by Elle Scott
I applied on a whim and before I knew it, I was a small fish in the large Square surrounded by over a hundred other bodies wondering what the hell we were doing there. Professor Ladlow stood tall and commanding on a small platform at the back of the room, ‘It's a secret you know? The work that we do, our job descriptions aren't even classified in working class society, because that is exactly what it is—classified. Welcome to Palladium Enterprises everyone!’ Professor Ladlow began his address and raised his arms with pride, a sporadic cry of wahoo's and whoop's broke out. The electricity in the place was unparalleled to anything I'd ever felt before; I couldn't help but be wrapped up in the hype. Ladlow let his arms drop and looked sideways at a man who seemed like a younger version of himself, Miles. He cleared his throat into the microphone, his mere presence hushing even the loudest among us, ‘Most of you here know the work we do and the new project we're about to embark on. But for those of you who are new and don’t know, let me tell you a little about what we stand for here. Twenty years ago, one of our scientists discovered an egg orb and brought it here for study. We discovered these orbs were appearing all over the world, so we created a tool to track the orbs. We began retrieving, testing, and studying the orbs. At the beginning one would appear every year or so. Over time, the time frame between appearances has significantly lessened. So much so, that we are projecting a massive amount of them to appear over the year. This is the new project: to create teams to track and recover orbs as fast as they appear. Now I reiterate, this work is classified. Once you are assigned to your teams you won't be leaving until the project and your contracts are up in one year. I implore you, new personnel, if you have any doubts about being a part of something so incredibly life changing… world changing, please leave now. You are joining an already dynamic team of leading researchers, scientists, astronomer's, and sentinels. If you feel you aren't up to the task of keeping what we do here a secret, then once I call your name, turn around, enter the elevator and never return.’ I shuffle on my feet trying to eye anyone who may be as nervous as I am. Chatter erupts as the hoard of people standing in front of him begin to whisper to each other with wide eyes.
‘It's fine, you'll be fine.’ A boy who looked no older than seventeen stood beside me and smiled.
He was about five foot eleven with dark brown short spiky hair, his black rimmed glasses sat perfectly on his freckled face. Ross.
Ladlow raised his eyebrows as if displeased by the commotion and a colleague passed him a piece of paper. ‘There will be four units all consisting of six members each. Two scientists, a navigator, a record keeper, a psychologist and an environmental specialist. Once I read out your names please gather in front of my lectern. Team A to D, stand left to right,’ he waved his hand in front of him like a flight attendant motions to the emergency exits. ‘We will give you each a map to your rooms and the whole facility. Take the next two days to acquaint yourselves and nominate a Captain for your team. OK. Team Alpha: Miles Ladlow, Elijah Wilhelm, Eleanora Ray, Vivian Dhawan, Alexander Abramson, Ross Dowd…’
I cringed, Eleanora, no one had called me that since my mother left. I stepped forward at the same time as Ross and our legs crash together with force.
‘Oh sorry,’ he said. ‘Um, was that you?’
‘Eleanora… Nora!’ I replied.
‘Follow me,’ he offered, before pushing his way through the crowd.
Even now, as accustomed as I am to where we are and what we do, I can still remember the feeling like it was only minutes ago. My heart raced so fast that my head felt light. I knew that with each slow hesitant step which I took towards the lectern the harder I'd cement the fate underneath my feet. There was no turning back. I took my place in front and to the left of the lectern with Ross. Another boy around the same height as Ross threw his hand on Ross' shoulder and shook him with joy.
‘This is Nora,’ Ross said pointing his thumb at me over his shoulder. The boy peered around Ross and his deep blue eyes widened when he spotted me.
There was no denying he was gorgeous. From his dark brown hair to his entrancing eyes, from the stubble on his prominent jawline all the way down to his sculpted shoulders. Xander. He pushed through Ross and reached his hand out to me.
‘Hi,’ he said as his mouth turned into a lopsided smirk.
Miles stepped forward away from his father and jumped on Xander's back ripping our hands apart.
