by Brandon Witt
“Holy Mother of God,” Tommy groaned. His body tensed for one beat until he remembered to breathe and let it happen.
Bobby paused, and Tommy could feel Bobby’s whole body trembling behind him.
“Okay?” Bobby asked again, his voice strained, and Tommy could only nod in response. “I can go slower or….”
Tommy made a frustrated sound and pushed back against him. “I asked you to fuck me, copper, not tease me.”
Bobby let out another breathy laugh, as if he knew Tommy was being stubborn. He didn’t push harder or move faster, but he did roll his hips until he was deep inside.
When Tommy groaned and pressed back again, Bobby asked, “Better?”
Tommy could picture the smirk on Bobby’s face, and he could feel Bobby’s lips tilting up against the back of his neck. “Better,” he agreed as they started to move together.
As they fell into a heated rhythm, Tommy let himself go. For one of the first times in his life, he didn’t think about his obligations or what messes might be waiting for him when he got home. He didn’t think about his family or their shitty luck or that he and Bobby were so wrong for each other. He didn’t think about the ways he had changed since they’d been together or the ways Bobby had changed either. He let himself feel Bobby inside him. He let Bobby take control for once. Instead of guiding Bobby and pushing Bobby and demanding anything from Bobby, Tommy let it all fall away and relished the experience of getting lost with him.
Tommy felt Bobby’s hand slide lower over his chest and stomach. “Stroke yourself for me, Tom.”
Tommy’s voice came out in a sharp grunt at the words, and he wrapped his fingers around his cock. He started slowly at first, out of synch with the motion of Bobby’s thrusts, but after a moment, he couldn’t take it and started to match each drive of Bobby’s hips. He worked his cock quickly in swift, needy passes until he could tell Bobby was on the edge. Their movements became sloppy, out of control, and more desperate as they worked toward release.
With a rough groan in Tommy’s ear, Bobby slammed hard into him, and it pushed Tommy over the edge. He came with a muffled cry, breathing hard as his stomach and the sheet beneath him were coated in thick white fluid.
“Oh Jesus, Tom,” Bobby muttered and dropped his head to Tommy’s shoulder. Tommy pressed back against him and tried to move with him, but the sensations were too much, and in the end, he let Bobby thrust into him for another long moment until Bobby came deep inside him.
They stayed locked together, Bobby holding him tightly as he panted against Tommy’s hair. Tommy laced his fingers through Bobby’s and pulled his hand up higher, letting Bobby’s palm rest against his chest, covering his heartbeat. “I should let you do that more often,” he whispered as his eyes fell shut.
Bobby’s soft laugh made him smile. “Yeah, you should. Maybe some time when I’m not recovering from surgery.”
“What they did to you barely qualifies as surgery,” Tommy told him, laughing with Bobby. “The only reason it wasn’t an ER procedure was because they wanted the plastic surgeon to stitch you up. Don’t be a baby.”
Bobby let out a bark of laughter before he said, “You’re an asshole.”
He pulled back then and reached between them as he carefully pulled out of Tommy. Tommy didn’t bother to turn around or even move. He felt too good where he was, even with the wet spot growing cold against his stomach.
He did glance over his shoulder when Bobby got up, but he didn’t pay much attention after that. Everything went quiet in his mind, and before he knew it, he was waking up to the sound of Bobby’s voice.
“Tom,” Bobby whispered.
Tommy turned over and wrapped himself around Bobby. “I should probably get a move on,” he muttered, still wanting to drift back to sleep, not knowing if he’d been out for a minute or an hour already. “What time is it?” he asked, though part of him didn’t want to know the answer.
“Quarter after two,” Bobby told him after a pause.
Tommy could feel Bobby’s fingers moving on his skin in a soft, warm pattern. Bobby played with his hair and stroked his shoulder in tender sweeps.
“Shit,” Tommy lifted his head lazily and laughed. “If I get home after the kids, your mother’ll learn the hard way not to offer to babysit again.”
“She’s tougher than you think.”
“Given the fact that you’re exactly like her, I don’t doubt it.”
