His mind was like a stereogram, the multi-dimensional graphics containing hidden pictures that you couldn’t force yourself to see. You had to relax your eyes, and only then would it reveal itself and once you saw it, you couldn’t unsee it. That was how it had always been for him with computers, with codes, with networks, he just saw the patterns and their interruptions and it was so clear to him he couldn’t not see them. It had always surprised him that other people couldn’t. Now…he was one of those people that couldn’t see it.
He stood and paced. It was a good thing that his office floors were hardwood because if they’d been carpet he would have worn a path in it with the amount of times he’d walked this same route over the past seventy-two hours.
This office had seemed so large to him when they’d moved in, but now it seemed tiny. The walls felt like they were closing in on him. It was claustrophobic. He knew it wasn’t the building because the town felt the same way. Harper’s Crossing had always been a small town, but now it felt suffocating. It was like he couldn’t breathe.
He needed to get out of here. Out of this office. Out of this building. Out of this town.
In the two years he’d worked for Seth he’d never requested a field or desk assignment. He took whatever he was given. The reason he was such a valuable asset to Elite Security was his unique skillset which qualified him for both bodyguard and tech assignments. He liked the variety. Physical versus mental. He enjoyed keeping all of his skills sharp and this job allowed him to do just that.
But right now, he needed to be in the field and the longer the assignment, the more remote the area, the better. If he could be thousands of miles away with little to no communication with the outside world for months, that would be ideal. It was the only chance he had at clearing his head so he could get back to his life. His work. His power save mode.
He sat back down and began to draft an email to Seth letting him know that he wanted to take the next job that got him away from his computer, and away from Harper’s Crossing. He’d only gotten the first sentence typed when a knock sounded in the small space, breaking up the monotonous silence.
Before he’d even turned his head in its direction, his office door flew open and Eliza stormed in, looking flushed. It slammed behind her but she didn’t flinch as she strode into the room, every movement purposeful. She was still wearing her lab coat, her hair was pulled off her face and her emerald eyes looked even more vibrant because they were red and puffy. When she had reached the other side of his desk she opened her mouth to speak and nothing came out.
He waited. Not able to move or speak, his hands still hovering over the keys of his laptop.
It was clear by her demeanor and the dramatic entrance that she had something to say. But since this was Eliza, he had no idea what that could possibly be. His pulse raced and every cell in his body was screaming for him to stand up and take her in his arms. To kiss away whatever was bothering her until all she felt was his love.
“Ellie, is everything okay?”
She nodded, but still didn’t say anything. She didn’t look okay. She looked miserable.
Her eyes dropped to the floor in front of him and her thumb began running over the pads of her fingers.
Standing, he rephrased in a stronger tone. “Ellie, what’s wrong?”
Her gaze stayed down for a long moment before finally rising again to meet his eyes. She inhaled deeply, her lips pursed together. When they parted she finally started speaking. And once the flow of words began, it didn’t stop. It was like a faucet that she couldn’t turn off.
“Look…I just…I needed to come talk to you. We need to talk. I had all this stuff that I was going to say, and it was good. But then I saw you, and my brain just…all I could think about was how good you look…it doesn’t matter,” she waved her hand. “The point is, we need to talk. If what happened between us the other day…or days or nights…whatever, if us having sex didn’t mean the same thing to you that it did to me, that’s fine. I mean, it’s not fine. It sucks. But I can deal with it. I can deal with anything…if I just know what it is that I’m dealing with. I just have to…know.
“I can’t go on guessing and wishing and hoping and being miserable. I’m even making Farmer miserable and he doesn’t deserve that. He deserves to be happy. I deserve to be happy. And I will be. No matter what, I will be happy. Sure, I’d be happier, faster if you know…if this wasn’t…or was….whatever this is. But, I will be happy no matter what.”
She spoke so fast Nate felt like he had to be a speed listener to keep up with her.
“So, it’s fine. Whatever it is, is fine. My body and heart were right. Que sera, sera, whatever will be will be. I just have to know what it is and then I can be fine with what will be. Maybe you know what it is, but I don’t. I don’t have any idea what you’re thinking.
“I thought I did. After the coat closet and then in your room, I thought I did. But then you left and I saw Bailey and then I thought I knew again. But then I came home and I realized all I’m doing is assuming. I don’t know anything. And you know what happens when you assume things, you make an ass out of you and me. Which, might be the case. You might be an ass. But that’s all supposition. I don’t actually know.
“And then I realized that you don’t know. I’ve never told you what I feel, or what I want because—”
“I know,” Nate cut in.
“What?” she paused.
“I know what you feel.”
She tilted her head. “No you don’t.”
“Yes, I do.” He was amazed that his voice sounded as calm and steady as it did. Inside he was anything but calm and steady.
“No you don’t.” Now, instead of looking at him with confusion, she looked at him like he was a liar. And it was obvious by the fact that the volume of her voice rose with each statement she made that she didn’t like liars. “You can’t. You want to know why you can’t? Because I never told you! I never told anyone!”
