“Alright.” I gave in, desperate in my own way to see a hint of the boy I’d fallen in love with all those years ago.
“Thank you.” He nodded, relieved, he hesitantly took his phone from his pocket. “So, can I...can I call you?”
I nodded and took his phone from him to replace my old number. I smiled a secret smile to myself at the memory of Cam and Adam sitting me down and making me memorise the new number, along with both of theirs. I still wasn’t sure why I needed to remember my own number. That had been a long night!
“Ok, so I’ll ring you soon.” Jase said, taking his phone back, confidence oozing back into him. He moved to hug me and I hugged him back. Not as tightly as we had in the church, I didn’t want him to read anything into it, because I knew there was no going back for us. I could never again trust him completely and that wasn’t fair to either of us.
The rest of our friends left soon after, with talk of phone calls and nights out with Sally and Nat. Luke and Nate promised not to be strangers and I knew we would be seeing more of them in the future and that alone felt good, I knew Cam had missed them both over the last couple of weeks.
Later that night, after I had curiously found a copy of Pride and Prejudice on the front porch that I didn’t think was mine and Cam and I had huddled up on the sofa and watched back to back episodes of The Flash, my phone did its TARDIS thing. I picked it up, happy to avoid sleep and the inevitable nightmares for a little while longer.
Adam: You awake?
Me: Always
Adam: Nightmares?
Me: Not yet. In bed with my new book boyfriend. You?
Adam: Nope, you cured me. Do I want to know what a book boyfriend is?
Me: A boyfriend who is in my book, duh. I’m rolling my eyes at you.
Adam: So a made up boyfriend then?
Me: The best kind.
Adam: Talk to me about your book.
Me: It has gargoyles. Really sexy gargoyles, with wings and they’re badass. Did I mention they were sexy?
Adam: So gargoyles do it for you, eh?
Me: Among other things.
Adam: Share...
Me: Vampires, werewolves, fallen angels, demons, witches. An alien or two.
Adam: No humans?
Me: Why would there be humans?
Adam: Not even a badass, tall, dark and handsome human in a police uniform anywhere? You know, just stepping in to rescue the damsel in distress from the big ugly gargoyle.
Me: How very dare you. I’m appalled! Gargoyles are far from ugly. No woman in her right mind would ever need rescuing from a gargoyle.
Adam: Is it still too early to fall in love with you?
Me: If you’re not into gargoyles you’re not into me.
Just as I was setting my phone down it beeped again.
Night Cee. J xx
I looked at the message, uncertain as to whether I should respond or not. On nights when Jase and I had stayed at our own houses instead of with each other, he always sent a goodnight message before he went to bed. I knew that’s what this was. What was I supposed to do? I thought back over the day, trying to find the point where I had given him false hope about us. The truth was it could be read into many of the things I’d done. Hugging him, telling him it wasn’t important when he apologised, everything down to simply giving him my number. As much as I wanted to ignore the message, I knew it would play on my mind all night if I didn’t respond. So I typed out “Goodnight Jase.” I left it at that. No kisses, no terms of endearment. Then I put down my phone, climbed into bed and lost myself in my current book.
*****
I decided to attend the service for the red head; I did know her after all. I knew her in a way many of them hadn’t, it would have been odd for me not to pay my respects. My lady was in attendance, surrounded by her entourage. She may be blind to their feeble attempts to be close to her, feigning comfort and concern, but I see through their actions. I see the desire on their faces as they touch her and I am ashamed to admit, jealousy courses through me each time one of them is near her. Jealousy is such a useless emotion. Further, that she continues to allow them this intimacy with her enrages me, this is not how a lady ought to be behaving, yet another lesson she must learn when she returns to me. While delivering my lady’s most recent gift this evening I procured my next student. Her screams invade my thoughts now, but I will leave her to stew for a while. I hope she bleeds well.
*****
Chapter Six
Nick: I wish I was a glow worm, a glow worms never glum. ‘Cos how can you be grumpy when the sun shines out your bum?!!
Me: Why are we friends?