It was Bobby’s turn to laugh before he leaned in and caught Tommy’s mouth in a kiss. Something seemed off to Tommy, and he was trying to decide if he had enough time to find out what it was exactly. The memory of the night before and what it felt like when he thought he was going to lose Bobby for good made him ask, “You okay there, copper?”
“Yeah,” Bobby answered, but he didn’t quite meet Tommy’s eye.
“You sure about that?” Tommy knew better than to press. He hated it when people pushed him for answers he didn’t want to give, but he was curious now, and worried, and a whole lot of other things he wasn’t willing to name.
Bobby nodded and pulled back to let Tommy get up. “Yeah, just…. You oughtta get going.”
That wasn’t what Bobby had been about to say, and Tommy knew it.
“But…?” Tommy prompted as he took Bobby’s cue and pulled back too.
He sat up and started scanning the room for his clothes. When Bobby didn’t expand on anything or even answer, Tommy asked, “You freaked out about last night?”
He’d heard of post-traumatic stress, and he knew sometimes a person’s reaction to something could be delayed. Bobby didn’t seem the type for that, but who the hell knew? Tommy wasn’t sure how he’d handle getting shot. Or having to shoot someone else.
Tommy pulled on his jeans when he found them in a heap on the floor near the other side of the bed. He and Bobby hadn’t been careful about where they threw their clothes when they’d made their way into the shower earlier. He looked up from doing the button fly on his jeans when Bobby spoke.
“I don’t know, not really. Maybe I should be, but…. Yeah. I meant what I said, Tom. It was rough, it was scary, but I did my job, and I’m okay with it. I was trained for it. I’ll jump through the department hoops, and I’ll see the shrink when they send me. I’ll sit on my ass for a while until the docs release me for work, but I’m okay.”
“You still look a little freaked out.” It was an offhanded comment as Tommy searched for his shoes, not one he expected a reply to.
Bobby snorted a laugh. “If anything is freaking me out here, it’s you.”
Tommy stopped what he was doing and looked at Bobby. He was trying to figure out if Bobby was joking or not, but the look on his face told him Bobby was being completely honest. “What the hell did I do?”
“You’re just…. I don’t even know what you are. For the last six months I’ve had to fight tooth and nail for every inch with you, and now, ever since last night, you look at me like a puppy with cartoon hearts fluttering over your head. It’s freaking me the hell out.”
Bobby didn’t shout, but the words felt like a slap, and Tommy nettled instantly. “Are you shitting me? You’ve been telling me for months that I should open up, that I should just enjoy what we have, that I should let it be more, and now you’re telling me that it freaks you out when I actually take your goddamned advice?”
Tommy found his shirt on the other side of the bed, and he pulled it on over his head like it was the thing pissing him off.
Bobby met the aggression and stood up. “A little bit, yeah!” He dug a pair of sweatpants out of his dresser drawer and jerked them on before he continued. “I mean, hell, Tom, if I knew from the start all I had to do was take a little bullet to get you to serenade me, I would’ve tried it months ago!”
Tommy had only managed to find one shoe so far. He held it in his hand as he stepped closer to Bobby and said, “Oh yeah? How’s this for a serenade, Bobby? Fuck you!”
“Fuck me? Fuck me? Fuck you, Tommy! You cou
ldn’t act like this a week ago, could you? No. Hell, no. Because God forbid you actually admit to giving a shit about anything until the final hour.”
“Yeah? Well maybe I didn’t wanna think about it until then. Maybe it was enough to scare the shit out of me. Maybe I was hoping it wouldn’t be the final hour, and maybe I thought you oughtta know how I felt in case the next bullet you take isn’t a goddamn flesh wound!”
It looked to Tommy like his words had struck something in Bobby. He froze where he stood and cleared his throat. Tommy went back to looking for his missing shoe.
“Maybe you’re right,” Bobby said softly. He sounded like it hurt to admit it.
Tommy quit his search and glanced at Bobby. “I’m always right,” he said through gritted teeth.
