by Kristi Gold
She visually followed his movements as he toyed with the top button on her blouse. “I’ve thought about it, too,” he said. “I’ve had some serious fantasies about us together. And right now I want the reality. All of it.”
So did she, but at what cost? “I’m still not sure this is a good idea.”
“Look at me, Val.” She raised her head to find him studying her intensely as he rested his palms on her thighs. “Do you want me?”
“I…well…” She couldn’t quite voice her feelings, but she recognized that her flushed face, the tiny catch of her breath, gave her away.
He ran a fingertip along her jaw. “That’s what I thought.”
Gavin held her again, kissed her until all the reasons why she shouldn’t allow this flittered away with every soft caress of his lips. With a gentle tug he brought her legs around his waist and her bottom closer to the edge of the table, closer to his body. She ran her hands down his back and up again while his palms drifted along her rib cage beneath the blouse. The kiss turned deeper, wilder, desperate as he grazed his thumbs along the sides of her breasts. She knew that if she only gave him some sort of sign, he’d touch her the way she wanted him to touch her. The way she needed him to touch her.
Instead he stilled his hands, broke the kiss and tipped his head against her forehead. “Just say the word, Val, and I’ll make love to you. All night. In my bed.”
That word formed in her mind and came out on a breathy sigh. “Yes.”
He lifted his head and leveled his dark eyes on her. “Are you sure?”
“Yes.” She covered her face with both hands. “Even though I’ll hate myself in the morning.”
“Then it’s not going to happen tonight.”
Totally taken aback, Valerie dropped her hands and stared at him. “I don’t understand.” And she didn’t. First go, then stop. Was he trying to tease her into submission?
He backed up a couple of steps and slid his hands into his pockets. “I don’t want you to hate yourself, and if you do, then you’re not ready. And if you’re not ready, then I’m not ready.”
She sent a direct look at his distended fly. “All evidence to the contrary.”
He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck and shifted his weight. “Physically I’m more than ready. But I want you to go into this willingly, without any reservations. And when this happens between us—”
“If this happens, you mean.”
“When it happens, the only thing you’re going to feel in the morning is real, real good. Until then, I’m going to let you decide how fast or how slow we go.”
She pinched the bridge of her nose between her thumb and forefinger. “This is still a bad idea.”
Gavin took her hands into his and rubbed his thumbs along her wrists. “It’s not a bad idea at all. It’s a great idea. I’ve wanted you for months now, and if you’ll give me the chance, I’ll prove how much I want you in ways you won’t forget.”
She had no doubts about that, even if she did doubt her wisdom in even having this conversation. “You’re very sure of yourself, aren’t you?”
He brushed her hair aside and kissed her cheek. “I’m only sure of one thing, Val. You’re a beautiful, sexy woman and I want you so bad, I hurt. However long it takes to prove that to you, I’m willing to wait. And as soon as we’re finally together, neither of us will ever forget it. I promise you that.”
Four
Saturday morning arrived, awakening Valerie to guilt. She’d been so shaken by her behavior the night before that she hadn’t even written in her journal, as if by putting everything down on paper, she would have to acknowledge her weakness for the sheriff.
She had no idea how she’d let things get so out of hand. Easy. She was drawn to his pure sensuality, as well as everything he stood for as a man. She’d been exposed to enough bad in her lifetime to recognize the good in him. And for that reason she needed to avoid any emotional entanglement.
Still, her grandmother had said she deserved a good man, and Valerie wanted to believe that was true. But the timing was all wrong, and so was any involvement with the sheriff beyond casual friendship. Even that was a stretch, considering her current deception. True friends didn’t deceive friends. Right now she had her reasons to keep up the pretense and, under the circumstances, felt she had no other choice.
Valerie waited in her bedroom until she was certain Gavin had left, in many ways afraid to face him, even though she would have to overcome that obstacle at some point tonight. But now she was alone—and she could see a definite advantage in that.