Nick: I’m outside.
Me: Woohoo!
I skipped happily out the front door, hopped down the steps one by one alternating feet as I went and practically flew across the road to where Nick was waiting for me, sitting on his vintage Triumph motorcycle (another of Nate’s genius finds). He laughed at my enthusiasm as he helped tighten the helmet I had excitedly pulled over my head. I bounced on the heels of my signature black biker boots and grinned madly at him. Nothing was getting me down today. Darkness be damned. Today was all about the light. An entire day of adventures with my sunshine boy. And on Valentine’s Day no less. Who needs a boyfriend when you have a best friend?
“You nearly knocked your brother over there Miss Bouncy.” He grinned, “Hold still while I do it up.”
I hadn’t even noticed Cameron and a frowny Adam standing on our front porch, studying something official looking that they held between them. I hadn’t noticed Adam’s car parked in the road outside our house either. I was so deliriously happy about finally getting back on the bike with Nick and leaving everything behind for the day, that I’d hopped, skipped and jumped right past them both.
“Oops! Sorry!” I called and blew a kiss to them as Nick started the engine and I climbed on behind him.
Cam raised his cup to me, an amused smirk on his face. He knew how much I loved the freedom I felt when we went out on Nick’s bike. Adam snapped shut the folder he was looking at and held a hand up and waved. His frown dropped and he laughed as Nick circled the bike, turning it in the road and I wobbled and had to grab his jacket quickly to avoid falling off. I was laughing to myself as we sped off towards the open countryside and mountain roads nearby.
“Pockets!” Nick yelled above the noise of the engine. I dutifully wrapped my arms around his waist and buried my hands in his pockets.
I sighed and rested my head between Nick’s shoulders as he wove the bike along the curving mountain roads. The higher we got the more beautiful the scenery became. Our small town of Frost Ford was nestled in a valley of lush, green hillsides and a patchwork of open countryside and farming fields spread for miles around it. I often felt sorry for Nick, not being able to take in the views as well as I could. He didn’t seem to mind, waffling some petrol headed nonsense about the thrill of the ride and the feel of the machine on a good road. I just nodded and agreed with him.
After about an hour Nick pulled the bike over at one of our favourite spots and we made the rest of the way on foot to a clearing at the edge of the hillside, a place we’d found by accident one day. We’d stopped on one of our rides and ventured into a patch of woodland, discovering that it lead to a clearing at the other side with the most amazing view of the valley below. We’d spent hours here over the years. As usual we’d brought picnic food and a blanket to sit on, carried in the bike’s saddle bags. We would lie on the blanket for hours, sometimes talking, sometimes just enjoying the comfortable silence and the beauty around us.
Unknown: Happy Valentine ’s Day beautiful. Next year we will be together again.
Me: Who is this?
Unknown: Your future
My blood ran cold and I turned to Nick and stammered, “How do you block a number?”
He leaned over, took one look at the phone in my hand and grabbed it from me, reading the messages. “Who is this Cal?”
“I don’t know,
probably just Jase trying to fuck with my head. Just block the number for me will you?” I asked him.
Nick tapped on the screen for a few seconds and then handed it back. “Any more unwanted gifts lately?”
“Not for a few days.” I told him.
“You tell me if that carries on yeah? I’ll deal with him.” I nodded and put the phone away to forget about Jase. I was not about to let him ruin our day.
“Do you think anyone else ever comes here?” I pondered, twisting a blade of grass that I’d plucked. It hadn’t warmed up too much yet, but snowdrops and crocuses littered the grass we sat on as the first signs of spring began to show.
“I like to think not.” Nick replied, tugging on my hair as he leaned back to rest on his elbows.
“Why not?” I turned and lay on my side to face him.
“Because this is our place.” He said simply, as if it should be obvious.
“You don’t want to share?” I poked his dimple playfully.
“Nope!” he grinned and rolled to his side, facing me. “I’ve missed this Cal. I miss, you know, just being us. Life gets in the way so much these days.”
