“She made that clear,” Ronnie said. “As for me being an idiot, I surely was for one night. I guess that mistake was such a whopper that it convinced me I didn’t deserve another chance. It was like I said a minute ago—I thought if I went, Dana Sue would start to miss me. Took me by surprise that she didn’t.”
“And now?”
“Now I’m going to fight for another chance with both my girls.”
Maddie nodded in satisfaction. “About damn time.”
Ronnie grinned. Wasn’t that the truth?
6
It seemed to Dana Sue they’d been waiting a lifetime. She’d prayed, she’d paced the hallways and she’d fought off tears more times than she could count. She’d lost it only once, when she’d been wrapped in Ronnie’s comforting arms, but then she’d remembered how furious she was with him, and had pulled away. She would not allow that man to think he had the right or the ability to ease her pain.
They’d finally settled on opposite sides of the waiting room. She had Maddie and Helen on either side of her, and they were surrounded by Annie’s friends, who’d refused to leave despite the hours that had passed. The sun was already up. Dana Sue glanced guiltily across the room, saw Ronnie sitting all alone and felt a moment’s sympathy for him. Then she reminded herself that he’d chosen to be an outsider.
“Don’t you think you should talk to Ronnie?” Maddie asked gently. “He was right earlier. You do know more than you’ve told him. It might be best to prepare him for whatever the doctor has to say.”
Dana Sue shook her head. “I can’t just walk over there and say that Annie is anorexic and has probably messed up her whole body. I tried before, but I couldn’t get the words out.”
“It won’t get any easier,” Maddie said.
“Leave her alone!” Helen snapped. “If it had been up to me, she wouldn’t have called him at all.”
“Then it’s a good thing you weren’t the one who was with her earlier,” Maddie chided. “Ronnie has a right to know that Annie’s in the hospital. He’s her father.”
“I don’t remember you being all that anxious to involve Bill when Ty was in trouble a few months ago,” Helen retorted.
“Ty made some mistakes. His life wasn’t at stake,” Maddie said pointedly.
“Stop it!” Dana Sue commanded. “Why are you two arguing about this now? For better or worse, Ronnie’s here.”
“Which is it?” Maddie asked, studying her curiously. “Better or worse?”
She sighed. “For a minute, seeing him felt really good,” she admitted. “He was always so calm in a crisis, so supportive. When my mom died, he took care of everything, even though he’d loved her, too. When I saw him tonight, all I wanted was to draw on all that strength.” She shrugged. “Then I remembered how mad I am at him.”
“So rather than lean on him, even under these circumstances, you pushed him away.” Maddie shook her head. “Sometimes I’m not sure which of you is the bigger idiot.”
“Way to be supportive, Maddie,” Helen said sarcastically.
“That’s enough,” Dana Sue exclaimed.
“Of course it is,” Helen said, sounding surprisingly meek. “I’m sorry. You don’t need the two of us bickering with each other.”
“That’s right,” Maddie agreed. “I’m sorry, too.”
Just then a weary-looking doctor finally emerged from the treatment area, paused at the nurses’ station to speak to the receptionist, glanced their way and nodded, then came toward them. His grim expression had Dana Sue reaching for Maddie’s hand.
“I’m Dr. Lane. You’re here with Annie Sullivan?” he asked.
“I’m her mother,” Dana Sue said, tightening her grip on Maddie’s hand.
“And I’m her father,” Ronnie announced, joining them, but avoiding Dana Sue’s gaze. “How is she?”
“I won’t lie to you,” the doctor said. “It’s been touch and go all night, but her age is on her side. I think she’s stable now. We’ve gotten her electrolytes balanced for the moment and her labs are improving, but she’s not out of the woods. If she holds her own for another twenty-four hours and we can start getting some nutrition into her, then she’s got a good chance at recovery.”
All the color had drained from Ronnie’s face as the doctor spoke. Dana Sue felt so shaky she could barely stand. She sank onto the hard, plastic chair, Maddie right beside her.
