I stared at him, clutching my mask to my stomach as if it were the only thing holding me upright. “But you’re not like that. I know you. What about the Rick I met? Was he just an act?”
He turned back to me, his face tight and angry, but he spoke in a voice that I knew completely as Rick’s. “You know what your problem is, Javier? You see things in black-and-white. You can’t imagine that someone might have more than one side to their personality. That a person can do bad things and still be a good person, or vice versa. You know, that’s what I can’t stand about you.”
“Shut up!” I snapped. “I’m not that stupid, and you know it.”
He crossed his arms and tilted his head back and to the side. “Obviously I don’t know anything about you either, ‘Blue Spark.’”
“If you’re not brainwashed,” I said slowly, trying to stay calm like Chelsea had said, “then why not let them check you out, just to make sure?”
Jimmy laughed, a proper, evil guffaw. “Like I’d fall for that. I’m not letting them rummage around inside my head.”
“Someone’s already rummaged around inside your head!” I shouted. “It’s that Hound, that awful old lady!”
His eyes went dark again. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I don’t know any old lady.”
“You’re lying,” I said calmly. “I can tell. You know who I’m talking about.”
I was leaning too close to the electric bars. I could feel it sizzling on my skin. Rick—or Jimmy, I didn’t know anymore—turned away. “You’re wasting your time. I’m not letting them get into my head. And they can torture me all they want, but I don’t know anything. You might as well tell my mother I’m dead.”
“I’m going to tell her that you’re okay. That you’re safe.”
“Yeah, you go ahead and do that. You’re obviously a brilliant liar.”
I wanted to leave then, to storm off in a huff. But I couldn’t. “Rick,” I said again, softly this time. “Please, I don’t want to fight you. I’m sorry I did. I just . . . I want things to be like they were.”
He didn’t say anything. He was facing away from me, his arms crossed.
“I wish things were simple,” I said. “I wish that neither of us were the way we are.” I straightened up. “But we are. And we can still make things work. Please, Rick. Just let them remove the brainwashing.”
It was like he couldn’t even hear me.
“Rick,” I said again. “Please.”
“My name’s Jimmy Black.” His voice was hoarse. “Rick died in that car crash. Leave me alone, Javier. For your own good.”
I left without talking to Chelsea. I knew she’d probably want me to talk about my feelings, and explain everything, but I couldn’t. There was really nowhere that I wanted to go, though—nowhere that would feel safe, or would make me feel better for just a second. Except I wanted to go back down into that basement and into that cell with Rick. I wanted to rip the mask off, and make him look at me and tell me to my face that the person I’d met, and kissed, and let hold me wasn’t real. Because I didn’t believe it.
After I changed into my street clothes, I went walking. I walked for hours, from one end of town to the other, without realizing where I was going. Eventually I ended up on the south side of town, at the electrical plant where I’d gotten my powers in the first place. I hadn’t been back since, purposely taking other routes home from school. Ones where there were more people around so I didn’t have to worry about being attacked by bullies from school. Even though I didn’t have to worry about that now.
It was easy enough to find the spot on the fence where I’d climbed up to reach the wire that my shoes had swung from. I was still wearing the shoes, although they’d gotten pretty ratty in the last year. At least now I had a job and could afford to buy some new ones. I probably should. I scuffed my foot against the spot on the worn concrete where I’d fallen, and sat next to the fence, leaned my head back on it, and looked up at the sky.
I wasn’t going to give up on Rick.
No matter what happened. I just wasn’t. Not until I was absolutely sure there was no hope left for him. And maybe it was stupid, and it would be better for me to make a clean break. But I wanted to help him. I wanted to save him. Otherwise what kind of hero would I be?
When I pulled out my phone, it was full to the brim with worried texts from Kendall, and realized that it was nearly four o’clock. I booked it home, rushed up the stairs, and burst into the house, relieved to find that neither of my parents were home. The answering machine was beeping, and I listened to and deleted the message from the school about my absence, and then went and flopped down on the bed.
