by Brandon Witt
As Travis was there every day, sometimes twice, he knew there had to be something special about Mr. Walker’s appearance, especially considering the reactions he’d been getting all over town, whether Wendy wanted to admit it or not. “Yep, just unloading some more feed. We’re still good on hay and such. Probably won’t need more until next month.”
Mr. Walker grimaced, a distasteful sound in his voice. “Well, we made it longer with what we harvested than I thought we would, truth be told. I’m gonna have to get me a new farmhand if Dana Jenkins can’t do better than this next year.”
“Dana’s a good guy, Mr. Walker. I’d say he’s the reason we’ve been able to last as long as we have. We didn’t get half the rain last season we normally got.”
Mr. Walker’s eyes narrowed, and he leaned forward, such a small amount it was barely perceptible. Travis could feel it more than see it. “You don’t need to tell me about how much hay we should or shouldn’t be able to pull in during drought years. I’ve been doing this longer than you’ve been alive, boy.”
Travis started to reply, but Mr. Walker kept going.
“It’s actually why I came down here, Bennett. I gotta question for ya. There’s been some talk over town, and you know I don’t put no never mind to gossip, so I thought I’d just come down here an’ ask.”
Gruff though he was, Travis had always liked Mr. Walker’s bluntness. The world would be an easier place if everyone played by Mr. Walker’s directness. Or at least, that’s what Travis had always felt. Mr. Walker’s next words made Travis question that notion.
“Talk is that you and that new vet fella have been—” Mr. Walker uncharacteristically faltered for words. “—have been havin’ relations.”
Travis tried to keep any expression from crossing his face. He wasn’t sure if he succeeded or not.
“Well?” Mr. Walker raised gnarled fingers and scratched his nearly translucent hair.
“Dr. Ryan is my….” Travis cleared his throat. He thought he was going to be able to come out and say it. He thought he could be as blunt and direct as Mr. Walker himself.
Apparently not.
And what was he supposed to say? His boyfriend? He was forty-two years old. He wasn’t supposed to have a boyfriend or girlfriend or anybody.
Travis looked away from his employer. “I actually don’t see how that is any business of yours, Mr. Walker.”
God, that didn’t feel good.
“Don’t pull the political correct bullshit on me, Travis Bennett.” Mr. Walker thumped his fist against the open tailgate of the F-350. “I asked you a simple question, man to man.”
Dunkyn let out a warning growl at the clang of the fist against the truck.
Travis looked down at the dog. Even Dunkyn was showing more guts than himself.
He looked back up, meeting the older man full in the face. “Wesley Ryan and I are together, Mr. Walker. Is that a problem?”
To his relief, Mr. Walker didn’t push for more details on what it meant to be “together.” Though his eyes did widen in surprise.
Travis wasn’t sure if the man was taken aback that the rumors were true or that Travis didn’t deny them.
Nearly a full minute passed before Mr. Walker spoke again, his tone uncharacteristically cautious. “Well, now. I can’t really say. It might be a problem.”
Anger and loss raged simultaneously. Every bit of him wanted to tell the man to fuck off, but the thought of losing his right to care for the buffalo and have access to Mr. Walker’s farm was painful. It would be one more way he’d lose Shannon.
Travis stuffed his fists into the pockets of his jeans, willing them to stay where they were and for his mouth to keep shut while he was at it. If Mr. Walker started spouting about religion and God, Travis was going to lose his cool. He and the older man had done more than their fair share of knocking all the shit that went on at the churches throughout town. If he dared to pull the God card….
“You see, Travis, this job, taking care of buffalo and the farm, taking care of the barn, being trustworthy enough to respect the land and care for it, well, that’s a man’s job. It seems like you may not be up to the task.”
Knuckles cracked as Travis clinched his concealed fists tighter. His words were surprisingly clear through his gritted teeth. “Mr. Walker, I’ve done this job for nearly two decades. If I wasn’t man enough to take care of it, you’d have figured it out by now.” Shut up. He should shut up. “Unless you’re dumber than I thought you were.”