“You told the Colonel.” His voice was strained, letting some of what he was feeling seep through. “I heard you.”
Her head shook, obviously confused about what he was talking about.
He cleared it up for her. “I heard you tell him that you already walked down the aisle. You didn’t plan on doing it again. The third time was not going to be the charm, because it will never happen. You were single and you would be single till death do you part. No more weddings. No more marriages. You had been there, done that. You would not be walking down any aisles with anyone, especially that Holmes boy. You said we were friends. Nothing more.”
“How did you…you were gone…you left…you left in the middle of the night. You left me.” Tears appeared in her eyes. “Why did you leave me?”
For a moment he hesitated. His first impulse was to shut down. It was his survival instinct. She’d already come close to completely destroying him, why would he let her in so that she could finish the job? But when he looked into her eyes, he knew. He knew that whatever she wanted, he would give her. If she wanted to know why he’d left, he would tell her.
“I left because I couldn’t sleep. I had a surprise I wanted you to see when we got back home. So I drove home, got it ready and drove back. When I was walking up to the castle, I heard you in the garden with the Colonel.”
“Wait…you came back?” Her voice was quiet as she covered her chest with her hands.
“I told you I would.”
“No you didn’t,” she argued.
“Yes, I did. In the note.”
“There was a note?” The tears that had been pooled in her eyes fell over her lids and just like the words that had poured from her mouth, once they started it was like a dam that had burst.
“I left it on the nightstand.” A tiny bit of hope sprung in him.
He couldn’t predict how this was going to end but he was starting to get the feeling that, once again, there’d been a misunderstanding between them and things weren’t what they seemed. He was just glad
this one wasn’t taking ten years to sort out.
“What did it say?” Her voice was small, almost as if she was scared of his answer.
“It said that I had to go take care of something, but I’d be back soon. And I left you my phone number and told you I programmed it into your phone.”
Her movements were hasty and clumsy as she pulled her phone out of the pocket of her lab coat. Her thumb swiped the screen scrolling through contacts, and he saw the moment that she saw his name, she sucked in a sharp breath.
“You did.” She nodded as more tears fell down her cheeks. “I have your phone number.”
“I know.”
She began talking a mile a minute again, her hands waving as she did. “I thought you left. I thought you left without saying anything. When I woke up, your side of the bed was cold and I just got dressed and went to my room. I didn’t even look on the nightstand. And then Aunt Wendy told me that you left in the middle of the night and I saw Bailey and I thought, if you didn’t want to be serious with her, then…” She sniffed and wiped her nose. “And Grandpa J was asking me about Neil, because he saw us dancing at the wedding. Neil was the Holmes brother I was talking about not going down the aisle with. And I only said all that stuff about getting married again because I felt so stupid that I did want to get married again. I did want to walk down the aisle with you…to marry you…to be with you till death do I part.
“I do want that. I love you. I’ve always loved you. It’s always been you, Nate. Only you.”
Chapter 24
Nate stood in front of Eliza, speechless. In less than one minute she’d made all of his dreams come true. She’d given him everything he’d always wanted. She’d given him her love.
He knew the second he touched her that he’d lose himself in her, and in the back of his mind he still had enough rational thought to realize they were at his office. Even though he was the only one there now, that didn’t mean someone couldn’t come by.
The best thing to do now would be to take her home. They could be there in under five minutes. But that was five minutes longer than he could last without touching her.
With purposeful steps he moved around his desk and crossed the room.
Behind him he heard her ask, “What are you doing?”
“Locking the door.” He turned the knob and pressed the button that rolled the privacy shades down the floor to ceiling windows that overlooked the Riverwalk.
He turned back and stalked towards her. When he reached her he threaded his fingers in her hair and tilted her head up so she was looking in his eyes. She’d told him how she felt and now it was his turn.
“I love you, Ellie. I loved you when you and Neil were together. It’s the reason I left school early. I just couldn’t see the two of you together. It was torture. I loved you when you were married to your first husband.
“I loved you when you were married to your second husband. I would check on you. Make sure you were okay even though it killed me seeing you post pictures with him. Putting status updates when you’d go on vacations or out to dinner.
“I loved you when you moved back here, and I still didn’t think I could have you. I have loved you every day since the day you walked into class on the first day of high school wearing a light blue, sleeveless turtleneck and wet hair because you overslept and didn’t have time to dry it and I will love you until the day I die. I will always love you.”
“You remember what I was wearing?”
“Yes.” He didn’t think that was the important part of what he’d just said, but it seemed to mean a lot to her.
“And you love me?”
There it was. The important part. “Yes.”
Now that they both knew how they felt about each other, he lowered his head and when their lips met it was an explosion of savage harmony. He kissed her with all the pent up love, sorrow, passion, heartbreak, happiness, and despair that he’d suppressed for over a decade and she kissed him back with equal fervor. They devoured each other in a soul-stealing kiss.
