by Tee, Marian
“Is that what you’re saying, Fawn? That he loves you more than the friends he’s known for years? That he loves you more than his family?”
Fawn whispered, “No.”
“Then why do they get to stay in his life, and you don’t?”
“I d-don’t know.”
“Poor Fawn, unable to face the truth.” Meredith cupped Fawn’s chin. “But you need to face it. That’s how you become really strong, so let me give it to you straight.”
“Please—-”
“They matter to him. That’s the truth of it. His family, his friends, they’re the people that matter. So they’re the people worth fighting for to keep in his life. But you—-”
Meredith let go of Fawn’s face with an exclamation of disgust.
“Do you get it now? You’re a fucking brick around his neck he doesn’t want—-”
A cry escaped Fawn.
Meredith said in a singsong voice, “You know. YOU KNOW.”
In the courtroom, everyone watched as Meredith’s words succeeded where having almost half of her face carved had failed—-
Tears started to fall, mingling with blood, and the prince’s eyes began to burn.
Red mixed with white, and the right side of Fawn’s face turned into a ghastly shade of pink.
You know.
YOU KNOW.
Meredith’s voice echoed in the prince’s head like a jeering reminder of how he had practically said the same thing to Fawn—-
Why is nothing I do not enough? Just tell me—-
And he had told her—-
He had fucking told her—-
You know why, Fawn.
YOU ALREADY KNOW.
No, God, no.
It wasn’t goddamn like that.
He bent down, his head reeling at what Meredith’s words forced him to see.
Oh God, why did Fawn have to suffer for him to realize the truth?
He had pushed her away again and again, thinking that he had been doing it for her sake, but—-
In the video, Meredith was turning to Fawn with an insanely gentle look on her face.
“Do you see you’re suffering for nothing now? So give him up.”
But Fawn refused, and the knife went straight to the middle of her forehead.
Two slashes.
The number 5 lit up on the screen, turning blue.
“You know I’m telling you the truth. His family matters. His friends matter. But you don’t. He had fun with you, maybe he even cared for you, was fond of you, I don’t know how rich fucks like him think. But what I do know is when crunch time came, he dropped you. So I’m going to ask you one more time. Tell me where Beatrice Crichton is.”
And still Fawn whispered, “No.”
“Stupid bitch!”
A raw sound clawed past the prince’s lips when he saw Meredith slap Fawn hard just before grabbing her by the hair, pulling her head back as she furiously carved on Fawn’s chin.
Jagged lines turned into an X.
The number six lit up on the screen, turning blue.
“I don’t know if you’re keeping tabs on your own face, bitch,” Meredith snarled, “but I just need one X or one fucking circle – it doesn’t really matter, the next one will be a fucking tic tac toe, and either way, it means I get to carve a piece of your nose and I’ll have my men fuck you while you bleed to death.”
Laughter mixed with curses and obscene catcalls greeted Meredith’s statement.
“I’m going to rip into that pussy hard.”
“Her asshole’s mine.”
“Do you hear that?” Meredith demanded. “They’re excited about fucking you while—-FUCK!”
Fawn’s cry spilled out of the speakers, a sound of agony that no one in the courtroom would ever forget.
But it was her face—-
It was her face as she peed in her fear—-
The yellowish liquid dripping down her bare legs until it formed a puddle next to her feet—-
Ah God, Fawn.
I’m so damn sorry.
The prince rose clumsily to his feet, reaching for Nick’s shoulder to let his friend know he had to leave. “I’m sorry,” he said hoarsely. “I have to go.” He swung away, not waiting for an answer, not wanting to waste another moment.
He had to go to Fawn—-
The reporters in the crowd began to stand up as well, unable to resist the opportunity to take photos of the naked expression on the prince’s face.
The judge began to pound on her gavel, demanding order.
The video continued to play.
“Oh my God,” someone from the crowd screamed.
The prince was halfway to the door when a chill swept over him, like someone walking on his grave, and he knew—-
He knew.
There was something else he had to see.
He turned around slowly, and he saw Meredith kick Fawn’s shins in a fit of furious disgust.
“God, you’re so fucking gross. No one’s ever done that before.”
The video showed Fawn crashing to the floor, face down on her own pee—-
“Drink your own fucking pee, you little shit, drink that or I’ll fucking kill you right now—-”
And she had.
SHE HAD!
Oh God, no.
The prince ran towards the door.
Chaos erupted, paparazzi from the crowd of spectators running over to block his way—-
“Get the fuck out of my face,” the prince snarled.
The judge pounded her gavel hard. “Order on the court!”
A reporter shoved a wireless microphone on the prince’s face, asking, “What do you think about Fawn Cornwall drinking her pee—-”
The prince didn’t even think.
He swung his fist hard, sending the reporter crashing, and he roared, “Don’t you even fucking say her name—-”
From behind, the judge pounded her gavel again. “Reid Chalkias, you are hereby held in contempt!”
