by Abigail Agar
Then her plan would crumble. She would not be able to get to London by herself. She didn’t know the way. She didn’t have any money. She couldn’t stay in an inn by herself. Would one dress be enough when she got to London?
What if she didn’t make a friend at the park? Where would she stay? And on and on until she realized she was stuck at her country estate.
Time went slowly. Laughter and joy were scarce. Most of her gifts were books, which she loved, but which represented one of the few approved activities she had.
Going to London at the age of fifteen was the most exciting time of her life. Every single day was a joy.
Sometimes Louisa wondered if London would be such a joy if Percy weren’t in her life. From the moment she met him, they laughed and understood each other. It was the most important relationship she had.
After dance lessons, Percy somehow started coming over every day for tea. Louisa looked forward to that time every day. He would make her laugh. He would make her think. He was so relaxed like he was part of the family.
Most women had girlfriends as their best friends, but Louisa considered Percy hers.
She could picture him as more, but she was afraid to go down that road. She didn’t and wouldn’t want to jeopardize her friendship with Percy for a chance of a love interest. She kept the whole idea of Percy being a love interest as far down in her mind as she could.
Louisa was sure Percy didn’t see her as a love interest. And she was sure she would lose him if she were even to hint at such an idea.
She tolerated whomever he courted because the woman needed to accept her so that Louisa could continue to see Percy.
And the same went for him. Luckily, Percy and Jack got along well. Somehow, she knew if they didn’t, she would have to choose between them. She couldn’t even bear to think about making that decision. She couldn’t bear losing Percy.
Almost every time Jack left the parlour and was ushered out the door by Mendon, Amelia commented on the Earl.
“He seems very interested in you, Louisa. He continues to ask you to dance, and he always visits. He even seems interested in the kind of childhood you had. I’m not sure every suitor would be interested in your background. I like him.”
Louisa smiled. “I do too. He is a nice man, and I can see myself with him. When I have doubts, I look up, see him walk up to me, and ask to dance or visit me. I think he’s the one, Mother.”
“I think the next time he visits, I’ll instruct Mendon to find your father so he can drop in and say hello.”
Chapter 2
The season was going well for Percy as well. He met a cute, quiet girl who laughed at his jokes and looked up into his face adoringly. Louisa loved to observe him. She saw her from across the ballroom. Nora stood next to him, happy to be within his orbit. They didn’t fight for the limelight. Nora was perfect for him.
“Did you come here to tell me you’re betrothed?” Louisa asked one day over tea.
Percy grinned. “No, I’m here to tell you I will be soon.”
Louisa grinned back. “That’s wonderful news. Tell me about her. Better yet, bring her around for tea. I can interrogate her myself.”
“I will. You are going to like her, Louisa. I do. We are compatible, and although she doesn’t make me dizzy in love, I know she and I will get along well. She’s not the type to stir up trouble.”
“So when are you going to let her in on your plans?” Louisa asked.
“Not yet. I’ll want to marry soon after the betrothal but not during the season, so I’ll wait.”
The following week, Nora joined Percy for tea with Louisa and her mother.
“Welcome, dear,” Louisa’s mother said, “we’ve been looking forward to meeting the woman who has captivated our Percy.”
After curtsies and bows, Nora sat and said, “And I’m pleased to meet you.” She turned to Louisa, “Percy has told me about your dance lessons. Most men groan when they think back on learning to dance, but Percy has fond memories of the experience.”
Louisa grinned. “Well, that’s because Percy used to take great glee in stepping on my toe or crushing my hand while we danced. I’m sure he’s been on his best behaviour with you Nora, but his dance skills were purposely lacking in those days.”
“Don’t believe a word she says Nora,” Percy said.
She laughed and faced him. “Somehow, I think she should be believed.”
Tea was an enjoyable experience. Both Louisa and the Duchess enjoyed Nora’s company. They both noticed a fondness Percy and Nora had for each other.
*****
Percy was impulsive. He dove into whatever caught his eye and immersed himself until something else caught his eye, and he moved on. Louisa thought he was looking for something, something just out of reach, but very important. He just thought he was restless.
He couldn’t stand being alone, and he couldn’t stand being bored. He woke late, having stayed up until the early hours of the morning.
His mind raced most of the time, and he was unable to turn it off. He had learned long ago how to hide his racing mind and restless body so it wasn’t apparent to others.
He thought of his upcoming day, his visit to Gentleman Jim’s boxing club to exhaust his body or at least bring it down a notch and his horse ride through the St James’ gardens where the hurdles course waited. If the hurdles weren’t vigorous enough for him that day, he would opt for the open track.
