by Marie Medina
Kyo and Sigmund both nodded. “Go. Do what you must,” Kyo said. “We’ll see to horses and supplies and rooms for our guests.”
“Thank you.” Arion ran from the castle as fast as he could. It was almost as if he’d been asleep all this time and suddenly woken up to find the world in shambles around him. Twenty years of guilt had just crashed down on him like a tidal wave, and it had hit him so hard he almost couldn’t even feel his own pain anymore.
Yet he knew it was there, just as Vane’s was.
****
Three Days Later
Vane sat in bed and stared down at the letter in his hands. He’d practically memorized the words written in Ash’s sloppy and hurried hand.
We found Arion. Sigmund took us straight to him. He’s been living here for about five years. Arion became distressed when he heard you were sick, and he agreed to come right away. We’ll set out first thing in the morning. I’m so tired I can hardly keep my eyes open, but I’m so happy. Tell everyone to keep any eye out for a wolf. Lycans can run much faster than horses, I’m told. The messenger carrying this may shift back to human form before he reaches the castle for his own safety, but Arion plans on shifting for the final part of the journey so he can get to you faster. Don’t lose hope. He cares for you and regrets what happened between you—I can see it in everything he does.
Vane put the letter aside and got out of bed. He felt dizzy for a moment, but he made it to the balcony and sat down. He looked up at the three moons, which were almost all full right now, and watched the wispy clouds moving by slowly. Though he didn’t want to remember the events of twenty years ago, he had little choice. He and Arion couldn’t be around each other without talking about it at some point. He’d respected Arion’s wishes and left him alone, but had that been the right decision? Or had he been foolish and cost himself years of happiness with his mate because of a misplaced sense of honor? He almost wished his father was here to lecture him. His father and his other brother had both gone out in search of Arion as well, but his mother had written to call them home. Soon his castle would be full of people waiting to see what would happen next.
But what could he say to Arion when he arrived? What would Arion have to say to him after all these years? Vane couldn’t have Ash’s optimism, even though he was incredibly curious about what Arion had said or done to give Ash such an impression. It was probably just Ash getting overexcited and hopeful anyway. When they’d met, Arion had taken on six bandits to help a stranger. The lycan had a compassionate heart, and that was likely his primary reason for agreeing to come to Vane. It seemed foolish to hope for more than that.
Vane massaged his temples as another headache began. He’d rarely experienced headaches before, but now he had them almost constantly. He turned when he heard his bedroom door open, and his mother walked out to the balcony and sat across from him. She looked tired and concerned, and he sighed as the guilt washed over him. She would be having another child soon, and he felt horrible for having put more stress on her. She’d done so much for him, and he wondered how he’d earn her forgiveness. At first, she’d been angry about him not revealing that Arion was a lycan. But after the anger had passed, sadness had replaced it.
“Tell me what you need. I’m sure you’re nervous,” she said.
“Yes, I am. But I was thinking of you.”
“Of me?”
“Yes. I was thinking of something earlier today, and seeing how tired you are made me think of it again.”
“Vane, I’m fine. Parents are allowed emotions, too, you know.”
“I know. I was remembering the hunting trip father took me on.”
Evane sighed heavily as she rubbed her stomach. “Why were you thinking of that? You’re worrying yourself silly.”
“It’s hard not to remember and think about things when that’s all you have to do. And guilt is what brought it to mind.”
“Guilt? Because you got lost as a child?”
“No. Guilt about my behavior recently. I hadn’t thought of how my selfishness was hurting all of you until that memory came to me. I was young, but I still remember what you said before they brought me into the room.”
Evane shook her head. “You shouldn’t dwell on that.”
