by Brandon Witt
She looked like she was thinking over his answer, trying to decide if he’d passed the test. Judy stepped closer to him and gave Tommy a kiss on the cheek.
“We take care of our own too, Tommy.” Then she gave the same cheek a light tap and added, “You stubborn jackass.”
The idea of someone like her claiming him and the kids as part of her own made it hard for Tommy to breathe. He figured he and God were even now. Maybe he even owed the guy one or two. “Got it,” he said quietly.
Bobby spoke from behind him. “Good,” he said as he came closer and wrapped his arm around Tommy’s waist.
Tommy had jumped at the sound of his voice. “Jesus, copper. How long have you been standing there?”
“Long enough.” Bobby grinned into a small kiss. When Judy left the kitchen, she was smiling. She was also carrying a plate of cookies with her into the living room.
Tommy watched her go and said, “They’re gonna have to take up jogging and start brushing their teeth three times a day.”
“They’re organic oatmeal cookies made with honey.”
“Practically health food, huh?” Tommy asked. He set his bowl down on the counter. He was still hungry, but he needed Bobby more.
When Tommy wrapped his arms around him, Bobby relaxed against him.
“She’s been known to hide spinach in brownies too,” Bobby said, still talking about the wide array of treats Judy liked to produce. “And that chocolate cake they like so much has avocadoes in it.”
Tommy couldn’t help a snort of laughter at that. “Please make sure I’m in the room if you ever tell Collin that.”
“You have my word.” Bobby kissed him again and then said, “Did I miss anything important?”
“Like what?”
“Like…. Did Mom talk about your options or anything?”
Tommy could feel tension creeping through him like a thorny vine. He reminded himself of his conversation with Judy and said the word trust in his head. “Not yet. I can barely look at all that paperwork from the state before my brain short-circuits.”
He could tell Bobby was about to say something, but Colleen poked her head around the corner. “Family meeting.”
“Options, huh?” Tommy pulled back from Bobby long enough to shovel three big bites of his quickly cooling lunch into his mouth. When he was done, he took Bobby’s hand and pulled him into the living room.
MIKE, JUDY, and Colleen were sitting around the living room. Mike had claimed a chair by the window, and Judy sat on the edge of her coffee table. Colleen had pulled her feet up on the couch and rested her chin on her knees, and Tommy took a seat on the floor near her. Bobby sat down on Tommy’s other side on the couch. “Where’s the kids?” Tommy asked, looking for the rest of the family so they could start.
Judy looked at him and said, “Davey is writing a one-page essay on the importance of grammar.”
The way she said it, Tommy guessed it wasn’t a homework assignment but one she had given him for saying something like “ain’t.”
Judy continued. “Collin and Carrie are in the family room with Max and Zoe.”
She seemed a little more businesslike than usual, but Tommy figured that was reasonable, since they had a lot of things to work out.
“I thought you three, being the oldest, could be in here for now, and when you’ve all had a chance to discuss things, you could talk with the children.”
Tommy looked at Mike when she said that. He was so used to thinking of Mike as one of the kids, he somehow forgot Mike was the same age Tommy had been when he started running things. He’d turned fifteen almost a year ago. It seemed so damn young from the other end. But Judy was right. Mike was old enough now to be in on the big decisions. “So what happens next?” he asked Judy.
“Well…,” she started slowly, as if she were deciding the best way to say everything. “We have a few options, though they’re somewhat limited.”
Tommy didn’t like the sound of that, but he waited for her to go on. Mike and Colleen were silent, and Tommy could feel Bobby’s hand when it landed on his shoulder.
“The first, and, in my opinion, the worst, is looking at this as a temporary placement. Once they find a more permanent arrangement for everyone, the kids would go into the system and be placed with another family. They would likely be split up.”
“That’s off the table,” Tommy said firmly. He didn’t have a clue where they would all go or how they would get there, but if that was all they had, he’d take them on foot and leave in the middle of the night.
Judy surprised him with a laugh. “I know,” she said. “The second, third, and fourth options are entirely up to you.”
Tommy waited and Judy went on to say, “With a few minor modifications to the house, the kids can stay here indefinitely. We’ll need to put up a wall in the family room to make an extra bedroom, but there’s enough space on paper to satisfy the legal requirements. They would still be foster children, but they would be in my care. We would have to go through the motions with the state and have quarterly visits from their social worker. However, they would be receiving food, medical, and a small monthly sum from the state to go toward their care.”
“That doesn’t sound so bad, Tommy,” Mike said from his corner of the room.
Tommy tended to agree, but there had to be a hitch. “But if something happens to you…?”
Judy smiled and nodded her head. “Yes, if something happens to me, then they go back into the system. At that point, Bobby would have to apply for foster certification. He would have the house, so that would be the only real obstacle, but it might take some time and we don’t know if they could continue living here in the interim.” She laughed and added, “On the upside, I’m in excellent health.”
Before Judy could continue, Mike asked, “Wait, what about Tommy? Where’s he gonna be?”
“Don’t worry about me right now,” Tommy answered. “We gotta figure out what’s best for you guys and then I’ll figure out my next move. Gene told me I can stay at his place as long as I need.”
