by Zoe Dawson
Ever since he’d run into all those flying bullets, Dana had this horrible feeling in her stomach and the food, although quite tasty, did nothing to alleviate it. She couldn’t get the image out of her head, feeling shell-shocked and, damn it, close to tears.
Needing some distance from him, she pushed back her chair and rose. He glanced up with a quizzical look and she said, “I’m going to talk to Sienna about some clothes.”
He nodded and returned to his scrutiny of the bar and the area, his vigilance was always there, on him like a mantle.
“Hi,” she said approaching the bar. “I’m pretty much out of clean clothes and I was hoping to maybe buy something off you. Could you spare anything?”
“Of course. Please follow me.” She went through a doorway behind the bar into a small apartment. There was a kitchen off to the right next to a closed door. She ducked into an adjacent room, motioning for Dana to follow her. Despite the heat and the humidity, it wasn’t bad inside, sparse, but neat and tidy, just like the bar.
Inside the small room, she went to a set of drawers and opened one, pulling out a couple pairs of pants, then two shirts. “Will these do?”
They were clean and dry. After what Dana’s current clothes had been through, they were heavenly. “Oh, God, yes. Thank you. How much?”
“Give me your dirty clothes, and I’ll get them cleaned for you for a small price. Is that fair?”
“Yes, totally. I’ll bring them to you later.”
A weak, old voice called out, and Sienna looked toward the doorway. “Oh, excuse me. Why don’t you try them on to see if they fit? I’ll be right back.”
Dana didn’t want to get them that close to her, so she held them up and decided they would be fine. After a few minutes, Sienna came back. “I’m sorry. That’s my mother. She’s ill.”
Her heart tightened. “No apologies necessary. I’ll let you get back to work. Thanks again.”
She came back out into the cantina. Since Ruckus had already gotten the key, he was waiting for her. It wasn’t much, but it was a damn sight better than a tent on the lumpy ground in the middle of the jungle hands down. Feeling shaky, she said, “You go first.” Shucking off her pants, she then sank down onto the bed. “I’m going to enjoy this luxury for a minute.”
But what she needed was some processing time to work through all the stuff that had happened since she’d decided to make this trip into the Darién.
When he came out of the ramshackle shower, she was still sitting cross-legged on the bed. It was as if she hadn’t moved since they came into the small room. With nothing but a towel around his waist, hiding his rigid dick, a hard on so aching and painful he needed her, wanted her, the adrenaline in his system riding him hard, he towel-dried his hair with a thin, but clean towel, his vision obscured for a moment. With humor in his voice, he said, “That shower isn’t big enough for a mouse.” When he dropped the towel, he saw her face and rushed across the room. “Babe, what is it?”
She was crying and through this whole ordeal he hadn’t seen her shed a tear, but now they were tracking down her face, a woman’s most potent secret weapon. He swallowed hard. He knew how to insert into enemy territory right under the enemy’s nose, blow shit up, and kill a man with his bare hands. But this…this was delicate and he wasn’t a delicate man. He was a hard, badass, but Dana had gotten under his armor, and he couldn’t figure out how to get her out.
When she didn’t say anything, he didn’t know what to do. He panicked, wrapped his arms around her and drew her hard against him, rocking her gently. “Tell me how to make it right?”
She pressed her hot face against his damp skin, her tears mingling with the moisture already there. He cupped the back of her head and said, “C’mon, babe, I’m flying blind here.”
“I had no idea,” she whispered. “No idea,” she said, then gasped on a shuddering sigh.
“About what?” He leaned back so he could see her beautiful face. Framing it, he said gently, “You’re safe with me.”
She shook her head. “Maybe physically…no, maybe not even that. But, I had no idea until just now.”
He stiffened. “What the fuck do you mean? I wouldn’t hurt you. I say I’m going to throttle you, but that’s just mean, SEAL man talk when you get me so mad I want to chew nails.”
“You’re so clueless. I feel safe with you, but it feels dangerous at the same time.”
“Dangerous? Because I’m a SEAL.” He was struggling here. He was used to conversing with men who said what the hell they meant, not some riddling woman who was making a freaking crossword puzzle out of a simple conversation.
“Oh, God. Protect me from dense men. Do I really need to spell it out?”
He tried to be patient, but Ruckus wasn’t a patient man. Action was really his middle name. “Babe…so help me, spill before I go insane.”
“You’re the kind of guy that runs toward the bullets and not away from them.”
For a minute, he just didn’t get it. What was she talking about? Of course, he ran toward conflict. He was a SEAL. It took him a moment to tamp down his confusion. “Ah, do I need to give you my resume? It’s what I do. It’s my job and out there is my office.”
With a slight smile and an intense look, she said, “But when you have a bad day at the office, you have a really bad day.”
He laughed and dragged her against him. “That’s true. But it comes with the territory just as your smart, sassy mouth comes with your territory.”