‘YES!’ He declared before looking straight at me. ‘Hey!’
‘Hi,’ I smiled not knowing where to stand or who to look at. Clearly flustered.
Eli and Viv were next to introduce themselves.
‘Hi, Eli, fresh meat,’ Eli said.
‘Me too,’ Viv and I said at the same time.
After Professor Ladlow named all the teams, he continued; ‘for those of you who know and those of you who don't know, over the last twenty years, numerous orbs have been appearing all over the country. We have been studying these phenomena for all those years and now anticipate their arrival on a much more frequent basis. Which is why we're putting these teams together with you, my dear hand-picked brilliant friends! Your job is to find and retrieve these orbs that will begin appearing in multitude in two days’ time. You must do this with great stealth and care. I repeat that we are a classified section. In simple terms, no one must know what we are doing here; and it is our utmost priority that we find all orbs before any civilian.’
I swallowed hard yet I could barely taste a trickle of saliva in my mouth. In contrast my hands where clammy and perspiration began forming in all the unwanted crevices of my body. Excitement, awe, and fear rose up through me like water on the boil. And now? Now it's another day and another retrieval mission, soon followed by another dinner in a food hall—which just so happens to reside in a secret subterranean building hiding underneath the remains of an unused airfield. That's all.
TWO
Nora
The hot shower rains its temperance over me, I'm in heaven right here. I fold my arms and rest them on the tiled wall, my head follows them as the water streams over my shoulders and down my back; a soft massage that I completely need. I watch the water splash and spit on the base around my feet, little glistening beads of exhaustion are washed away one by one.
As I turn the taps off, I hear it—the unmistakable bellow of Eli’s voice accompanied with the constant pound of his fist to the door.
I peer my head around the slightly open bathroom door. Behind the door, I stand in nothing but a towel with my waterlogged long hair weighing down onto it.
‘The buffet is open. It's full of pasta and five different sauces!’ Miles beams behind Eli.
‘FIVE! Did you hear that? I wonder what the extra one is?’ Eli gasps. ‘Is it pesto? Oh, god let it be pesto!’
My stomach growls loud enough for them all to turn and look at me. ‘Give me ten seconds!’ I yell as I close the door. I throw my clothes on as fast as I can, I am starving. I can’t dry my hair quick enough, so I twist it like a sponge in front of me and stumble out to greet them.
‘You alright?’ Miles asks giving me a worried look.
I tilt my head sideways to Viv, she holds her hand up to her mouth concealing a grin.
‘What?’
‘Nice!’ Eli teases.
I look down at myself. My hair, still dripping with water soaks through my white top, which I've also put on backwards, and my white and purple polka dot bra is completely visible underneath. I cross my arms against my chest and scowl at Eli. Miles backhands Eli's chest and shakes his head at him. Within two seconds I’ve ripped open my drawer, grabbed the first dark top I can find, and high tailed it back into the bathroom to change.
I peel off the damp white t-shirt and replace it with a blue round collared shirt. I check my reflection in the mirror to make sure my bra is now completely unseen, it is. I uncurl my collar and take my time to rest its curved edges along my clavicle. I try to keep my eyes laser-focused on my shirt as I button it up but they flit up when I
feel a tickle on my forehead. I stare at a stray drop of water as it traces its way along my hairline, in front of my ear all the way down to my chin. I catch it with the back of my hand. And then, before I have the chance to stop myself I look at my own face. My deceivingly innocent green eyes stare back at me and my breath hitches. They look like hers. My nose, straight with the smallest ski jump at the end. Just like hers. My chin, rounded and pointy at the same time. Hers. My lips curl up in disgust. Just like hers did—do, if she’s still alive. She left me when I was seven, but I still carry her around with me everywhere I go.
‘Are you alright in there?’ Viv asks.
I tear my eyes away from the mirror and finish buttoning my shirt.
When I leave the bathroom, the boys have gone, I look at Viv and sigh.