Vane’s father had taken him hunting, even though his mother had said he was too young. He’d wandered off and gotten lost, only worrying about getting in trouble and never thinking about how scared everyone might be. It had been well past midnight when he was found, and as they’d taken him to his mother’s room, he’d heard her yelling at his father and saying she didn’t want to live if they couldn’t find Vane. He’d broken into a run and burst into the room, crying and saying how sorry he was. The rest of the memory had faded over the years, but he’d never been able to forget the terror that had gripped him as he thought about life without her. He cringed as he thought about how everyone must’ve felt when he’d repeatedly said he didn’t care if he died.
“I just got to thinking about my attitude. My apathy. I don’t know, everything. I hurt you all by hiding my illness and fighting you. I almost don’t feel like I deserve this chance after the way I acted.”
“Stop with the self-pity. You’ve really been a pain since all of this started, darling.”
Vane tilted his head and looked over at his mother, not sure he’d heard her right. “I have?” He didn’t doubt it, but actually hearing her say it startled him. It sounded much more like something his father would say, with the exception of the endearment at the end.
“Yes. Feeling sorry for yourself. Moping. Saying it’s going to hurt too much seeing Arion again. You’re a grown man. You made a mistake. Lots of them. We all do it.” She sat forward in her chair, her hands on her knees. Her silk dress had creases and wrinkles all over it. “Like all those things I said to your father that day you disappeared. I knew he wasn’t completely to blame, that you’d wondered off. But I put every bit of the blame on him because you were my precious little boy, my only child at the time. I was terrified, and I took it out on him. Said horrible things. But we all have to move past those things.”
“I know. I’m sorry.” He took in the wrinkles in her dress again and noticed a small tear in the sleeve. “Mother, you should go rest. You’ve been up since dawn.”
“I will, but just let me say this. I know you’re in pain from the sickness. You feel helpless. And I know you’re scared and nervous about Arion. But you’ll get through this. Whatever comes is what you’ll have to work with. I have no idea how you left things with him or what you said to each other. All that matters is that he’s coming back.”
Vane looked out across the courtyard below them. I just don’t want to get my hopes up. Instead of voicing that, he said, “I know. In all likelihood I’ll recover and begin to be useful around here again. Then we’ll see what happens.”
“That’s all we can do.” She rose and kissed him on the top of his head. “Do you need anything? I thought you might be restless tonight since it’s possible Arion could get here tomorrow.”
“I doubt there’s any cure for that. I came out here for some air. The moons are all very bright tonight. It’s so beautiful and peaceful.”
Evane moved to the railing and looked up. “Yes. They should all reach their peaks tomorrow night. A good sign, I say.”
When she turned to look at him, he smiled despite his headache and the worries plaguing him. “All right. I’ll embrace it as a good sign and look to tomorrow with optimism.” He folded his hands in his lap and laid his head back. “And stop being a pain.”
“I say it because I love you. If you keep digging that self-pity hole, you’ll never get out of it.”
Vane laughed at the idea of himself stuck down in a hole and jumping at the edge to get out, not even sure why it struck him as so funny. “All right. I get it.”
She beamed at him. “I made you laugh. How wonderful.” She patted his shoulder. “Try to get some rest. I daresay tomorrow will be exciting.”
&nbs
p; Exciting isn’t the word I’d use. “Good night, Mother.”
“Good night, dear. Ellie is out in hall, so call out if you need something.”
“All right.” He smiled as she left because he knew the reason Ellie was out there instead of Gwynn, who had been reluctant to leave his side when his sickness had first become public knowledge. Orman, Vane’s steward, had finally told Gwynn the truth about his feelings for her, and Vane felt sure they were together tonight. Everything had worked out quite well for them. And it had all happened far quicker than Vane had expected.
But then he frowned, thinking about how only a few moments, just a few choice words, could change everything in a heartbeat.
****
Twenty Years Earlier
3135, The Year of Blood
Arion shifted in the saddle when he spotted the hitch post and trough, ready to get down and walk for a while. He’d left home to explore the world, unable to stay in his mother’s house after her passing. His friends had supported his decision to go, though they’d urged him to return home soon. Arion had never been away from the lycan settlement for more than a few days, so the past week had been fun, even though nothing all that exciting had actually happened to him. He stopped Lily and dismounted, stretching and rubbing his shoulders before leading the gray mare over to a drinking trough and tying her there while he moved around to get the kinks out of his back.
