by P. Jameson
“I swear, one of these days I’m going to kick his ass for insubordination,” Cael muttered.
Lexar rubbed his palms together, nervous but probably trying not to show it. He glanced at her, and then at Cael, his eyes full of colliding emotions. When this was over, she was going to teach him a little lesson. They needed to straighten some things out. Avan style.
But for now…
She squeezed her hands into fists to cover up the way they shook. She lifted her chin, pulling courage from a reserve within herself. She could handle this. She was strong in spirit. With Cael’s help, she could be strong in body too.
Cael cleared his throat, looking expectantly at Lexar.
“Yeah…” Lexar jerked his chin. “I’m ah… going.”
Avan’s wounded wolf tried to protest. Lexar should stay. He was the one who’d taken care of her all this time. She… well, she didn’t need him really. Not exactly. Need wasn’t the right word for it. But the thought of doing this without him felt… wrong. All wrong.
His brows furrowed, his troubled expression mirroring how she felt. But then he trudged to the door, damn near yanking the thing off the hinges in his effort to open it.
No, no, no. He had to stay. Something deep inside sent out a warning. She needed Lexar here with her. She’d never ignored her instinct before and she wouldn’t start now.
“Wait!”
He spun around so fast she didn’t have time to school her expression. But maybe she could pass the bewildered look off as a fault of her injury.
“Yes?”
“You stay.” She pushed away the rattled feeling, and focused on the command. He had to obey. He had to.
Lexar’s eyebrows raised in surprise. “Yes, ma’am. Sure.”
He closed the door and came to stand next to her bed. That was when she noticed Cael frowning. Sure, he’d told Lexar to leave but… well, this was her house. She was the boss.
Avan braced herself on the edge of the bed. Cael squeezed Besh’s hand and then approached. He towered over her.
Fuck that.
Avan tried to stand, but the pain in her side was too much. Lexar discreetly held out his hand to help, and she took it, placing her fingers in his waiting palm. His hand was so warm. Or her fingers were too cold. Or maybe it was the combination of both.
She got to her feet, forcing herself to make eye contact with her intended. But when Lexar tried to pull his hand away, she couldn’t let go.
Well, shit.
She curled her fingers tighter around his.
Shit.
Cael’s jaw was clenched tight as he reached out to touch the first of her wounds, the ones on her head. His touch was like a zap of lightning, and not at all pleasant. She flinched and decided she hated herself a little.
She cleared her throat steeling herself for more. He tried softer this time, but there was still that zing.
“Fuck. Is that normal?”
“How the hell am I supposed to know,” he muttered. “Be still.”
She stiffened every muscle this time, determined to not flinch from his touch. She recalled a trick her mother had taught her from childhood.
“Try not to think about it,” Mama said.
The scrape on Avan’s knee was bad, and bleeding, but it would heal in a few minute’s time. Knowing that didn’t keep her from crying though. She’d worked herself up good by the time Mama found her.
“How do I do that?” she cried in desperation.
“Easy,” Mama said. “Just try to think about…”
Avan took a deep breath, closing her eyes to the alpha before her. “Elvis. Memphis. Oprah in the afternoon.”
Cael paused his soft touch on her face.
“Keep going,” she snapped. “Palm trees. Fig leaves. The creature from the black lagoon.”
***
Avan was singing. And she was a country music fan. This song was boot scootin’ to the millionth power.
As bad as that was, it was the least of his worries. At the top of the list was the fact that he wanted to rip his alpha’s fucking head off. The way he was touching her… caressing her…
His wolf snarled a warning, aching to break free and fight to the death over her. Holy shit, this was bad. He hadn’t been this jealous over Tandy. He’d wanted to claim her, sure. But he’d never had the territorial reaction he was having now, in this moment.
While Avan continued to sing that ridiculous song, he watched Cael’s fingers as they moved over her cheeks, brushing every scratch and bruise on the way. Over and over and over until they began to disappear.