‘Funniest thing ever!’ she chortles.
‘For everyone but me!’ I scoff with a smile.
Her laugh makes me forget the embarrassment and the disgust, I can’t stay mad when she laughs. It’s so contagious, high pitched but not annoying, like a smooth staccato piano trill.
I sit down to tie my shoe laces when another knock on the door startles me. Viv reaches for the door to open it but at the last second bends down and collects a piece of paper from the ground. She hands it to me, for the obvious reason that it has my name on it. I unfold the paper.
Tarmac tonight? After dinner? Just you and me. X.
‘Listen, Nora. Can we skip the Rec Hall tonight? Just the two of us hang out?’ Viv says at the same time I squeal. ‘He wants to meet up again!’
‘Xander?’ She asks as I run back into the bathroom.
I rest my fingertips around the porcelain curves of the sink and take a moment to breathe. I can’t believe this is happening, Xander and me. I can forget our missions, forget Viv’s changing temperament; and just be, with him.
‘Yes!’ I’m still squealing as I glance at her through the mirror. It was night and day. Her seriousness, my excitement. You’d think she’d be at least semi excited for me, she knows how much I like him.
She leans up against the bathroom door frame fiddling with the ends of her hair, and sighs, ‘I’ll hang out with Eli then.’
‘Okay, cool!’ I say as I take a wide toothed comb and ease it through my hair. I twist the sides back and clip them together. I don’t look in the mirror but I know it looks much better than earlier.
~~~
I line up beside Xander in the food hall to receive our night time dose of nutrient slop, otherwise known as dinner. Our bodies keep haplessly yet playfully bumping into each other as we move along the buffet line. In unison, we sit down next to each other, the back of our hands graze as we rest our trays down. I reach for my knife and I glance at him sideways while I glide the backs of my fingers through his. As we eat our dinner and sip our water, the nerves and anticipation drive me insane, I can almost imagine what his lips would taste like.
For the last couple of months, every week we have laid on the tarmac out under the clear night sky and just be. Sometimes we’ve shared memories; Xander talking about his vivacious sister Kate or me talking about my wise dad. Sometimes we ramble about random theories or make up stories together. Sometimes we just sit there in silence. The last time, we laid there with my head resting complacently on his chest; every now and then he would stroke my hair with affection. We didn't have to say anything, I felt so validated with him.
After dinner, we stroll up to the airport silently and find our familiar spot on the tarmac. Xander stretches his legs out in front of him and leans back on his elbows. I sit beside him and look up. I'm nervous, more nervous than I've ever been with him. My heart is telling me to let him in, to be swept away by him; and my head is telling me to take it slow and keep my distance.
The sun has just set. The last splash of colour on the horizon leads up to the dark and clear atmosphere. The stars have started to congregate around the crescent moon and spread across the vast nothingness.
‘It's like the moon is a piece of bread and the stars are the ducks all scheming up a foray to get to it first,’ I say on a whim, avoiding anything too serious.
Xander laughs. ‘Yes, the moon has no chance really.’
‘It's the ducks defeat though,’ I continue. ‘They are stuck and can't move. It's like being so close but not quite being able to touch it.’
‘Like almost tasting it, without it being in your mouth?’
‘Exactly! Almost doesn't count.’ I look at him, then in a few beats look back to the sky. My mind locks my heart in an arm wrestle, this is stupid Nora, don’t get involved.
I change the subject, ‘It's so funny how connected to the universe I feel when I look up at the sky, like I am a small part of something intrinsically incredible.’
‘Do you believe there's life out there?’ Xander asks.
‘Well we know Ross would say we'd be simple to think there isn't. I want to believe it but where's the evidence you know?’ I answer.
‘Don't you think we are working with the evidence?’ he laughs.
I pause for a moment before releasing a massive grin, ‘Ha! It also makes me feel ridiculously small. Like how dare I get so upset about the little things you know? There is so much more in this world that we should be focused on.’
