by M. S. Parker
“I’m fine,” I said. “Just tired.”
“Of course. I’ll…” He paused and then said, “Why don’t we find you a drink? The champagne is…”
I stopped, not hearing the rest of what he said.
In front of me, not even ten feet away, Penelope was talking to Dominic. He had his back to me. She stood at an angle, facing away, their heads pressed close together. As I watched, she reached up and touched his cheek. Dominic averted his head, but didn’t pull away. Penelope settled her hand on his shoulder instead, smoothing it up and down in a possessive gesture.
“I...” Swallowing, I glanced over at Eddie. “You know, I think I should go back to the hotel. I’m not feeling well.”
He squeezed my hand, casting a knowing look at Penelope. “You shouldn’t let her run you off, Ms. Davison.”
“Oh, I’m not…” The words faded, my protest dying in my throat as I met the man’s kind eyes. Finally, I cleared my throat and said, “I am tired.”
“Of course. Allow me to get you a car at least. I’ll let Dominic know you weren’t feeling well.” Then his eyes narrowed on Penelope, clear dislike on his face. “Once he’s done with his conversation, of course.”
I nodded and he guided me away, his hand resting solicitously on my back.
***
My head was still pounding almost an hour later when I came out of the shower.
I’d hoped it would help, but it hadn’t.
The sight of the man standing in the middle of my bedroom didn’t help either.
Chapter 9
Aleena
Dominic stood there staring at me, looking almost too beautiful for words.
Rumpled blond hair fell across his forehead while blue eyes studied my face. The elegant tux he wore fit him to perfection, although at some point since I’d last seen him, he’d loosened his tie and it hung open at his throat, the top two buttons of his shirt freed as well.
My heart hurt just to look at him.
“Eddie said you weren’t feeling well.”
Turning away, I rubbed the heel of my hand over my chest. “No. I’m not.”
His heavy sigh filled the room around me. “May I ask what’s wrong?”
My heart’s breaking. I don’t know what to think. I’m trying to figure out if I know you at all…I wanted to tell him all of that, but I didn’t know how to even begin. Taking a deep breath, I let it out slowly and then turned to face him, wondering if I had the strength to even try.
The remote look in his eyes froze every single word that came to my mind. Lamely, I said, “I’ve got a horrible headache.”
Dominic tipped his head back, staring up at the ceiling. “A headache?”
“Yes.” It was nothing less than the truth, but it was lame and I knew it. I could have stayed. I could have toughed it out if it wasn’t for one little thing. Or rather, if it wasn’t for one major bitch by the name of Penelope, I would have been fine. Did I have a headache? Yes. It was brought on by the stress of the party and too little sleep and just being unfamiliar with everything I was doing, but I could have popped a few Tylenol, dealt with it and pushed on.
But I wasn’t going to deal with her goading me, stabbing at me, going out of her way to embarrass me at every turn.
And the uncertainty.
That was the worst of it.
Dominic had said we needed to talk, but maybe I shouldn’t have avoided it. We should have talked and we hadn’t and now I was left not knowing where I stood with him.
The turmoil of my thoughts was interrupted by Dominic’s voice, brusque, almost harsh.
“Aleena, I realize this life is different from what you’re used to, but sometimes, you’re going to have to deal with shit. Headaches, feeling like shit, even rude people like Mitchell Pence.”
I jerked my head up and stared at him.
“Excuse me?”
He rubbed the back of his neck. “I heard he was being a dick. I’m going to assume that has something to do with your headache.”
“Something? Sure.” I tightened the belt on my robe and moved past him, staring outside. I could’ve explained, but I decided to see how things played out. I still didn’t know what Penelope had said. “Just exactly what did you hear about him, Dominic?”
“He made a move on you, didn’t he?”
I slanted a look at him. “You could say that.”