Fuck. What was he going to do when Cael got to her belly? Or what about her legs? He didn’t want him touching Avan everywhere, damn it.
He jerked his eyes away from the scene, afraid that if he didn’t, he’d do something rash. His gaze caught on Besh. Her jaw was set, and she clenched and unclenched her small fists. Her eyes fluttered away and back, not knowing where to land. They caught his, and he could see the hurt there. This stress couldn’t be good for her pregnancy. The young growing inside her would feel everything through their bond.
“Shakespeare. Leap year…. ” Avan’s strained melody brought his attention back to her.
Cael’s hands were around the thin column of her neck now, softly sweeping back and forth. Lexar glared at him, breath rushing out with his anger, but the alpha didn’t notice. His expression was a look of pure concentration. In fact, he was starting to sweat.
Avan sang louder, the lower Cael’s hands traveled. But there was something else. She stood taller. Stronger. She was getting well. The bastard was mending what was broken and the result was the return of the brave, beautiful, alpha female Lex had come to know.
He could do this. He could keep his wolf in check just a little while longer.
She squeezed his hand tight. Whether she meant anything by it or not, it rooted him to his spot on the floor. Reminded him why he was here. That his purpose was to help her, not focus on his emotions and how utterly fucked they were because of her.
He was fine. He was making it. He was damn proud of himself too.
But then Cael’s palm brushed down her flat stomach and beneath her shirt.
Besh spun around, facing the door, her shoulders heaving.
Cael looked like he was in pain. Physical pain, and yeah, it gave Lexar a little bit of joy. He’d be in a shit-ton more when this was over.
Avan suddenly stopped singing. A strangled sound came from her throat, and Lexar thought he’d split apart from the inside out. If Cael didn’t get his motherfucking hands out of her shirt…
Mine. Mine, mine, mine.
Oh shit, oh shit. His wolf was coming out whether he wanted it to or not.
He tried to pull his hand away, but Avan wouldn’t let him. She gasped for breath, her song completely forgotten, but all Lexar could see was his alpha’s hand touching what was his.
He saw red. He saw black. Blinking repeatedly, he grappled for control of his animal, his emotions.
Then Cael jerked away, his eyes looking as feral and angry as Lexar felt.
“Enough,” Avan bit out. “You’ve done enough. Go.”
Like fucking hell. Lexar wasn’t leaving this room. She could command him until her fucking face turned smurf, but he wasn’t leaving.
“Go,” she said more forcefully, and Cael nodded. She was talking to him, Lexar realized.
Cael spun to find Besh, and was across the room in half a second flat, scooping her into his arms and finding a place to nuzzle her neck.
A growl rumbled Lexar’s chest but Cael ignored it, backing Besh out of the room. When they were in the hall, Avan went to the door and slammed it shut, leaning against it, breathing deep and slow.
Lexar’s gaze raked her, starting from her head and working down. The bruises were gone, her skin returning to its smooth perfection. The cuts were mended. The internal injuries… he was sure they were healed too.
It was amazing. But it did little to calm him.
His bre
ath came heavy and hard. He needed to touch her. He needed to erase the vision of Cael’s hands on her. But damn it, she’d made it clear his touch wasn’t welcome.
She turned slowly. Her eyes took him in, and there was no doubting what she saw. Pure, undiluted, white hot lust. Pushing off from the door, she strolled over to him, hips swinging seductively.
If he didn’t know better, he could never tell how injured she was just minutes earlier.
“You want to kiss me?” Her voice was deep, sultry. Her eyes, narrowed on him, calculating.
“Yes,” he ground out. Oh, he wanted to do so much more than that. But it was a start.
She tilted her head to one side, her blond hair tumbling over one shoulder. “Too bad,” she said sweetly. “You already did that earlier. And without asking first.”
Earlier? The peck on the forehead. Was that what she was mad about when he’d returned from calling Cael?
