Chapter Twenty-Nine
Laz
“Tanzy!” I dart from the adjoining room where I’ve been forced to wait alone, watching the monitor in silence, until the renegade Red energy began battling me as I reached out to reestablish my bond with Tanzy.
I don’t know why the Red is trying to block me, but no one keeps me from Tanzy. I will always protect her with my life. She’s my other half and has been for yarns. Having to watch her walk away from me with Senator Titan was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do. Not that we haven’t ever been apart, but in those days it was only because she was traveling with Amet.
Since her ascension to empath, we have always been together. I’m careful to keep her near me because while she is oblivious, I see the calculated looks that other beings occasionally turn her way; the ones who clearly wonder how much power she has and whether it can be tuned to their benefit.
She never realizes how hungry others are for her power. Every time I beg her to be more cautious, she pacifies me and tells me I’m imagining it. But I still recognize the shadows behind her eyes on the rare occasions when she thinks back to her Mother and her lost childhood. Which is why I am frantic to get to her now. I don’t know what the Ash is going on here, but I will ensure that it stops, or that I am allowed to face it with her from this point on.
Oof! Just as I reach to hit the airlock which will bring me to my bondmate, I collide with an immovable force and stagger backward to find a Red guard barring my path. Who is this behemoth, and why is he blocking me? My eyes widen as I realize that he must be the Red energy that was trying to battle me for Tanzy’s vibration.
Much taller and wider than me, he’s a testament to Marzzian physiology, although I’m surprised by the old-fashioned braids. I’m no real match for a Marzzian soldier, but I’ll be ashed if I’ll allow that to keep me from her side. Eyeing him as he stands with his legs planted, and his arms crossed over his massive chest, I wonder how best to bypass him. By right, I belong by Tanzy’s side; he really has no reason to keep me from her.
“I need to see to my bondmate.” I state my case calmly, eyeing him speculatively, although I feel my sense of urgency rise. Something is off and I can’t quite put my finger on it, but I know I need to get to Tanzy now and reestablish our bond. It’s like I can feel a wedge even though I can’t logically define its source.
An irritated, and somewhat pitying, expression crosses his dark face as he punches the door release, and we both bolt into action as we see Tanzy kneeling on the floor. A pained cry squeaks from her chest, which rises and falls rapidly as her eyes glance wildly our way.
I immediately send soothing energy across her shoulders, flooding warmth down her back and into her cold hands which are now wrapped around her body, as she rocks herself gently back and forth from her position on the floor. The Red guard looks murderous as he takes in her swaying, before reaching toward her and scoping her gently into his arms as I watch in horror. I don’t like him touching her, but his gentle handling reassures me as he carries her out of the doorway and heads down the hall, her head tucked against his shoulder.
Every ion of energy in my body longs to snatch her out of his arms, but instead I march stoically beside him, silent as we travel up and down corridors until finally reaching yet another doorway. Waiting patiently, the guard simply stares at me impassively until I realize that with his arms full, he’s waiting for me to punch the door release. As the panel slides open, I’m relieved to see Tanzy’s breathing begin to normalize, and her body begins to squirm as he finally deposits her on the sleeping platform.
Glaring at one another, I’m just about to begin to ask the questions ricocheting through my brain, when at last Tanzy’s beautiful violet eyes blink open and a soft smile parts her plush lips.
“Laz, I missed you.” Her breathless voice resonates with pleasure throughout my being until a slightly sad expression clouds her eyes. Glancing uneasily at the Red guard who stands stoically at her bedside, and then back to me, my eyes chase back and forth between them as I wait for her to speak.
“Please offer Good Light to Jasper,” she says, watching me carefully, “our new bondmate.”