“What the hell happened?” Ronnie asked. “She’s sixteen. Kids that age don’t have…” His voice faltered. “What did she have?”
“A cardiac arrest,” the doctor said. “Quite a bad one. I imagine she’d been having incidents of arrhythmia for some time now, given her overall condition. Had she mentioned anything? Any odd sensations in her chest?”
Dana Sue shook her head. “Not a word.”
Sarah stepped up and said in a small voice, “I think she might have been having some trouble in gym class. She was getting winded real easy. And she didn’t say it, but I think her chest hurt. One time she admitted she felt kind of funny, like she might pass out, but then she sat down and a few minutes later she said she was okay.”
The doctor nodded. “That fits.”
Ronnie regarded all of them with confusion. “Why would she be having arrhythmia?” he asked. “This doesn’t make any sense. Are you sure?”
“I’m sure,” Dr. Lane said. “I’m the cardiologist on call for this kind of thing. I have to tell you I haven’t seen a heart muscle in such bad shape in a while. It had gotten so weak it was barely pumping.” He looked from Dana Sue to Ronnie. “She was sleeping when this happened, right?”
“She was having a sleepover,” Dana Sue said. “I don’t know how much sleeping was going on.” She looked to Sarah and Raylene.
“Just before it happened, she said she was really tired and wanted to take a quick nap,” Sarah said. “But she wanted us to wake her when we were ready to watch the DVD.”
“But we couldn’t wake her up,” Raylene said.
“Because her heart rate had gone way down,” the doctor said, his expression grim. “Be thankful these girls were with her. If she’d been in her room alone and no one had checked on her before morning, we wouldn’t be having this conversation at all.”
Dana Sue sagged against Maddie. “You mean…”
“She could have died,” the doctor said bluntly.
Dana Sue gasped. Even though the possibility had crossed her mind, hearing the words was devastating.
Ronnie shook his head as if he couldn’t quite process the information. “I don’t understand. She’s sixteen,” he repeated. “She didn’t have any birth defects. Her heart’s always been just fine. The pediatrician would have said something if it wasn’t.”
The doctor regarded him with a sympathetic expression. “Obviously you’re not aware of her eating disorder.”
“Her what?” Ronnie said incredulously. He stared hard at Dana Sue. “Annie has an eating disorder?”
The doctor’s gaze was on Dana Sue, as well. “I’d guess she’s anorexic. Isn’t that right, Mrs. Sullivan?”
Numb, Dana Sue could only nod. There would be no denying the truth after tonight, even if she’d wanted to.
Ronnie looked as if he wanted to hit something. “How the hell did something like that happen?” he demanded. “I can’t say I know a lot about eating disorders, but to get to this point, it doesn’t happen overnight, does it?”
The doctor shook his head. “No. It takes time to put this much strain on the body’s organs.”
“Dammit, Dana Sue, I’ve been gone for two years. Where were you while this was happening?” Ronnie asked.
“Where were you?” Helen snapped back when Dana Sue couldn’t seem to think of a reply.
The doctor held up a hand. “That’s not the issue right now. I think we all need to focus on getting Annie through this crisis, getting her lab work back to normal. Then we’ll bring in a team of experts. Anorexia is a complicated disorder. There’s no quick, sure fix. Together w
e’ll decide what needs to be done to keep this from happening again. We may recommend that Annie go into a treatment facility where they can monitor her more closely. You should prepare yourselves for that possibility.”
Shattered, Dana Sue nodded.
“Sure,” Ronnie said, but his scowl remained firmly in place. “Will she have damage to her heart from this?”
“Not the same kind of damage she’d have if she’d had a heart attack caused by a blockage. That can destroy some of the heart tissue. Right now, the muscle’s simply weak and her electrolytes are all out of whack. Those are things that can be corrected, assuming she deals with the underlying cause—the anorexia.”
Ronnie seemed to be struggling to take it all in. “Can I see her now?”
“We’ve moved her to a room in ICU. You and Mrs. Sullivan can go in for five minutes. Not a second longer,” he told them firmly. “And whatever issues you two have with each other, leave them at the door, understood? She’s asleep right now, but even so, she might hear what you’re saying or be aware of any tension between you. She doesn’t need the added stress.”
