by Leigh Riker
“You worry too much.”
“I’m also worried,” he said, “that you haven’t forgiven me for everything, then and even now.”
Her tone softened. “You’re forgiven. How else can we exist as neighbors?”
Another silence made Cooper wonder what they were doing. Were they overcome by emotion? Had Ned given her a hug? Kissed her? Maybe he should find out. Now. But he didn’t take that first step. Cooper heard some murmured words he couldn’t catch until Ned asked a question that seemed far too innocent.
“What’s that I smell cooking?”
His mom raised her voice so Cooper could hear. “I guess it’s your dinner.”
* * *
AS SHE’D EXPECTED, hours later, Nell couldn’t sleep. She’d been wide-awake at nearly midnight when PawPaw finally came in, clumping up the stairs to his bedroom. Where had he been all evening? Her ears alert, she’d listened for Cooper too, but he never came home. She supposed he’d taken that watch for the coyotes again. Or was he staying out because he was angry with her? That mattered more than it once had. Nell turned over, punched her pillow, then gave up.
She wouldn’t rest tonight. She wondered about Olivia, who’d gone to the hospital, Annabelle’s advice kept playing in her mind and at last Nell flung back the covers. Trying not to wake her grandfather across the hall, she dressed hurriedly, fingers shaking on her shirt buttons. She fumbled to find her jeans, her boots. PawPaw already suspected her relationship with Cooper wasn’t on the level, and maybe Cooper, as well as Annabelle, had been right. About her.
In the barn, she quickly saddled Bear. “Sorry, boy. I’m sure you’d rather sleep.”
She led him outside, mounted up and, with the moon and her lifelong knowledge of the NLS’s terrain as a guide, she headed for the border of Cooper’s former land. If he wasn’t there, she could turn back.
In the darkness, Bear stopped short. Cooper hadn’t made a fire—that would have alerted the coyote pack. His horse stood picketed in a small stand of nearby trees, and Cooper lay covered to his shoulders in a bedroll, one arm behind his head, looking up at the stars.
“I almost rode right over you,” she said, leaning on her saddle horn to gaze down at him. “Why didn’t you say something?”
Cooper turned his head. “I heard you. That horse wouldn’t step on me. Decided to wait you out.”
“Are you that mad at me?” He’d always been stubborn.
“No. Not sulking either. I’m enjoying the great outdoors. Hear that horned owl deep in the woods?” Nell didn’t. All she heard were the horses stamping an occasional hoof. “He spooked Domino a while ago, but I couldn’t blame him. The owl is out here looking for a mate. The herd’s silent though. The coyotes might come this way later. Got your shotgun?”
“I didn’t come after the coyotes,” she murmured, not certain she wanted to have this conversation after all. “I got worried. And I couldn’t sleep, wondering where Pawpaw was so late.”
His white teeth gleamed in the night. “He and my mother had dinner. Well, I was there too, but afterward I fetched Domino and camped here.”
“Dinner,” she said. “I can’t even imagine that.”
He touched his bruised jaw. “They’ve made a truce of sorts—partially based, I’d guess, on my mom’s expertise with a rolling pin and her excellent fried chicken. The way to a man’s heart,” he said.
It had been a long time since Nell’s grandmother had passed away, and by necessity PawPaw had learned to cook for himself. She led Bear to a sapling near Cooper’s horse and tied him to it. He was so well trained he didn’t really need any restraint; he’d have stayed ground-tied by his reins until morning, waiting for Nell forever if necessary, but she’d wanted a moment to take in what Cooper had said. Still unable to believe what she’d heard, she walked over to his makeshift bed. “You think they’re...?”
“Friends, maybe more in the making. People do change. Even Ned. I’d say that could work for you and me too.” His gaze met hers in the dark. “Why’d you really ride out here?” She heard a lighter tone in his voice. “Were you looking for me?”
Nell’s courage had deserted her. She, who prided herself on independence, on being as tough as anyone on the NLS, couldn’t speak.
His low voice, edging on a rasp, went through her with a zing. “Maybe you thought over what I said before.”