Rick’s parents were worried about him. I had to call them, let them know that he was okay. Or at least not dead.
I waited until I had my breath back and then dialed Rick’s number. It rang once and then a man picked up. “Hello?”
“Hi,” I said. “Mr. Rykov? This is, uh, Javier. Rick’s friend. I’m calling to tell you that I talked to Rick today.”
There was silence for a few seconds. Then the man said, “I see. Where is he?”
“I don’t know,” I lied. “But he wanted me to tell you that he’s okay.”
“Is there a reason he couldn’t talk to us?”
“I don’t know,” I said again. “I just wanted to let you know that he’s, you know, okay.”
Another long silence. Then, “Javier, is it? If I find that you’re somehow involved with what’s happened to Rick, I guarantee you I will not be allowing him to see you ever again, and we will be pursuing legal action if necessary.”
“Oh,” I said, because I really didn’t have anything to say to that. I mean, I guess the guy was pretty worried about Rick, but jeez. “Wow. Okay. Well, I’ll let you know if I find out anything else.” I hung up and took a deep breath, thinking that maybe Rick’s home life wasn’t quite as picturesque as I had imagined it. I wondered again if his parents even knew he was gay, and why I’d never asked him.
Then my dad got home, and it turned out that the school had called him at work too to let him know that I’d skipped, so that was just a fantastic cap to an already stellar day. At least he couldn’t ground me, because that would mean me missing work, and I knew that they kind of relied on my income a little bit.
I made sure to go to school the next day though, although I spent most of my two classes with Kendall explaining everything to her, so I’m not sure how much I learned. And then after school I got a call from Captain Justice asking me to come into the headquarters to discuss “something important” with him.
When I got there, my favorite person ever, the Wolfhound, was lounging all casually on one of Captain Justice’s couches, his legs spread so wide that no one else could fit on the couch with him. The Raven was there too, and a couple of other Senior Heroes. Captain Justice was behind his desk, and he gestured me to sit when I arrived. The Raven discreetly patted the couch next to her.
“There’s been a new development,” he said, once I’d sat down. “The Organization has offered a prisoner exchange.”
“What?” I had a weird feeling in my legs, like they were going numb. I swallowed. “How many prisoners do we have?”
“Just the one, currently,” said Captain Justice. “Jimmy Black.”
Pins and needles erupted in my legs, but I tried to stay calm. “Who do they want to trade him for?”
“They’ve offered us Lady Firebolt,” said Captain Justice, “Do you remember her? She was captured by the Organization ten years ago, along with her seven-year-old son, and also Sala, a Kanaan who was captured by them the spring before last.”
“Three people,” said the Raven. “For one of theirs. Why do they want him so badly?”
“I’ll admit I don’t know,” said Captain Justice. “But I’m considering the offer very seriously, regardless of that.”
I sat still. I didn’t know what to say. Part of me wanted to jump up and yell, You can’t! You can’t send him b
ack to them, they’ll brainwash him again, even worse, and I’ll never get him back! But I knew, I knew how selfish that was.
“I don’t think you should do it,” said the Wolfhound. “That boy down there must be worth a lot to them if they’re willing to trade in prisoners. That means he’s worth a lot to us too.”
“But Firebolt,” said Lady Deathquake, a note of pleading in her voice. “Her son.”
“All I’m saying is it doesn’t make political sense,” said the Wolfhound. “Not that any of you’ll listen to me.”
Captain Justice regarded him seriously. “We’ll have to put it to a vote.”
The Wolfhound threw his hands up. “A goddamn vote. You might as well not bother, we know what the outcome’ll be. People don’t know what’s good for ’em.”
The Raven scoffed. “Oh, you were all for the vote when it was for something you wanted.”
“So what do we do,” said Captain Justice. “The only humane option I can see is to exchange Jimmy Black for the prisoners.”
“But he’s a prisoner too,” I said quietly. “He’s brainwashed.”