Ronnie nodded. His gaze softened slightly as he turned to Dana Sue. “You ready?”
She hesitated for an instant, but then Ronnie held out his hand. Unable to resist, she took it, steeling herself for the jolt of awareness the contact was destined to bring.
Then all that mattered was the strength that seemed to flow through her as they followed the doctor to the elevator. For this one brief moment, it didn’t seem to matter that Ronnie had betrayed her, then left her. All that mattered was Annie and that the two of them were there for her…and for each other.
The instant she felt stronger, though, Dana Sue pulled away and strode on ahead. She could not allow herself to count on Ronnie’s support. The last time she’d trusted him, the last time she’d relied on him for anything, he’d cheated on her. If she needed to remind herself of that a thousand times a day, she would. She would never let herself be in a position to get her heart broken like that again.
After what he’d just learned in the E.R., Ronnie wished he’d been able to see Annie on his own, but he could hardly deny Dana Sue the right to be there when they’d both been waiting half the night for the chance to see their little girl. At the very least, he wished they’d been able to lean on each other for support, but aside from that one moment of weakness when he’d first arrived, and the brief contact she’d permitted in the elevator, Dana Sue had kept her distance. Even now, she was walking ahead of him as if determined to reach Annie’s side before he did, as if it was some sort of contest.
He had so many questions it took every ounce of restraint he possessed not to let them come pouring out. The doctor was right. There would be time enough for questions and accusations later, once he’d seen Annie and developed a real sense of just how bad things had gotten in his absence.
At the door to Annie’s ICU cubicle, Dr. Lane paused. “Remember what I told you both,” he said sternly. “Five minutes and no arguing.”
Ronnie nodded. “We understand.”
He held the door and Dana Sue walked in ahead of him, then swayed backward. He steadied her with a hand on her waist.
“You okay?” he asked, regarding her with concern.
She squared her shoulders and met his gaze. “Of course,” she said, then moved quickly to Annie’s bedside.
Ronnie was slower to approach. The room had the same antiseptic smell as the emergency room, which was disconcerting enough. But here there was an odd stillness, as well. Annie was never still, never quiet. The silence was broken only by the steady beeping of some monitor and Dana Sue’s barely contained sigh as she sat down beside the bed.
“Hi, sweetie,” she whispered, taking Annie’s hand in hers. “Mom’s here. So is your dad.”
Ronnie finally managed to propel himself forward, but when he caught sight of his daughter’s wan, gaunt face and the IV hooked up to her arm, the oxygen being fed through her nose, he almost stumbled.
“Oh, my God,” he gasped, horrified not just by all the tubes and monitors, but by the teenager who was so thin she barely made a ripple in the sheets.
Dana Sue cast a warning look in his direction and he managed to smother the damning accusations on the tip of his tongue. Instead he moved to the other side of the bed and sat. Since the IV was attached to that hand, he settled for stroking a finger along Annie’s thin, icy arm.
“Hey, angel. You’ve given your mom and me quite a scare, but you’re going to be fine. The doctor says you just need a little rest. Mom and I will be right here, okay? We’ll be in the waiting room right outside. If you need us, all you have to do is tell the nurse and she’ll get us. And we’ll be in to talk to you every time they let us.”
“That’s right,” Dana Sue confirmed. “We’re not going anywhere. All your friends are here, too. Sarah’s mad as heck at you for spoiling the sleepover. She says she’s expecting you to throw another one ASAP. And Raylene says she’ll keep track of all your assignments at school, so you won’t fall behind. I think she said it because she’s jealous you’re going to miss a few classes, and wants to be sure you don’t get out of any of the homework.”
Ronnie couldn’t be sure, but it almost looked as if Dana Sue’s words stirred a faint hint of a smile on Annie’s face. He glanced up and saw the nurse motioning to them. He walked around the bed and laid a hand on Dana Sue’s shoulder, then leaned down and pressed a kiss to Annie’s forehead.