Following a quick shower, Valerie dressed in what she termed her “Saturday sloppies”—baggy blue sweatshirt and threadbare gray sweats. She wandered into the kitchen to find a pot of coffee brewing and a set of keys lying atop a note scribbled in blue ink.
Mornin’, darlin’. Feel free to take a drive if you get bored. I’ll be all yours tonight.
Gavin.
She poured a cup of coffee and read the note two more times, wishing that he could be all hers. Unbelievable that she would even think such a thing. But she was considering it, considering what it would be like to have him in her life, in her bed every night and every morning. She tucked those thoughts in a secret place that she would never divulge to anyone, especially not the sheriff.
After finishing off the coffee and a piece of dry toast, Valerie sat down and scanned the classifieds for a decent rental that she could afford. Nothing. Now what?
For the past few months she had tried to put together the missing pieces that would complete her mission. She had a copy of the map she had borrowed from the museum display, yet she didn’t know the precise location of the Windcroft land, the presumed location of the gold. Coming right out and asking Gavin for directions might seem a bit suspicious at that. She could take his car and try to find the place on her own, but that probably wouldn’t be a good idea since the GTO was easily recognizable. She would wait until she had her own car back.
Being a lady of leisure was totally unfamiliar to Valerie, the reason why she liked working at the diner. She had a few hours to fill and nothing to fill them with unless she watched TV. That didn’t seem appealing, but taking a tour of the house did. Maybe then she might get to know more about Gavin.
She began with the room immediately off the kitchen that Gavin had designated as his study. As soon as she entered, the heavy weight of guilt settled on her chest. What right did she have to invade his privacy? No right at all, really. But she didn’t intend to do anything other than a little minor investigating.
She found only a small desk set across the room, with a lone office chair pushed beneath it. Oddly enough, no computer rested atop of it. In fact, the surface was relatively bare with the exception of an empty in-box. Above that, two shelves housed volumes of what appeared to be mostly books involving crimes, some technical, some fiction and some she had even read herself.
She wasn’t cut out for this kind of subterfuge, but that didn’t prevent her from seeking another room she had yet to see—although if she’d kept her mouth shut last night, she probably would have seen it.
Valerie bypassed her quarters and opened the door to the room next to hers—Gavin’s room. The bed was king-size, framed in heavy oak and covered by a simple black spread. A blue-and-black-plaid sofa sat next to the window, and past that she noticed another door. She decided to take a peek in there first and pushed the door open to reveal an enormous bathroom. Straight ahead, four steps led to a massive whirlpool tub big enough for two, maybe even four, framed by a pair of ivory marble columns, a tall double window providing a gorgeous backdrop. To her right, an L-shaped marble vanity housed a sink, and to her left, an exact replica of the other vanity. Definitely a his-and-hers design. She walked to the sink and simply stared at Gavin’s toothbrush, as silly as that seemed, and remembered his mouth in great detail. She picked up his aftershave and gave it a good sniff, then set it down hard, as if she’d been caught going through his little black bo
ok. Did he have one?
Valerie shook her head in an attempt to dislodge those thoughts. She couldn’t—or shouldn’t—be concerned about his love life. She didn’t plan to investigate his previous affairs. But in a fit of sheer nosiness, she opened the closet door to find a room bigger than any place she’d ever resided, lit by a high eye-brow window. On one side, several immaculately pressed shirts in white and beige hung from the railing along with a couple of suits, below that a row of slacks and jeans. Several pairs of boots sat lined up on a lower shelf like cavalry soldiers. The opposite side of the closet was bare even though it was built for more clothes. Maybe her clothes? Who was she kidding?