Lexar let his eyes roam her body again before meeting her gaze. “My mistake.” His voice was rough with desire, and there was no amount of remorse in his words.
She tsked. “Didn’t they teach you as a young? You never ever take what isn’t yours.”
“I didn’t,” he said, pointedly.
Her face went slack for a tiny second when she understood his meaning. She was his whether she admitted it or not. It wouldn’t be his first time to be denied. Though the idea Avan denying him made him ache as he never had over Tandy.
“I have rules, wolf,” she purred. “You haven’t followed them. Why should I let you kiss me?”
Because I’m going absolutely bat-shit crazy knowing the last man to touch you wasn’t me.
“What rules?”
She raised an eyebrow. “You’d like to hear them?”
“Right fucking now, if you don’t mind.”
Stepping forward until they were chest to chest, not touching but almost, she said, “For starters, you don’t kiss me until I say you can.”
Fuck.
“Next?”
“You don’t touch me. I do the touching. My body is mine and no one else’s.”
Bullshit. Her body would be his if it was the last thing he did. But he would earn it. She deserved that much, and more.
“Is there more?”
She blinked, as if she’d expected him to bolt from the room. Not happening.
“No strings.”
Shit. She didn’t want a relationship; she wanted to fuck. And after a decade of loneliness, Lexar wasn’t going to turn down the chance to feel a woman’s body writhe against his, but ultimately he wanted more.
“No strings… why?”
“Because.” Her tone implied she was brokering a deal. If he couldn’t scent her arousal in the air, he’d be epically confused. “Strings don’t work for the sort of relationship I want.”
“And what sort is that?”
A slow, saucy grin painted her face. “Submission.”
She wanted him to bend under her every whim, but that wasn’t in his nature.
“I’m not a submissive wolf.”
She smirked. “I’m aware.”
He narrowed his gaze on her. She was aware. And she hadn’t expected the conversation to get even this far. She’d thought—maybe even hoped—to chase him away with her rules. It was clear she desired him, but she worked so hard to push him away.
Yet, it was more than that. These rules were important to her, what she needed to receive pleasure. And that was the crux of the whole situation: if he agreed, it would give her pleasure. He would give her pleasure. And gain it himself. An unconventional win-win.
His wolf rode him hard, needing to touch her but not willing to do so without her consent.
He wanted this. And it was her body, her rules. He’d play by them if that’s what it took.
“Deal,” he growled.
His animal prowled inside, watching his luscious prey as her eyes widened ever so slightly. She had no idea what she was getting herself into.
He’d submit for now, for her. And when the time came, he’d teach her something new. Something that could change everything for her. For him. For them both.
Mutual submission.
Chapter Six
Deal? Avan hadn’t expected him to agree. She’d hoped he might. She was healed and horny as fuck. And she desperately wanted to feel something other than Cael’s hands on her body. The mere remembrance of it turned her stomach.
Slowly, she reached up to trace the ridge of Lexar’s collarbone, testing. The soft stroke made his breath come faster but he didn’t try to touch her. And she knew how badly he wanted to. His angry territorial scent had filled the entire room during the healing. It was one of the things that kept her sane. She’d focused on it, absorbing it during the worst of things.
But she wasn’t his territory. Not yet.
The thought derailed her. Not yet? The correct thought was not ever. Nobody owned her and nobody ever would.
Avan slid her fingers up his broad neck, running her nails along the scruff of his jaw while he watched her with stormy eyes.
“You can touch me but I can’t touch you?”
“Do you want me to stop?”
“Fuck no,” he snapped.
She clucked her tongue. “You’re very testy. Tell me what you want, Lexar.”
“Does it matter?”
“It always matters. Tell me what you want.”
His eyes traveled down to her lips where they lingered, and then lower, to her t-shirt covered breasts. “First, I want you naked.”
She put space between them until she had enough room to pull her shirt over her head. “Like this?”