Then, his body under control, his mind would take over, and he would think about who he would target that day and what kind of prank he would play.
Once in London, and he met Louisa at dance lessons, he looked forward to them. She made him laugh, and he made her laugh. His mind was engaged.
When lessons were over, he somehow fell into the habit of joining her and her mother for tea every day. His townhouse was empty but for the servants, and he craved using his mind. He loathed being alone.
Cecil and Kent were best for an evening at White’s. Louisa and the Duchess were best for tea, so he watched the clock all morning until it was teatime. He checked his cravat and walked the few blocks to her townhouse. She and the Duchess welcomed him warmly.
He sat, listened, and talked. He would pull them out of topics meant for women or that were boring. He loved gossip. It made him laugh.
Every so often, the ladies would invite him to dine with them. He always accepted. Cecil and Kent ate at White’s every evening, and he always joined them. He couldn’t imagine sitting in his dining room at home eating alone.
But when he received a dinner invitation from the Duchess, he would send a note to White’s letting his friends know he wouldn’t be joining them. It was a welcome change.
He loved Louisa. He couldn’t imagine being without her, but he didn’t dare think of her as anything but a friend. He didn’t dare venture into a relationship only to have it fall apart. Then he would be left without her. He could forego an intimate relationship with her for her friendship. A friendship would last forever.
But he wouldn’t fool himself. If he could have both, he would. He never touched her for fear it would become addictive.
He watched out for whom she liked and whom she courted. He wouldn’t let her get serious about the wrong kind of man. But he made it clear to her and her love interest that he would always be in the picture.
She easily agreed that the man she ended up with also had to be aware that Percy would be part of the deal. A package deal.
Curiously, he wasn’t jealous of Jack. The man accepted him and his relationship with Louisa where he wasn’t sure other men would. He was more grateful to Jack for accepting him than jealous of him. Jack was a nice man, and Percy knew he would never do anything to make her unhappy. But heaven help him if he came between him and Louisa.
*****
After his bow, Percy sat in his chair until Louisa passed him some tea.
“What has you restless today?” she asked.
Percy blew out a long breath and shrugg
ed. “I don’t know. I woke up this way. I think I had a nightmare, but I don’t recall.” He shrugged again.
Louisa offered him a plate with cookies and biscuits, but he waved it off. “Something troubling you? Your father? Your health? Nora?”
He shook his head. “No, I’ve mentally gone down the list, and there is nothing out of the ordinary.
“I do have a question I’ve been rolling around in my head, however. I’m not sure why it even matters, but I’d like to solve it.” Percy turned to the Duchess.
“Duchess, what is your philosophy on love? I see so many different relationships on the dance floor, and I don’t know what to make of it.
“There’s the couple that you can say are truly in love. There is the couple that is very well suited and will live a contented life together without love, and there’s the couple that is pairing up because the gentleman needs an heir and the lady needs a husband.”
Louisa interrupted. “And don’t forget the couple where the woman was forced to marry by her father or by financial circumstances. Or my favourite, the woman or man who flit from one partner to another until they latch on to the person who has the most money. Just a few examples of the marriage of convenience.
Percy nodded. “I’m very contented with Nora. She is wonderful, but I’m not in love.”
Percy was silent, looking to the Duchess to see her reaction and what she would say.
“I understand your struggle, Percy. I always knew you were a sensitive soul. Very few find love, in England or anywhere else in the world. We have all seen it, so we think we too might find it, but we don’t.
“It’s rare. But what you have with Nora is strong and almost as good. You have compatibility and mutual respect. You have a single vision of your future. Don’t undervalue what you have. Many couples don’t even have that.”
Percy nodded. He just needed to accept that that’s all there was. He couldn’t hold out for love.
Somehow settling for contentment seemed like the wrong thing for him to do. He wanted love. He wanted to wake up every day next to someone special, and he wanted her to wake up to someone she thought was special as well.
Would he end up an old bachelor searching for something he would never find?
Louisa reached over and put her hand over his. “Nora is wonderful. You’ll see. You will probably be the happiest of all of us. Who knows? Maybe you will fall in love with her over time.”
Percy lifted his head and looked into Louisa’s eyes. “What about you, Louisa?”
She gave him a small smile. “I’m in a similar relationship as you. The only difference is I’m content with it. Jack’s a wonderful man, and I expect to have a good life with him. I thank God I was able to choose my partner. I feel sorry for women who are forced to marry. I doubt those marriages ever work out.”
The Duchess spoke, “You two are lucky to have found your partners. I agree with Louisa that marriages of convenience are usually unhappy marriages, but not always so. The Duke and I were lucky. We barely knew each other when we married. It could have gone so wrong, but it didn’t. You’re best thinking what you have instead of what you don’t have.”