Mr. Walker’s milky eyes flashed. “You best watch how you’re speaking to me, boy.”
Travis stood straight, making him realize how he’d begun to slump. “You’re the one calling my manhood into question, Emmitt. It occurs you may wanna watch how you speak to me.”
“You’re the one changing, Travis. Not me.”
“Nope. Same man I always was.”
Mr. Walker shook his head. “Nah. You’re not. Not if you—”
Travis took a step closer, shoving his fists even deeper, thankful he hadn’t popped open either of the beers on the floorboard of his truck. “Who I’m fucking has nothing to do with how much of a man I am, or affect how I care for your animals.”
Mr. Walker flinched at Travis’s crassness, as if he hadn’t said fuck half a million times over their years together.
Travis suddenly found he didn’t give a shit what anyone thought. He’d believed that was true, but as the sensation of freedom washed over him he realized it hadn’t actually been. It was now.
“I love this job, Mr. Walker. And I’m damned good at it. You know as well as I do, you’d be costing yourself a whole lot of time and effort to train someone else to take care of everything around here. And you also know they wouldn’t do as good of a job as I do.”
To his credit, Mr. Walker hadn’t stepped back against Travis invading his space or in the face of Travis’s visible anger. Or maybe he really was dumber than Travis thought.
At last he gave a curt nod toward Travis. “Fine. I’ll keep you on.”
Travis started to speak, but was cut off.
“For a trial basis.”
Travis guffawed. “A trial basis? Are you fucking kidding me? I’ve done this job for twenty years.”
Mr. Walker stood taller, at least as much as his bent spine would allow. “You tell me you haven’t changed. I wanna see that. Take it or leave it.”
Travis wanted to show Emmitt Walker exactly where he could shove this job. He didn’t need the money. Not a bit of it. This was all because he loved the work and loved the farm, which was the problem, wasn’t it?
A movement behind Mr. Walker caught Travis’s attention. At some point, Jarrod had wandered back out from the trees and was staring at the scene. He met Travis’s gaze.
It wasn’t about the money. It hadn’t been for nearly fifteen years. He’d do the job for free, just to stay with the buffalo and to keep that tenuous connection to Shannon.
Another moment of eye contact with Jarrod, and Travis looked back to the old man in front of him.
Travis nodded.
Chapter Twenty-Four
“I’D HAVE at least four years of undergrad and then four years of vet school? That means….” Caleb did some quick finger calculations. “The soonest I’d be done would be when I’m twenty-six!”
Wesley glanced away from the X-rays he was inspecting. “Plus, you’d typically need two to five years of internships or residencies. And, it can take a bit to get accepted into a college of veterinary medicine. I didn’t graduate until I was thirty-one, because it took me a while to get accepted into the University of Missouri. And then I still had a couple years of residency at the zoo.” He didn’t want to discourage Caleb, but neither did he want to gloss over the experience. With how he’d left things with Travis that morning, Wesley had been surprised when Wendy had dropped Caleb off at the clinic after school as they’d planned so he could shadow for the afternoon.
“Good God! You didn’t even get started until you we
re thirty-three. All that work and you’re already close to retiring.”
Wesley let out a burst of laughter. “Not hardly!” He decided not to mention the two years spent floundering between graduation and taking over the clinic. He didn’t really get started until just a few months ago at thirty-five. Pathetic.
Caleb fiddled with a pair of forceps. “Maybe I should just start out as a field hand and work until I can own my own ranch or something one day. Dad doesn’t have a degree like that. He just got some normal four-year thing, and he’s fine. He wouldn’t really even need that to own the feedstore.”
“True. You have to really want to be a veterinarian if you’re willing to put in all the effort that’s required, but there are other ways to work with animals.” Wesley pointed to the backlit X-rays. “See that fuzzy line there?”
Caleb closed the distance between them and stood behind Wesley’s shoulder. “Yeah. That means it’s broken.”
