by Sadie Savage
“Alright, yes, I am going to turn into a bear. I just need you to stand back.” He moved me back forcefully and started making horrible faces. His skin was almost swimming as it started to grow and change. I could feel myself backing up. I wanted to see the transformation, but it was horrifying to watch. Thick brown hair was covering his body. It moved up from his legs and as it moved across his sculpted abs the cut ripped open and blood shot out across the room.
“Awww!” He yelled as he broke the stretcher with a single low from his half-bear arm. I rushed to his side as he crumpled onto the ground. “Back off!” He threw me to the side as he pushed himself back to his feet. The fur had completely disappeared and his skin has stopped rippling. He was holding the flaps of skin in place as he started to pace the room. “What is going on?!”
“You have a very deep cut,” I looked down as his eyes cut. I could feel the seething hatred coming from his stare. “I have another suture kit. I can fix it,” I said to the floor.
“Alright, fine, let’s just do this,” He walked over and sat down on the next bed. I walked around the wreckage of the broken gurney. I could feel myself shaking again as I got closer to him.
“I just need you to lie down and I will hook up the IV again.” He didn’t say a thing, but I could tell he wasn’t going to let me fix the IV. “I just need to give you a painkiller.”
“I don’t need a painkiller,” He growled the words through closed teeth. I wasn’t going to argue with him, but it wasn’t helping with my nerves. I opened the kit and got ready to start stitching.
“Take a deep breath,” I said, mainly to myself. He held himself remarkably still. I heard only a few gasps as the needle passed through his skin. It seemed like I was having a harder time with it. I just kept apologizing to him and he got madder with every sorry.
The skin was already starting to heal as I closed it up. I could tell that his skin was far from that of a regular human being. I wanted to ask him about it, but he didn’t seem very talkative. The feeling of the needle pressing through the skin was oddly very exciting. I was trying to keep myself under control. As a nurse I had always been fascinated by surgery and the human body. I could feel the color rushing to my cheeks.
When I finished I looked up at his face for the first time in I don’t know how long. “Jade Roberts,” I blurted out. It was met with the same level of enthusiasm I had been receiving all day. “It’s my name, I thought you could tell me yours too,” he just turned away. “Ok, then I guess I will just call you bear-man, or man-bear,” I could tell that I was upsetting him, but at this point I didn’t care. He was being rude to the woman who just saved his life twice.
“Dallas,” his tone was begrudging at best. “Dallas Blackwood, bear-man is fine though.” He was asleep in seconds on the tiny hospital bed. It looked small when I laid in one, but his legs were literally dangling off the edge. I found another stretcher and lifted his feet onto it. The beds were at slightly different heights, but I was sure it had to be better than just letting them dangle. There was not even a thank you.
My father had been nearly as ornery when he was my patient. Most of the fight in him had been taken away by the virus. It wasn’t until he was on death’s doorstep that he even thought to say thank you for all that I had done for him. It wasn’t until after he passed that I realized exactly what I had given up. Staying behind meant that I had nobody with me at all. There was no way to stay here for more than a couple days longer. I was not exactly a fighter. I was going to have to fall in with a group of looters, or the far more likely get killed by a group of looters. If the experience of the morning had been any indication it was even dangerous for me to step outside the doors of the hospital now that I was all alone.
I had one hope of not being all alone and he was clearly not interested in being my apocalyptic plus one. It was hard to understand his aggression. He had gotten hurt trying to save me, I was sure that wasn’t part of his plan, but I had been trying to make up for it ever since. I left him to sleep for a while as I got the rest of the supplies gathered together. The hospital had been rummaged through by several groups of looters and former employees, but there were still treasures to be found.
I walked all the way up to the eighth floor to start my search. I was checking every closet, cart, and cupboard as I made my way down through the hospital. I was filling backpacks that we had found during our first week living in the hospital. They had been stuffed away in a storage room on the seventh floor. “St. Bonneville’s Hospital loves Nurses!” The message was printed in bold white letters on pink, brown, orange, and white backpacks. It was a part of an employee appreciation initiative, but the dust on the boxes made it look like they had been ordered at least ten years ago.