“Thank you, Duchess,” Percy said. “I think marriage questions are best answered by married people.”
“I think you are right,” she said.
Chapter 3
Louisa’s father, Frederick Haddington, the Duke of Rutland, enjoyed dabbling in investments. Although he didn’t restrict himself to the import and export business, it held the most interest for him.
And it afforded him a great deal of time with his brother, Hobart. He and Hobart were close, and it was rare that they didn’t see each other every day. Frederick came to Hobart’s warehouse to watch the comings and goings of crates filled with merchandise. Hobart oversaw the crates of cargo. Shipments came in and went out; the brothers were always investing in something.
Frederick entered the dockside warehouse alive with men carting crates from a cargo ship into an entrance as large as open barn doors. He looked for Hobart and found him near the gaping door, parchment in hand.
Hobart read every crate then pointed to the men carrying it to its destination. The controlled chaos continued for over two hours before the men were paid, and the large doors were closed and barred.
Hobart approached Frederick. “I would have sent a runner to let you know when we were done. You didn’t have to wait so long.”
Frederick smiled at his brother. “It never gets old for me. I enjoy watching you.”
Hobart pointed his chin towards his office, his hand overflowing with packing documents attesting to the contents of each crate. “I need a drink, and you probably need one too.”
He went to the sideboard and opened the decanter. Frederick waited silently, hearing the splash of whisky hit the side of the glass. Hobart handed Frederick his glass then lifted his glass and clinked Frederick’s.
Hobart made a toast. “To continued shipments that take three hours to unload.”
Frederick grinned. “Hear, hear.”
Hobart leaned back in his chair and smacked his lips. “I’ve got eighty per cent of this shipment spoken for. I need to find buyers for just twenty per cent. This will be one of our most profitable hauls.”
Frederick nodded. “My investors will be pleased. We’ll take our cut and use the remainder to buy more?”
“It’s what I’d like to do. If you ever want to do anything else, you just need to let me know. I’ve saved enough to continue to buy and sell shipments on my own, but I would be happy to work with you.”
Frederick took a drink and breathed out. “Did the crew have any trouble with pirates? There was another story in the newspaper this week that they burned down a ship in the open seas. If that happened to us, and I didn’t carry insurance, we’d be wiped out. What have you heard?”
Hobart nodded. “I heard the men say the ship’s captain refused to let them board, so the pirates shot burning arrows at them. I asked my captain about the pirates. He said he never saw any ships between here and India. He’s sure the pirates were sending a message. Pirates don’t sail the seas to go home empty-handed.
“He wanted to keep the guards, though. His crew can’t fight the pirates and sail away from them at the same time. If the guards can keep the pirates from boarding, they are worth every farthing they’re paid.
“So my plan is to get all the crates that are spoken for to their rightful owners, sell the remainder of the crates then rustle up business that we want to export. Our fabric is still a hot commodity in India, so I’ll start with the mills.”
“And that’s where I come in. I will raise the capital. Shall we say two months?”
“Six weeks should do it.”
“We’ll meet next week for the investor’s money?” Frederick said.
“See you then, Frederick, unless I see you before.”
*****
Frederick and Hobart had always been close. Frederick was three years older than Hobart so had naturally inherited the title, but Hobart never once mentioned that fact in the forty plus years they had shared the planet.
Their parents were another story. They both ignored, or worse, belittled Hobart while they doted on Frederick.
Frederick spent too much time wondering why his parents were like that. When he asked, they denied it. But there was no exclusive education for Hobart. There were no summers on the estates of other sons of Dukes. There were no trips to London to meet boys his age who would eventually serve in the House of Lords with Frederick. Because he didn’t have rank. He was nothing.
Frederick never considered him nothing. They were inseparable.
When they were children, Hobart crept into Frederick’s room every night, and they slept in Frederick’s huge bed. Their parents were never early risers, so it was rebellious and comforting, and that amused them both.
Another show of brotherhood didn’t go over so well. They decided to become ‘blood brothers,’ and so they carved an X
in part of their upper arms. Unfortunately, when it came to Frederick, he became over-zealous in carving the X in Hobart’s arm.
The cut was deep, and it wouldn’t stop bleeding, so Frederick ran to the village to get the healer. She and Frederick rode horses back to where Hobart laid, blood on his sleeve and on the ground in a pool.
Hobart was white, and there was a sheen of sweat covering his body. Frederick held his hand as Shona cleaned and bandaged the wound.
She looked at Frederick. “You need footmen or stable boys to get him to his bed. I suggest the Duke stay in the dark about this. Do you understand?”