Out of desperation, they both began stripping out of their clothes as their tongues and lips stayed locked in an erotic dance. He started unbuttoning his shirt as she removed her lab coat. Needing to feel her, he stopped his progress to assist with hers. In seconds they were able to remove her pants and heels. Next came her shirt, bra and panties.
His hands, currently roaming up and down her body, knew that they’d successfully completed the task of getting her naked, but he wanted visual confirmation. Breaking their kiss, he took a step back and let his eyes drink in every curve, every dip, every freckle, every inch of her incredible body.
Her skin was flush with arousal, her nipples dark red and stiff, standing out in beautiful contrast to her rosy pink flesh. Her chest and neck were already slightly red and blotched, the way she got when she was really turned on.
His hand reached out and he traced the sensitive area around her nipple, first the right and then the left. He watched as her nubs peaked beneath his attention. Her entire body trembled as he moved his hand lower, over her ribs, her torso, and stopped at the patch of hair between her legs. He listened to the shallow pants of her breathing and felt the heat of her arousal as he dipped his fingers between her legs.
When he started to lower down to his knees to worship her with his mouth, she stopped him.
“No. I want you in my mouth.” With that bold statement, she beat him to the punch and dropped to her knees in front of him.
Fuck. He was one lucky man.
Without hesitation, and without another word, she undid his jeans with facile ease and pulled out his straining erection. Taking it in her hand, she held it firmly as she licked it from base to tip, over and over again, coating it with a thick layer of saliva for lubrication. She gave it a few heart-stopping strokes with her hand before diving and completely taking his entire length into her mouth, all the way back to her throat, moving her head up and down, slowly at first and then building speed—and never, never, breaking eye contact with him.
She devoured him with her mouth hungrily. His knees locked as a groan ripped from his chest. He couldn’t tear his eyes from her bobbing head. It was the sexiest thing he’d ever seen. Her gorgeous, emerald gaze looking up at him. It was so mesmerizing he couldn’t tear his eyes away even if he wanted to.
But the longer she continued, the sensation of her sucking him ruthlessly into her hot, wet mouth was almost too much for him to take. His climax was building like a snowball in an avalanche. He tried to keep it at bay but he felt his balls tightening against him as his dick began pulsing with barely restrained release. When every cell in his body was straining to be set free, holding it all back was a real challenge.
Knowing that he had to do something or this was going to be over before it began, he pulled her up onto her feet and when she reached out to touch his shaft again, he grabbed her wrists and held them tightly in his hand.
“My turn,” he growled.
* * *
Eliza had marveled at how good it had felt to take control and have her way with Nate. But now that he was firmly back in the driver’s seat, she couldn’t believe how good that felt as well. Basically, everything with Nate felt good. She couldn’t think of one thing they had ever done together that hadn’t been next-level incredible.
With one hand still holding her wrists together, he turned and laid his laptop gently aside, moving it to the bookshelf behind the desk, and then swept all of the loose papers and pens that were left behind onto the floor with one swift movement. It was like something out of a movie. She’d never seen anyone do anything like that in real life, and she’d always thought it would be sexy and it was. It was very caveman and she freaking loved it.
Next, he grabbed a hoodie that was hanging on the back of his chair and laid it across the desk, smoothing it out to make a soft and warm place for her. Desire was blossoming in her core but warmth blossomed in her chest.
Nate.
He was so thoughtful.
Always taking care of her. Always thinking of her needs before his own. It made her a little misty.
He turned, wrapping one arm around her and laid her down oh-so-gently on the hard surface of the desk, which was cushioned only slightly by the improvised blanket. Lifting his hand that held her wrists, he pinned them above her head. The position of her arms caused her chest to lift as he stepped between her legs, spreading her knees apart as he did.
Leaning down over her, he brushed strands of hair back from her head and smiled down at her, the affection that he felt for her was a palpable energy between them, evident in everything from his eyes to his smile to his touch.
“Are you comfortable?”
“No.” She rolled her hips, seeking the relief only he could give her.
His grin grew wider as heat flared in his chocolate-brown gaze. “On the desk. Are you comfortable on the desk?”
“Yes,” she conceded.
As much as she wanted to rush him, she knew from experience good things happen to those who wait. Patience had not always been a virtue that she’d possessed but she was definitely seeing its benefits now.
He started touching her, then, and she realized very quickly that his concerns about whether or not she was comfortable on the desk were completely pointless. In less than two seconds she was so wrapped up in the experience that she would’ve been hard-pressed to answer the question of what she was lying on. Or what room she was in. Or what city. Or…anything, really. Anything that didn’t have to do with how heavenly his hands on her body felt, and how amazing the sensations he was sending through her were.
His fingers were gentle and exploratory. His touch was tender, conveying his inner emotions to her, and she savored each brush of his skin against hers like a treasure to be carried in her heart and soul until the end of time.
All He Desires – Nate & Eliza (Crossroads Book 12) Page 20
