Time for the Lost

by Chess Desalls

  “Why do we need to—?”

  Tremors tore through the ground below me. The earth rumbled and groaned. I felt myself falling backward, being pulled to the ground. My arms flailed as my body twisted and I landed on my hip.

  I felt a pressure on my shoulder. A squeezing. A pinch.

  And then more shaking.

  “Calla, wake up.”

  My eyes fluttered open; I willed them to focus. I sucked in breaths of air as if I’d never get enough oxygen. I pressed my hand to my forehead, and then grimaced as it slipped across, slick and wet.

  I looked up, trying to focus on something other than the purple light that gleamed at the corners of my vision. “Valcas?”

  A face came into view. Dark blue eyes stared back at me. “Are you okay?” said Ray, his voice soothing. He wore a white lab coat.

  “What happened? Where am I?”

  Ray pressed a hand to my cheek. “You’re outside the Clock Tower. Valcas got up a while ago, told us you were still fast asleep. That must have been some dream you were having.”

  A dream. No, not just a dream, an obsession. For whatever reason, what I’d wanted to happen between me and Valcas showed itself to me overnight. It had felt so real, so possible… And, yet, so wrong.

  My forehead cooled as my heartbeat slowed. I pulled myself up from the ground. “What’s with the lab coat?”

  “Oh, this,” Ray said, patting down fabric that was already smooth and wrinkle-free. “I’m taking Lily home today. This is the only spare jacket Nick had—not sure where he got it, but he wanted me to have it for our journey. All my other clothes—”

  “Are back at the TSTA.” I stared at the ground for an uncomfortably long moment. “So, this is good-bye?”

  He bowed his head. A sad smile formed above his chin. “There’s nothing else I can do to help here. I need to find another job; I couldn’t go back to the TSTA anyway—not after hearing about what they’ve done and not the way it’s being run by President Bree. Lily and I have family scattered about. We’ll find someone.”

  “Makes sense,” I said, avoiding his eyes. “Thanks again, Ray, for everything.”

  “And Lily needs me,” he added, hastily. “You and Valcas—”

  “We’ll have each other for as long as we can, I guess.”

  “Yeah. Well, thanks again, Calla. It’s been a pleasure working with you and getting to know you as a friend.” He gave me brotherly hug, just as the door to the Clock Tower opened.

  Lily’s head peeked out behind the door before she glided toward us. “Good morning, Calla. It looks like Ray told you we’re going back home.”

  I met her halfway and pulled her into a hug. “Yes,” I said, looking into her gentle face. “I’ll miss you.”

  “We’ll miss you too,” she said, her eyes connecting with Ray’s.

  Out of nowhere, my lips started to tremble. As much as I didn’t want to melt down in front of Lily, I blurted, “Ray, before you go, tell me something, please. Tell me what you saw, if anything, inside the travel glasses. Tell me that I’m a horrible person for making you do that. I want to hear something brutal and honest.”

  Ray worked his jaw before answering. “I could see your memories, but not Valcas’.” His cheeks tinted with color as his eyes flickered between mine and Lily’s.

  I frowned in apology.

  “That means,” he continued, “that in order to do what you requested, I would’ve had to change your memories. I couldn’t access his. Calla, I could see how you felt about him; I could feel it too—”

  My face burned. “I’m so sorry I asked you to try. It was stupid and unfair.”

  He held up a hand. “Please don’t worry about it.” He gave me his boyish grin. “I was curious. You never know until you try. And what I saw there left me certain.”

  Ray’s admission gave me pause. I stood there, trying to figure out if his words had a double meaning—whether he was referring to the potential for an Overwrite or my feelings for Valcas. Either way, I didn’t want to bother him any longer. He would get on with his life; and I hoped it would be a happy one.

  Shortly afterward, Nick emerged from the Clock Tower. Pockets of hair were still missing from his scalp. He walked with a limp. Bandaged hands swung from the ends of his arms, making them appear thicker than they were. “Are you ready to port home, friends?”

  “We are,” said Ray, wrapping his arm around his sister. “I hope to see you again soon, Calla.”

