by Sadie Savage
“So why haven’t you gone back?” Raven wanted to know. She liked being in the woods, but she wasn’t sure if she could ever live in them.
“There are some complications,” Jordan said. Now he was the one that couldn’t meet Raven’s eyes. “Once I get everything under control…” Jordan just let his voice trail off. Raven knew she wanted to know more, but she could see the subject made Jordan uncomfortable. For the rest of the night Raven could see something was eating at him, but he wouldn’t talk about it.
“I am sure we can share the bed without sleeping head to foot.” Raven protested as Jordan got ready for bed. He was turned towards her, but he chose not to respond. Jordan closed his eyes. He could feel Raven roll over and he started breathing easier. Then she started rubbing herself against Jordan. The slow rhythmic motion was driving him crazy.
Jordan tried to hold it together. He had gotten over the virus weeks ago, but he was still getting used to the changes that it had brought on. Getting too worked up, whether it was excitement, anger, or lust, it all seemed to have the same result. When he lost control the wolf took over. He didn’t want to hurt anyone. That was why Jordan had stayed away from people. Now this beautiful young woman was lying in his bed, and Jordan wasn’t sure if he could stay human through the whole experience. He wanted to find out, but he knew that was selfish.
Jordan watched Raven’s hips as they moved. The beast was stirring in the man’s chest. He traced the curve of the hip with his fingers. Raven could feel shivers running down her spine. She let out a moan as she continued to grind against Jordan’s thighs. He sat up. Raven turned and tried to sit up. Her leg was still bothering her when she tried to move fast.
“I have to go,” Jordan said as he took off out the door. He almost didn’t make it. The wolf was busting free as he reached the door. Jordan was pretty sure Raven hadn’t seen him shift. The door was most of the way closed when it happened.
Raven hadn’t seen anything. She had laid back on the bed in a huff as soon as Jordan had walked out the door. The young woman thought that her companion was trying to be chivalrous. Or maybe he just isn’t into me? She thought to herself lying alone in the dark. Raven tossed and turned for a while before finally falling asleep.
When she woke up Raven was still alone. Her knee felt much better. The cuts on her legs had already started to heal. They were very itchy, but it was a huge improvement over how they felt the day before. Raven got out of bed and tested different amounts of pressure on her leg. It was still a little sore, but she could limp around and get to where she needed to go just fine.
Jordan came in carrying a load of wood for the fireplace. He could barely look Raven in the eye. “How are you feeling today?” It looked as though he was asking the wood.
“Much better thank you.” Raven answered coldly. She wanted to make sure Jordan knew that she was angry. Jordan didn’t respond, he just put the wood down and went outside to get more. As he walked out the door Raven noticed that his shirt was ripped along the back. She knew that it hadn’t been torn the night before. It was not a clean tear. The fabric was stretched and torn open in a couple of different places.
When Jordan came back in with another load of wood he dropped it and turned on Raven with a very serious look in his eyes. “I need you to leave,” he said taking in a deep breath as though it hurt him to say the words. Raven gasped and tried to respond, but Jordan talked over her. “It isn’t safe for you to be here,” Jordan wasn’t making eye contact. He had grabbed the back of a chair and he was staring right at the floor. “I might still be carrying the disease and…”
“I have already been left for dead,” Raven couldn’t wait any longer to have her say. “There is nowhere to hide from this virus. I am as safe here as I am anywhere else.” Raven started to walk away, but then she turned back and said, “I’m staying!”
Jordan walked back outside. He was clearly frustrated, but he knew that he couldn’t kick Raven out yet anyway. She was not well enough to walk. She needed at least another day to heal up before she could start walking again. Jordan was scared. He didn’t want to hurt her. He also knew that Raven was right. There weren’t many safe places left in the world. The virus had spread everywhere and there was no escaping it. Jordan walked down to the river and cast a few lines into the water.