“We have to leave you for a little while—they won’t let us stay,” he told her. “See you later, kiddo.”
Dana Sue stood reluctantly, her eyes filled with tears. “You’re going to be fine, sweetie. I promise. We’ll be back soon.”
Outside the room, she wobbled on her feet. As furious as he was at his daughter’s condition, Ronnie took her elbow and steadied her.
“We need to talk,” he said tightly.
“Not now,” she pleaded.
“Yes, now. We’ll go to the cafeteria. You look like you’re about to pass out. You need some food.”
“I can’t eat.”
“You can,” he said firmly. When her chin jutted stubbornly, he asked, “Do I have to throw you over my shoulder and carry you down there? I will, you know. As mad as I am, the prospect of causing a scene doesn’t bother me in the slightest.”
Her defiant gaze clashed with his, and for a second he thought she might test him. But she finally gave him a disgusted look and started down the hall on her own.
He followed her to the cafeteria, got a tray and began piling on food. Juice, fresh fruit, a bagel and cream cheese, scrambled eggs, pancakes and two cups of coffee.
“You feeding a lumberjack?” Dana Sue asked when he reached for a second plate of pancakes.
He studied the array of food on the tray and decided there was enough for the two of them. He knew Dana Sue. Despite her claim that she wasn’t hungry, she always ate in a crisis. And it had been a very long time since that fast-food dinner he’d had the night before.
“I guess this will do,” he conceded, paying the cashier. Then he led the way to a table just being vacated near a window. After all those hours in which time had seemed to drag, he was surprised to see the sun well up in the morning sky.
The cafeteria was bustling with visiting families and staff. It was a far cry from the few exhausted customers who’d been here when he and Maddie had come down for coffee earlier.
Ronnie put all the dishes on the table, then placed the empty tray on a neighboring one. He divided the eggs and pancakes between them, put a plate in front of Dana Sue and began to eat. When she continued to sit perfectly still, her food untouched, he grinned at her.
“You’re going to need fortification to fight with me,” he commented. “Eat. The pancakes are good. The eggs are edible. They won’t be once they get cold.”
“Now there’s a reason to dive in,” she retorted, but she picked up her fork and tasted the pancakes.
“Well?”
he asked.
“Not as good as the ones I do for Sunday brunch at Sullivan’s.”
He bit back a smile. Even under these circumstances, her competitive streak kicked in.
“Once Annie’s well, I’ll have to come by and try yours,” he said, taking a sip of orange juice. “I seem to recall they were pretty spectacular when you made them for us on holiday mornings.”
“Don’t start dredging up ancient history, Ronnie,” she said. “I have no desire to stroll down memory lane with you.”
“Okay, then, let’s talk about something more recent,” he said, looking directly into her eyes and removing the kid gloves with which he’d been treating her. “How the hell did Annie get into the shape she’s in?”
“A lot of teenage girls have eating disorders,” Dana Sue said defensively.
“I only care about our teenage daughter. How did things get this bad without your taking some kind of action?”
Dana Sue dropped her fork and burst into tears. “I don’t know,” she whispered. “I honestly don’t know. I thought I was on top of it. I fixed good food for her. She swore to me she was eating it. I guess I just didn’t want to believe she would lie to me about something so important.”
Ronnie was too angry to allow himself to feel even a moment’s pity for her obvious anguish. “You were here. You had to know there was something wrong. Good God, she can’t even weigh ninety pounds.”
Eyes blazing, Dana Sue glared right back at him. “Don’t you think I know that? Don’t you think I’ve asked myself a thousand times why I didn’t force the issue sooner? I did the best I could, Ronnie. I talked to her. The whole sleepover was supposed to give me some idea if she was doing this on her own or if her friends were just as obsessed with dieting as she was.”
“Too little, too damn late!”
“Don’t you dare blame all this on me!” she said. “Where were you?”
He dismissed a momentary pang of guilt and retaliated with a barb of his own. “I was where you wanted me to be—gone.”
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