  “Me too. Have a safe trip.” I waved as I watched them climb the Clock Tower.

  Clocks and hourglasses glowed and faded as Nick skimmed by them. I was surprised they lit up given that his hands were covered in bandages. He stopped, with Ray and Lily close behind, before a globe. Six golden arrows twisted around it—two that looked like watch hands and four that could have been points on a compass.

  Nick’s hand hovered above the globe. Blue and green sparks crackled from the timepiece to his hand as the ball brightened. Clouds swirled around the globe, dizzying me until I couldn’t distinguish whether it was the ball or the clouds that spun. Popping and buzzing sounds intensified.

  “It’s ready,” said Nick. “Join together.” He rested his hand on the globe. He flinched as sparks enveloped his hand and arm, covering his entire body before spreading across Ray and Lily. The purple sky flickered, reflecting the light from the scene below.

  A breath later, they were gone—vaporized, just like my dream.

  My dream. It had been real and surreal at the same time. I could imagine a world where Valcas was born on Earth and we became normal friends living normal lives. The fact that I couldn’t create it killed me. But I also didn’t want to lose the memories I’d made with him. Adding memories in the form of a Daily Reminder was bad enough. Deleting others’ experiences and feelings had to be far worse.

  My life—my journey—had been meaningful. Too meaningful to give up for anyone, including Valcas.

  I walked alone, underneath the purple sky, until Nick returned from transporting Ray and Lily, seemingly surprised that I was still outside, waiting.

  Silently, together, we entered the Clock Tower.

  MY FATHER’S eyes narrowed as I entered the room. He pouted his lips as he looked me up and down, presumably checking to make sure I was still intact. Then, as if satisfied with what he saw, he turned back to the group. “I’m in favor of everyone returning to their families, but I don’t like sitting idle while two of the strongest influences in the worlds are on the cusp of war.” His arm thrashed about wildly as he spoke. So much passion.

  I sat next to him, an arm’s length away.

  “You’ll have plenty of work to keep you busy, Healer,” said Ivory. “Remnants to transport, broth to boil…” She sniffed. “Sounds like your schedule will be much fuller than mine.”

  My father raised an eyebrow at her. True, Ivory had lost her job, but she had the option of staying with Nick or returning to Aboreal. And if Valcas was ready, he could go back to the White Tower. I wasn’t sure what he’d need to do to live with his mother’s family in Aboreal, but that wasn’t a horrible backup plan.

  And then there was me. “If Mom’s at TSTA Headquarters, where do I go?”

  My father pulled his gaze from Ivory and looked at me. His expression softened. “While you spent the night and the greater part of this morning brooding under the sky, we contacted Doreen to let her know you’re safe. She’s agreed to take some time off to go back to the lake…that is, if you want to go.” He looked at me intently. “All I have to offer is a life of wandering, but you are welcome to come with me. It would be a difficult life, one of hard work, traveling and healing. But all that should be safer now that our Uproar has been destroyed. You’ve already proven to be an excellent healer.”

  Tears misted my eyes; but not just because of my father’s compliment and genuine willingness to take me in. Mom had agreed to take off time from work. Her career had been her life. Tensions at the TSTA had to be higher than ever. But she s
till chose me.

  I’d never had to choose between my father and mother before, knowing both wanted me. My lower lip trembled as I sat there staring at my father. My heart flooded with emotions. I didn’t want to choose. I had to refuse.

  “I want both of you in my life,” I said. “You and Mom got along well at the Gala. I saw you dancing—how you looked at her. Imagine that being a daily thing.” I left out the part about Mom running off and leaving him on the dance floor, hoping that had been a simple misunderstanding.

  The look of shock that crossed my father’s face almost made me laugh.

  “I’m serious,” I added before he had a chance to recover. “Why don’t you come with me to Lake Winston? We’ll spend time together there with Mom—for as long as she can stay away from work. It might only be a week or two. And then we can travel together and heal. If Mom sticks around longer, then we can work something out. Think about it, please. Give this a chance.”