Bobby laughed on a breath. “If by always you mean almost never.”
“Fuck you.” The words might have sounded unkind, but Tommy tempered them with his smile. He stepped closer to Bobby, still holding the single shoe in his hand.
Bobby met him halfway and wrapped his uninjured arm around Tommy’s neck. “No time for that, asshole.”
As Tommy dipped his head to touch his lips to Bobby’s, he whispered, “That’s too bad. I think I’m entitled to an apology blowjob now.”
“You probably are, but I’ll have to owe ya one.”
“I’m gonna remember that later,” Tommy said with a laugh before he brushed Bobby’s mouth in a soft kiss. When he pulled back, he caught Bobby’s eye and held it for a long moment.
“Hey,” Bobby whispered. “I love you too, Tom.”
BOBBY DECIDED to go back to the house with Tommy. He said he didn’t want to stay locked up at home because he’d go stir-crazy, but Tommy thought he probably wanted to see the kids. They made it back before Colleen and the others with only minutes to spare.
As they walked up to the front steps, Tommy said, “No screaming, that’s gotta be a good sign, right?”
Bobby laughed and placed a comforting hand on Tommy’s shoulder. “I’m sure they’re just fine, Tom.”
He was right, of course. When they got inside, Judy was sitting on the floor with the twins, who were wide-awake and looking happy. She was singing the “ABC” song to them and using their alphabet puzzle board, showing them each letter as she went. They were captivated. She only nodded to them when they walked in and finished her song before finally looking up with a smile. “You’re supposed to be home resting,” she chided her son as she stood up.
Max got to his feet and stumbled after her with his hands raised, but Zoe made a quick path to Bobby.
“I’m fine, Mom, I promise. I’ll get plenty of rest the next few days.”
Judy looked like she wanted to protest, but changed her mind as she picked up Max and looked at Tommy. “They’ve been changed and I fed them a little snack. They’ve only been up an hour or so.”
“Thanks so much, Mrs.—” When Judy raised her eyebrow at Tommy, he corrected himself. “Judy. Thanks for looking after them.”
She smiled brightly when Tommy said her name. “Anytime, dear.”
Bobby had taken Zoe by the hand and walked over to the couch with her. She climbed into his lap, and they were playing quietly.
Judy went on. “I mean that. I’d love to look after them again if you ever decide to give yourself a break.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
It was a lie, and Judy looked like she knew it. She even rolled her eyes at him exactly as Bobby would have.
Before he could say anything else, the door burst open, and Carrie ran into the house. Davey and Mike were behind her with Colleen and Collin heading up the rear. The last two hadn’t made it in the door before Carrie was talking.
“Tommy, when Colleen picked us up, Davey was in a fight!”
Tommy didn’t need the update, he could see Davey’s black eye before the words were out of her mouth. “What the hell happened?” he asked, forgetting there was anyone else in the house. He stepped over to Davey and tipped his chin up. “Someone socked ya good.”
Davey winced. “Hurts, too.”
“I bet. Spill it,” Tommy insisted.
As Davey was about to spin his tale, Collin came in with Colleen. He took one look at Judy with Max in her arms, glanced around the room to his brothers and sisters, and turned out the door at warp speed.
Colleen called after him, but he didn’t even pause.
“Goddamn it,” Tommy muttered and looked at Judy. “He thinks you’re a social worker.”
THE AIR was still warm, not quite autumn, as Tommy chased after Collin like his life depended on it. He knew his little brother could outrun nearly anyone, and he was no exception. “Collin Joseph O’Shea!” he screamed. “You get your ass over here now!”
Tommy had a stitch in his side, and he had to stop running to catch his breath. He took a few steps and looked around. His brother was nowhere to be seen. In their neighborhood, Collin knew the back alleys and bushes to hide behind like no one else. If he ever wanted to disappear, he wouldn’t have any trouble doing it.
He heard Collin’s voice from somewhere behind him.
“You gotta get back in there and get Max!”
“Jesus,” Tommy muttered, his voice full of desperation and irritation. He thought he knew why Collin ran, and it hurt on too many levels. “That’s Bobby’s mother in there, Collin, now come here!”