Laz
There are times when I find myself mesmerized by Tanzy’s eyes. It often seems like I can see the inner workings of her brain. I can watch the datastreams sort and discard information. I can tell when she’s working a problem and analyzing outcomes; not just because she has a tendency to chew on her delicate lips, trapping them with her teeth (usually on the right side). It’s not that I watch her so intently that I can hear the small hitch in her breath right before her eyes open wide in delight at an unexpected discovery. Or that I hide my intense devotion from her so that she can’t see how desperately I desire her.
I know that she realizes how important she is to me. We match our intimate energies often enough to provide each other with pleasure that it’s obvious we are well-suited. What I’ve tried to hide from her—which is not easy when you’re dealing with an empath—is how completely she has become the center of my world. And how often lately the sharp spears of jealousy have begun to stab at my heart every time another male looks at her with interest.
I know she would find it absurd to believe that I could ever doubt her devotion to me. We have always been Tanzy and Laz. Except for a few random encounters while I waited for her to mature in yarns, and when I gave her the space to explore and compare other males knowing that she would come back to me, I have never doubted that we belonged together. She was mine long before she ever realized; from the moment she entered the school and I watched her slink like a small, scared creature throughout hallways and classrooms, she was mine to protect. She may not have known it, but I always knew. Her energy called to mine in subtle ways long before we were old enough to fully understand what that meant.
Watching her grow from the sweet, withdrawn child, to the lush, exotic femme that she has become has been one of the greatest pleasures of my life. I don’t covet many things. People regard me as benign and good-natured, and I cultivate that impression because it makes life easier, but there are some things that I won’t compromise on — sharing Tanzy is one of them. It’s also ridiculously endearing how concerned she is that her perfectly pillowed curves are not something that any male would crave.
The rush of blood through my veins has me literally seeing red; no, that’s the red of the guard that hovers between us as I try to focus on the words falling from Tanzy’s beautiful lips. I can tell the moment that she registers my jealousy, the emotion so fierce and intense that for once I am unable to hide it as she shuts her eyes as if in pain. Turning toward the guard, the smirk on his lips causes the fire in my chest to deepen until I realize that something more is happening here. Yes, I am jealous, but this fiery rage is extreme.
The ramifications of Tanzy’s confession sends my mind reeling as I realize that what I am feeling is not my own. Well, honestly, it is mine because I am jealous, but the extreme red anger is being fanned by the guard before me. It’s his jealousy escalating my own as I remember the way he tried to block my energy from reaching Tanzy earlier.
Feeling my hands clench and release into fists again and again, I long for a weapon of any kind in this moment, and then groan at the revelation. I’ve never held a weapon in my life before—wanting to hold one now can only mean that I am sensing the guard’s—no, Jasper’s—feelings inside me, and it’s so much worse than I ever thought it could be. Never in a thousand centons did I ever think that Tanzy or I would bond with someone else. What the Zirc does that mean?
Small fingers clutch at my wrist and I realize that while I have been standing practically in a fugue state, Tanzy has been trying to get my attention. Righting my emotions is proving extremely challenging as I find myself wanting to hit something or someone, and I make a concerted effort to draw back my energy, giving the anger less to draw on. Zirc! This can’t be happening, the rage blossoms once more as I try to fight it back down one mor
e time. We’re going to have to be very careful from this point forward, because as I unconsciously “borrow” this energy, I could unexpectedly hurt someone that I care about.
I blink my eyes rapidly, focusing again on my breathing, before clasping Tanzy’s delicate fingers in my own, as my thumb gently strokes across her palm soothingly, over and over again. A rumble beside me has my eyes shifting to the guard, whose eyes are locked on Tanzy’s hand in mine. Smiling in satisfaction, I stare straight into his eyes as I lift Tanzy’s hand to my lips and I set a gentle kiss into her palm, my lips lingering for a moment, as I breathe deeply of her scent. Good nature be damned! I know I’m taunting him now, but if he thinks he has any claim over Tanzy, he needs to be disabused of that idea now.