  He rubbed his eyes. Then, to my surprise, his head bobbed up and down. “I will think about it. You’ve made a sound argument, and I like your plan.”

  “Good. We’ll need to let Mom know as soon as you decide.”

  Valcas looked at me and smiled. What I wouldn’t have given to know what he was thinking in that moment—where he planned to go. He didn’t seem worried about it. I considered inviting him to join me and my parents; but, honestly, I wanted to spend time with just them. Like a family. Time and space to gather my thoughts couldn’t hurt.

  MY FATHER and I said our good-byes after Ivory confirmed her plans to stay with Nick until she thought of a better solution. That was probably a good idea given that he’d been able to avoid the TSTA—despite his infraction and the fact he’d tied up President Bree in Ray’s office. Ivory feared the TSTA would be after Ray, Lily and me, but what could the agency do? We hadn’t tied her up, and we didn’t owe her anything.

  Ivory pulled me into a hug. “No more frowning. The circumstances could be worse,” she said, squeezing me tightly. “We could still be stuck behind the Fire Falls.”

  Beds of leaves and seaweed flashed in my mind. “I can’t argue with that. Thanks again, Ivory.” She smiled and looked away, as if embarrassed, and then stepped aside for Valcas, who was next in line.

  He leaned in until his lips pressed against my forehead. I breathed him in, savoring the moment. “Enjoy spending time with your family,” he said. “If you need anything, even just to talk, contact me with the travel glasses. We’ll only be a search apart.”

  “I will.” I clasped my arms around him and whispered, “Where will you go?”

  “I’ll stay here a while with Ivory and Nick. Then I’ll go back to the White Tower.”

  I pulled away and looked up at him. “You will?”

  He smiled. “I’m ready now. All because of what you helped me to see. My father’s death was no more my fault than an Uproar’s or the TSTA’s. I will miss him, but I’m free from the guilt and the pain.”

  I couldn’t be more relieved. He was finally at peace with himself and with me.

  After Valcas and I squeezed hands once more in a final good-bye, Nick led my father and me to the same portal where he’d transported Lily and Ray: to the globe that represented time and life on Earth.

  MOM WAS at the dock waiting for us when my father and I arrived, after having grounded on the other side of the lake. She waved as we approached, reminding me of the summers we used to spend together at Lake Winston. Inundated with happy memories, as if all of the bad had been filtered out, I picked up my pace. A sense of belonging overwhelmed me. I’d been away from home for a very long time.

  Her smile pulled back in horror as we neared. “You two are a mess. Were you in danger?”

  I laughed. “No, Mom. We’re fine.”

  “Okay, well, that’s good,” she said. Hesitation clouded her voice, but I didn’t care. I could explain.

  “The portal between the Clock Tower and Earth dumped us out across from a bus station in Dallas, Texas. I transported us the rest of the way here using my travel glasses.”

  Mom’s hands reached her hips when she looked at my father. She curled her lips as if he was to blame for our ruffled appearance.

  “It was easier,” I said, defending him. “It’s going to take me a long time to get used to busses, regular airplanes and other traditional, slow forms of transportation. A flight from Dallas would have taken hours, and that’s not counting check-in, layovers and security screening.”

  Lips trembling, Mom burst into a laugh. “We are anything but traditional, aren’t we? Welcome back, both of you.”

  “Thank you for allowing me to stay, Doreen.”

  Mom replied with a flirtatious grin that made my heart flutter, assuring me that whatever differences they’d had on the dance floor during the TSTA Gala could be set aside. I couldn’t imagine what her smile did to my father. I couldn’t stop grinning. This was going to work.

  I joined arms with each of my parents, practically dragging them from the dock back to the cottage. Speaking of… “Is Uncle Al living at the cottage again?”

  “Yes. Business has been slow, so he only stays here during the summertime. He’s glad to be here to welcome you.”

  “Wait a minute. It’s summer?” I looked around the lake, at the grass and the flowers. My eyes popped open as we passed a jungle gym and picnic tables that weren’t there last fall. How long ago was last fall? Or was it last, last fall?

