by Franca Storm
Chapter 22
~Ax~
I take another gulp from my glass of scotch as I stare blankly at the TV in front of me and some car show that’s on. I ain’t even watching it. I just needed some background noise to distract me from my thoughts. Didn’t work for shit, though.
Rox is pregnant? Pregnant?
Seeing how nervous she was ‘bout my reaction to it, I had to get on board real quick with it all. But, the truth is, I’m fucking worried. This is just like last time. She’s pregnant at the worst time possible. Even though what she did to get rid of the rest of the assholes on my hit list has succeeded big time. Ralph called her when we first got back here to give her the good news. What she did worked and the list is taken care of. Except for Kent. And that fucker’s as dangerous as all of ‘em combined. And now she’s screwed up with him, making herself his enemy in her stupid attempt to protect me. Jesus! Things couldn’t be more fucking dangerous.
I don’t want this.
All these months, I been planning a way for us to be together with wiping out every motherfucking threat, so, when I went to get my girl back, it’d be safe for her.
But now all that’s gone to shit.
We’re back together with her pregnant and we got the Kent threat hanging over our heads.
It’s making me sick to my stomach. It’s why I flipped out in my office like that when Dealer told me ‘bout her having my kid in her.
I was a fool to go to her at all. I shoulda just let Dealer take her to one of his safe houses. I shoulda figured that the second I saw her, all bets would be off, that I’d screw up my plan of staying away and keeping my hands off her and shit. But getting the opportunity to see her again screwed with my head. I couldn’t see straight. Never could when it came to her.
And now she’s in danger, cuz of me.
I gotta do better this time. I gotta protect what’s mine.
I ain’t a fool. I know what the cost might be.
My life.
No way I can tell Rox that. She’d flip out. The last thing I want is to leave our kid fatherless, but it’s a better bet than leaving her childless. Again. I can’t do it. I can’t lose my kid and I can’t bear the idea of her getting hurt again either.
Dealer was right. I gotta be prepared to go all the way here. Gotta be all in on this fight against Kent.
If anything happens to me, I know, without a doubt, that the boys and Dealer will make sure Rox is taken care of and that her and our kid won’t never want for nothing. But I gotta do whatever I can to stop it from coming to that. I just fucking promised her upstairs that I wouldn’t leave her again and I don’t wanna have to go back on that, cuz I meant it. It’s just that, I ain’t naïve enough not to recognize that it might be a risk, even if I don’t want it to be.
Every man likes to think he’s invincible and that he’ll be enough when shit happens and he’s gotta protect his family. I’m up there with the best of ‘em. But you just never really know. Am I gonna be enough for her? I’m gonna fight like hell and I’ll keep fighting ‘til I can’t draw in another goddamn breath. To protect her. To rip apart any fucker who dares to lay a hand on what’s mine. Don’t mean I’m gonna win, though. And that doubt is fucking killing me. Cuz I can’t lose her. Not again. I can’t fucking let ‘em take her from me!
Seeing her on that highway, getting shot at by Kent’s guys, nearly had my heart ceasing up. Pure fucking fear had almost crippled me. Nah, weren’t just fear. It was terror. Knowing their next shot coulda ripped away everything in a goddamn split second. Can’t do that again. But now the old Rox is back, so is her stubborn ass I-can-handle-my-own-shit attitude. And that bullshit’s gonna put her in danger if I don’t shut it down.
So, I’m gonna.
Gonna shut her down big time. Don’t care if I gotta cuff her to the damn bed up at the clubhouse. She’s going on lockdown again. And she ain’t coming outta it ‘til Kent’s in the fucking ground.
I ain’t doing it again.
Ain’t losing her or our kid.
It ain’t something a man can survive the second time ‘round. The first time’s still haunting me. Can’t get it outta my head and I know I ain’t never gonna.
But this is our second chance here.
Nothing and no one’s gonna take that away from me.