He had fish nets set up down river. He checked them every four hours, but they couldn’t hold the bigger fish that swam the Tillamook. Steelhead, Sturgeon, and Coho Salmon, Jordan had caught them all from his little dock. He looked out on the water and tried not to think about the girl who had brought all of this drama into his life.
“Well, if you are going to give me the boot, you better teach me how to survive.” Raven could tell that she was bothering Jordan. She really meant it, she wanted him to teach her how to fish, but she liked that it was bothering him. “Is this how I hold it?” Raven had purposely grabbed a spare rod by the thin fiber-glass at the top. The pole nearly snapped as she waited for Jordan to correct her.
“What are you doing?” Jordan laughed as he watched the rod bounce in front of Raven’s face. “Alright, well let’s start with bait,” Jordan reached down and got a worm out of a small wooden box that he kept by the dock. Raven flipped the pole around and took the worm right out of Jordan’s hand. She had no trouble touching worms. It was the rusty hook that really grossed Raven out. She felt the little bits of oxidized metal coming off on her hand. Her fingers were a reddish brown as she pulled them away from the hook.
“Thanks,” Jordan said as Raven wiped her hand on his shirt. “Now just…” Jordan watched as Raven cast the worm out into the middle of the river. “Just cast perfectly into the water like that.” The older man smiled realizing that he had been had.
“You’re a good teacher,” Raven’s voice was laced with sarcasm as she adjusted her line and set the pole in one of Jordan’s homemade rod holders. The dock was set up so that he could have five rods on the go fishing with bait. Jordan also went fly fishing in the shallows further down river. Raven had a big smile that slowly faded as Jordan continued to stare at her. “What’s wrong?”
Jordan put his hand over Raven’s mouth and turned her around. A white tail deer had wandered very close to their camp. Jordan reached down under the dock and pulled out his lever-action Marlin 336. “Just stay quiet,” Jordan tried to move past Raven, but she took the gun from him.
“I have a better idea,” Raven whispered. “You stay quiet.” Raven looked through the scope. The deer seemed completely unaware of their presence. Raven pumped the lever and then carefully lined up her shot. She wanted to hit the deer right in the head and take it down quickly. Raven had never shot a deer before, but she wanted Jordan to see how much help she could be. She was looking for the perfect shot when she lowered the rifle.
“What’s going on?” Jordan knew that the deer was going to smell them soon or get spooked. He kept the rifle right there for a reason. You always had to ready.
“Look at his neck,” Raven said as she passed the gun over to the panicking man. Jordan grabbed the gun and looked through the scope. “It could just be a tumor, but I think the deer is infected.” It was horrifying to see how far the disease was spreading. There was literally no way to avoid it.
“Yep, the deer is a lumper.” Jordan said as he fired a shot off into the air. The startled deer took off, but he was moving so slow. He was clearly very sick. “Good catch.” Jordan said as he put the gun back. “I haven’t seen any fish with lumps yet, but I’m sure that’s next.” Jordan sighed. “I miss meat.”
“I miss my parents and living in a place where everything isn’t trying to kill you.” Raven said trying to make light of Jordan’s carnivorous lamentations.
“I know there’s a lot worse things in the world,” Jordan smiled, “I get that, but I have been eating nothing but fish for months now, and I need a break.”
“Try living on granola bars and crackers,” Raven laughed.
“I’ll stick with the fish.
”
They fished and laughed for hours on the dock. Raven even volunteered to clean the fish after they had hauled their catch into the cabin. Jordan went off to check his nets. Raven watched him disappear through the trees before she started making the gagging faces that she had been wanting to make the whole time. She had no problem with worms, but guts was a whole different story. Raven’s father had been a fisherman and this was not the first time that Raven had cleaned a fish.
“Why would I ever volunteer to do this?” Raven wondered aloud as she dug her knife into another fish belly. There were still three fish left to clean when Jordan dumped five smaller fish into the bucket. He smiled as he sat down next to Raven and ripped into a one of his new fish. “This seems like a lot of fish.” Raven said trying to keep a straight face and breathe through her mouth.