“Maybe I did.”
He sighed. “Nell, either we make this thing between us real, see where all these feelings take us, or we go on as we have. But that’s not going to work much longer,” he said, then paused. “What are you so afraid of?”
Nell cleared her throat. Annabelle had seen that too, but she didn’t know if she could put this into words. “Fourteen years,” she said. “Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to make a choice then? Between this ranch, my family and...the man I loved?”
“The same as it was for me, Nell. Losing you.”
Her breath seemed to lock in her lungs. “Cooper, I don’t—I’m not sure—I could do that a second time. What if... What if everything goes bad again? I don’t want to choose between the NLS and you.”
His tone was almost a whisper. “Neither do I.”
“Then don’t make your offer to PawPaw.”
“And do what instead, Nell? Keep on being your foreman—not moving up like Hadley said—trying to make up to Ned for things I told him long ago?” He shook his head. “That’s no life for me. Neither is playing at this marriage of ours, one without everything a marriage should be. That’s not fair to me, and if you’re honest, it’s not fair to you either. You really want half a life?”
“I want the NLS,” she insisted. Then her voice dropped and the words came out shaken. “I don’t want to get hurt.”
“I don’t want to hurt you,” he said, “or to get hurt myself. So where does that leave us now?”
She shivered, remembering what Annabelle had said about a war. “Making excuses for you to stay out all night like we did before? Lying to everyone? Me hoping PawPaw doesn’t cut me out of his will? No,” she said, then tried to find the shreds of the courage she’d lost, deep inside. Her heart threatened to beat out of her chest. Afraid? Yes, but this was her chance to tell him she didn’t want a divorce, or rather an annulment; that she had fallen for him again, or even loved him still. Maybe it was time for her to take this risk. “It’s cold” was all she could think to say. “In July, you could camp out here but, coyotes or not, you’re going to freeze by morning. Unless you want me...to stay with you.”
Cooper didn’t answer. For another too-long minute, he lay there, one arm still behind his head, his gaze steady on hers. “It’s your choice.” Then he shifted his position and held out a hand.
For one more second, she hesitated. If she joined him now, there would be no going back. She’d be giving Cooper her trust along with everything else. Including her heart. Maybe, in the end, they would hurt each other.
But what other choice was there?
At last, without another word, she took his outstretched hand.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
“‘MORNING, SUNSHINE.”
The low rumble of Cooper’s voice slid along her spine like a warm caress. He stood behind her at the kitchen sink, where Nell was rinsing dishes from her breakfast. They’d ridden home just before dawn, surprising her grandfather, who was already in the barn feeding Beauty. PawPaw had raised both eyebrows but refrained from saying anything.
“Mmm,” she said as Cooper lowered his head to kiss the nape of her neck. Nell actually shivered, and water sloshed over her hands from the running tap. She’d come up to the house alone while Cooper helped with the morning feeding and she hadn’t seen him since.
He’d skipped his usual eggs and bacon. “Are you hungry?”
“Yeah.”
“I’ll fix you something,” she said.
“More than.” She relished the feel of his arms around her waist, the warm and solid strength of him against her, the knowledge that they’d agreed to make their marriage real, trusting each other with their hearts. “I think we shocked PawPaw though.”
“At least we put an end to his wondering about us.” He reached around her to shut off the faucet. “Let Jesse do this—and the rest. We’re taking the day off.”
Her pulse stuttered. “Cooper, you should see the list of chores I made while you were at the barn.”
“Don’t care. Grey just called from the hospital. Sawyer and Olivia have a new son, born about an hour ago. Let’s celebrate.”
“Oh, that’s lovely. Everyone okay?”
“Healthy and happy. And we’ve been working hard enough to earn a break.”
The idea tempted her, almost as much as he did, but Nell shook her head, her hair sliding against his shoulder. When she gave in, she certainly did it all the way, which should have put her on alert. Maybe risking herself by giving him her trust hadn’t been wise, but it was thrilling too. “Have you forgotten? I’m still your boss—even if PawPaw did rehire Hadley Smith.”