Gonna keep my girl and our kid safe no matter what I gotta do to make it happen, no matter what the price is gonna be. So, if it’s me who needs to pay it, so be it. As long as Rox is safe, I don’t care. Nothing else matters.
I down the last drop of the scotch in my glass. I’m ‘bout to pour another from the bottle on the coffee table when my cell buzzes in the pocket of my jeans.
I pull it out and eye the call display.
Smiter.
My stomach lurches. It’s late. It means there’s an emergency. The Sergeant-at-Arms don’t call the Prez at three in the fucking morning just to shoot the shit.
“Yeah?” I answer. What the fuck is it now?
“We got a situation, Prez.”
No shit. “What?”
“It’s Dealer.”
“He found Kent?” After Ralph pulled up surveillance ‘round Brockford when we were looking for Rox, we ID’d Kent on it, too. Cameras tracked his route outta the city and Dealer went after him.
“No confirmation on that. No confirmation at all. He’s missed the check-in time by an hour.”
Fuck.
Before I can get a word out, he goes on, “Ax, we could be looking at worst case shit here. Kent having him, yeah?”
My blood runs fucking ice cold.
Right then, all the memories of what that fucker did to me when I was his prisoner, rise to the surface. Visions hitting me like I were there right now. Like I’m still there and never left. Agony. Torture. That sadistic, sick smirk on his face as he was tryin’ to break me.
“Ax? You still there? You all right, brother?”
Dunno how I manage to pull myself outta it. But I do. I shoot to my feet, clutching the phone so fucking tight in a white-knuckle grip. “Yeah.”
“We gotta take precautions. Speaking from a security standpoint, you being outside the clubhouse right now ain’t a good idea. I get that Rox weren’t feeling up to the ride, but you gotta—”
“I’m heading back.”
“Those back roads ‘round your place ain’t the best in the dark for bikes. Want me to send a truck and a couple of the boys as security?”
“Based on what you telling me here, we don’t got the time, Smiter.”
“I—”
“I gotta move.”
“All right. See you in a few.”
“Yeah.”
As soon as we hang up, I text Grit: On my way back. Set up war meet. Tomorrow. First thing.
He texts back right away: War?
Gotta be ready.
Defensive, not offensive first then?
Don’t want it to come to it, but depends where Kent takes it.
Hear that, Prez. Watch your back. Ride safe.
Always.
Stuffing my phone in my back pocket, I snap into action.
I race up the stairs and barrel down the corridor to my bedroom. I throw open the door, ready to wake Rox up quick and get us the hell outta here. Smiter was right. Ain’t gonna put nothing past Kent right now. If he’s got Dealer, that’s a bold fucking move. All bets are off then.
I stop in my tracks as I catch sight of her sleeping in my bed.
Fuck me.
It’s like a kick in the junk.
She’s out cold. Got the covers wrapped ‘round her like a snug little cocoon. So peaceful. And, for the life of me, I don’t wanna pull her outta that. Right now she’s oblivious to all the shit I just got told. Thinks she’s safe here with me. Thinks everything’s okay.
Fuck!
When’s it gonna be okay? When’s it gonna be safe—her being with a man like me?
The whole thing with the list had me thinking I could do it. I thought we could find
a way to be together without me fucking up her life and putting her in danger. But…shit. She’s already here now. She’s mine again. Made that damn clear to her earlier. And it ain’t even safe yet. And she’s pregnant.
And I’m…I’m…a selfish fucker.
I shoulda waited.
If I had she woulda never gone after Kent and she wouldn’t be his fucking mark right now.
“Neil?”
Shit. My gaze snaps to hers. I was so worked up in my own head that I didn’t even see her sitting up in bed looking at me, wondering what I’m doing just standing here in the doorway staring into space like a damn psycho, or something.
“Yeah, babe?” I manage to get out as I fight to push all this anxiety down. I don’t want her knowing what’s really going on.
I just decided I ain’t gonna tell her.
It’s for the best, cuz I know how she is. If she knew what I know—‘bout her dad—she’d fucking go to war on her own before me or the boys could blink.
