by Elle Scott
He holds my head in his hands and whispers, ‘hi you!’
I've never seen him cry before and in a bitter-sweet way, it makes me feel good. Cared for. Loved. He pulls me close to him again and kisses my head over and over. I dare not let him go, it's been too long. Too long for him and way too long for me. He's missed years of my life, years where for me, he was the only person I needed.
‘I'm sorry to interrupt,’ Viv says. ‘But do you have the tablet Kate?’
I drag myself away from Xander and look at the tablet in my hands. So this is it? All my hard work, realised. Ever since meeting Viv, I've been so focused on bringing justice down on the people who killed my parents and stole Xander from me. I did it. But why now, looking at the piece of metal in my hands, do I still feel so empty?
I pass the tablet to Viv. She clutches my shoulder and squeezes. ‘It's so nice to have you back,’ she smiles, then leaves.
I take a big breath in and let out a loud sigh. In a weird way, it's nice to be back here. It's a freaking cave bunker, but I guess it’s home now.
Xander rests his hand on my head. ‘How are you?’
I reach up and clean his face from tears, ‘I'm good… now you're here!’
‘You're so big.’ He shakes his head as new tears form in the corners of his eyes.
I feel my chin quiver.
‘What now?’ I ask swallowing the urge to cry. I've gotten pretty good at keeping my emotions at bay, making sure I'm completely present with my mind only on the mission. I'm desperately searching for a new one, because when I have nothing to do the memories take over, those soul tearing, heart wrenching, life changing memories.
‘Kate. The only thing I care about right now, is making sure you are safe. And…’ he cuts himself off as his eyes glaze over.
‘And? What else?’
He shakes his head and the corners of his mouth tilt upwards, that smile. ‘Not what… Who!’
‘Who else?’ I ask smiling. It's a proper smile too, like I've come home after being away far too long.
‘Xander?’ Viv interrupts still holding the tablet under her arm. ‘Come with me!’
With our hands interlocked, we follow Viv. I almost feel twelve again, safe in the presence of my big brother. Viv leads us to the left, to the hallway I've never been allowed to go. I look behind me and to the left and to the right, as if someone will come up to grab me and go mad at me for being somewhere prohibited.
Xander tugs on my arm. ‘It's okay,’ he mouths. And just like that, a sigh that has been built up inside me for years expels out of my body.
As we walk down the walkway, I see rooms dug out on either side—like every other walkway, these rooms are bedrooms. I was hoping for something more exciting down here. I assume they are the bedrooms of the leaders. We stop at the third room.
Viv turns to me and points to the right. ‘This is my room. You can stay here while I take Xander. We won't be long.’
Viv has barely finished her sentence when Xander speaks up, ‘No.’ His fingers press down on my hand. ‘Where I go, she goes. Always.’
Viv stands there for a moment in consideration before replying, ‘Fine,’ she turns and continues walking.
I glance at Xander and he nods at me. He doesn't smile but his eyes show me the same glint they used to when he'd let me do something in secret—something Mum and Dad had previously said no to, like the time he let me watch an M rated movie when I was only nine.
At about the fifth bedroom we stop again. A steel door. Viv taps on the door in a pattern that I don't think to memorise. It is opened by Frank, Professor Nichols’ right hand man. He holds the door open as he looks at each of us with squinted eyes. I’m glad Xander still holds my hand because I would have probably run back to the Zen Garden by now. Frank is not just big, he’s scary big. No hair, square jaw, mean stare… scary big.
‘They are fine. They're with me.’
Frank raises his eyebrows.
‘Go get David,’ she huffs.
He drops his hand and allows us to pass through the door. We enter another hallway about the length of the one we just walked. But something is different this time. Instead of bare unkempt holes leading into the small rooms, thick steel bars with no entrance covers each of the openings. A jail? As we walk past I try to see if there is anyone inside them, it's hard to tell from the shadows that take up most of the space but they look empty.
At the end, another steel door. This time it is slightly ajar and Viv pushes it open to reveal the allusive cavern.
