“We were alright weren’t we Cee? At least for a while.” Jase whispered in the dark, his hands tracing circles on my back.
“We were more than alright, for a very long time Jay.” I told him truthfully. We hadn’t been perfect, but who was?
“I’ve loved you for as long as I can remember, you know that? Since we were about three years old.” There was a sad smile in the sound of his voice. “Back when I couldn’t even say your name. You know, I don’t ever remember calling you anything else after CeeCee. When I could have said your name easily, you were still CeeCee to me. I wouldn’t let anyone else say it though. Even then, when we were kids, I was trying to own you and I had no idea what I was doing.”
“I didn’t mind.” I told him, “I liked that only you called me that.”
“I need to tell you Cee, about Amy.” He whispered against my hair.
“No Jay, I don’t want to hear that. When we get out of here we can talk all you want.” I told him.
“No baby, I have to say these things to you. I don’t know if I’ll get the chance again.”
“Don’t. We are going to get out of here Jay!” I snapped.
“I love it when you call me that. Always did. I avoided her for years...” He began, his hand in my hair, stroking gently.
“Please...” I begged on the edge of tears.
“Let me Cee. I need you to know this.” He pleaded and I nodded silently against his chest.
“I avoided her as much as I could. I knew she liked me, but I never saw her as anything more than a friend. I only ever had eyes for you. She would ring and text me and turn up when you weren’t there. The first few times she came over we hung out, I thought just as friends. I’d make her a brew and we talked, like you and Nick. Then she began to make it clear what she really wanted. I started to steer clear of her after that. About a year before...before you were taken the first time, I began to realise I was losing you. I started to get desperate. I wanted a ring on your finger and a baby in your belly as fast as I could get them there. I even started hiding your pills.” He paused and I couldn’t help the laugh that came. It wasn’t funny at the time, but now it seemed insignificant.
“I remember.” I told him. I’d thought it was my own stupidity, forgetting my pills, so I’d gone to the doctor and switched to an injection that I only had to remember once every twelve weeks.
“I thought if we had a baby you wouldn’t leave me, as though it would somehow fix us. I was constantly paranoid about what you were doing, all those men that were around you when you were working. I knew that Matt bloke from the band was into you, had been since school, and it drove me insane.” He sighed and I squeezed his bicep in an effort to comfort him. “I couldn’t bear the thought of a life without you Cee. That’s also when the arguments started. The night you went missing, we fought, before you left for work and again after. I hated what I was doing to you, I knew my actions would only push you away, but I couldn’t see a way to keep you. Then after we found you we just fell back into us, like nothing had happened. It was good again for a while and I thought we’d be ok. Then you went into yourself, struggling to deal with what had happened to you. And what did I do? I stifled you again, refused to give you what you needed.”
He stopped for a few minutes, just holding me as we breathed together in the dim lamp light. “The night with her, with Amy, she turned up after you left for work, as was her usual routine. I always sent her packing, never let her in. Again, we’d argued before you left and when I saw her on the doorstep I just thought why the fuck not? You didn’t want me anymore, she did. I’d been drinking, I was hammered and it seemed logical in my head. But when we were there, with it actually happening...”
“I don’t need a blow by blow Jay.” I joked shallowly.
“I know babe. All I could see and think of was you. It wasn’t her in my mind, it was you wanting me again. You giving me what I craved from you. You, letting me make love to you the way I always had. I chased you and Adam refused to let me anywhere near you. Ha! He was protecting you even then. I went home and she was still there. I yelled at her that she was disgusting, that I wanted nothing to do with her. Told her that you were the only one I would ever want. I said unforgiveable things to her and she ran off into the night screaming and swearing at me. Fuck, Cee, if I had known what was going to happen to her...”
“Shhhh, you could never have known that Jase. Nobody could. It wasn’t your fault.” I didn’t tell him I blamed myself for Amy’s death, of course I did, but he didn’t need to hear that. That was mine to deal with.
“Losing you was worse than anything I had ever felt CeeCee. It was fucking torture. I drank. A lot. I’m sure Nick told you since he was on my tail the whole time. Then one night I was in a club in Marbledon and there was this woman who looked like you. At least to me she did. Maybe I was just seeing you everywhere and I wanted her to look like you, but I saw what I saw. I took her outside and fucked her up against an alley wall and then I walked away from her. Didn’t even ask her fucking name, I think I might have even called her Cee.” I winced at his words, “I’m not proud of it babe. My only defence is that I was falling apart over you and that’s a thin defence at best. But she was the only other one. Her and Amy. That was it. I didn’t want you to think there had been all these other women the whole time we were together, because I was true to you Cee, all those years before that, you were mine and I was yours. Completely. I didn’t even look at another woman. I promise you. I lost the best thing in my life and I will never forgive myself for hurting you. I’m so sorry CeeCee, so fucking sorry. Please believe me.” He was crying now.
“I believe you Jay.” I said quietly, leaning up to kiss his cheek, my own tears mingling with his. And I did believe him. I wanted to say more, to tell him I forgave him and that although we were no longer together I would always care for him deeply but I didn’t get chance.