“Being a grown up isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.” I nodded. I knew what he meant. It had always been easy between Nick and me, our friendship required no effort. After my abduction we’d become even more inseparable. He somehow instinctively knew when I was having a dark moment and had a way of bringing me out of it. Yet even he never saw the full extent of how deep my darkness went. I think he knew I wasn’t showing him all of it, but he never pushed for more than I was willing to give, he just made sure he was there when I needed him.
“We don’t spend enough time together lately.” I said “We used to sneak off from the others all the time.”
“And usually get ourselves into trouble.” He agreed with a chuckle.
“Like the thing with the lemurs.” I remembered an eventful trip to the zoo that I refused to let him live down and smirked at him.
“Lemurs are arseholes!” Nick was still grumpy about that little adventure so he changed the subject, grinning. “Remember the time we got stuck on Liv’s roof and had to sleep out there? I thought Jase was going to kill me when he found us the next morning.”
I laughed. We had all been at Liv’s house, her parents were away and we were staying overnight, we were only 16 or 17 at the time. Everyone but Nick and I had fallen asleep, always being the last ones awake. There had been a full moon that night so we decided to climb out of Liv’s bedroom window onto the flat roof of the garage below and look at the sky. The window had locked behind us and since everyone else was downstairs asleep, we were stuck until morning. We’d found it hilarious. Jase had not.
“He was so mad!” I said, shaking my head.
“I don’t think it helped that you’d used me as a pillow.” Nick grinned wolfishly. It seemed I was in the habit of using men as pillows, even from a young age.
“No.” I said quietly, remembering the huge argument Jase and I had over it. And how I’d had to get in between him and Nick to stop them from hurting each other. Jase had always been jealous of my friendship with Nick, with Luke and Nate too, but mostly Nick. Nick had gone out of his way to be Jase’s friend too and they mostly got on fine. Still, Jase just couldn’t seem to get it into his head that Nick and I were no more than friends. Thankfully Nick wasn’t scared off easily and never really let it bother him.
“Hey, you ok in there?” Nick tugged on my hair again.
“Things have changed so much.” I sighed wistfully.
“You miss him.” It wasn’t a question.
“Kind of. I can’t explain it, not even to myself really. I mean, he’s been part of my life for so long, even before we got together, so it feels odd not to have him around. But I don’t miss us. I don’t miss him being my boyfriend. I certainly don’t miss the arguing. It’s just weird, not having that other person there all the time. But not always bad weird...” I looked at Nick and he grinned. “I’m rambling aren’t I?”
“It’s what you do best Cal.” He laughed and pulled me with him as he lay back down on his back. I twisted to the side slightly and rested my head on his chest and we lay like that for a long time, looking at the sky. Not needing to talk.
Later we sat on his bike outside my house, chatting about everything and nothing. I had shimmied around the front of Nick to sit facing him on the bike, my denim clad legs draped over his thighs.
“Hey, you know what we never did?” I said, a sudden brainwave hitting me.
“We’re going to die aren’t we?” Nick smirked.
“No lemurs this time, I promise.” I crossed my heart. “But what about those matching tattoos we always talked about?”
“You still want to?” he asked, taking my hand and tracing a design on the back of it with his finger. Sometimes, before he began tattooing, Nick would use a pen and draw designs on my skin to practice. It was usually when he felt stressed about something to do with his Mum or brothers; it calmed him somehow, more so than drawing on paper. I spent half of our teenage years covered in faded black ink drawings; they were so beautiful I never wanted to wash them off.
“Of course! Although I’m not sure you have any room left.” I gestured to his leather enclosed arms that were both almost fully covered in stunning inked designs.
“There’s always room for you Cal. Alright, let me see here...” He gently took my wrists in his hands and pushed up my jacket sleeves. “Can I take them off for a minute?” he indicated my bracelets by rubbing his thumb over them. I nodded, trusting him completely. He loosened some of the ties and removed them all. He pocketed my bracelets and then turned both my wrists in his hands and looked at the scars. After a few minutes he nodded to himself and put all my bracelets back on in exactly the right order that I’d worn them before. He knew I was fussy about how they all sat next to each other. I had them sorted so that they rested perfectly against one another to cover the scars.