The sound of pounding hoofs caught his attention, and he turned to look down the road. A horse went flying past him, panicked and stirring up lots of dust. Arion heard shouting in the distance, and he briefly calmed his horse before yanking his boots off and reaching into his bag for his dagger. He moved as quietly as he could through the grass on the side of the road, keeping low until he could see what was happening.
A group of dirty, shabbily dressed bandits seemed to have attacked a lone rider. Arion got low to the ground and tried to count his enemies. There seemed to be six men, so he laid his dagger aside. He could only stab one man at a time, and he didn’t want to risk one of them getting it away from him and turning it against him. None of them seemed to be armed, though they might be beating the other man merely for sport and concealing their own weapons. Arion yanked his shirt off and wiggled out of his leather breeches as best he could without drawing attention to himself. He shifted into his wolf form as he crawled through the grass, and then he pounced on the largest man.
Arion tore at the man’s shoulder and drew blood as the man screamed. He didn’t wish to kill them, but he had no intention of letting them get off easy. He pushed off the man and growled at the two who approached him. He cast a glance to the victim, worried they might kill him, and he caught a flash of red in the man’s eyes just before he sank his fangs into one of the assailants. Arion focused on his own foes again. A vampire might not be a match for six men, but he seemed more than capable of handling three if the screams told Arion anything.
Arion dodged away when one man tried to tackle him, and he maneuvered around them well enough, leading them in a merry little dance. When one man got in a kick to the side of Arion’s head, he latched on to his ankle and bit down hard. The man jerked away, but then he stumbled on the injured foot. Arion growled again and leapt at the third man, who jumped back in terror and fell backwards down a hill. His three foes in retreat, Arion turned to the others. One man had run off, but two more still tried to best the vampire. Arion growled and leapt on the one trying to hold the vampire down, and he tore into his back with one swipe of his jaws. The man howled and twisted and jerked to throw Arion off. Arion leapt down of his own accord and advanced on the final man as the other ran. The bandit acted as if he’d stand his ground for a moment, but when the vampire rose to his knees, the man thought better of his chances.
Arion watched them fleeing and wanted to pursue them, but then the vampire collapsed forward, barely catching himself. Arion shifted back to human form and went to the vampire, rolling him to his back and letting him come to rest in Arion’s lap. The bandits had beaten him mercilessly, and he was covered in blood and bruises.
“Is anything broken? What can I do?”
The vampire stared at him and didn’t reply. Arion wiped blood from his own eyes and noticed his head was bleeding. He felt stupid for not realizing exactly what the vampire needed. “Blood. I’m sorry, my lord. Of course you need blood.” Arion held out his arm for the vampire to drink from.
Still the vampire stared at him as if he couldn’t believe Arion was real. “What’s wrong?” Arion asked, touching him all over to check for mortal injuries. He felt the back of the man’s head and was relieved to find no blood or bumps. “You’ve lost a lot of blood. Drink. Then we can get to safety.”
The vampire took hold of his arm and, to Arion’s shock and confusion, kissed his wrist before sinking his fangs into Arion’s flesh. Warmth flooded Arion’s body, but he tried to keep his composure. He knew a vampire’s bite could be heady and intoxicating, but he hadn’t expected it to feel this good. It didn’t hurt at all even as the vampire sank his fangs deep. Arion felt his body responding with arousal, but he tried to ignore the reaction. The intimate act did have an erotic quality, and Arion averted his gaze, as seeing the vampire’s rapture made him feel strange. When the vampire was done, he licked the wound to heal it, then turned Arion’s hand over and kissed his knuckles.
Arion felt somewhat embarrassed. He was naked, and this man was kissing him and now rubbing his hand. The vampire sat up and cupped Arion’s cheek, turning his head with gentle insistence. “I’m Vane. What’s your name?”