Her eyes narrowed and was it crazy? He just loved her like this, giving back just as good as he gave. “Don’t start. I’m trying to have a moment here,” she growled.
“What kind of moment and could you make it fast? You smell and need a shower.”
She rolled her eyes and wiped at her tears. “You are such a gentleman.”
“Aw, no. Not me. No GQ here, just Ruckus.”
“Yeah, that’s what’s driving me insane.”
“You, too?”
She smiled a long-suffering smile, shoved him hard and got off the bed, heading toward the shower. Before she went through the door, she turned to him. “I’m only going to say this to you because you saved my life, and I’m having a momentary lapse in judgment where you’re concerned.”
He reclined, his body surging every moment. For them, this was foreplay. “Lay it on me.”
“You’re brave. I’ve never seen courage before. Oh, yeah, maybe the silent kind when my mom was dying from cancer, but not straight out, take-no-prisoners, full-metal jacket, freaking pull-out-all-the-stops bravery. I’m blown away, you idiot. I care for you. I care what happens to you.”
“Does that mean I can get some?” he asked deadpan. She whipped off her shirt and threw it at him with an exasperated huffing laugh. “You are such a bastard.”
He caught it, the material still warm from her body. “That’s a yes.” He smirked and slipped off the bed, stalking toward her. “Because, babe, adrenaline gives me a fucking hard on like you wouldn’t believe. Like making love all night kinda erection.”
“You just said that the shower isn’t big enough for even a mouse.
“Did I say that? Fuck, it’s not even big enough for my damn dick. He reached her and his body went even more rigid if that was possible. Adrenaline and Dana equaled the biggest, baddest, I’ve-got-to-be-inside-her-for-hours erection. He dragged her up against him and she let out a soft moan when she felt that bad boy between her legs. “Oh, that’s a definite yes. So, I’m a SEAL, I’ll improvise.”
“You won’t need to. I’m not letting you touch me until I’m as clean as you are.”
“What?”
She pressed her hand in the middle of his chest and shoved him a step out the door, then shut it in his face.
“Well, hell,” he muttered.
9
Another small modern convenience that she had taken for granted. A simple shower. She took her time, still working at the emotion that was tying her up in knots. As long as she lived,
she would never forget the sight of him running towards such danger. She didn’t want to cry in front of him again. With trembling fingers, her body still on fire, she rubbed vigorously at her hair, no blow dryer in sight, so she combed and braided it to keep the wet strands out of her way.
Tucking the end of the towel right between her breasts, she opened the bathroom door and stopped dead. She was met with the most arousing sight she’d ever seen in her life.
Bowie was on the bed, naked, except for his dog tags, his thick erection hadn’t abated, because his hand was wrapped around it. His eyes were closed and his face taut with pleasure.
Her stomach did a free-fall tumble that had nothing to do with the emotions she had been wrestling with and everything to do with her intense attraction to Bowie. God, the man was so sinfully gorgeous he ought to be deemed illegal. Especially the way he was working his shaft, exuding an earthy, sexual magnetism, one she was finding dangerous on so many levels—physically, emotionally, mentally just as she’d told him. The fact that this man had the ability to affect her so completely was a scary prospect she wasn’t prepared to face or deal with.
She wanted to remember him like this when they did part ways.
“Are you starting without me?”
He chuckled, a low, rumbling sound that stimulated her from head to toe. He stirred, his eyes opening slowly and only to half-mast over that heartbreaking, velvety blue, a dark brow lifted lazily, as did one corner of his mouth.
“Nope, just keeping things at attention.”
He reached up, but she slapped his hand away. “Just give me a minute, Lieutenant Pushy. I’m still taking a tour of what you have to offer.” It was a lot of gorgeousness to take in with his broad shoulders, wide, heavily muscled chest, rounded biceps. His erection lying on a set of very impressive abs, a tantalizing line of hair leading to a woman’s bliss.
“Are you? Seems to me that I should be accorded the same courtesy.” She stood there, his hot blue eyes caressing every inch of her, exuding a sexual kind of tension that seemed to increase with each passing second. “C’mon, cupcake, get rid of the towel. I’m dying to see you.” Even when he was pleading, he was all arrogant, presumptuous male.
Unable to refuse him anything or herself for that matter, she set her hand at the tuck of the towel and released the tension. As the terry fell away, his eyes flashed, taking in the whole length of her, his face softening. “Damn, babe.”
She put a knee on the bed unable to take her eyes off all his naked flesh and rippling muscles. She wanted to put her mouth so many places on his body, she was momentarily nonplussed. His dark hair was tousled and spiky, thick and glossy, adding to his badass appeal.