A small sigh draws my attention and I’m appalled to see Tanzy blinking back tears as she struggles to sit up. Instead, I push lightly on her shoulder to try to get her to cease her struggles, while I sit gingerly next to her on the sleeping platform, drawing her into my embrace. Just breathing in her earthy, mineral scent mixed with the essence of rain and violets calms my raging soul. I relax as she sighs again and her head settles against my shoulder. One small hand holds me close, until I realize that her other hand is clutching ‘Jasper’, trying to draw him into our sphere.
My back stiffens as I feel him bend slightly to raise her hand to his lips, and feel the smile that creases her cheek still tucked against my shoulder. With one last deep intake of breath I draw back and stare into her eyes, ignoring the Marzzian behind me.
“Why don’t you start at the beginning.”
Chapter Thirty
Tanzy
Mirroring Laz’s deep breath, I launch into an abbreviated, and somewhat sanitized version of my activities since I came to the Counsilary Compound. I didn’t think it was really important for him to know that Titan repeatedly tests my energy. Just the fact that Jasper stands between us, well actually behind us, right now is enough of an issue to deal with. Especially, once I felt Laz’s jealousy.
It’s hard to remember a time when Laz and I were not together in some capacity. Consequently, it never crossed my neural paths to wonder whether there was something else out there for us. I know we each explored testing and tasting others’ energies as we became more aware, but that was an expectation for every being in our society. In a world where beings don’t reproduce, awareness becomes much more about compatibility and pleasure for all, unless you match frequency. Until that point, it is expected that you will pursue pleasure as the time and occasion occurs.
I’ve always been fascinated by reading the archives that relay all of the old stories about mating rituals on different planets. They’re not discussed much here, and while I don’t believe they have been consciously suppressed, it’s almost as if as a whole, the Counsil has discouraged beings from discussing something that can never exist here. Perhaps because it raises too many comparisons of whether those rituals are something to emulate. How many more Krysalins would find themselves disenchanted if they knew there were worlds, not too far away, in which they could bond and reproduce for life with partners through sexual energy instead of the more limited aspects of frequency? Is that something that beings would actually aspire to experience?
As someone of Libran origin, Laz’s ancestors held more closely to what we believe to be common on Earth. They often have several different mates, and have offspring with each of their mates, but they do this with only one committed or acknowledged mate a time. Although it is somewhat confusing because we’ve seen instances in our research of Earth, where they can also have offspring with several different mates in non-committed relationships at the same time. I haven’t been able to understand the circumstances that triggers that change in their normal customs.
As someone of Venusian origin, I’ve always been intrigued by the customs of my ancestors’ world where the femmes have several committed mates at the same time, and produce offspring with each of their mates. It seems to me that there must be some type of hierarchy as to how that all works, or it must get very confusing. Unfortunately, we don’t get many Venusian visitors here on Krysalis, at least not any that would invite that type of conversation. As another Venusian, and someone who travels as an ambassador off-planet, I’m sure that Titan could unravel some of that mystery for me. Somehow, just the thought of asking him those questions makes me squirm uncomfortably.
Then there are the Marzzians. They bond with one mate for life, and produce offshoots, unless one of the mated pair Unlightens prematurely. And they are not much known for sharing well with others, which brings me to my current predicament.
Feeling the swirl of jealousy engulfing me from both Jasper’s and Laz’s energy, makes me aware that we are in a potentially explosive situation. It’s understandable given Jasper’s origins, but I’ve never felt such a dark edge to Laz’s energy, and I’m not quite certain how to defuse the situation until he finally speaks.
“Would you please back down your energy? Unless you’re looking for a fight?” The caustic voice directed at Jasper shocks me. Laz is never rude, and he’s certainly never hostile, yet the animosity shining from his eyes is hard to mistake.
Oddly, Jasper seems unperturbed, in a way that surprises me, given his formerly aloof manner til now.
“Really, Indigo, you think you can best me?” There’s an edge of humor that sits oddly on him now; something is wrong with both of them, but I can’t put my finger on it.