“It’s three lives for one.” The Raven put a hand on my shoulder.
“We won’t give up on him,” said Captain Justice. “I promise. And we will stop the Hound.”
I didn’t go to the prisoner exchange. I mean, I guess I should have, but I just . . . I really didn’t want to. I was afraid I’d do something stupid like try to stop them. And I didn’t want to see the prisoners either. I didn’t imagine they’d be in very good shape. Luckily Captain Justice didn’t ask me to come, so I spent the night with my parents instead, watching some old Western movies.
There was a sort of tension between us now, even when we were relaxing together, that I hated. They knew that something was going on with me, and that I didn’t want to tell them. The thing was though, I did want to tell them. I wanted to tell them everything. But I didn’t even know where to begin anymore. I’d lied to them so much, it felt like I’d dug myself down into a deep hole. Telling them the truth would mean confessing to all the lies I’d told them, and I didn’t want to hurt them that way. So I just stayed quiet and leaned on my mom’s shoulder while we watched the movie and ate popcorn.
Rick was in school the next day. Of course. Any lingering doubt, or hope, that I’d had was finally dispelled. I could see Jimmy Black in him, even more than I had before, in the way he moved, and the tight way he held his jaw. Part of me wanted to kiss him, and relieve all that tension in him. But part of me also wanted to punch him in the face, and hurt him for all the hurt he’d done to me.
Unfortunately, I didn’t get to do either, because he ignored me all day.
“I could go over there and give him a piece of your mind,” suggested Kendall as I stared at him across the lunchroom. He was sitting with his football friends, eating, and looking sort of vaguely down and lost. “He deserves it.”
“He doesn’t deserve it.” I shook my head. “But I am gonna talk to him.”
I waited until lunch was over, and intercepted him on the way to his locker. He met my eyes for a second, and then tried to swipe past me, but I moved to block him. I must have looked pretty angry, because one of his friends whistled, and they all sort of backed away, leaving us alone together.
“I just want to know if you’re okay.” I took a step closer so that we could talk privately.
“I’m fine.” He tried to shove past me again. I stopped him, and he glared at me. “Why are you talking to me?”
I raised an eyebrow. “Why wouldn’t I be talking to you? I said I want to know if you’re okay.”
Rick seemed annoyed. “Of course I’m okay. We broke up, it’s not the end of the world.”
My heart skipped a beat. “I . . . didn’t realize we broke up.”
For a moment, he looked lost. “Yeah, I’m pretty sure we did.”
I caught the confusion in his face, and suddenly realized what was going on. “Rick, do you . . . do you remember anything that happened?”
“Sure. There was, uh . . .” He blinked a couple of times. “An accident, and you got mad at me, and we broke up. It’s fine, it’s over.”
“That’s not what happened.”
“Look, I don’t wanna do this.” He put his full weight into barreling past me, nearly knocking me off my feet. “I gotta get to class. Leave me alone.”
I didn’t leave him alone, obviously. After school I caught him again, this time as he was getting into his SUV. I jumped into the passenger side and shut the door. He gave me an affronted look.
“We need to talk about this,” I said. “What do you remember? What did the Organization do to you?”
“They didn’t do anything to me.” He was obviously hopelessly confused, and I really, really wanted to help him.
“Rick, you turned yourself in to the League. Do you remember that?” He was just staring at me, so I continued. “And then the Organization offered a trade so that the League would give you back. And now all you remember is that there was an ‘accident’? They did something to you!”
“Well, yeah.” Rick waved his arms. “I was a prisoner. It wasn’t exactly fun. Why would I want to remember it?”
“Because!” I was almost shouting now. “You turned yourself in! After you realized who I was! You were fighting it; you knew what you were doing was wrong.”
Rick’s jaw was in a tight line, and his eyes were wide and dark. “Shut up.”
“You’re not a bad person, Rick! I know it!”
“Shut up!” He looked like he was about to lunge at me, and for a minute, I was terrified that he was going to put his hands around my throat and choke me again. “Get out of my car.”