“You have to catch whatever is running,” Jordan said as he tried to dig out a small piece of fish gut with his finger nail. “If you don’t keep everything then you are in trouble when they stope biting. Raven understood, but it didn’t make things any easier.
She managed to make it through the fish cleaning without throwing up, or even making too many gagging sounds. Jordan seemed impressed. It was hard for Raven to understand what was going on. They clearly got along very well. She could feel his excitement the night before, but Jordan was definitely keeping his distance.
“So am I invited to stay for dinner?” Raven asked. She was not making things easy for Jordan. He had after all tried to kick her out earlier, but she felt like she could sense a change in his attitude. She had shown him her skills and they had been laughing and talking all day. As mad as she had been with Jordan at different points of the day, Raven could feel herself falling for the enigmatic man.
“Of course,” Jordan smiled, “You can wait until your leg feels better.” He could tell that Raven was disappointed by that statement. She walked into the kitchen and started looking for the pots and pans that she needed. Raven was not trying to further ingratiate herself to her host. She was past that. If Jordan couldn’t see how much help she would be than forget him. Raven liked to cook.
Angry cooking always made the food taste better. It was something that she had noticed over the years. Being in the on again off again whatever you want to call it with Travis and many other relationship woes, it somehow seemed to help with her skills in the kitchen. This bout of angry cooking was made even worse by the pain in her knee. Raven was still limping a bit as she walked. Most of the swelling had gone, but the knee was still a bright purple. Raven slammed a frying pan down onto the counter, it was time to cook.
The fish was delicious. Jordan had brought in what he called a “Scrounger’s salad.” It was a mix of roots and leaves that grew naturally in the area. It was horrible. Jordan had run out of salad dressing months before. The crunchy, leafy tasteless mass was loaded with vitamins and minerals, and Raven tried to keep reminding herself of that fact as she tried to swallow the bizarre salad.
“This is actually the root of a sapling,” Jordan said as he explained the different parts of the salad. It really didn’t help with the taste, but Raven wanted to learn everything she could about living off the grid. It seemed like the best idea, considering the grid was not really an option anymore.
Raven sat across the table half listening to what she really saw as the perfect man. He was strong, handsome, he knew how to live in the forest, and he was not covered in strange lumps and deformities. The worst part was that clearly they were compatible. They had just had a great day together. The only problem was that for some unknown reason Jordan wanted Raven to leave. Raven needed to know why, it was driving her crazy.
“I will clean,” Jordan said as he grabbed the plates and walked over to the sink. Raven watched as he carefully scrubbed the plates and soaked the pots and pans. It was her dad’s favorite part of doing dishes, leaving things to soak. He would always say that. Raven would come into the kitchen a few hours later and see her mother doing the dishes. It wasn’t too long before Raven started doing it to. Dishes became a game of chicken, “Who can go the longest with dirty dishes in the sink?” Her father would ask with a devilish smile on his face.
“Are you okay?” Jordan’s voice brought Raven back to reality. She could feel the tears running down her face. She had been staring into the soapy water and crying, but it felt so good. She had been so focused on the bad memories lately. Raven threw herself at Jordan and wrapped her arms around him. She didn’t care who it was, she needed a hug. To her surprise Jordan wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head. Raven could feel a real warmth in the hug.
When she finally let go Raven looked at Jordan, but he was already moving out the door. It was hard to tell because he had moved so fast, but it looked like he was crying. Raven wiped her eyes and started washing the dishes. As she washed the dishes she actually felt a closer connection to her parents. It was a disturbing trend. She was already doing all the cooking and cleaning. I better leave this cabin before I become his maid, she thought.
Jordan returned with another load of firewood. The tinder box beside the fireplace was overflowing already when he dropped the new load beside it. Raven smiled to herself. She knew that he had been crying. “I think we have enough now,” Raven smiled, but Jordan didn’t even respond he walked over to finish the dishes.