“Just a fracture, actually.” Wesley spoke to Caleb but continued to inspect the X-ray, more for the boy’s comfort rather than any need to attain more information. “You did a really good job with that dog, getting him calmed down and soothing him as I took his X-rays. You’re a natural.”
There was no false modesty, nor any boasting. “Yeah. I’ve worked with animals my whole life. Same with Mom and Dad. It would be weird if I weren’t a natural.”
“Well, don’t let the amount of school throw you off if you decide you want to be a vet. If it’s something you want to do, it’s worth it.”
Caleb was silent for a little too long, causing Wesley to unclip the X-ray and look back at the boy. “I would be more than happy to help you search for scholarships and such when the time comes, if you’d like.”
Confusion passed over Caleb’s face but quickly faded. “Oh, no. That’s not too big a concern. I just, well, I’m not sure if I want to do college at all.”
“What? Not do college? Why?”
He shrugged, then glanced to the door as if expecting someone to come in. He looked back at Wesley, his expression serious. “I know you’re dating my dad and all, but are you okay just keeping this between us?”
A momentary shot of panic flashed through Wesley. He didn’t even know if he and Travis were still dating. Travis hadn’t texted or called since Wesley had asked him to leave that morning.
Not all about you. He brought his focus back on Caleb. “Um, yeah, it can stay between us. I mean, as long as it’s not something unsafe your dad needs to know or something.”
It seemed Caleb wasn’t concerned about that possibility. “It’s just that college takes a long time. Just the normal college is four years, and that’s not even if I do the vet thing. That means I wouldn’t be home for that long. Maybe summers and some long weekends or something, but that’s different than actually being at home.”
Wesley waited for the problem, but it looked like Caleb was done speaking. “So…. You’re not wanting to leave home?” The thought made no sense. Wesley had loved his family, but leaving for college had been one of the best days of his life. Freedom!
Caleb looked away and began to slowly pace around the room, a finger tracing over counters and examination equipment as he moved. “The twins will be nine when I graduate high school, and that would mean they’ll be thirteen by the time I returned. And if I did the vet thing, I wouldn’t be back until it was time for them to graduate high school.”
“Well, like you said, you would still come back during summers, and I’m sure your dad and Wendy would bring them to see you wherever you chose to go to college.”
The frustrated expression on Caleb’s face left no doubt that Wesley wasn’t even close to understanding. He stopped pacing and looked Wesley straight in the face. “Avery and Mason need me. Wendy and I are like a mom to them, and sometimes like a dad too. I won’t abandon them.”
Wesley stared at the boy. He knew he shouldn’t, but he couldn’t help it. He’d heard Travis’s guilt over his absence in his children’s lives that first year after Shannon died, but it was different seeing the evidence of it from his kid. Although, Wesley corrected himself, Caleb wasn’t really a kid or a boy. He might look like one, but he’d grown up a long time ago, taking on a role too large for his still-narrow shoulders. Wesley spoke before he paused to think. “You’re really something.”
Caleb looked nervous. “What do you mean?”
Wesley searched for words—adult words, therapist words, father-like words.
He gave up. “You’re just kinda freaking cool. You stand up to some bully at school, defending your dad about dating me, and you’re afraid to go to college because you don’t want to leave your brother and sister alone.”
A blush crept over Caleb’s cheeks, making them nearly match his hair.
“No, Caleb, I mean it. When I grow up, I wanna be like you. Dang. You’re awesome.”
And the hue of Caleb’s cheeks surpassed his hair after all.
“No wonder your dad is proud of you.”
Caleb looked up and locked his gaze onto Wesley, suddenly looking like a starved man seeing a feast. “He told you that?”
“Yeah. Of course he has.” Maybe Travis was different with his kids than Wesley thought he was. “Hasn’t he told you he’s proud of you?”
Caleb shrugged. “Yeah, but dads are supposed to say that.”
Wesley smiled, trying to infuse it with as much reassurance as he could. “Well, he’s not just saying it. He’s crazy proud of you.”