The room is filled with tables made of scrap metal, each piled with different things. A few orbs on one, books and paper charts on another, laptops and computers on another. At the back of the room a static orb is contained in a glass box with wires and tubes coming out of it, they run around the room connecting to light bulbs and power points. Next to the orb is a turbine type fan attached to an old computer, I assume this is where the electricity is conducted. To the right of us, another passage leads off somewhere, this is where Nichols appears from. He is followed by someone I have never met before.
‘VIV!’ Nichols booms, racing to her. No sooner has he tapped her back with his hands when he pulls away and looks at the tablet like a hungry baby looks at his bottle of milk.
‘What is he doing here?’ Viv whispers about the boy behind Nichols.
‘Is that?’ Nichols looks at her with his eager eyes, ignoring her question.
‘Um, yes. Sure is!’ She is proud as she hands the tablet over.
‘Great!’ He croons with delight as he clutches the tablet, his eyes wide and manic.
My heart starts racing, and I have a random thought. Have I done the right thing after all?
Xander clears his throat, ‘Professor Nichols? Do you remember me?’
Professor Nichols looks up annoyed by the distraction, it takes a second but his annoyance is soon replaced by a forged smile.
‘Alexander, right? Yes of course,’ he turns his face to me. ‘Kate!’
Expecting to be scolded for being where I wasn't allowed, I lower my eyes to his feet.
‘Thank you so much for this! Your service to this cause, has not gone unnoticed!’
I look up to be greeted by a beaming crooked toothed smile. He reaches over, squeezes my shoulder, spins around and scurries off past Viv, down the passage from where he entered not a minute earlier. I can see why Viv strives to please him now. His praise is encouraging yet not quite fulfilling, it leaves you wanting more.
My eyes turn to Viv, who is in a deep and serious conversation with the boy who came in the room with Professor Nichols. They talk like they know each other well. She looks angry and upset.
‘Oh my god!’ Xander pulls me towards the table with the orbs on it. Two people are sitting down. A male with his back to us, hunched over some weird contraption thing as he fiddles with dials and knobs; one of his fingers has a Band-Aid that’s half fallen off on it. It almost looks like a computer screen but there are no words on it, only graphs and lines that I don't understand. A pretty girl with short blonde hair writes beside him, copying what sprawls across the computer screen.
‘Ross?’ Xander says.
‘Yeah?’ The man replies without looking up.
‘Ross? It's me!’
Ross straightens his back and looks our way. As soon as he notices Xander he jumps from his stool and they embrace.
‘Oh my god, they said you were coming. How the hell are you? Holy shit hey?’ Ross splatters.
‘How long have you been here? Viv never said. You look exactly the same!’
‘I arrived this morning, so, not long! They put me to work straight away. I have to say, I'm loving doing this again. For the right company this time! And, thanks, good genes.’ he laughs nervously.
‘What have they got you doing?’ Xander asks.
‘I'm, umm, designing orbs.’
‘Designing?’
‘Yeah, I mean, they are the same orbs but I'm reverse engineering them, altering t
hem if I can.’ Ross shrugs.
‘So,’ Viv joins us, leaving the boy mid-conversation. He twists his tongue around his open mouth as he shakes his head. ‘We only have a handful of each orb, so Dav… Professor Nichols hired Ross to reverse engineer them to make them ourselves.’
‘You can do that?’ Xander asks as I dart my eyes over to the boy again. He’s cute.
At least I think he is, I haven’t seen anyone close to my age in a few years though. His skin is perfect, like caramel sauce, and his jaw is well defined, like Michelangelo himself chiselled it. Okay, I haven’t seen another teenager in a while but I KNOW he’s cute.
He stares at the back of Viv's head, almost as if he was trying to dart laser beams with his eyes. I smile to myself, he's even cute when he's angry.
‘I think so,’ Ross replies. ‘It's a matter of having the equipment really.’
‘I thought you said Professor Nichols wants to destroy the orbs because he didn't want Ladlow selling them to the government? Why would you want to make more?’ Xander asks.