“He hasn’t said I’m out of a job and, yes, I realize you’re the boss, but I’m a happy man today—most of all because we spent time last night talking. So—” he turned her around “—get whatever you need. We’ll ride Bear and Domino over to check on Mom, then keep going. A nice long day in the sun, not a care in the world, enjoying the land.” He paused. “And I have a surprise for you later.”
Nell twined her arms around his neck. “If you want me to go with you, maybe you should tell me. I’ve had enough surprises.”
“You drive a hard bargain.” Cooper pressed his forehead to hers. “But I’m not doing this alone.”
Nell reached for a dish towel hanging by the sink. She wiped her hands, thinking, This is all kinds of crazy, at the same instant she was mentally packing a picnic lunch for them to take. “I suppose I could use a few hours off,” she admitted.
Maybe it would please PawPaw to know Nell was spending time with her new husband instead of the cows, in his view behaving like the wife he wanted her to be. He was wrong, of course, that once a woman fell in love she could no longer do her job. How to prove that to him? She had to.
But in the next second, even that fear fled from her mind. Cooper had bent his head to her once more and was kissing Nell until her senses spun.
“Ahem.” From behind them, Jesse said, “Pardon me for interrupting.”
Cooper raised his head to look straight at her brother. “Just doing what married people do. Since you’re so set on running this ranch, we’ll leave you and Ned to it for the day. I’m taking Nell for a ride, then out for a fancy dinner.”
* * *
IT HAD BEEN a long while since Amy and Hadley had eaten a meal together, and she rushed around the small kitchen of her apartment, setting the island counter with cheerful place mats and the stoneware she’d once shared with him at the foreman’s house on the NLS. He set their cutlery in the proper positions by the plates, then faced her. “You sure you’re up to this? You don’t have to fuss.”
“I enjoy fussing.” Over you, she added silently. Maybe if he remembered their good times, as she often did, he’d change his mind about them, but so far Hadley only remembered their quarrels instead.
He hadn’t said a word to her about the twins since that day in Sawyer’s office. Amy had no clue how he felt about having two babies at once, yet his stunned face had seemed to say everything. She hadn’t seen him since, and in fact, she’d been shocked when he called earlier to ask if he could stop by. She still didn’t know why, but when he asked how she was feeling, she said, “Like the luckiest mother-to-be in this world. That’s how.”
“I have to admire your positive attitude.”
Amy went past him to the range, where a bubbling pot of veal stew sent its rich aroma into the air. Suddenly, the room seemed even tinier than it was. Hadley’s presence always sucked the very oxygen from any space, his size and innate power both a comfort to her and a reminder of how small she was. Not that he would ever harm her. Even during their worst arguments about her well-to-do family or Amy’s spending habits, he’d rarely raised his voice.
“I’d like to know how you feel about this,” she said after taking a breath. “I thought it was a miracle, seeing both of them together inside me. It is a miracle, Hadley.”
“I didn’t say it wasn’t...isn’t,” he added.
“You know all I’ve ever wanted was to have children with you.”
“And you’ve heard my reasons for not wanting to be a father. We kept having that argument over and over. It’s partly why we’re divorced now.”
Amy almost stamped her foot in frustration. “We’re not divorced. We’re still married and I’d like to stay that way. Or do you think I tricked you with this pregnancy?”
“No.” But his mouth set. “I grew up mostly on my own. Living here and there with foster parents until they decided they didn’t want me or I gave them some reason to kick me out. Which I did more than once, stupid kid that I was. When we met, I wasn’t good husband material. I never learned how to be.” A muscle ticked in his jaw. “And I won’t be a good father.”
“You’re already a father.” She fought the urge to brain him with the cooking pot. Instead, she pulled it off the burner so the stew wouldn’t overcook. “Like it or not, Hadley.” She turned away. “Maybe you should have thought twice—even three times—before you spent that last night with me months ago.” Her back to him, she banged a wooden spoon against the side of the pan. “I wasn’t here by myself.”