There had to have been thousands of them. Each group had taken several backpacks with them when they decided to leave the hospital. I had the last seven with me as I loaded them down with supplies. Of course most of the leftover bags were brown. It had been the least popular choice. I had grabbed an orange one when we first found them and then there were two white. I was packing the white ones with bandages and medical kits. The brown ones were being packed with linens and clothing, which was mostly scrubs, but I had only been wearing scrubs for months now anyway.
My orange bag was for food. The bags were a good size and they could hold quite a bit. There was still a bit of food left in the cafeteria. I had started squirreling it away when I made the decision to wait until dad died to leave. I knew that the others were not going to wait for me. Even my best friend Becky. We went through nursing school together. We got hired onto the floor at the same time. We had been through so many things together, but I knew what I was asking her to do was impossible. There was safety in numbers, but those numbers had to be higher than two.
The food was mainly pudding. I had a feeling I was turning into pudding. I had been living on a mainly pudding diet or the past month. It was mainly tapioca now. I had eaten all of the chocolate. I had granola bars saved as well, and a ton of the fruit cups that I hated. I forced myself to eat two a day, because according to the label there was real fruit inside. I was sure they were lying. Fruit didn’t taste that bad for any reason.
I had to bring the bags down one at a time they were so heavy. I wasn’t sure how I was going to take them with me. It was not as if I had a car. Even a car wouldn’t do you any good as there were no gas stations. I tried to look out the windows to see what was available, but I wasn’t even sure what to look for. There weren’t many ox carts around these days. I put all the bags onto a stretcher and went to go check on the patient.
When I got back to the treatment room the bed was empty. He had left. I sank down to my knees without saying a word. I wanted to scream and shout, but I was too tired. It was like an anger coma. I was so mad, sad, and just upset and I just shut down.
I don’t know how long I was down for, what I do know is that there was drool on my chin when I stood up again. I didn’t know what had woken me, but I stood up and went to the bathroom. The lights were out again, but the backup generator, which worked occasionally was casting a very dim light over the building. The mirror was dirty and the light was awful, but I could tell that I needed to brush my hair and find some water.
I walked out to the stretcher filled with supplies. It was time to go. There was no reason to stay any longer. My plan as I walked up to the stretcher was just to push the whole bed through the streets. The streets were very clear, and it was the best I could do until I found a better way to carry all of this stuff. A bed is never a bad idea, I told myself.
“Thanks for packing it all up for us,” it was a voice I sort of recognized. It was the fat young man from earlier in the day. I had no idea how long he had been watching me, but as he spoke I saw others moving in the shadows. “I think you should come with us. What do you say boys?” His boys all seemed to love the idea. “The boys and I haven’t seen a women in…well, too long anyway.”
“I don’t think so,” I s
aid trying to keep my voice steady. I was trying to seem confident. “I have the bear to keep me company.” I lied. I saw a flash of fear dance across the young man’s eyes.
“We watched him leave,” He smiled trying to hide his fear. “He’s long gone by now.”
“He’ll be back soon,” I was trying to look tough which must have seemed completely ridiculous. I am 5’3” and 100lbs on a good day. I don’t intimidate many people. I was trying to channel my inner gangster, but I was sure that I looked more like an angry smurf. “And he won’t take kindly to people stealing our stuff.”
“Is that so,” the deep voice seemed a little unsure of himself, but not scared enough to leave right away.
“Yeah, it is so,” the voice came from behind me. Dallas was towering over everyone in the room as he strode past me and got about an inch from the face of the much smaller man. I could see the other shadowy figures moving fast as they left the building. I think it was likely more intimidating that Dallas was still naked. His dick swayed as he walked, and because of the height difference it was fairly close to the fat man’s face as he stared him down.