She knew her breasts were attractive, been told so a million times, but when Lexar looked at them, it felt different. Sometimes when males stared at her tits, she wondered if she removed the damn things and attached them to a stick if they would even notice. She imagined carrying the boob puppets around with her so people could stare all they wanted and she wouldn’t have to be a part of it. Their attention had made her feel detached from her own body. Lexar’s made her feel necessary. Like her physical body was pointless if she wasn’t part of the equation.
His gaze flicked to her face. “More. Completely bared to me.”
With a sultry shimmy, she wiggled out of her pants while he watched, mouth slightly opened. Her panties were all that was left, but she was going to make him ask for it.
“That better?”
“Take off your panties.”
Oh, yes. She was going to make him ask. “You can do better than that, Captain.”
He brought his face closer to hers—close enough she could feel his hot breath on her cheek—but he didn’t touch her. “Take off your goddamn panties… please.” He pulled back to look in her eyes, and even though he wasn’t the picture perfect submissive, she rewarded him by slowly sliding the black lace over her ass and down her thighs.
His eyes made a slow, leisurely sweep down her body, lingering at the spot between her legs. His gaze there felt like an actual touch and made her throb with desire. He was powerful. More than she usually dabbled with. But she was still in control, and as long as it stayed that way, they could have all the fun they wanted.
Lexar swiped a hand over his mouth, looking like he’d taken a physical punch.
“This better?” she asked, and he nodded. “What now? Now that I’m naked?”
He met her eyes. His expression was raw sex, his eyes already making promises she probably wasn’t going to let him keep.
“Now I want to taste you. Everywhere. Starting with your sassy little mouth.” His voice was gruff. “I want your nipples between my lips, your scent in my lungs, and you, wet and sliding against me. I want to lick you all over until you’re shaking so bad you can’t stand. And then I want you to take me. All of me. I want to give you pleasure, and I want you to take it… and come. So hard. I want you to come so hard you’ll never forget it.”
Fuck. Her head spun at his words. Desire bec
ame warm and urgent at her core. But the thing that caught her attention more than the dirty talk was that he didn’t want to take anything. He only wanted to give. How very… novel.
But would he really play by her rules? “Can you…” Her voice wavered, and she had to clear her throat to continue. “Do you think you can handle this?”
She hoped he got her meaning because she was having a hard time thinking about anything other than his beautiful mouth and all the places on her body she wanted to feel it.
Lexar shook his head. His hands clenched to fists. “No. I want to touch you so bad it hurts. My wolf is going insane.”
Avan’s breath rushed out in disappointment.
“I don’t want to fuck this up with you,” he whispered, barely able to get the words past his throat.
The calluses that surrounded her heart shed a few layers in that moment. For all her life, no male had cared enough about her to put his physical needs aside for the sake of her well-being. But with a single statement, Lexar made her rules more important than whatever territorial need he felt for her.
This was a whole new thing. Something she couldn’t comprehend. This was like landing on Mars and not knowing what to do about it. Uncharted territory.
Avan brushed past him, opening the drawer of her nightstand and retrieving a possible solution. If he agreed.
She turned around, holding the handcuffs from her hooked index finger. Lexar’s eyebrows shot upward but she wasn’t sure if that was a “hell no” or a “let’s see where this goes”.
“You want to use those on me?” His voice was flat, giving nothing away.
She looked at the sturdy metal, already envisioning how the cuffs would look against his smooth, dark skin. “I want to cuff you to the bed,” she murmured, “so I can give you what you want.”
“Or you could let me touch you.”
“I can’t do that yet.” Avan froze. She hadn’t meant to say that.
Lexar’s gaze intensified. How could it feel as though he was touching her even when he never laid a finger on her?
“Yet?”
Avan shrugged off the implication. “I believe if you’re willing, we can work through just about anything.” She glanced at the handcuffs. “So… are you? Willing?”
Please say yes. Her wolf begged silently along with her.