Back in the bedroom, Valerie stopped short of leaving when she noticed the framed photograph set out on the top of the nightstand. She perched on the edge of the mattress and picked up the picture of the man and the woman smiling brightly for the camera. The man had a small cleft in his chin, and the woman had dark, dark eyes. Gavin’s resemblance to both was almost uncanny, as if he’d been born with an equal mix of their attributes. She didn’t look a thing like her mother and had no idea if she resembled her father since she’d never known who he was. Not even a name or any significant details, and she doubted she would ever know. She doubted her own mother knew for certain.
“That’s my parents.”
Valerie’s gaze zipped to Gavin leaning against the door frame, thumbs hooked in his jeans pockets. Her mortification over being caught in his bedroom was second only to her heated reaction to his presence. Her heart fluttered wildly in her throat, threatening her speech, but somehow she managed to say, “They’re a very nice-looking couple.”
“Yeah, they were nice. The best.”
“Were nice?”
“They’re both gone.”
The sorrow in his tone, the sadness in his eyes, sent a sharp ache right in the vicinity of Valerie’s heart. She decided not to press him for more information since she certainly didn’t like people asking too many questions. If he wanted to reveal the details of their deaths, she’d allow him to do that in his own time.
Gavin crossed the room, joined her on the bed and took the picture from her. “My dad had a wicked sense of humor. He was always teasing someone. My mom pretended she didn’t appreciate it, but she did.”
“You come by that teasing thing honestly, then.”
His smile held a certain melancholy that couldn’t be ignored.
“I guess we’re all products of our upbringing.”
“I guess that’s right.” Although Valerie wanted so much to believe that wasn’t always the case. Especially for her.
Gavin reached over her and replaced the photo on the nightstand, along with his hat, then laid a palm on her thigh. “You know, if you wanted to see my bedroom, you only had to ask.”
She studied her own hands, now clasped tightly in her lap. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to invade your privacy. I just got a little bored and decided to take a look around. I didn’t touch anything other than the picture.”
He rubbed her thigh in a slow, sultry rhythm. “I don’t mind you looking anywhere you want to look or touching anything you want to touch.”
The way he was touching her now had Valerie feeling as if she could go up in flames and come down in a pile of cinders. “What are you doing home? I thought you said you had to work all day.”
He stopped his soft stroking but kept his hand firmly planted on her leg. “Actually I came by to drop off the rest of your things. I went by Harvey Joe’s and picked them up.”
Panic constricted Valerie’s chest. “You didn’t have to do that. I would have gone back in a day or two.”
“Not a problem. You don’t have all that much, unless I just didn’t see everything.”
Hopefully he hadn’t seen everything. “Only some clothes and a couple of boxes.”
“Yeah, that’s what I brought with me. I put your hanging things in the closet and the stuff from your drawers on top of the box of books.” He studied her a long moment, causing her to look away. “I noticed they were college textbooks.”
So much for pretending she’d been a lifelong waitress. “I went to the local university for a while, but after my grandmother died, I had to quit.” Not exactly a lie, even though she did have her undergraduate degree and was well into working on her master’s. But if she told him that, then he would wonder why she hadn’t pursued her career in St. Louis instead of settling in Royal.
“I noticed the books had mostly to do with psychology,” he said.
“Yes. The human mind fascinates me.”
Gavin’s smile turned into a grin. “Me, too. Almost as much as the human body.”
Valerie’s all-too-human body was making itself known with a racing pulse and a rolling heat. “Why does this not surprise me?”
“Guess it shouldn’t surprise you at all after last night.” He lifted his hand from her leg and draped his arm over her shoulder. “And about that, I owe you an apology for pressuring you.”
“You didn’t pressure me,” she said.
“Yeah, I did.” He stroked his thumb along her jaw. “But I have to admit, I’ve thought about it all day long.”
Gavin got that look about him, the one that told her he was about to kiss her. And he did, with gentle yet effective persuasion that had Valerie opening to him without hesitation and leaning toward him as if he had power over her like the moon over the tides. The things he could do to her with his mouth were beyond anything she had ever known. The way she responded was totally out of character for her normally cautious self. She welcomed the soft stroke of his tongue and met it with her own, enjoyed the feel of his hand traveling from her waist to her hip and back up again.