He was shouting into the afternoon sun because he still couldn’t see his brother.
Movement caught his eye and Tommy saw Collin duck his head from behind a storage shed in one of the neighbor’s yards. He examined the area like he was waiting for an ambush and then took a tentative step out from his hiding place before coming to Tommy.
Tommy could feel his nostrils flaring. He was angry, and he let it out in his voice as he said, “You think someone’s come to take you away from me and you run?” He was fighting the urge to shake Collin. He got down on one knee in front of him. “You leave your sisters and Max to fend for themselves?” he asked, knowing his eyes had gone dark while looking at Collin. “That ain’t right, Collin. You never turn your back on the family. I thought you were better than that.”
He expected to see Collin look down in shame at his words, but instead his brother lifted his face and met Tommy’s eyes.
“I wouldn’t do that!” he shouted and balled his hands into fists. “I’ve got a plan, Tommy. If they come for us again, I’m gonna run. We’ll need someone on the outside to get ’em all back.”
Collin chewed his lip while he waited for Tommy to say something. Tommy was wrestling with his emotions and wasn’t sure how to respond to any of it. On one hand, he was damned proud of Collin. The kid was a fighter and always had been. He was willing to do anything it took to keep his family together, and he wore his loyalty like a badge of honor. At the same time, though, Tommy hated that they had the kind of life where a ten-year-old felt the need to make that kind of backup plan.
He gathered Collin in his arms and hugged him tightly. “That’s what you’ve got me for, kiddo.” He could feel Collin nod against his shoulder, and he went on. “I’m the one that’ll get you guys back if it ever needs doing, okay?”
When Tommy pulled back, Collin nodded again. “I thought you might need some help, though.”
“I will,” he insisted, pointing his finger at Collin’s chest. “I’ll need you to be with Max and Zoe and look after them. You three are the youngest, and they’d try to keep you guys together, right?” When Collin looked doubtful, Tommy continued. “I got Mike and Davey to look after Carrie and you’re it for Max and Zoe, all right? I got it figured out, okay?”
It was a lie, and Collin probably knew it deep down inside, but Tommy remembered from experience the value of a comforting lie over the harsh truth sometimes. He figured Collin wanted to believe him, so he did.
He hugged Collin one more time before he stood up. “We should get back there before Judy starts cooking again.”
When Collin shot him a q
uestioning look, Tommy said, “You’ll see.”
WHEN THEY got back to the house, Bobby was sitting with Carrie and Max. It sounded like Carrie was telling him about her first day of school. She looked excited, but really, Tommy thought her excitement was over Bobby being there rather than the hospital.
He could hear noise from the kitchen and guessed the rest of the family was in there. Collin broke off from him to visit with Bobby as Tommy continued through the house.
Davey sat at the table holding a bag of frozen peas to his eye while Mike and Colleen munched on carrots from a vegetable tray Judy had brought. Zoe was sitting happily in Judy’s lap while she and Colleen and Mike caught up—they apparently remembered her from when she was their teacher.
Tommy took a seat next to Davey. “Now that I’ve dealt with your brother, you gonna tell me what happened?”
“Some guy jumped me after school, Tommy.”
Tommy was skeptical and his suspicions were justified when Colleen tapped Davey on the back of the head from across the table. “Ow!”
“Now tell him the rest about why some guy randomly decided to jump you.” She looked like she might hit him again for good measure.
Davey slumped down in his chair and looked at Tommy with one eye. “He was some kid’s older brother. He found out I beat his brother at dice every day last week and got his allowance off him.”
“Which kid?” he asked, knowing it wasn’t really the top priority, but he was curious.
“How the hell should I know? I played a lot of kids last week.”
Tommy huffed a frustrated breath and rolled his eyes. “So the brother came to get his money back for him, or did he just take it out of your hide?”
“He wanted the money, but I told him I already spent it.”
“Did you?”
“No. It’s in the emergency fund.”
“So you took a beating rather than just give it back?”