  “All season long. You missed both your spring and fall semesters. If you’re still interested in the plant biology program, you’ll need to re-enroll.”

  I crinkled my nose, more because of the gap in time than missing classes for a field that no longer held my interest. Now that my father had introduced me to healing, there was nothing else I wanted more than to serve alongside him. Plus, Edgar had given me an education in time travel theory. If Mom was right about the timing, then my hands-on training must have lasted for more than a year. “So that would mean…”

  Mom smiled down at me. “You missed your birthday. You’re eighteen, an adult. Uncle Al bought a cake to celebrate. He’s bustling around the house, trying to make it more presentable, just for you.”

  When we entered the cottage the first thing I noticed was that it smelled like furniture polish and freshly baked cake. An oven fan hummed in the background.

  “Uncle Al,” I said, barely giving him time to seat us at the kitchen table.

  He looked at me with his dark, piercing eyes. “I have an apology to make to you, Cally.” Shrugging, he added, “I certainly had long enough to think about choosin’ the right words.”

  I raised my eyebrows, wondering where he was going with this.

  “I’m sorry ‘bout how hard I was on you. I never should have let you meet up with that young man at the dock. I should have been out there, waiting with my shotgun and a baseball bat just for kicks.”

  My father grunted. “That’s all in the past, Al. Please. You have done nothing wrong. Valcas would have found her eventually.”

  Uncle Al didn’t have a comeback right away. Or several long moments later.

  A giggle bubbled up inside me, threatening to burst as I watched Uncle Al size up my father. He shook his head at my father’s cloak and tool belt, as if he was an outsider. Which, in a sense, he was—from a place way outside the galaxy where Earth belonged. Their eyes locked in a staring contest; my father’s sea blue eyes were just as piercing. I had no doubt Uncle Al still had issues with my father getting Mom pregnant. It was time for him to let it go, in my opinion. Mom had.

  While waiting, I stared longingly at a cake frosted with chocolate. Eighteen candles stuck out from it like a pincushion.

  “We’ll have plenty of time to discuss all that’s happened,” said Mom, striking a match. She dotted each of the candles with a flame. “Right now, I could use a vacation.”

  My father and Uncle Al broke their gaze, seemingly willing to set aside their differences for the moment, and sat down.<
br />
  I sunk into a chair and smiled as three very different people, all related to me, sang “Happy Birthday.”

  SEVERAL NIGHTS later, I left my parents chatting by the lake and walked back to the cottage. They’d gotten along well over the past few days, even better than I’d expected. Seeing them together made me happy, and I should have felt complete. I’d found my father behind the Fire Falls. He’d freed me from Susana. And Mom was away from work for the first time in years. We were together. But I couldn’t shake the feeling that something was missing.

  After walking upstairs to my room, I switched on the light and shut the door behind me. My room felt comforting and familiar. All of the clothes and personal items I’d left behind were still there. My backpack sat in the corner by my desk—Valcas had returned it to me during my recovery after being Lost in Susana. Shirlyn’s diary and the zobascope helped me pass the hours during that time.

  But now I was back home where books crowded my shelves—hordes of them, filled with pages about places and characters that, at one time, I’d felt belonged to me. That I was a part of their written lives. Now I couldn’t stop thinking about books as writings on physical objects. They weren’t Daily Reminders because they weren’t intended to change the past; the authors’ words were either recordings of past events or inventions of new ones, written for the purpose of sharing ideas and entertaining readers. In a way, they were fixed, like slices in time that could, but likely would not, be overwritten.

  I kicked off my running shoes, lay back on my bed and stared at the ceiling. I was back where I’d started, on Earth. After just a few days away from it all, my travels through time and space felt like a dream from a lifetime that I’d never lived—as if I were a fictional character in one of my books. Had my father accepted my Uncle Al’s offer of an extra pair of clothes, I may have questioned whether there was a world called Chascadia. Fortunately, he continued to wear his cloak and had tuned up the baglamas more than once. But how long would he stay?