His jaw went tight. “I’ll deal with him, Aleena. But you’re a beautiful woman—”
“I’m a beautiful black woman, Dominic.” Turning back to him, I held out my hands and said, “I’m sure you’ve noticed since everyone else in your life has. I’m half-black. Most of the world looks at me and sees a black woman. Period. You do understand that?”
“Yeah.” He braced his hands on his hips. “Look, Aleena, that’s got nothing to do—”
“That son of a bitch put his hands on me,” I said. I stormed over to him and jabbed him in the chest. “So guess what, Dominic? You don’t get to stand there and tell me it’s got nothing to with jackshit.”
He caught my wrist.
I jerked back. “Let me go,” I warned him. “I’ve had it with people putting their hands on me today.”
Dominic lowered his gaze and slowly, he let go. He didn’t move back though and I could feel tension radiating off of him. “What are you talking about?” he asked quietly.
“What, didn’t Penelope fill you in on all the details?” He didn’t respond and I laughed, shaking my head. “So I’m right, aren’t I? She decided to tell you how difficult I was being.” Bitterness choked me. “I guess I should be grateful that you gave me some benefit and at least assumed he was being an asshole.”
He wasn’t even looking at me now and I started to walk away.
“Aleena, would you please…” He stopped and then after a moment, he tried again. “I want to know what happened.”
“Sure. I’ll tell you.” I turned around. “That prick you agreed to take on? He called me brown sugar and a black bitch and he put his hands on me. You’re fucking lucky I didn’t deck him right there. And then that bitch of a girlfriend of yours had the nerve to tell me to show him respect.”
I went into my bedroom and slammed the door shut. I couldn’t stay here.
The party was over. Tomorrow, we were heading back. Fuck that.
I was going to figure out a way to get back to New York tonight, even if I had to rent a car and drive back myself. I couldn’t stay here another minute.
The door opened and I spun around, glaring at Dominic.
“Get out!” I shouted at him. “I am so sick of you walking in whenever you feel like it!”
He flinched, but didn’t move. “I’m sorry I didn’t knock, but I didn’t think you’d let me in.”
“Damn right,” I muttered.
“I needed you to hear this,” he continued. “Penelope isn’t my girlfriend. I can barely stand the woman.”
“Sure.” Misery crashed and stormed inside me as I grabbed some clothes from the dresser. “That’s why she knows more about you than I do.”
“Penelope doesn’t know anything about me.”
He blocked me when I tried to go around him.
“Yeah?” Angling my head back, I stared up at him. I clung to the clothes I held like they were somehow keeping me from falling apart. “Fine. Tell me about your nightmares.”
He jerked back as if I’d slapped him.
“Okay.” I nodded. That settled it then. “Okay,” I repeated. I ducked around him. “This…this isn’t working for me, Dominic. I think you’re going to have to find a new assistant. I’m going to find someplace else…” My voice cracked and I all but tore the door open, shuddering and shaking. Tears blinded me.
“Aleena, wait.”
I lunged for the bathroom. I had to get away from him.
“You are not leaving me.”
He caught me, pulling me against him. I bucked and thrashed, trying to get out of his embrace, but he was too strong.
> “Let me go!” I shouted.
His lips pressed against my cheek, while against my back, I felt the ragged rise and fall of his chest. “I can’t,” he whispered. “I can’t…Aleena, you’re mine. Don’t you get it?”
“Yours?” I started to cry. So that was how he saw me then. A thing. A possession. I sagged and he caught me, lowering us both to the floor.
“Stop, please, baby,” he murmured, speaking softly into my hair. “Don’t cry. Don’t cry…”
“I can’t do this. I can’t…”
“Aleena.” He rubbed his cheek against mine. “I need you. I—”
“Stop saying that!” The words infuriated me and I started to fight him again, preferring anger to hurt.
I drove my head back. Pain lit inside the back of my head and he cursed, but it didn’t stop me. Jerking against his hold, I reared and twisted and managed to get away, but instead of taking advantage of it, I turned and struck out, slapping him hard enough to leave a red mark on his cheek. I raised my hand again and he caught my wrists, jerking me back down on his lap.