And I sure as shit ain’t letting that happen.
“What are you…is it morning?”
I walk over to the bed. “Nah, babe. It’s still real late.”
“Oh,” she says, tryin’ to get her bearings after just waking up. “You’re coming to bed then?”
You ain’t got no idea how much I wish that was it.
I sit down on the edge of the bed and stroke her soft brown hair. “We gotta head back to the clubhouse tonight. Can’t wait ‘til later tomorrow no more.”
“What? Why?”
“Got some club business that needs taking care of ASAP.”
She tenses at my words. “Club business? You mean regarding Malcolm Kent?”
I shake my head. “Nah. The boys need me up there is all.”
She frowns and I see her searching my eyes. She don’t believe me right off the bat. My girl ain’t naïve; that’s why. Didn’t expect nothing less.
I hold my gaze steady, not fool enough to make the mistake of looking away and letting her know I’m lying to her face here.
She keeps looking, saying nothing. Something flashes in her eyes. Shit. Can she see it? Can she see that I’m lying?
“Oh, shit,” she cries suddenly, looking away.
She scrambles out from under the covers, her movements making me stand up from the bed.
The sudden sight of her sexy naked body on full display just a foot from me has my dick hard in a second. Jesus Christ. It takes everything I got to just focus my attention where I need to.
“Rox? What’s wrong?”
“Stupid morning sickness.” She slaps her hand to her mouth and runs for the door.
I rush out after her and find her skidding to her knees in front of the toilet in the bathroom and lifting the seat up quickly.
She throws her hand out at me and yells, “Shut the door!”
She’s so anxious ‘bout it that I just do it right away. As soon as it closes, I hear her spilling her guts inside the bathroom.
Shit.
***
I’m pacing up and down outside the bathroom door like a caged wild animal, getting more and more anxious with every passing second she’s still in there.
It’s been ten minutes now.
Fuck this. I ain’t waiting no longer. Need a visual to make sure she’s really okay. I know this morning sickness is the way it goes for a lot of pregnant women, but that don’t make hearing it, or my girl going through, it any better.
I knock on the door. “Rox?”
“Fine,” she chokes. “I’m…fine.”
Don’t sound fine.
I throw open the door and storm inside.
She’s sitting against the wall beside the toilet, her head back and her eyes closed as she pants out breath after breath. She ain’t naked no more. Got a towel wrapped ‘round her. I skid to my knees beside her and pull her into me.
“Urgh…” she murmurs into my shoulder.
I brush her sweat-drenched hair outta her face. “I know, babe. I know.”
“Every time I’m here, I’m throwing up in your bathroom,” she says, agitatedly.
Next thing I know, she’s pushing me away.
“Rox?” I question, as I back off and get to my feet.
“I don’t want you to see me like this,” she says, standing up and holding her hand up in front of her face.
“Like what?”
“Throwing up and looking like crap. Disgusting.”
“You ain’t disgusting. You’re—”
“Right, I’m pregnant. I feel disgusting. I look disgusting. And I don’t want you seeing me like it. Okay, Neil? Do you get that?”
Whoa. “Rox, come on.”
She brings her hand down and I see right away how pissed she is. Shit. That came on real quick. “Just get out!”
“Babe—”
“I know, we need to ride. Just give me ten minutes to…fix myself. Just some fucking time alone without you hovering like that and…and…looking at me. Stop it! Stop looking at me! Stop seeing me like this!” She runs her fingers through her hair and turns her back to me. “I’m ugly and disgusting and I don’t want you to see. Just go.”
Like hell I am.
I stalk over to her and close the distance between us. I wrap my arms ‘round her, her back to my chest. She starts tryin’ to fight me, tryin’ to break my grip, but I hold firm. “Stop it, Rox. Stop fighting me and just listen, cuz I ain’t letting you go ‘til you do.”
“Argh!” she growls under her breath. But she stops struggling, knowing it’s her best bet to just damn well listen to me.