The front door slammed and we both jumped up, not knowing what to do next. He would come down here and see Jase out of the chains. He would know I had taken the key. I was in for mirror time, that was a given, but what would he do to Jase? The door at the top of the stairs opened and he began to walk down at a slow and deliberate pace, his steps echoing off the bare walls. Jase turned to me and held a finger to his lips; he stood, picked up the butter knife from the plate and moved silently to the shadows at the bottom of the stairs. I wanted to tell him to come back, not to challenge Malcolm like I knew he was going to, Malcolm would use his own knife. But I couldn’t warn Jase without letting Malcolm know too. As Malcolm reached the last step Jase didn’t hesitate, he pounced on our captor, tackling him to the floor and they both went down grunting.
“Run Cee! Get out! Go!” Jase yelled at me. Hearing the pain in his voice I knew I had to make this count, so I fled up the stairs. I ran through the kitchen and straight into the hallway to the front door. Of course it was locked and the thick, wooden door had no glass to break. I looked around for Malcolm’s coat but it was nowhere in sight. He must still have been wearing it, which meant no keys. Frantically I began to thump the door and scream and shout as loud as my voice would let me to whoever might be out there. I ran through all the downstairs rooms banging at the windows, all of them locked. Turning in a circle in the living room, my eyes landed on the side table next to the chair I had sat in earlier and I lifted it and took it to the patio doors at the back of the room. I swung the table like a baseball bat at the window, over and over again until the glass cracked. My hair was yanked from behind and I fell to my knees.
“I trusted you.” He ground out, pulling me to my feet by my hair and dragging me through the house back towards the cellar. “You have been deceiving me, playing a very dangerous game with me. Now you will learn my Callie, now you will learn.”
He flung me through the cellar door and down the stairs. I landed in a painful heap of tangled limbs at the bottom of the cellar steps, flinching as the footsteps followed me down. Once again I was dragged to my feet by m
y hair and pulled across the room to where Jase now lay in a heap, a pool of blood rapidly forming around him.
“Noooo!” I screamed. My mind refused to register the damage to my body from the fall I had taken down the stairs as I reached for Jase. He yanked on my hair to pull me back.
“Oh yes Callie, oh yes. I was going to allow you to keep him a while, see if we couldn’t teach him too. But not after this betrayal. You think to steal from me Callie?” He bellowed, “You think to deceive me? Fool me once Callie, fool me once. Your punishment my dear, sweet Callie, is to watch your first love die. The wound I have inflicted will allow him maybe fifteen minutes, possibly less. So say your goodbyes my girl. Tomorrow we leave this town and everything in it!”
He threw me to my knees and I landed in the sticky pool of Jase’s blood, then he turned and left. I crawled to Jase’s side and searched for the wound, finding a tear in his t shirt at the side, I tried in vain to apply pressure and staunch the bleeding.
“CeeCee.” He groaned.
“It’s okay Jay, you’re going to be okay. I’ll fix this, I’ll find a way.” The blood continued to seep from the wound and I tore at my dress, somehow finding the strength in my weakened arms to rip off long shreds to wrap the wound. I tore Jase’s shirt too and packed it up at the open stab site before wrapping the pieces of my dress around him and tying them as tightly as I could. I was no nurse and had no real clue what I was doing but I would try anything.
“Now you want to get naked with me?” Jase joked, as he coughed and struggled to breath.
“Old time’s sake eh?” I tried to laugh with him, but it was more of a sob. I was losing him and I knew it.
“Just hold me Cee. Hold me until it’s over.” He shivered and I moved to lie alongside him, putting one arm under his head for support and the other across his middle. I pressed myself against his side and got as close as I could. He turned his face towards me and those hazel eyes I loved so much met mine.
“This isn’t it Jay, you’re not going anywhere. I won’t let you.” I cried desperately. “You stay with me, you hear me? Don’t you fucking dare leave me Jay!”
“We both know that’s not true babe. Nobody knows we’re here. Just...” He coughed again and I told him to take slow breaths until he could speak again. “Promise me something Cee.”
“Anything.” I vowed.
“You will get out of here. Cam and Adam will find you, they won’t stop until they do. And when they do, I want you to be happy.” His voice cracked with emotion and another wave of tears washed over me. “Adam loves you.”
“You loved me first Jay.” I told him, choking back tears.
“I did and I never stopped. I never will. I’ve only ever loved you, nobody else. I loved you first Cee...” He struggled to take a breath. “...but he loves you better. I was so focused on keeping you that I didn’t notice I was suffocating you. He won’t do that baby, he’ll love you the right way, he’ll let you breath.”
“I love you Jay. I’ll always love you.” And it was true; there would always be part of me that loved Jason Montgomery. Nothing could change that. Nothing. And I had to make sure he knew.
“I know babe. I love you too. My CeeCee.” He spluttered.
And then he was gone.
And I screamed and wailed at the side of his body until the darkness consumed me.
*****
My anger and disappointment knows no bounds. Once again I trusted too swiftly. This woman catches me off guard, she plays me, she defies and deceives me and I continue to allow myself to be taken in by her at every turn. Mother would be crestfallen with my behaviour and I would have been punished in the most brutal manner. Instead my lady will take the punishment in my place.