“I know that.” He blew out a breath. “It happened, okay? I’ll take responsibility for my part. Here.” When she turned around, he had drawn something from his jeans pocket and handed it to her. “My pay this week from the NLS.”
Amy blinked. “You’re foreman again?”
“Not yet,” he said, “but Ned hired me back, gave me this advance, and it’s only a matter of time before he gets rid of Cooper Ransom.” He frowned. “Though Cooper’s sure got Ned’s granddaughter under his spell. You should have seen them this morning, riding out side by side, holding hands.”
She tucked the money in her pocket. “Really?” Amy loved a good romance.
“I couldn’t believe they left Jesse in charge for the day. He didn’t last long before he disappeared into the house. But at least I got the chance to show Ned I’d be the better man as foreman.”
“He’s already aware of that.” Amy knew Nell quite well too. She couldn’t imagine her married, really; Nell’s sole focus had been the NLS when Amy lived there with Hadley, but Amy never understood Nell’s desire to inherit that ranch. She preferred living in town. “If Nell’s happy with her new...husband,” she nearly choked on the word, “then Ned might change his view about Cooper. Prefer him, I mean, to you. I realize you loved that job, but it could be better for you to move on.”
She could tell he didn’t appreciate her advice. “Are we going to eat?” he asked, frowning.
With quick, angry motions, she began to dish up the stew, ladling it into two bowls. Because of his background, he was never easy to be with, though Amy understood why. She plunked large chunks of freshly baked sourdough bread onto their plates. “There. Sit. Eat.”
“Amy.” Another quick expulsion of breath as he reached out to take her shoulders in his big hands. “I never mean to say the things I do. They just come out of my mouth before I can stop them. They get me in trouble—”
“Yes. They do.”
His gaze left hers. Hadley stared at his boots. “I came to give you that money. I want the...kids to have whatever they need, and you too. I’m not as bad as my father, who abandoned everyone.”
�
�And I’m not the weak woman you think you married.” She softened her words with a little smile. Of course, the first thing she’d done after he walked in was to invite him for dinner like a pushover. Though she admitted, he was right—they did seem to want different things. “I still love you, Hadley. Do with that as you wish. It’s the truth, and some day you’ll believe it.”
She’d left him speechless.
“I appreciate you asking me to stay,” he finally said. “This stew smells good.”
Amy sat beside him and picked up her spoon. He’d love their babies when they came. If she’d gotten this far, maybe they’d be together again.
* * *
THE BON APPETIT, Jack Hancock’s new restaurant in the former Annabelle’s Diner, already had a good reputation, and with Jack as head chef, the food lived up to its hype—as unlikely as it had seemed that the higher-end French place would succeed in a town the size of Barren. Jack had pulled out all the stops for Nell and Cooper, yet even his excellent bœuf bourguignonne failed to take her mind off other things.
“Feeling guilty?” Cooper asked. He knew Nell too well.
“I’ve never taken an entire day off before, even when I caught the flu one winter. I bundled up and fed cattle in a snowstorm anyway.” She added, “At least I didn’t feel the cold. I was burning up inside.”
Cooper frowned. “That won’t happen again. You could have died out there, Nell, but I’m grateful you didn’t.” Then his features lightened. “Let’s not spoil tonight. More wine?”
Nell shook her head. “One glass was enough.” They’d toasted each other, then Olivia and Sawyer’s new baby boy. “I can’t believe Jack stocks such a pricey French label though. Most people around here don’t have that kind of money to spend.” She glanced at Cooper. “Have you won the lottery or something?”
He took in the small private room Jack had prepared for them—Annabelle’s former office—with a white-clothed table set with fine china and sterling silverware. Ivory candles flickered in the center between them, softening the planes and angles of Cooper’s face. “No, but I wanted to give you a nice evening. The day too,” he said, reminding Nell of the long ride they’d taken among the herd under a clear blue sky. The grass had smelled sweet in the spring weather, and for those hours together, she had to admit, she’d relaxed as she rarely had an opportunity to do.