“You’re tired. You’re stressed after all the shit that’s gone down lately. And you just spent the last ten minutes chucking your guts up. You finally got a bit of rest earlier then I went and woke you up. Okay? You ain’t thinking clear. This shit is all in your head. Cuz, let me tell you, you’re so damn sexy, babe. It ain’t even just me saying this. You got no idea the shit I had to threaten the boys with to keep ‘em in line when it came to you. Know how hard it was to force ‘em not to even look your way? You’re a bombshell, babe. Any man with his eyes open knows it.” I tighten my hold ‘round her. “And to me, you’re way more than even that. The whole package—everything you are—is sexy to me, Rox. And now you’re carrying our kid in you…fuck…you’re so damn beautiful. You’re my beautiful girl.”
I grind my cock against her.
She gasps in surprise.
“Yeah. That’s just from holding you, babe. That’s what you do to me. So, I don’t wanna have you thinking ‘bout yourself like that again, yeah? You see now…you see how sexy, how beautiful you are?”
She murmurs something.
“What’s that?” I press. “You feel me, or not?”
“Yes,” she grits out, still pissed. And then I hear more softness in her tone, as she adds, “Yes, I feel you.” She’s calming down and actually accepting what I’ve told her. She ain’t just saying it so I’ll let her go.
“Good girl.” I kiss the top of her head and then I let her go and step back. “You okay to get dressed now?”
She turns ‘round to face me and I see a faint smile there as she says, “Yeah.”
I turn to go and leave her to whatever she’s gotta do in here.
“Neil?” she calls out to me.
I eye her over my shoulder. “Yeah, Rox?”
“Thanks.”
“Least I can do.” I eye her belly. “You’re the one doing all the work here.”
A little giggle escapes her and it’s the sweetest fucking sound. “Right. Yeah.”
Grinning, I tell her as I make my way to the door, “Love you, beautiful girl.”
Chapter 23
~Ax~
I push open the door that connects the house to my garage and lead Rox along, holding her hand tightly. “As you know, it’s a long ride to the clubhouse from here. I know you ain’t feeling your best, so if you gotta stop, just give me the signal, yeah?”
She looks up at me and
asks, “Signal?”
“Yeah. You know? This?” I say, making the gesture.
She frowns, confused. “What is that?”
“The signal to pull over.”
She starts laughing then. “Neil, that’s some sort of club code.”
“Is it?”
She lets go of my hand and walks over to her Triumph parked beside my Harley. “Yeah,” she says over her shoulder. “A regular lay person won’t get that. I guess you think it’s normal or something, because you’ve spent your entire life in a club.”
“Yeah. I have, Rox.”
My words come out with more of an edge to ‘em than I meant to give.
She stills for a second, then turns to me. “That wasn’t an insult.”
I shrug and swing my leg over my bike, settling myself on the saddle. “You still feel the same way ‘bout Thorns that you did when we first met?”
“Why are you asking me?”
“Just wanna know.”
“No.”
What? “No?”
Her eyes lock with mine. “No. It’s different now without Trigger around.”
“Yeah?”
She nods. “Kind of like…a family? They treat me differently now, like a sister, or something.” She thinks for a moment and then adds, “But that’s probably on your orders, right?”
“Nah, babe. I told ‘em not to lay a hand on you, or I’d fucking put ‘em down. The rest? That’s all on the boys. Nothing to do with no orders of mine.”
She grins. “Really?”
“Yeah.”
Huh. She likes the boys treating her like family then? Looks like Runner might’ve actually called it. Maybe I could bring her into the club? Stay as a part of it still? Fuck me. Never thought this would be a possibility. Not with the way she was with the club when Trig was running shit. Hell, back then I wanted out, too—not just cuz she hated it. Then when I became Prez, I just ran with it, knowing she hated the club and wanting to get out was all ‘bout me wanting to have her.
“Rox, does this mean—?”
The sudden screech of tires burning rubber outside shuts me the hell up.
Fuck.
“Who is that?” Rox asks. “One of the boys? Smiter? Runner?”