Boos and cheers rose from the crowd, the spectators divided as officers rushed in to hold him off. With a burst of strength brought by acute anguish, the prince was able to shrug them all off.
He only had one thought—-
He had to get to Fawn.
He had to get to Fawn.
He had to get to Fawn.
But more men came after him, and there was nowhere to go.
****
Real-time transmission on the screen showed officers shoving the prince down to his knees while another one managed to cuff his hands behind his back. Now secured, the prince was hauled up——
Fawn whispered, “I’ve seen enough.”
Beside her, Grant reached for the remote control and pressed the power button, shutting the TV off.
Her mother was crying, and Fawn thought numbly, I’m sorry, Mom. Throughout Dana’s life, her one thought was to provide for her daughter, and she had worked tirelessly and happily for it.
Dana didn’t deserve a disgustingly stupid daughter like her.
On the opposite side of the room, Grant’s mother was also crying, her face pressed against her husband’s chest.
They were good people, too, Fawn thought painfully. Good people who hadn’t owed her anything, and yet they had stood by her from the start.
Good people like them shouldn’t be seen with people like her.
She heard Grant talk in a low, indiscernible voice to his parents, saw them leave quietly—-
Her throat tightened.
Fawn knew she should say something.
Thank you.
I’m sorry.
But she couldn’t.
Shame had engulfed her, and it was all that she could feel and taste. Shame defined her, and she had the silliest and most terrifying fear that if she spoke, her shame would afflict them, too.
The door closed behind Grant’s parents.
A shadow fell over her.
It was Dana, and Fawn couldn’t help stiffening when she saw her mother reach f
or her—-
“No,” she choked out before she could stop herself.
Dana’s arm fell back to her side, Fawn’s mother catching back a sob. “Oh, baby.”
Self-loathing turned her shame into something more excruciating as Fawn realized how much she was hurting her mother. She said jerkily, “Sorry. I’m...sorry.”
“Why would you think you have something to be sorry for, baby?” Dana’s tone was anguished. “You were brave. The bravest girl in the world, and I’m so proud you’re my daughter.”
When Fawn didn’t speak, Dana lifted a hand, hesitated, and then she pressed her fingers ever so gently to the top of her daughter’s head, scared that the slightest touch would make her baby break.
“I love you.”
Fawn didn’t answer, but her knees slowly went up, and Dana’s heart broke at the way her baby hid her face with her arms. She wished she had something else to say, something that could take away her baby’s pain, but Dana was at a loss. What Fawn had gone through was beyond even her worst imagination, and in the end all she could do was turn to Grant, her eyes more eloquently expressing what she couldn’t speak in words.
Please help her.
And then it was just Fawn and Grant.
She heard him take a seat next to her bed, still not the same Grant he used to be, but he was getting there, and she was happy for him. As much as her heart could still beat, as much as she could remember what it was not to feel empty, she was happy for him.
Minutes passed.
Grant said haltingly, “It’s just...like...o-old days.”
Ah.
“W-won’t y-you look up?”
Fawn shook her head.
“Because you’re u-ugly?”
“No.” She waited for herself to laugh, but nothing came. She waited for herself to cry, but the tears refused to come.
She was completely empty.
Slowly, she lifted her head, turning to Grant.
Her flesh was no longer smooth, her skin nothing but a mass of scars. She was the stuff horror movies were made of, and yet Grant’s gaze didn’t swerve from hers.
“I w-was proud, you know,” she told him tonelessly. “Because I thought...it was—-”
Meredith Grayson’s words screamed into Fawn’s mind.
Do you get it now?
You’re a fucking brick around his neck he doesn’t want—-”
You know.
YOU KNOW.
Fawn screamed.
Grant whitened. “Fawn—-”
She turned to him, screaming, sobbing, “I know.”
And suddenly, it was all Fawn could say.
“I KNOW.”
“I know, I know, I know!”
And she did.
She finally did.
The prince didn’t love her.
Nurses burst into the room, the doctor following behind them, and Fawn couldn’t stop screaming.
“I knooooooooow. I know. I know. I know.”
****
Nick Christakos was the first one to visit the prince, who had been sentenced to jail overnight after being held in contempt. Upon seeing his friend, he rose to his feet immediately, asking tautly, “Did you talk to her?”
“Yes.” Nick’s voice was strained.
The prince swallowed. “And?”
“She’s had to be sedated.”
Ah. The prince slowly held on to the bars of his cell, his fingers tightening until his knuckles turned white.
“That’s not all.” Nick took a deep breath. “I just learned from Fredericka...that aside from requesting you be in court when the video played...” Regret flashed in Nick’s blue eyes. “She had another condition. She had also asked to watch a recording of the proceedings. She had wanted...to see your reaction to the video, and I’m afraid—-”
The prince said harshly, “Just spit it out, Nick.”
“She saw your reaction to what happened, and she thinks...she thinks it disgusted you, the sight of her drinking her pee—-”
Dio.
Torment surged inside of him at the thought that Fawn would believe such a thing—-
Oh God.