He felt a smack on the back of his head when he said that. He’d expected it from Colleen, but it had been Bobby. “What was that for?” he asked, looking into Bobby’s disgruntled face.
“You’re not staying with Gene. Jesus, Tom.” Bobby crossed his arms over his chest and looked annoyed. “You’ll stay at my place.”
“This is how you ask me to move in with you?” Tommy asked as he rubbed the back of his head.
“Were you expecting moonlight and roses?” Bobby asked, but he was smiling now.
“I was expecting the question to, ya know, be a question. And maybe not come with a concussion.”
Colleen laughed at the two of them. “You’ll last a week before one of you kills the other.”
Bobby grinned and looked at her. “I’m armed.”
Judy cut in then. “So, Tommy’s living arrangements are sorted out.” She looked amused. “Your other two options, as far as the kids go, are slightly more complicated.” Judy looked from Mike to Colleen and finally to Tommy. “I’m sure they told you this morning, but you can petition to get the kids into your care. It is a very long process, but it can be done. And being that you’re their brother, they’ll be slightly more lenient on some of the regulations than they are with strangers.”
“And the last option?” Colleen asked.
“The last option,” Judy repeated. She seemed hesitant. “I petition to adopt the children.”
Tommy bit the inside of his cheek as he tried to decide how he felt about it. He knew Judy wouldn’t have brought it up if there wasn’t a good reason. He kept his tone even as he asked, “Why’s that one on the list?”
“If the kids are adopted, we don’t have the visits from the state,” Judy said plainly.
Tommy couldn’t tell by the way she’d given them the list of choices what she’d prefer.
“And more importantly, if something were to happen to me, it would be up to me where the children went
, not the state. You would be their legal guardian.”
Tommy thought about it for a long minute. “It can’t be that easy.”
“It can be, but first we’d have to find your father and get him to sign over his parental rights,” Judy said. She amended her statement a moment later. “Well, we can petition the courts without that, but if he fought for custody, the children may have to testify against him, and no matter how they feel about him, that would be hard.”
“Yeah, I don’t like the sound of that,” Tommy said darkly.
Mike asked quietly, “Would we get to keep our name?”
“Of course, dear,” Judy answered gently. “The other problem with it is a little more complicated.”
She paused and picked up a cookie off the plate next to her and started to break off a bite. When Tommy looked her in the eye, she said, “The main question is, would they feel like they were gaining something, some greater sense of family through adoption, or would they feel like they’d lost something?”
Tommy sat back and leaned against Bobby’s leg. He ran his hands through his hair and said, “I can’t answer that.”
Judy looked a little sad as she said, “Nor can I. They may not even have their own answer until years later, after it’s too late.”
Colleen let out a bitter laugh. “I can tell ya my answer right now.”
“You’re almost eighteen, Col,” Tommy said, smiling up at her. “I don’t think this one matters as much to you.”
She rolled her eyes and said, “Yeah, well, five years ago if someone had asked me if I wanted to be Pop’s kid or go belong to someone that actually gave a shit about me and would make sure there was food and electricity, I know what I would’ve said.”
Tommy agreed, but he didn’t say anything.
“The important thing right now is to get the paperwork filed on my end, and get the children placed in my care on a more long-term basis,” Judy said. She looked at each of them again. When her eyes landed on Tommy, she said, “The rest, you have plenty of time to think about.” Then she added with a laugh, “If you wait long enough, the children will be grown and you don’t have to decide anything.”
Judy got up from her perch on the coffee table and went into the kitchen. Tommy looked at Mike and then Colleen. “Any thoughts?”
Mike surprised him when he said, “I don’t think right now is the time to make any big decisions.” He paused and looked around the room before meeting Tommy’s eye. “Judy seems happy enough to let us all stay here, we’re together, and we’re safe. That’s always been good enough for us.”
It was true. They’d always been fine as long as they were together. “You’re right,” Tommy said softly. “It’s a lot to think about, so, just speak up if you come up with anything, all right?”
“Will do,” Mike said as he got up. He stopped in front of Tommy and added, “Just let the dust settle first, ya know? Maybe right now is the time to enjoy not living like dogs on the run.”
Tommy smiled up at his brother. It was the first time Mike had said anything to make Tommy think he really was a poet at heart. Maybe Mike was right. Maybe it was time for them to catch their breath and see which way the wind was going to blow.
Colleen stood up and said, “I’m gonna check on the kids.” She patted Tommy’s head as she walked past, watching as Mike left the room. “I agree with him, so don’t bother asking what I think right now.”
Tommy caught her hand and kissed it. “Fair enough.”
When they were alone again, Tommy looked up from his spot on the floor at Bobby. They still had a few things to sort out, and Bobby proved it when he said, “We need to talk.”
Those were possibly the worst words anyone could ever throw at a person, and it was much worse when the phone rang before they could say anything else.
Bobby looked at his cell phone and said, “I gotta take this.” He got up and left the room.
“Christ,” Tommy muttered and dropped his head back against the couch. He knew he should probably get up and do something, but he had no idea what that would be.
Judy came back in and sat down in front of Tommy again. She passed him a cookie but didn’t say anything.
