standing side by side when he got up this morning. Especially since this morning he and I woke up on the other side of the world.

  "Chase!" Mirana pushes past me and runs towards her husband. Chase looks at her and then back at me. There’s confusion on his face. He's probably wondering how much I've told her and what he was in for. The truth is I have no idea what she plans to do or say to him. I barely told her anything. She seemed to know it all already and be completely unfazed.

  As soon as Mirana reaches him she throws her arms around him, pulling him into a hug and then presses her lips against his in a passionate kiss that makes me feel dizzy just to watch.

  What makes it worse is that the entire time his wife is kissing him, with her arms wrapped around his body, Chase's eyes are on me.

  Finally tearing his eyes away from me, Chase pushes his wife away and breaks the kiss as he looks at her strangely. "Mirana, what are you doing?"

  It's a strange question to ask your wife after she greets you with a kiss, but at this point I can't pretend to know or understand Chase Anderson at all. I feel like I should run. Take off to the limo, hop in and tell Mark to take me directly to the airport. But I can't help but want to see Chase squirm now. I want to see how he tries to weasel his way out of this to both his wife and girlfriend at the same time.

  Mirana is talking quietly now, but she’s grabbed his hand and is clutching it against her chest as if she doesn't want him to be apart from her ever again. His eyes grow wide as she speaks and then makes a strange sound. It's not until he looks up that I see a smile on his face. That noise had been a laugh. Of all the reactions I had expected from him, laughter was pretty much the last one. It makes me want to slap him, and I take a few steps toward the two of them with that very intention.

  "The government? Definitely not," he says to her. "She’s not even American. She’s from Canada."

  I stop in my tracks, confused.

  Mirana looks back at me with equal confusion on her face, and then back at Chase. She speaks again, and despite the fact that I'm close enough to hear them this time, the words are in Spanish anyway, so it doesn't really matter.

  "Well, I don't know what she told you," he says, shaking his head. "But I'm sure it was a misunderstanding." Here come the lies. Is he really going to claim that he and I haven't been dating these past couple of weeks? With me standing right here? Does he actually think I'll cover for him and go along with whatever story he’s going to try and spin?

  "Don't believe him," I say. My eyes feel like they’re blazing as I glare at him. "Whatever he’s about to say is a lie."

  Mirana turns to me again, even more confusion on her face. "Chase, what is going on here? Who is she then? How does she know my parents?"

  "This is Lila. She’s my... well, she was my girlfriend. Now I'm not sure."

  I open my mouth to contest his story but stop as I realize what he’s said. He's actually admitting that I'm his girlfriend to his wife? What kind of a sick asshole is he? Or do they have some sort of twisted understanding or agreement?

  My eyes slide over to Mirana, waiting for some sort of explosion of emotion, but she doesn't react. Not at first, at least. Her head cocks to one side as she looks over at me with her eyes narrowed a bit, as if she’s thinking about something, then she smiles as well. "Ahh, this makes sense then."

  "Wait, what? What's going on here?"

  Mirana's hand loosens her grip on Chase's now and he pulls it away. "You didn't tell her about us, did you?" she asks him. He shakes his head.

  "What the hell kind of... look, I don't know what weird open relationship you two have but I don't want any part-"

  "No, wait," Mirana says, holding her hands up and shaking her head. She looks over at Chase. "Do you love her?"

  Chase looks at me, his deep blue eyes fixated on mine as he nods.

  Mirana turns back to me. "Our marriage isn't real," she says.

  "Mirana, I wasn't going to-"

  She raises her hand again and this time Chase stops talking. "No, it’s not fair to you to keep this secret from her," she says. "You've done too much for me and Diego already. I don't want you to risk losing the woman you love."

  My head is spinning as I try to make sense of everything, but none of it fits yet.

  "What the hell is going on," I demand, looking back between the two of them.

  "I thought you were from immigration," she explains. "That’s why I told you that Chase and I were in love. You came to warn me about him, didn't you? You found out he was married?"

  My head nods automatically but I'm still lost.

  "Denise," I hear Chase explain but my eyes continue to stare at Mirana. Who is this woman?

  Mirana makes a disapproving sound with the back of her throat. "I told you that woman would only cause you grief." She shook her head again as she looked at me. "You can't listen to anything that puta says."

  I have no idea what puta means, but I have a feeling it isn't a term of endearment.

  "You poor woman," she says, putting her hand on mine and squeezing it. "Come back inside. Let's talk. Chase and I can explain."

  My first instinct is to pull my hand away and still run back to the safety of the limousine. To hide behind the tinted windows and let Mark take me back to the airport so I can flee to the familiar and comfortable. My country. My apartment. But what's waiting for me there now anyway? Evelyn is gone. Only Harrison remains. How fucked up is my life if he turns out to be the most stable thing in it?

  "Come," she urges, pulling at my hand. Chase is just watching us without saying a word. At least he has sense enough to keep quiet now.

  "I don't know what's true anymore," I say softly. "You're married but you're not. You were in love a few minutes ago, but now you say you aren't. Chase... so many lies."

  "I never lied about her," Chase says.

  While it’s true that Chase never actually told me he wasn't married, that's a pretty weak argument. I glare at him and his gaze drops away to the ground. He knows the difference is meaningless.

  "It's not his fault," Mirana protests, squeezing my hand again. "Please, come inside and I will explain everything. Chase is a great man. If he loves you, you're very lucky. I do love Chase, but not like that. I love him for a different reason."

  "Why?"

  Mirana shrugs, tugging my hand again and turning toward the house. "Because he saved my life."

  I let Mirana lead me back into the house in a daze as I try to process everything going on, but I'm still so confused. Is Chase a cold hearted asshole or not? That’s the main question I'm still trying to answer.

  "What do you mean, he saved your life? What happened?"

  We're back in the house now, and Chase has followed Diego into his bedroom to see something the boy had created out of Legos. More than likely in an attempt to give me some time alone with Mirana.

  "Diego's father was not a nice man," she starts, her eyes drifting downward to the long dress she wears as she straightens out an imagined crease. "Not to me or Diego. At that time, Chase was dating a friend of mine, Maria. Chase liked to come to Cuba because he wasn't supposed to. He's always doing things like
that. On one of those trips he met Maria and then he would come back about once a month to visit her.

  "It was on one of these trips that he met me. Maria asked me to come out with them to a restaurant on a double date with Juan, Diego's father. Chase knew right away what was going on between us. It was like he could read both of our souls. I had always been able to explain away my injuries to Maria, and she would believe what I told her." Mirana looked up at me, her dark eyes looking fuller, surrounded by unfallen tears. "But Chase didn't. Not for a moment."

  Mirana was quiet for a moment before continuing. "Chase and Maria eventually stopped dating but Chase kept coming back to Cuba on a regular basis for his vacations, and whenever he did he would check in on me. He found out where my parents lived, and he spoke to them about Juan. He had them talk to me. I was stupid back then. And scared. Chase helped me get away. For Diego." She took a long shuddering breath and I put a hand on her knee which she grabbed and squeezed appreciatively.