Out of the corner of my vision, I see him smiling at me. I try to move my face elegantly towards him, leaving my chin to settle on my shoulder. I'm self-conscious, I haven't cleaned up properly but know that I must look a sight better than I did earlier today.
‘You're beautiful,’ he blurts.
‘What?’ I almost whisper.
His sigh is so loud I swear everyone below us can feel the vacuum of air release from his lungs, ‘You're right you know? Little things don't matter. My insecurities, my denials—I know they are useless to me. They serve no purpose but to hold me back, they keep me from telling the one I'm falling for, that I'm… well, falling for her.’
He's falling for me? He is talking about me, right? I turn to face him with my legs bent upwards, allowing my thigh to rest against the side of his torso.
‘What are you afraid of?’ I ask. Normally reserved and guarded, I feel stripped back beyond my control, like the layers of protection I've built over the years had begun to crumble down.
‘Trusting people,’ he says.
I breathe in, me too, me too. I stay silent though, not daring to break our locked gaze. This is about him, so I wait for elaboration.
‘My ex-girlfriend cheated on me with my best friend,’ he says. ‘So now, I find it hard to trust. It turns out she only ever wanted him and used me to get closer to him. Meanwhile, I'm like the idiot puppy dog fool wrapped around her little finger. I thought I was in-love. I had no clue they were having an affair. After that I've been the one to break hearts, I kind of scare myself. If I hurt them first, they can't hurt me at all. It's stupid logic, but… you're different, you make me want to be different.’
I move closer. Hoping my mere presence will act like a safety net for him, that my energy and care can protect him like an invisible force field. I kind of always sensed that he was, you know, a player, but I've never been scared of him, I’ve always been able to see past the facade. The mask he displays in public is full of charm and arrogance. But who he is in private, with me, is a boy in desperate need of love. And I relate to that so very much.
‘You want to know what I'm most afraid of?’ I offer.
He nods.
‘Turning into my mother,’ I break our gaze, looking down at my fragile hands using each of them as a stress ball.
Xander shifts in his spot, he lifts his elbows from the harsh gravelled tarmac and stretches up. And now his face is directly in front of mine. His breathing accelerates as he locks his eyes onto mine again.
‘From what you've told me about your mother, you are nothing like her! The way you treat people is a direct reflection of who you are—and you treat people with respect, with love, with care—that is the opposite to your mother. You wo
uld never hurt someone just because you decided to do something for yourself and screw over everyone in the way. You would never just up and leave like she did. You would never do that.’
He grabs my nervous hands and curls them up into his, they are strong, dry, hard working.
‘Do you trust me?’ I'm barely audible.
He runs his hands down each side of my face and holds my jaw with care, his thin lips open and I gasp. I let my fingers cup the nape of his neck and I pull him in closer.
And then we kiss for the first time.
~~~
If I had the choice to stay in his arms under this sky forever I would. I imagine us joining hands and floating up into the heavens and melting into the sea of stars. This must be what love is. I wonder if my mother ever felt this way about my dad. Did she crave his presence, his smile, his embrace? If she did, it didn't last. She must have never felt this way about him.
‘Earth to Nora?’ Xander's hand waves in front of my face.
I blink and turn to look at him.
‘You always do that!’ I can't tell if he's annoyed or not. ‘You're always off in your own dream world!’ He smiles.
‘We should probably go inside,’ I squeeze his upper arm, which has only become bigger since we first met.
We head down the elevator to the second floor. The elevator doors open and to our left the Rec Hall's double swinging doors struggle to keep in the noise it contains.
We stand here together in the hallway for a while, he traces his finger down my arm to hold my hand. He pulls me away from the Rec Hall and we turn to face the Containment Room. A wall of glass showcases the room inside about five metres squared.
On the two side walls, the egg and static orbs are on display behind glass cabinets, like trophies. A vault hides behind the portal orbs in the centre wall, it holds the rest of the orbs inside. I press my forehead against the window wall and stare at the orbs in the cabinets.