My lady’s bag catches my eye from where it lies, forgotten in the corner of my bedroom, where I discarded it on the night I brought her home. I empty its contents onto the bed and begin to look through them, for what I don’t know. Perhaps I am searching for a clue that will help me get closer to her, something to break down the barrier she puts between us. Her mobile phone, turned off, draws my attention. I took it from her bag and turned it off as soon as I had her in my car. I turn it on now and wander downstairs. I am certain there will be many messages for her; perhaps I can use them as a reward in her future lessons.
A knock at the door startles me and I continue down the stairs where I set the phone down on the hallway table while I answer the door. The brother stands on the doorstep, in uniform. I compose myself quickly; a rapid glance over my clothing, as I discreetly remove my gloves, tells me I have been careful enough, no blood has touched my clothing. “Cameron, any news? Please tell me good news.”
“No Mal, nothing. Look I’m sorry to bother you, but we had reports of a lot of noise and glass smashing coming from your place late last night. I have to check it out.”
“Of course, of course, come in. I can assure it was nothing more than a broken window my boy, in here.” I usher him inside and lead him to the lounge. His eyes scan everywhere but I doubt his distracted mind is truly seeing the knocked over table and other mess that his sister left in her wake during her escape attempt.
“Silly old fool that I am, left my step ladders set up overnight by the patio doors after I cleaned the windows. Heard a fox going through the rubbish bins out in the back garden and chased it. Shouting and hollering I was. Bloody thing ran straight into the ladders, got itself tangled underneath and knocked them into the window.” I laugh as he looks at the window.
“You got someone coming out to fix it up for you Mal?” So concerned, such a good boy.
“About to give them a call now son.” I tell him.
“Alright, well if you need a hand.” He offers.
“Heavens no boy, wouldn’t dream of it. You get back out there and find that sister of yours. More important than this old man.”
He nods and walks back towards the front door as my lady’s phone makes an horrific noise from the table.
“Didn’t have you pegged as a sci-fi fan Mal?” He frowns and the phone continues to scream at me from its spot.
“Ah, you know, I have no idea what that is. Your sweet sister did that for me one night in the pub. Said it was cool. I just let her get on with it, never could say no to her. I don’t half miss her antics behind that bar Cameron.” I know I’m floundering, but I think I still have him.
He eyes the phone momentarily and then turns to me, “Me too Mal. Me too. I’ll leave you in peace.”
I sigh in relief as he finally leaves. That was a close call. I turn my attention to fixing the damage my lady caused, deciding to let her stew in her first love’s blood until this evening. The water she drinks down there will keep her drowsy, I have seen to that and I have little desire for her company at present.
*****
Loud noises pulled me from my slumber, heavy footsteps overhead. What on Earth was going on up there? Stickiness pulled at my skin and I remembered.
“Jay.” I whispered. His lifeless body lay next to me. I raised my head to look at him; his eyes were closed, if it weren’t for the blood I could have made believe he was sleeping. At home, in his bed. Peaceful.
The noises and movement above me grabbed my attention again and I looked towards the stairs. There was shouting, more than one voice.
“What the...?” I whispered, my bruised and stiff body fought me as I tried to sit.
Voices hollered from the top of the stairs, the door had seemingly just flown off its hinges. Feet thundered down the stairs and a figure came hurtling towards me, halting suddenly. One word.
“Angel?”
The sound that left my body was inhuman. The gurgled, blood curdling cry of a dying animal as it surrendered to its pain. In a split second he was on his knees pulling me to him, my body shaking involuntarily.
“Adam?” Another beautiful voice called from the top of the stairs.
“I have her Cam.” His voice rumbled in his chest as he pressed me to him. “She’s alive.�
�
*****
Chapter Nineteen
I woke in a bright white hospital room. The light hurt my eyes and I tried to turn my head away from it.
“The blinds.” Someone said, then there were scuffling sounds and the light dimmed. Fingers wound themselves through mine and the bed dipped on one side. I pried my eyes open slowly.
“Welcome back twin.” My brother’s voice cracked as he spoke. His bloodshot eyes met mine and his slightly too long, wavy hair was pointing in all directions on his head, as though he’d been running his hands through it over and over again. There were bags under his eyes and what I thought must have been a week’s worth of beard adorned his chin, yet it was the most beautiful face I had ever seen. He bent forward, slowly, taking care not to jostle my body on the bed and gently took me in his arms while we cried together.
“My anchor.” I whispered through my tears as he held me. It hurt to be held, but I welcomed the pain. It meant I was alive.
“Hey witch.” A voice came from the other side of the bed and I pulled back slightly to see Liv’s blotchy, tear stained face smiling at me. I smiled through the tears and winced as a cut on my cheek re-opened and Liv sobbed as she hugged me. “I have never been so happy to see anyone in my life.”
“Awake at last.” A nurse appeared at the door, smiling, she entered and busied herself checking on me and making notes as she bustled around the room.
“How long was I asleep?” I croaked my voice still hoarse, barely more than a whisper. The nurse gave me some water before answering.
Educating Callie Page 31