“I would have done them,” Jordan said as they argued about the true intentions behind letting the dishes soak. “I also believe in letting things air dry.” Jordan said with a little laugh. “Thank you,” the dark haired man sat down and rolled his neck back and forth. He was clearly trying to work out a kink I his neck.
Raven slid her hands onto Jordan’s shoulders and started to knead at the muscles. Likely carrying too much firewood, Raven chuckled to herself. Jordan relaxed his muscles and leaned his head back against Raven’s chest. Raven decided to stop worrying about the mixed signals. They are very comfy, Raven had C-cup breasts, and they seemed to work well as pillows. She had noticed that many men had laid their heads against her breasts over the years. Raven focused on the back rub.
“Do you need one?” Jordan asked when Raven moved away from the chair.
“I wouldn’t let you touch me with a ten foot pole,” Raven said playfully as she started walking away. Jordan leaned over backwards and grabbed the young woman’s slender waist without getting off the chair. Unfortunately, he had stretched too far backwards and the chair tipped over. They landed in a pile on the floor. They were face to face. Inches from each other, Raven wanted Jordan to make the first move.
“I could use another back rub,” Jordan said as he tried to get up off the floor. Raven pushed his hands away and used the fallen man to push herself to standing. When Jordan tried to get up the second time Raven stepped over him to walk outside.
The stars were alive in the sky. Even through the thick forest canopy Raven could see them twinkling brightly in the night sky. The moon was high in the sky as well. “Full moon,” Jordan said as he walked up beside Raven. It was an amazing sight to behold. She allowed herself to rest against Jordan’s muscular chest. She could feel washboard abs through the tight t-shirt.
Shooting stars crossed the sky. It was almost possible to forget that there was a virus out there that seemed to be eating the world from the inside out. The giant viruses that had been released from the permafrost, and spread on arctic winds were now even effecting the animal populations. It didn’t seem too far fetched since most of these viruses came from a time before human beings existed. They were clearly very adaptable. The viruses had survived for millions of years. They had simply been waiting for some moron to come along and disturb their slumber.
Raven thought about the colossal stupidity that had caused their current situation, it came as no surprise to her that it happened. As she stared at the vast cosmos before her, Raven could see the complexity of the universe around her. Man was forever trying to prove that he is the master of nature and nature was forever standing r
ight there to prove him wrong. How could anyone believe that there wouldn’t be consequences for destroying an entire ecosystem?
Raven tried not to think about it. It was not like she had done anything to try and stop what was happening. Raven had always laughed at her friends who got involved in causes. She had never been politically active or socially aware. Raven knew that she was part of the problem, and that she should have done more, but it all seemed pointless now. There was no going back, Raven decided she needed to focus on what she could control.
Raven watched a white trail dart across the sky and smiled. Nothing ever mattered when you stared up at the stars. Raven was always in awe when she looked at the night sky. She wanted to ask Jordan about what was bothering him and why she couldn’t stay, but she didn’t want to ruin the perfectly good moment that they were having. Instead she grabbed Jordan’s arm and wrapped it around herself. Jordan took his other arm and put it around Raven as well.
As it got later Raven could feel a chill in the air. She headed inside the cabin. “Are you coming?” She asked Jordan who didn’t move.
“No, I am going to sleep out here.” Jordan said as he pulled out a canvas chair and plopped it down on the porch. “I’m okay out here,” Jordan reassured his guest. “I am just going to take a little run. I have to check my nets and stuff.”
“Yeah, okay,” Raven said as she walked back inside without turning back. She was trying to remind herself that she was done worrying about what was going on with Jordan. The fact was that Raven was a strong, independent woman. There was no way that she needed a man, or anyone, to help her survive. Raven took off her shoes and then wrapped herself up in the blankets. It was time for sleep.
The wind was starting to pick up and it sounded like rain was just starting to fall. Raven wasn’t used to the noises in the cabin yet. She tried to drown everything out and just get some sleep. She started thinking about Jordan out on the cold rainy night. Raven knew that he would be back in an hour or so, but she would sleep a lot better when Jordan got back.