That he had made her feel he thought so little of her—-
“I love her,” the prince said hollowly. “I love her, Nick. More than anyone, more than the parents I used to have, more than the parents I have now—-” His breathing turned ragged. “I love her.”
Nick didn’t know what to say, and he whispered bleakly, “I’m sorry, Reid.”
“I thought I was protecting her all this time, and yet I was an idiot. I was a fucking idiot.”
Nick could only gaze at his friend, knowing that the most he could do was let Reid get all the words out.
“I didn’t even think, and goddammit, someone like Meredith Grayson had to be the one to make me see I was such a fucking idiot.” The prince’s voice faded into a raw, agonized whisper. “You all mattered to me. My parents. My friends. You all mattered. But there was a part of me that none of you were able to reach, a part that would ensure I would survive if you all died on me—-”
The prince swallowed.
“But Fawn...she was different, and I think I knew it unconsciously from the very start.”
His eyes closed.
“She reached the part of me, that last part of me no one could touch—-” The prince’s tone became savage. “And that’s why I tried so fucking hard to keep her at a distance. I pushed her so damn hard I didn’t realize I was already killing her—-”
Unable to bear the devastation on his friend’s face, Nick shook his head fiercely, gritting out, “Stop it, Chalkias.”
The prince looked at him with dull green eyes. “I love her, Nick. Go back to her, please. I’m begging you. Please make her hear you and let her know I love her. Please. I’m begging you. Please.”
“I will, Reid. You risked everything for us, so you know Jason and I would do anything for you, but—-” Nick expelled his breath in a mixture of frustration and acute remorse. “It’s just not up to me. I spoke to Bennett, and I saw her, and...it’s bad.”
Nick remembered the one glimpse he had of Fawn Cornwall’s face, the way it had been all carved up—-
He had made it to the hospital just before the doctor had been forced to sedate her, and he didn’t think he would ever forget the way she had screamed.
I know.
I know.
I know.
Almost as if she was echoing Meredith Grayson’s taunting words, affirming what the psychotic killer had manipulated her into believing—-
“What exactly are you saying?” the prince demanded unevenly, the look of defeat on Nick Christakos’ face causing fear for Fawn to skitter down his spine.
“I don’t think whatever I say can or will ever reach her, Reid. It has to be you...and only you. And if you don’t succeed – she’ll be lost to us forever.”
****
Time moved too damn slowly on the night the prince had to spend behind bars, and all he could do was sit on the floor while he punished himself with an endless cycle of images of Fawn’s suffering.
He forced himself to relive every second of it—-
Forced himself to imagine it in the most vivid way possible—-
The way Meredith Grayson’s fingers wrapped around the handle of the knife with a mixture of expertise and eagerness—-
The way the knife pierced Fawn’s tender flesh—-
The way the blade cut through the skin, its edge scarring the bone—-
And blood.
So much blood.
And all throughout it, he could only think of three damn words.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
He would carve it on his damn face, his heart, his body if that was what it took to make her realize she was right all along.
He loved her.
The prince clung to the thought as he continued to lash himself with memories of Fawn’s suffering.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
Sunlight eventually broke through the tiny barricaded window of the prince’s cell, the brightness hurting his tired, swollen eyes. The hours ticked by, and when Fredericka Spears came to secure his release, the prince only had one question in mind.
As soon as he was out of his cell, the prince asked tautly, “Have they filed a TRO against me?”
The attorney blinked at him in surprise. “Did Nick or Jason tell you?”
A ghost of a smile touched the prince’s bloodless lips. “It’s the next logical step, and I would think Bennett’s parents would be able to pull enough strings to make it happen.”
Walking down the hallway, Fredericka said reluctantly, “I’m sorry to say you’re absolutely right, Mr. Chalkias.” She bit her lip. “And in all conscience, I can’t say I completely disagree. Watching the proceedings has left Ms. Cornwall in pretty bad shape—-”
The prince shook his head, saying tonelessly, “You don’t understand, attorney. Regardless of how she feels for me now, I have to make her believe that she was...right. That I love her. Because if not...she’ll be trapped in the past forever.” He swallowed. “The way I had been all these years, and I hadn’t even known it.” An empty laugh escaped him. “And I still wouldn’t know if...if Fawn hadn’t come into my life.”
The prince started to reach for the handles of the main doors, but the older woman suddenly blocked his way.
“The media’s out there,” she warned, “and right now you’re the most hated man on the planet.”
The unemotional mask on the prince’s face didn’t crack. “I don’t give a damn. All I know is that I have to get to her.”
Oh. Fredericka said quietly, “You really love her then?”
“More than my life.” And the way the half-Greek playboy spoke, Fredericka knew he was telling the truth. She chewed on her lip harder at the realization, unable to help feeling responsible for the situation Reid Chalkias and Fawn Cornwall now found themselves in.
Fawn loved the prince, and the prince loved his fawn.
But after all that had happened, would love be enough?
If the question had been asked of the world outside the police station, the answer was an unequivocal no.