Pulling back a bit, I gasp at the flickers of red that dance in Laz’s irises, as I lift my hand to touch his cheek. The pure possession that flashes through his features makes me uneasy, as I pull my other hand from Jasper’s to grab both of his cheeks and lock his stare with my own. Immediately, the red flickers disappear and it’s as if my friend has returned, although now I see the regret that creeps into his eyes.
Nuzzling his cheek into my hand, he murmurs, “This is truly going to be an asteroid field.”
The caustic laugh that barks from behind me has me swiveling quickly toward Jasper, realizing that his former irritating attitude has returned. The glare directed at Laz could melt a thousand diamonds, and I instinctively grab his hand to pull him back into the conversation, only to watch the flame dampen, and feel Laz stiffen.
“Zirc! What are we going to do with a Red Guard in a lab?” Laz asks abrasively.
Jasper stares him down with calm equanimity and replies blandly. “I’m going to insure that your secret projects don’t get you killed.”
Gnawing at my lip, my mind rebounds back and forth, trying to understand the shifts in tone that this conversation keeps taking, as Jasper’s hand grips my own more tightly, and Laz’s hand tightens on my shoulder.
The quick spark of understanding leaves me dumbfounded, as I finally recognize the very subtle shade of Indigo that now encircles the red of Jasper’s irises, and I gently disengage my hand once more experimentally.
A more aggressive expression enters Jasper’s eyes again, and I feel Laz sigh resignedly, as I finally realize what’s happening.
“No.” I say shaking my head in denial. “No, no, no… that’s not supposed to happen.”
I immediately jump to my feet and back away as a hurt expression crosses Laz’s face, before his natural curiosity kicks in.
“How do you know?” Laz shrugs. “It’s not like we’ve ever asked someone directly—not that there have been many who could have answered.”
Continuing in a reasonable voice, he draws on his scientific persona like a cloak, and I can see the thought process settling deep in his bones. “We only know what we’ve read. Maybe the histories are incomplete.”
A smirk settles on Jasper’s features as he stands like a boulder before us, the irony finally settling over him. “Asteroid, indeed,” he grunts.
In that moment, I can’t help the brief wish that an asteroid would just explode here and now to save us from ourselves. The thought of navigating what will undoubtedly be a painful process, learning how to interact wit
h one another, makes my head ache. One thing is for certain, neither of them can be allowed to touch me at the same time again, until we all learn how to tune our frequencies so that they stop borrowing emotions.
The only win so far, is that I don’t seem affected. Then I remember the waves of energy trying to reach and block me as they both jockeyed for my attention in the test suite, and I wince at the reminder.
“Ok, we need to establish some ground rules. What happened in the test suite can’t happen again. I am not a marble for you to covet. You can’t just jumble me around to admire the pretty colors,” I say sternly.
A wicked smile lights Jasper’s face as he says, “Oh, but I want to admire all the pretty colors.” Turning toward Laz, he glowers. “And I don’t intend to allow anyone to keep me from them.”
Without even acknowledging Jasper, Laz grabs my hand and pulls me into his arms to whisper in my ear. “I know that you couldn’t control this. And I understand that we need to fix this, but right now, I can’t be part of this.”
Pulling away, he steps back and nods at me briefly as I feel tears well in my eyes. “I’m heading back.” My small squeak of protest is silenced as he quickly holds up a hand.
“For the time being, we’re being reassigned here. I’m going back to pack up our things and retrieve Karma. They’ve assigned me a suite here in the Pavillion, and I’m told we have a lab. I’ll be back in two moonsphases.”
Turning to Jasper, he stares at him assessingly. “I don’t know you, and so far, you have given me no real reason to dislike you. But, so help me, Vishna—if you make her cry, or violate her in any way, I will hurt you. Depend upon that!”
Spectral Vibrations Page 17