‘Well, yes. But here the technology can be used for good not as weapons,’ Viv stammers, unaware of the abandoned anguish still simmering behind her. I'm aware though, as the conversation bounds around me I'm starkly aware of this intriguing boy’s presence.
Xander shrugs, ‘I never saw weapons, in fact all I saw was advanced technology.’
‘You've not been here for five years Xander, no offence but you don't have much authority on the matter!’ Viv snaps.
‘Viv?’ The boy finally speaks but Viv only slow blinks and glares back at Xander.
‘Why hasn't he, in those long five years sold them as weapons already then?’ Xander snaps back.
I bring my attention back to Xander and wince. What's going on here? Viv is one of the good guys, why is he being so accusing?
‘We don't know why, maybe it's taken this long to develop more precise and destructive orbs. All we know is that they are going to sell them. And soon. They need to be stopped!’ Viv crosses her arms.
‘Viv?’ The boy speaks a little louder but this time instead of being annoyed, he looks afraid.
‘Not now Adam,’ she shouts so loud her words echo around the room.
‘Viv? I think, you can take these two out of here now!’ Frank growls. I was so intrigued by Viv's sudden aggressive and defensive behaviour that I didn't hear him creep up behind us. I jolt from the fright.
‘Wait, Ross, can I talk to you for a second?’ Xander urges.
‘Now!’ Frank insists glaring at me with his piercing eyes.
I tug on Xander's hand, ‘Xander let's go!’
I want to get away from Frank, and to be honest I want to get away from Viv. Xander looks across to me, in a single second he nods in resolve. He looks to Frank and puts his free hand up in surrender. ‘We're going!’
Viv is already out the door. As we start towards the door ourselves, I look across Xander to Adam. He smiles at me, as if to say sorry. He looks kind and I wonder why Viv was so rude to him.
We walk past the barred rooms and I hear the steel door thump shut behind us, followed by a clunking lock sound. Ross walks behind us and startles from the noise. I begin to wonder if we all know what we are really doing here.
THIRTY-ONE
Kate
We sit at tables made of scrap metal and steel, the coldness of the chair sends goose bumps through my legs. I rest my elbows on the table, mindful not to scrape myself on the sharp, neglected edges. Xander and Ross are opposite me, Ross sits sideways to face Xander and bumps his forearm on the edge of the table. I wince.
‘Dammit!’ Ross mutters clutching his arm.
‘I've done that before!’ I smile.
‘Do I need a tetanus shot?’ He asks worried. He doesn't really fit in here, a crusade full of passionate and determined people. He looks more suited to a proper laboratory—like the ones at Palladium.
The tables aren't the only things lacking here—the food is tasteless and chewy. The beds hard and blankets itchy. It's either too cold or too hot. That's the life of the virtuous though, right? You need to reject money to be able to live the simple life with your mind clear for honest purpose and direction. Still, I was spoilt at Palladium. I lived there longer than here—Viv called me a “sleeper,” just like her. Miles was all too willing to allow me to stay and wait for my brother. I was the last person he was expecting to waltz in and destroy the foundation of all that is evil in his company.
I must be staring because Xander and Ross are waving their hands in front of my face.
‘Wha? Sorry?’ I say, bashful.
‘Do you want to lay down?’ Xander asks.
‘I'm more hungry than tired,’ I stand up. ‘Want anything?’
Xander and Ross both look at the uncovered dishes on the food table, they screw their noses up in unison.
‘No, I'm fine!’ Xander rushes.
Ross shakes his head.
I laugh, neither of them belong here. I don't belong here. You see people here who care, they really care, like Viv. Their cause is the only thing that matters to them, it's all or nothing. Me? I only want revenge for my parents, I only want revenge for the loss of Xander. I'm not noble enough to have the right to fight.
I grab two dry pieces of bread and lather them in raspberry jam.
I return to find Ross and Xander whispering. I wouldn't know Xander noticed my return if he wasn't tapping my foot with his. I fill my mouth with stale bread crusts and look around the room, pretending I’m not eavesdropping.