Wesley was fairly certain he saw Caleb begin to tear up, so he turned away, unconvincingly distracted by a set of retractor tools. He busied himself with straightening up the counter, organizing the disposable materials by the sink in an effort to give Caleb space.
Maybe he’d been too hard on Travis. Maybe he’d been selfish.
It wasn’t just about the two of them. There were three kids to think about, two of them young and one of them already sacrificing so much. If butching it up would make it easier for Travis’s kids, then it was a pretty small request.
“Wesley?”
Wesley jumped slightly, startled out of his thoughts, and looked back over at Caleb, who, though flushed, looked under control. “Yeah, Caleb?”
“Are you and Dad breaking up?”
Wesley flinched. Were they? “Why do you ask?”
“I dunno. He seemed different before I left for school this morning.” Caleb waved a hand in midair, searching. “He seemed sad. Like he used to be all the time.”
It really wasn’t just about the two of them. While the thought added another level to his stress around his and Travis’s relationship, Wesley was pleasantly surprised at the surge of protection that swept through him as he looked at Caleb. He wasn’t sure how to answer him, though, so he asked what he’d been wondering for weeks. What he probably wouldn’t have gotten the nerve to ask before this moment. “How do you feel about your dad and I dating?”
Caleb looked up at him, his blue eyes wide, and then he glanced quickly away. “I dunno. It’s kinda strange, I guess.”
God, he didn’t want to ask this. Regardless of anything beyond the other issues he and Travis had to face, Caleb being okay with their relationship was going to be vital. He was more certain of it than ever. And while Caleb seemed to have defended them at school, it could have been nothing more than a boy taking up for his dad and might not imply he was okay with the whole gay thing at all. “Strange as in bad?”
Another shrug. “It kinda freaked me out, honestly. For a bit.”
For a bit. That was encouraging. Wesley paused, hoping Caleb would keep going.
He did.
“I just didn’t think about Dad being gay. I mean, I’d kinda thought about it. I guess it sorta crossed my mind when I saw you two together. There seemed to be something, but….”
Wesley tried to smile but was too nervous to be certain he’d actually pulled it off. “You’ve been nothing but kind to me since we’ve been together more. You and the twins. You’v
e all been supersweet.”
Dear God. Supersweet. It was no wonder Travis wanted him to butch it up.
Caleb shrugged a third time, his shoulders seemingly the only part of his body still working. “Well, Wendy loves you. She’d been raving about you way before Dad. And, now Dad is… happy, I guess. At least more than I’ve seen him since I was little. Even the house feels better, you know? Less… depressed, maybe?”
All good signs, but not actually coming out and saying he was okay with it. Wesley really needed Caleb’s approval. For a factor he hadn’t seen affecting him directly, outside of the stress it caused Travis, it was suddenly vitally important what Caleb thought of him. “Would you rather I not spend time with your dad and your family?”
The question felt weird once the words were out of his mouth. At once inappropriate, giving a child that type of power, and also rather pathetic, like Wesley was begging a fourteen-year-old to like him.
Caleb cocked his head skeptically, suddenly making him look more the teenager he was. “If I said I wasn’t okay with it, would you stop dating Dad?”
Well, he’d asked, hadn’t he? Why would he have asked what the kid wanted if he hadn’t planned on adjusting what he did based on the response?
Would he stop seeing Travis if Caleb didn’t approve?
So much for the afternoon being about Caleb shadowing him and helping Caleb decide if he was interested in the veterinary field. For a man who was realizing his relationship was so much more than just about him and Travis, he was sure making it all about him.
The two eyed each other. Not in hostility, just with an inspecting curiosity.
In addition to gaining even more respect for Caleb Bennett as more than just Travis’s son, Wesley realized the boy truly was pivotal. There were no guarantees things would work between him and Travis, even if Caleb loved the idea of his dad having a boyfriend. However, their relationship was doomed if Caleb was against it. No doubt. And maybe rightly so—Wesley wasn’t sure. Not that it mattered at the moment—things with Travis were what they were, and Wesley wasn’t at all sure what that was.