“Arion, my lord.” The vampire’s eyes had changed to black, which worried Arion. Vampires had white irises, but the color changed according to mood. Only two colors meant the same thing for every vampire—red and black. Red indicated anger or the need for blood, as Arion had witnessed during the attack, and black indicated lust. Arion wished his clothes weren’t so far away. He knew vampires had quite the reputation for overactive libidos.
Vane smiled. “A fine name for my brave, handsome mate.”
“Mate?” Arion said, the word hanging there between them.
“Yes. I’m sorry if I worried you by not responding to your questions. I was in shock, I guess. I scented your blood as soon as you knelt beside me, and I couldn’t believe my luck. Not only to be rescued so unexpectedly but for my savior to turn out to be my mate? It’s like something out of a romantic legend.” Vane caressed Arion’s cheek lovingly and leaned in to kiss him.
Arion turned away without thinking about it, and Vane stopped short. “What is it?” Vane asked.
“Um.” Arion realized he’d been rude, but he couldn’t simply let himself be caught up in this man’s will. “I don’t desire men, my lord. I’m sorry.”
Vane backed off a little, but he didn’t release Arion. “Didn’t you feel anything when I bit you? I’m sure I felt your cock stir.”
Arion felt his entire body flame red. He knew the vampire was resting just over his cock, but he’d been so concerned for Vane’s welfare he hadn’t given it much thought at the time. “Yes, I think maybe it did, but I just met you. I don’t like men that way.”
“But we’re mates. The gods want us to be together.” Vane didn’t even try to hide the fact that he was examining every inch of Arion.
“I’m a lycan. Your gods and beliefs are not what direct my destiny.” He thought back to his desire to leave after his mother’s death and how several of the lycan elders had encouraged him to follow his feelings. He could believe he’d been meant to be here this day to save Vane’s life, but he hesitated to accept more than that just yet.
“A vampire is never mistaken about its mate.”
“May I get dressed, my lord? I can’t keep talking in this state.” Lycans didn’t tend to care about such things, having no problem with others walking around either naked or in their shifted forms, but he couldn’t help feeling self-conscious when the vampire so obviously desired him.
Vane finally averted
his gaze. “Yes. Forgive me. Despite what I’ve just experienced, I can’t seem to fight how much you please me.”
Arion stood. “I’ll return soon. My horse isn’t far.”
“Arion?” Vane said after he’d taken a few steps.
Looking over his shoulder, Arion said, “Yes?”
“I’ll back off. Please don’t run away.”
Arion realized he’d probably hurt the man’s feelings. Vampires were always enthusiastic when they found their mates. “I’m just surprised,” he said, though that wasn’t exactly the best word. “I’d never run off and leave someone in distress like this.” But he turned away before Vane could say anything else. Part of him wanted to run away, but what if the bandits returned? He had no way of knowing if he’d given Vane enough blood for the vampire to make it to safety. He couldn’t abandon him.
Arion put his clothes back on and smoothed his hair away from his face as he picked his dagger up. He went back to Lily and found that she didn’t seem too worried about him. He patted her on the side of her neck and then put his boots back on. “Come on, Lily. We have a new mission, it seems.”
As he walked her back to Vane, he wondered what would happen next. According to the law, no vampire could force another to accept the mate bond, but it was quite rare that any human ever walked away. Not only did vampires possess wealth and power but they were also supposedly amazing lovers. Arion could believe it, given his reaction to that bite. There had been something very sensual about it, something that still lingered with him.
Vane sat on the ground looking down at his hands. His expression seemed not quite sad but something similar. Wistful, perhaps? Arion’s stomach knotted as he tried to think of what to say. Vane looked up at him then, and the vampire’s gaze held unmistakable longing. Arion cleared his throat as he brought Lily to a stop. Deciding to fall back on formality to keep his distance, Arion said, “Let me help you stand, my lord. I can take you wherever you need to go.”