‘I don't care about this place. I mean you were at Palladium when Nichols left, something weird happened there. He’s not exactly leadership material.’
‘He gave us our big break though, trusted us. Now he trusts me. What about loyalty?’
‘Shouldn’t we be loyal to Palladium? Man I don’t even care about Palladium. The only thing I care about is Kate, Nora, us, our team.’
‘Miles?’ Ross is apprehensive with his question.
Xander shrugs. ‘No. Maybe. I don't know… so what we are talking about altering a portal orb to transport to a person you think of instead of a place, do you think it's possible?’
‘Xander, from my studies, absolutely anything is possible. I mean, with the portal orb you think of a spot you've been and you transport to it. You literally disappear and reappear. Why wouldn't it work to think of a person and go to them? Beam me up Scottie.’ Ross does his nervous laugh again. ‘No, yeah. Let's try it.’
I want to ask what it is they are planning but I'm worried it's none of my business.
Ross scrapes his chair backwards and lifts his sleeve to inspect the damage on his arm. It's a scratch, only a few spots of blood. He pushes his hands down on his knees, pauses to look at Xander, then stands up determined. Maybe he does belong here. I watch him walk into the Zen Garden passage, two burly men almost topple him over as they rush through. I chuckle to myself, then again, maybe he doesn't.
‘He's a good guy, what can you do?’ Xander laughs.
I want to acknowledge Xander but I can't take my eyes of the two men who have entered the room. One of them looks so familiar; wide shoulders, dirty blond hair, acute square jawline, long strides with meaning. I wasn't here long enough before, I kept to myself, I grieved alone. Obviously, I've seen him here before, that has to be it.
I bow my head and continue eating my sandwich.
‘I… I want to apologise.’
I open my eyes to see Viv sit down next to Xander.
‘Who are they?’ I interrupt, pointing towards the men.
‘Oh just some muscle I think, after… the incident at the Corridor, Nichols decided to hire them for protection. I've not had much to do with that side of the Uprising, it's kind of hard to get close to people after what happened. In fact, there's only a handful of people I truly still care for.’
She looks at Xander with sad eyes and he takes no time to wrap his arms around her. ‘I keep thinking I'm the only one who has lost people Vi
v. I've been so selfish!’
I shove the rest of the sandwich in my mouth and continue watching the “muscle man.” I would have remembered seeing him before though. I only met a handful of people while I was here. He stands together with a few other brawny men chatting and laughing. I notice his arm, dark circles tattooed from shoulder to wrist. A friend taps him on the shoulder and points my way, he turns and looks, his deep set eyes stare straight through me. With a finger’s motion he swipes his mouth, zipped shut. My heart gallops into my throat and forces a gasp out of my mouth. His name is Miguel and I've been fooled.
‘Xander, we have to leave!’ I plead.
‘Well, that's what I've asked Ross to work on. We'll leave as soon as we are able!’ He says the wrong words. He can't see the pain in my eyes.
He looks at Viv, ‘I hope you're coming with us to find Nora?’
She immediately stands up and drags Xander a few metres away. She shifts from foot to foot, uncomfortable by the question. I can't hear her words but I can see she's struggling to find a decent answer. And suddenly I wonder where her allegiance has been all along? I want to scream at her, ask her if she knows it was her people who killed my parents.
DID YOU KNOW VIV? DO YOU KNOW?
THIRTY-TWO
Nora
I dig my feet into the dried leaves that once graced the trees towering above me. I did this.
I pick a leaf up and feel the crunch in my fist as they wither away into small speckles of nothing. I did this.
I look up at the bountiful expanded lushness that reaches further than it ever had before. I did that.
It's a lot to consider but at the same time, I'm content. I feel at one with this new scenario I find myself in. A scenario I would never have believed I'd be in. Yet here I am.
I look at my watch, it's nearly six. After lunch, I left Miles at the cabin. I've been out here for almost the whole day practising, wallowing, experimenting, flirting.
I grasp the orb and in an instant, I'm standing on the beach in front of the path to the cabin. Just a few more minutes to myself.