“I can cover this one.” He told me quietly holding onto my left hand, I didn’t miss the emotion in his voice when he said it. The scarring there was slightly smaller and lighter in colour than my right one. I nodded and a single tear trailed a path down my cheek. I liked the idea that he could put something meaningful and permanent over the mark. Nick leant towards me and kissed the tear away from my cheek, then he smiled and tugged on my hair, making me laugh.
“Alright Moonbeam, I’ll come up with some designs and talk to Popeye, see when he can fit us in. I already have a few ideas.” Nick said, referring to the other tattoo artist that worked in his studio. Nick couldn’t ink himself, but he would do mine. “So anyway, you and Adam?”
“Ah, not you too Nick!” I groaned, pulling my hand away from him.
“Pretty difficult to miss Cal.” He smiled and dragged my hand back into his lap, refusing to let go. “You like him?”
“Yes I like him. He’s my friend. I like you. I like Mick. I like Vin...” I pouted.
“Alright, alright, I get it. You’re in denial.” He laughed, interrupting my outburst.
“We’re friends. That’s all!” I crossed my arms as if that confirmed it.
“You sure?” Nick raised his eyebrows at me.
“No.” I whispered, dragging my bottom lip into my mouth with my teeth.
“I knew it!” Nick whispered back gleefully, pulling my hair again.
“No. You don’t. You don’t know anything. Shit Nick, I don’t know anything!” I rambled.
“Confused much.” He smirked, I hated him.
“One of these days Sunshine, you’re gonna get caught. You’re going to fall head over heels and I’m going to be there. Laughing.” I poked him in the chest.
“Yeah, yeah. So, Adam?” he pushed.
“I don’t know. I like where we are right now. If it ain’t broke and all that.” I shrugged helplessly, not really sure how to explain myself. There was something different with Adam, something deeper than any of my other friendships that
I couldn’t find the words for. I didn’t have to put it into words for Adam, he already knew because he felt it too.
“Well, for what it’s worth, I’ve got a feeling about you two.” Nick grinned.
“Ahhh, one of Nick the love guru’s feelings. Well, I suppose I’d better hire a wedding planner then hadn’t I? I laughed.
“Oh no, you’re still marrying me.” Nick laughed with me. “He can have you at weekends. I need you at home to cook and clean and look after my brothers during the week!”
“That’s all you want me for?” I feigned outrage.
“Yep. Well, that and all the steamy sex. No point in having a wife if you can’t have sex on demand!” He winked and we laughed together.
“Who’s getting married?” Cameron asked as he appeared at the top of the porch steps, shirtless in only jeans and barefoot, his wavy dark hair all over the place, looking like he just woke up.
“Don’t!” I warned Nick, giving him my best “one word and I’ll break you” look. He smirked at me and waggled his eyebrows, letting me know he wasn’t convinced. “Nobody Cam, nobody is getting married.”
“Erm we’re getting married Moonbeam, remember you asked me the other night? Ibiza baby!” Nick smirked as he spoke. “Wait, it wasn’t just the alcohol talking was it?”
“Ok, well, nobody apart from us.” I rolled my eyes at Nick and refocused on my brother as I climbed off the bike and walked up the steps onto the porch. “You been asleep all day twin?”
“I was tired.” He replied defensively, rubbing at his chest. “Hey Nick, you hanging around bruv? I feel like a barbecue.”
“Plan! We can make it an engagement party honey bun, what do you think?” Nick continued to tease me, I ignored him. Nick kicked the stand out on the bike as he climbed off. He turned in time to catch the car keys Cam had thrown in his direction and walked around to let himself into our car.
“It’s February!” I said glancing between them.
“And?” was Cam’s reply and I knew better than to continue that line of conversation. Cam was having a barbecue. I watched as he pulled out his phone and sent a group text to our friends.
Educating Callie Page 12