“Stop.” The word came out of him in a ragged burst. “You’re going to hurt yourself. Just…just stop.”
“I’m trying to hurt you, you son of a bitch! You need me?” I said it mockingly, letting the misery inside me drip out in each and every word. “You don’t need me. The only thing you want from me is sex, Dominic. You said it yourself. I’m yours. Something to be used when you want it and discarded when you get bored.”
His hands fell away and he looked at me, a look of stunned surprise on his face. “No.” He shook his head. “That’s…no, Aleena.”
I clambered to my feet.
The red mark on his cheek looked like my hand.
The back of my head hurt and I realized, dully, that his nose was bleeding. I’d done that. He swiped his wrist under his nose and looked at the smear of blood left there. For a moment, he just stared and then lowered his hand. “No,” he said again, but the word was faint. “How can you…?”
“Do you realize that we’ve spent more than a month together and you never once took me out on a date?” I said softly. The fury was leaving me just as quickly as it had come on. “And tonight? You said we might as well go together. Like I was some convenient option. You called me your ‘companion’.” I gave him a sad smile. “At least ‘friend’ would’ve implied some amount of respect. And you wouldn’t have had to pretend to not be ashamed of me, because we all know that it’s okay to be ‘just friends’.”
Chapter 10
Dominic
I didn’t think anything she could have said would have hit me in the gut quite so hard. “You think I’m ashamed of you?”
Blood dripped down the back of my throat.
My face hurt from where she’d slapped me.
But all of that paled compared to the gaping hole that was forming inside me as I realized just how badly I’d messed up.
Eddie had told me to be careful. He’d told me she was hurting and something wasn’t right. The old bastard was a sharp one and he’d seen something between us almost from the beginning. Because he was so sharp, I should have listened. Fawna had told me. Hell, I’d even known Aleena thought I didn’t want to be seen in public with her, but I hadn’t realized just how deep it had gone. Because I hadn’t wanted to see.
Aleena’s eyes were haunted and when I reached for her, she backed away.
“I’m not an idiot, Dominic,” she said, the words hollow. She reached up to toy with her necklace and she touched the diamond collar I’d given her. She fisted her hand liked it burned to touch it and I saw her throat work. Her eyes fell away. “We don’t eat together. You never once wanted to take me out. The few times I asked if we could go out, it was like I’d asked you to the Inquisition. The one time you did ask me something that even resembled a date, you made it quite clear what my place was.”
She laughed and the sound of it stabbed through me.
“I guess I needed rules even for that. You should have explained I was expected to let perverts put their hands on me and take whatever insults rich, bitchy socialites send my way—”
The sound of shattering glass caught us both off guard. I stared at the table I’d just upended, hardly able to believe what I’d just done. It had been a long time since I’d lost control like that.
Sucking in a breath, I squeezed my eyes closed. “Stop. I…just. I fucked up. I didn’t know he’d touched you. I didn’t know he’d…I just didn’t know. I’m sorry.”
Aleena didn’t say anything.
“Please don’t leave me, Aleena.”
Again…nothing.
Terror unlike anything I’d known in a long, long time started to grow inside me and I turned, staring at her. I couldn’t lose her. “I…fuck, Aleena. Just tell me what it is you want. What you need. I don’t know how to do this. You want me to take you out on dates? Fine. We can do that.” Desperate, I looked around. She’d dropped some clothes so I grabbed them and held them out. “Get dressed. We can go out right now. You want to go dancing? The movies? Just…just you’ve got to tell me how to do this because I don’t know how.”
“What do you mean you don’t know how?” She eyed the clothes I held, almost nervously, and I realized she was still clutching clothes she’d gathered in her hands.