“I don’t have time to do this right now,” he murmured as he feathered soft kisses along her neck and down the column of her throat.
“Then leave before…”
He raised his head and stared at her. “Before what?”
“Before I can’t let you leave.”
He pushed off the bed, forked one hand through his hair and let go a rough sigh. “You’re killing me, Val.”
“Sorry, that wasn’t what I meant to do at all. And I believe you started it by kissing me first.”
He took his hat from the nightstand and placed it on his head. “Yeah, and we’re going to have to finish it soon or I might be forced to permanently reside in the company vehicle to preserve my dignity, if you catch my meaning. Kind of hard to do when you’re out on a call.” Leaning over, he gave her a quick kiss. “I’ve left some money for you in the kitchen in case you need it.”
“I’ll probably pick up something for dinner at the store, but I have my own money.”
“Keep your money. An even trade if you’ll do the shopping.” Before Valerie could argue that buying food was a fair exchange for the room, Gavin left, calling, “I’ll see you tonight when I get home.”
Valerie collapsed back onto the bed and rested one palm over her pounding heart. In Gavin O’Neal’s company, she was as weak as a sapling tree and as foolish as a teenager. The longer she stayed, the deeper involved she might become. But she couldn’t resist him anymore than she could change who she was, and that created a terrible dilemma.
Gavin pulled up in front of the post office, left the SUV running and hurried inside, thankful to be out of the less-than-pleasant elements, at least for the time being. He walked up to the window and rang the bell, waiting for several minutes for Abe to get out of his chair and shuffle to the counter.
“Howdy, Sheriff,” the man said with a smile, revealing a set of yellowed dentures. “What can I do for you?”
“Harvey Joe Raleigh told me he sent some mail back that belongs to Valerie Raines. Do you know where it might be?”
Abe rubbed his stubbly chin. “Let me look. It might take a while.”
Gavin didn’t doubt that for a minute. “I’ll wait.”
Leaning one elbow against the counter, Gavin turned and stared out at the deserted stree
t. Everyone had taken shelter from the bitter cold, with good reason. The forecast called for a winter storm due to arrive in a matter of hours, bringing with it the threat of snow. An unusual occurrence for this time of year for Royal, or so he’d been told, but not completely unheard of. If he had his way, he’d stay in for the night with his houseguest, alone, and get to know her better. And it would probably be best not to think too much about that now. He’d had one heck of a time blocking the images of her on his bed where he’d left her that morning. He’d had an even harder time erasing the fantasies of seeing her there again, this time naked. Hell, he was having a hard time, period.
He turned back to the window and peered inside to find Abe working his way through a stack of mail at a snail’s pace. At this rate, it might be midnight before he went home to Valerie, and that wouldn’t do. The sound of the opening door turned Gavin around to discover another blonde entering the building. She pulled her black leather coat closer to her body when she contacted his gaze.
“Hello, Sheriff.” Her tone was as cold as the rush of air that had followed her inside.
He tipped the brim of his hat. “Gretchen. Haven’t seen you around much lately.”
Her gaze slid away. “I’ve been busy.”
Now that she’d lost the mayor’s race, Gavin couldn’t imagine what was keeping her so busy. He guessed shopping and extolling the virtues of a stellar bloodline were time-consuming. Right then, he had a prime opportunity to ask a few questions in an informal setting. “I don’t think I’ve told you that I’m sorry about your friend’s death.”
She raised one thin eyebrow. “Friend?”
“Malcolm Durmorr.”
After pulling off her leather gloves, she rifled through her purse, avoiding his scrutiny. “I wouldn’t exactly call him a friend.”
Gavin leaned back against the counter. “From what I hear, you two were pretty tight at one time.”
She withdrew a stack of envelopes and clutched them in her fists. “You can’t always believe what you hear in this town, Sheriff.”