“You should likely run,” I whispered to the fat man who had become paralyzed with fear. I tried to hold in the laughter as I watched him try to find his friends. I knew that we needed to get far away from this hospital. Those guys were definitely going to come back. “I thought you were gone.”
I didn’t wait to see if he approved as I buried my face in his stomach and wrapped my arms around him. I felt his arms coming across my shoulders. I was so relieved to see him. That was when I noticed that his scar had healed. “The moon,” he said before I could ask the question. I ran my fingers over the perfect skin that had been a stab wound.
“I thought you left me,” I said. It came off way more desperate than I wanted it to, but I was just so happy to see Dallas. “What do we do now?”
“I don’t think…”
“You don’t think what!” I heard myself shouting at him. He was going to try and leave without me for real and there was just no way I was letting that happen. “You see what happens every time you walk away, and now you want to leave me?” I didn’t even know what I was doing, but I just started pushing the stretcher toward the door.
“What are you doing?” He growled at me.
“I am going it alone,” I yelled without looking back. “I have no one to help me and I am leaving to take care of myself.” I was being overly dramatic, but I didn’t know what else to do. I had no idea whether it was working or not until he grabbed the door for me.
“Let me push it,” He snarled as he almost threw me out of the way. I walked along beside him trying to watch the sides of the street for signs of life. I could only see shadows. I had no idea if we were being followed, but I could tell we weren’t the only ones out here on the streets. We stuck to the middle of the roads. Dallas said it would give us more time to react if we got attacked. “There are people in every alley and building just waiting to slit your throat.”
“Or perform lifesaving surgery,” I reminded him. I was actually starting to enjoy the scowls that I was getting from Dallas, but this time I got a tiny little smile instead. I looked him right in his honey-brown eyes and gave him a wink.
“What was that?” He laughed.
“It was a wink,” I said, astonished that he would even ask. I considered myself a fairly slick winker. It was a skill that I knew a lot of people struggled with. They winked with both eyes, or they pulled a total Popeye face when they tried to wink, but I was adorable when I winked. Everybody had always told me so.
“I know it was a wink, but on the other side of your face it looked like you were having a stroke.” Dallas’s long brown hair fell over his eyes as he leaned down to give me the full effect of his mocking imitation. “Errrrr,” he mumbled as he winked at me holding his arms out like a mummy. I slapped his chest as hard as I could. He pretended to be hurt, but he couldn’t stop laughing.
“You aren’t funny,” I said, but a smile was already creeping across my lips. We laughed as we walked through the streets. I was still on the lookout for danger, but I was just enjoying having someone else around. We found a park near the edge of town and pushed the stretcher into a small circle of pine trees that would provide at least some cover for us. It was in a little residential neighborhood, and it didn’t seem like any of the houses were being occupied.
The night air started to get a bit chilly. I looked over at Dallas and I let out a little laugh. He looked at me and I threw my hands up, “It’s nothing.”
“What are you laughing about?” I tried to walk away, but Dallas picked me up and set me down on the stretcher. I had put my arms around his neck when he first grabbed me and decided to leave them there. His skin was still warm to the touch. “What is it?”
“I just noticed that the night air was making you shrink,” I laughed.
“Oh really,” his face was getting closer to mine.
“Yeah, and I was just thinking that it is kind of like a thermometer.”
“I can fix that,” he said as he kissed me deeply. I was off the stretcher as he lifted me into his arms. His strong arms wrapped around me and held me tight against his muscled chest. He was holding me up with one arm as he took off my scrubs and continued to kiss his way down my body. I felt like a doll in his strong hands. That was when I found myself upside down and staring right at his thermometer. It was no longer getting smaller.
He was driving me crazy with his tongue and teeth as I tried to deal with the amazing sensations and the blood rushing to my head. I decided to focus on pleasing him. I used my hand on the shaft and teased the head with my tongue. It felt amazing, but I was so glad when he finally put me down on the stretcher. I was up on my knees, and he was standing beside the stretcher with his hands on my waist. He was teasing me with the head as he lightly touched along the edges.