Feeling stupid now, I lowered my hands. I dropped down onto the bed, staring at the pale green sweater and a faded pair of jeans. “I don’t…I don’t do relationships, Aleena. These…they just aren’t my thing. I’ve told you that.”
“Oh, I get that you’re not much for relationships.” She toyed with the sleeve of the shirt she held, her eyes bouncing around. “Trust me, I’ve noticed. Because that’s about all I can do. Notice. Because I can’t get to know anything about you any other way.”
“You…” I looked at her, then away.
Tell me about the nightmares.
I laughed sourly and surged up off the bed. I got it now. I had no doubt what had driven her to ask. Penelope had definitely pulled out all the stops tonight. I’d seen the gleam in her eyes when we’d been talking just before Eddie had pulled me aside. I knew that gleam, knew she’d been causing trouble. She knew what had happened to me. If it had happened any time recently, I doubt any amount of money could have hidden it, thanks to the wonders—or atrocities—of social media. But over a decade ago, news didn’t travel the way it did now and scandals were easier to hide.
But nothing stayed hidden from everybody. Or forever.
If you had the money and knew who to ask, you could find out almost anything.
Penelope was one who had the money and she knew who to ask. I wouldn’t have even put it past her to have asked my mother, though I hoped to hell that wasn’t where she’d gotten her information. I’d never forgive that.
Tell me about the nightmares.
It was the last thing I wanted to do. Ever.
But it was the only thing I could do if I wanted to keep her. I just hoped what I told her didn’t drive her away.
Swallowing hard and wishing I had something to clear away the metallic taste of my blood, I lifted my gaze and stared at Aleena.
“When I was fifteen years old, I was kidnapped.”
Like it happened in slow motion, the clothes Aleena held dropped from her hands. I saw each piece. A lacy bra. A pink blouse. Jeans. A silky scrap that could only be panties. “What?” she whispered.
“I don’t remember exactly how it happened—how he grabbed me. I just…” I lifted my eyes to the ceiling, trying to focus on the elegant white fan pattern instead of the memories. If I gave it like a report, I could do this. It wasn’t like I hadn’t talked about it a hundred times. A thousand even. “I woke up. He had me restrained. I...”
A soft gasp escaped her.
I deliberately focused on anything but her. If I looked at her, I wouldn’t be able to finish this. I couldn’t bear to see whatever was on her face at that moment.
“He had me for a year. I was rap
ed. Beaten. Starved half the time. There were times when I thought I’d freeze. Other times when he’d just…go away and I’d be convinced I’d die down there, tied up and alone. Nobody even knowing what happened.”
“Dominic…” Her voice broke.
Her shadow fell across my line of vision and then she touched my arm. But I had to finish this. I dropped my head, looking down at my hands.
“After about a year, I escaped. If I hadn’t...” My voice trailed off for a moment, but I forced myself to go on. “They never caught him. I spent years in therapy. Tried drowning myself in alcohol and drugs and sex, but it made it worse. My life was spiraling out of control. And then, one night, right after I turned eighteen, this woman I picked up at some club...we fell asleep after and I had a nightmare. She woke me up and since the story had been in the papers, she figured out who I was.”
I paused and took a deep breath, determined to finish the story. I swallowed and continued, “Instead of pitying me, she told me about her controlling ass of an ex and how she dealt with things.” My hands curled into fists. “She’s the one who took me to Olympus. It’s a club. A bdsm club. It’s where I learned that I could be in control. All the time. And it worked. I could control sex. Anger. Pain. And as long as I was in control, I couldn’t...no one could...”
Aleena knelt in front of me, her hand gently cupping my chin and raising my head until we were face-to-face. My eyes were dry, but hers weren’t. The tears on her face, dotting her lashes, they were for me, and they gave me the strength to say what else I needed to say.
“I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know how to give you what you want, but I don’t want to lose you.”
She didn’t say anything and something cracked inside me.
I was too late.
Serving HIM continues in Vol. 5, release June 12th. Click here to get an email as soon as it’s available.
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