I fumbled for the handle and all but fell out of the SUV, sprinting back toward the school with pinpricks in my eyes and blurry vision.
After that, there was really nothing I could do. Rick did his best to avoid me, and I didn’t see hide nor hair of Jimmy Black, not for a couple of weeks. The League and the Organization seemed to have come to an uneasy truce. Or at least a stalemate. Chelsea was busy helping the released prisoners recuperate. Their return was being celebrated, but Captain Justice said that it would probably be several months before they were ready to see anyone. I couldn’t imagine how badly the Organization must have messed them up, and every time I thought about it, I got a sickness in the pit of my stomach, thinking about Rick.
I wished I could talk to him, find out the origin of his association with the Organization, so that maybe I could get to the root of it and help him that way. Had he had his abilities before they got to him? Or had they done something to him? Rick had never mentioned anything that might hint at the truth.
Except the car crash.
So that was how I found myself sneaking into the school office late one night, and using my admittedly less-than-stellar hacking skills to get onto one of the computers and search for all the students in the system named “Vanessa.”
It hadn’t been my first choice, obviously. First I’d looked through all the internet and newspaper records, to try to find any information about the car crash. I looked through Rick’s Facebook, all his friends. No one named Vanessa, although there was a Josh. The account had been locked, due to the fact that the individual was now deceased. Creepy how Facebook did that.
I’d finally found a picture in Josh’s photo archives. A blurry photo that looked like it was taken at a campsite. Josh, a jock with blond hair; Rick, looking cheerful and a bit skinnier; and a pretty girl with short red hair. Vanessa, maybe? The image of her wasn’t tagged. The other two were though, so it almost made me think that everything about her had been deleted, including the news reports about the car crash. By the Organization, maybe?
So yeah, the only other source I had been able to think of was to look in the school’s computer files—even though I couldn’t be sure they hadn’t been erased too—but it wasn’t like I could have been able to get onto an office computer during the day. I’d asked the Rave
n to show me how to hack into and turn off a building’s security like she had for the Organization building, and then I’d gone in by, um, breaking one of the door locks. Accidentally, of course.
Like I said, I was definitely not a fantastic hacker, but I was able to bypass the computer’s login system pretty easy, and it wasn’t as if the school records were kept super secure. I just found all the people in eleventh grade a year ago, and pulled up the 1,731,748,961 Vanessas until I found one with a photo of a girl with short red hair.
Yeah, I probably could have made that sound a lot harder and cooler than it was. I hacked into the school’s top-secret database, and retrieved covert information with my super rad hacker skillz. Also I wore sunglasses. At night.
Let’s move on.
So then on Saturday, I went to Liberty Fields, which sounded like a funeral home to me, but whatever. It was a big redbrick building with a pristine park next to it, and little white-framed windows. It didn’t look creepy, really, unless you knew the building’s history. Which, unfortunately, I did. Pretty sure Liberty City’s school board got a commendation for its history program. And for scarring its students, probably. Anyway, I went in through the glass doors (complete with fancy locking mechanisms that you needed to press a special button to open) and asked if I could see Vanessa Larsen. They seemed surprised, and asked how I knew her, so I explained that I was a friend from school.
“All right,” said the nurse, and she led me down the hallway.
The place was like . . . completely unscary, but also totally uncomfortable to be in. You know how rest homes are. Except that most of the people here weren’t super old. I hunched a little, and felt guilty for hoping that none of them talked to me.
“Now, Vanessa has to be pretty heavily sedated most of the time,” the nurse explained. “So she may not recognize you, and she doesn’t talk much. You’ll have to keep up most of the conversation on your end.”
“Okay.” I was feeling more and more like this was going to be a dead end. Should I really be coming here and upsetting an obviously mentally unwell girl by asking her about a traumatizing event in her past? I decided that if she got upset at all, I would leave right away. Possibly through a window. Because that wouldn’t be traumatizing at all.
Junior Hero Blues Page 11