His skin was so much warmer than mine. I could feel the difference as he pushed forward and started gently moving back and forth. I rocked my hips to try and feel him deeper inside of me. I wanted to take everything in. The gentle breeze was covering my skin in goosebumps. Every inch of my skin was alive. It was the mix of cool air and hot skin and the rhythmic motion of our hips. I gripped the tiny rubber mattress and screamed with my whole body.
A large hand clapped itself over my mouth as Dallas grunted and let go deep inside of me. I turned around and kissed all over his sculpted chest and abs. He laid down on the gurney and I pulled myself together. I wrapped myself around him as we tried to share the tiny bed. I was idly running my fingers over his smooth skin.
The stars were amazingly bright. Without the light pollution I could actually see them. Dallas pointed out the constellations. “I grew up on a farm,” he explained, “There have always been this many stars.” I was sure that he was wrong. There was no way a sky had ever seemed this beautiful.
“I thought I had seen stars,” I said as I followed a shooting star along the edge of the horizon. It was too magical to be ordinary. We laid there and talked about life and the world.
“I have always wanted a family, but not a shifter family,” Dallas said. He was watching the skies, but I thought I saw a tear welling up in his eyes. “I don’t think it is right to bring a kid into a world he doesn’t belong in.” I was surprised to hear him talk like that, but I realised that I didn’t know much about him.
“How can you say that? You are the most amazing person I have ever met,” it sounded corny, but I meant it. He had already saved me twice. He could heal instantly, and he was ridiculously strong. I was amazingly hot. I was having trouble seeing the down side.
“But I am not a person,” Dallas sat up and looked me right in the eyes. “I am a monster.”
“You can’t think that,” I was crying and I didn’t know why exactly, but it hurt me that he felt like this. “You are not a monster, those guys in the hospital, those guys are monsters!” I was almost mad at him for talking about himself that way.
“Sshh, oww!” He shook the hand that I bit. He was trying to cover my mouth again. “Don’t bite me!”
“Why you’re a monster, aren’t you used to being bitten?” I said without really thinking about if it made sense. I was just mad at him for feeling this way. He was just shaking his head, and then he started to turn away. I playfully bit his nipple as he tried to turn away. I had never felt like this before. He had awoken an animal inside of me. I felt brave, and brazen, and I wanted him to feel that way too. I wanted him to know how he made me feel. Somehow that made me bite him. Maybe it was the trees, or the night air, or that he could turn into a bear, I felt wild.
“What was that for?” Dallas looked more surprised than mad.
“I am feeling monstery,” I laughed. A smile finally cracked through his sullen expression. It was a little smile, but I had worked so hard for it I counted it as an accomplishment. “For the record I would love to have kids like you,” I said as I laid back down to gaze at the sky.
“Well, I guess we will never know,” Dallas said to the sky.
We didn’t talk for a long time. I was just lying there enjoying his presence. I stretched my arms and legs and let out a yawn. “I will take the first watch,” Dallas said as he stood up. “I am about to fall asleep,” he explained as I begged him to stay beside me.
“I just need my teddy…”
“Cut that out!” His tone was playful, but I could tell that he meant it. He didn’t like the bear cracks, but that only made me want to say more of them. I watched the naked man as he moved off into the moonlight to check the perimeter.
The pine trees made pretty good cover, and I was sure that if there was anyone around they would have heard us earlier, but Dallas insisted on checking. I went to the brown backpacks and got out a bunch of hospital sheets. It was chilly, but not cold, however the linens were so thin I knew I would need about a hundred of them to be warm. I thought it would be hard to fall asleep, but that was before I stopped moving. As soon as I got comfortable I could feel sleep taking over. It had been months since I had really felt safe. Right now it didn’t matter who was out there or what was going on inside of me. I had a protector. I looked up at the sky one last time and then everything went dark.