He took a bite and thought cookies weren’t such an evil thing. He asked her, “You sure this is all okay with you?”
She laughed like it was a stupid question, but she answered anyway. “I’m sure, Tommy.”
“We were kinda forced on ya.”
“If I thought I could’ve gotten away with it, I would’ve offered months ago,” she confided. “I’m just sorry the circumstances were so… traumatic.”
“You and me both,” Tommy murmured. He looked at her and smiled. “Bobby said you always wanted a big family.” When Judy nodded, he said, “Guess ya got what ya asked for.”
Her laugh was bright and youthful, full of life. “I certainly did, didn’t I?”
Tommy didn’t get a chance to respond because Bobby was striding over with a serious look on his face. “Tom,” he said. “We found your father.”
BOBBY DROVE while Tommy tried to collect his thoughts. “Tell me again, slowly,” he said. “Because I’m pretty sure I heard you wrong the first time.”
They were headed for a hospital on the other side of town. Bobby laughed before answering. “He checked himself into rehab six weeks ago.”
“See,” Tommy started to explain. “It’s not the rehab that throws me, ’cause he’s been tossed in there more than once. It’s the part where he checked himself in. Are you sure about that?”
“That’s what they said.”
Tommy couldn’t fit that piece of information into his world, so he tried to set it aside. “And he wants to see me?”
Bobby nodded, but he kept his eyes on the road.
The whole situation felt surreal. “Does he know about Cheryl?”
Tommy could hear the catch of Bobby’s breath at the mention of her name. Bobby even mourned for people like Cheryl.
“I have no idea, Tom,” Bobby said quietly. He glanced at Tommy before looking back at the road. “You might have to tell him yourself.” After a long pause, he added in a whisper, “I’m sorry.”
He didn’t know if Bobby was offering condolences or if he was simply sorry because Tommy would have to break the news to Cal. Either way, Tommy didn’t know what to say.
The silence stretched between them for a long moment before Bobby asked, “You okay?”
“I have no idea.” It was the only honest answer he had.
When they pulled up in front of the hospital a few minutes later, Bobby found a parking spot. “You ready for this?”
Tommy let out a sour laugh. “No.” But he got out of the car.
IT TOOK them a few minutes to find the right floor and get checked in as visitors. Bobby said he’d stay in the waiting room and let Tommy have some privacy with his father.
“You sure that’s a good idea?” Tommy’s tone was joking, but he seriously wondered if he should be alone with Cal.
Bobby put his arms over Tommy’s shoulders and kissed him. “I’m sure. There’s a security guard in there.”
Tommy pulled back and turned for the door when the nurse buzzed him through. “Just my luck.”
Cal looked better than Tommy had ever seen him. He was clean, his face was shaved, and he looked like he knew where he was. He had been sitting at a table, but he stood up when he saw Tommy. “Hi, Son.”
For a moment it looked like Cal was going to reach out to shake Tommy’s hand, but he stopped the motion with a jerk and sat back down when Tommy glared at him.
“You’re alive.” It was the only thing that came to mind, so Tommy said it.
Cal knocked his fingers on the table, like he’d found a new nervous habit. “That I am,” he said. “Those words have never been truer.”
Tommy had no response for that, so he asked, “Did you hear about Cheryl?”
Cal looked down at his hands and folded them neatly on the table over a small stack of en
velopes. Tommy didn’t bother to ask what they were about as he waited for an answer. “I did, yeah.” After a pause, Cal added, “I need to make some kind of arrangements, but I’m not really in the right frame of mind for it.”
Tommy could identify, but probably for different reasons. He’d only spared a few minutes to think about Cheryl since it all happened. He knew he needed to do something for her, but he had no idea what. Two years ago, he might have simply walked away from it altogether, but now that it was real and she was gone, Tommy felt like the family should have a memorial for her, bury her, something. She had given them Max and Zoe, and even if that was the only good thing she did with her entire life, it was worth acknowledging.
“We’ll sort it out for her,” Tommy told his father. The words were prickly in his mouth. His father should be the one to do it, to make the effort, and to grieve her death, but just like everything else, Tommy would have to do that for Cal too.
Cal examined his fingertips for a long minute. “Thank you, Son.” He was silent for so long, Tommy thought that might be it. He was considering getting up when Cal spoke again. “I’m still not sure how I feel about… her death. I need to work on that in group a little, I think.”
Tommy resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He hadn’t asked how his father felt, and frankly, at that moment Tommy didn’t give a damn. “You’ve been in here six weeks?” he asked instead.
“Yeah.” Cal nodded and looked Tommy in the eye. “After Christmas, I…. That night, when you found us trying to….”
“Steal from your children?” Tommy provided acidly.
Cal nodded again. “Yes, that.” He could see his father swallow hard, like the memory was painful, but Tommy didn’t want to think about how difficult this was for him. “It was, well, they keep calling it a moment of clarity, and that’s the most accurate way I can describe it.”
“Cheryl said it’d only been a few days since she’d seen you.”
“Well, you know she could… lose track of time.”
“Yeah, meth can do that to a girl.” Maybe he was an asshole for saying that, but Tommy didn’t care.