“I really like the way you’re looking at me, but I’d like more action.” When she didn’t move, he grabbed her by the waist and lifted her on top of him. Her heart stuttered and then resumed its frantic pace. She dipped her head down, covering his tantalizing mouth, the stubble on his face scratchy and arousing. She kissed her way to his chin, breathing deep of his scent, a mixture of soap and man. “Ride me, cupcake. I need that sugar rush.”
It was an order she wasn’t going to refuse. Aching to taste him, all of him, continuing the sensual journey, she moved down the column of that strong throat, licking the taut cords. Then to the hard points of his rigid nipples. She laved them, grazed the tips with the edge of her teeth, her nails scraping over his rib cage down to his waist. A groan rumbled from his chest as she traveled her way lower, spreading hot, wet kisses on his hard, rippled abs and flat belly. Then she used the tip of her tongue and her nails on the tantalizing flesh just above his erection while he sucked in a surprised breath in response to her ministrations. She bit his hip and he jerked, his breath ragged.
She wrapped her fingers around the hard, velvet-textured length of him and felt him pulse in her tight grip. A drop of fluid appeared, and she rubbed the silky moisture over the big, plum-shaped head of his cock.
She took him into her mouth, his skin hot and salty against the stroke of her tongue. He shuddered and wrapped her braid in his hand, and she sucked him, taking him as deep as she could, finally giving into that fantasy she had out in the jungle. She pleasured him with her mouth, teased him with her tongue, and aroused him to a fever pitch of need that made his entire body shake with the restraint of trying to hold back.
“Oh, damn,” he breathed and frantically tried to tug her back up, “if you don’t stop doing that, I’m going to come.”
Since she still had more interesting things she wanted to explore before he came, she complied. With one last irresistible lick along his shaft and a gentle, then harder suck to the tip that made him shift his hips and groan deep, she kissed her way back up his body until she was straddling him again, hard against his groin.
She guided his erection into her, so wet from kissing his hard, smooth skin, sucking and licking his shaft. Her sex stretched tight around his width as his nostrils flared, and stark male desire burned in his eyes. He clutched her waist and rocked her tighter against his straining body, setting a rhythm she knew would take him quickly to orgasm.
She rolled her hips and his head arched back, his face contorting with pleasure, his breathing fast. He groaned again, the lost and mindless look of him only fueled her movements until she was rocking hard and fast on him.
“Dana,” he whispered, jackknifing against her, hard and strong and his groan of surrender in her ear was the sexiest sound she’d ever heard.
For several heartbeats, he held her hard against him, his hand smoothing rhythmically up and down her back, both of them spent from running for four days. His body was hard beneath hers, so solid and warm.
When she lifted her head, she met his soft blue eyes, the desire banked. She pressed her mouth against his in a fierce, wild, hot kiss, then he shifted, and rolled to his side, cradling her in his arms.
She was still working on coming down from the storm of emotion, but she could at last collect her senses. She hugged him and stroked his hair, profoundly moved by the care he had taken with her, knowing the pleasure she had given him. Closing her eyes against the sting of tears and unbearable constriction in her throat, she continued to stroke his head, needing to give him comfort, so full of feeling for him that she could barely stand it. He had gone from this controlling jerk of a stranger to this guy who she knew better. But damned if she didn’t want to know what fueled that anger she’d glimpsed more than once.
She ached for him to confide in her, but she couldn’t expect him to go that far if he wasn’t feeling it. Bowie tightened his hold on her, his chest expanding as he took a deep, unsteady breath. Fingering the soft silk of his hair, she kissed his temple, a nearly unbearable tenderness filling her chest.
“Damn, woman, I think you unraveled me.”
“Then we’re even,” she whispered against his cheek.
Bracing his weight on one arm, he lifted his head, his touch leaving her breathless as he kissed her mouth, brushing his lips over and over hers, the caress gentle and searching. Inhaling unevenly, Bowie slid his arms around her in a warm, hard embrace, deepening the kiss as she smoothed her hand up the center of his back.
It was as though he couldn’t get enough of that soft, caressing intimacy, and it was a long time later when he reluctantly eased away. Brushing strands of hair back with his knuckles, he lifted her chin and gave her another light kiss, then released his breath. “Come to bed with me, beautiful,” he whispered gruffly.
She melted more than she had since she’d met this man. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him some more. She didn’t know why, but the huskiness in his request made her want to cry. Fighting against the surge of emotion, and praying she wasn’t making a mistake here, they crawled under the covers, both of them exhausted. She snuggled right up against all that muscle.
Sliding his hand up the back of her head, he deepened the kiss, molding her against him with the weight of his body. “I want to hold you, cupcake.”
Overwhelmed by emotion, Dana turned into his embrace, her naked breasts grazing his chest. He captured one and kneaded it. Then he slipped his hand to her hip and across her back, separating her legs and settling her between his thighs. Dana’s breath caught at the feel of his naked body molded fully against hers. Cupping her jaw, he kissed her, then nestled her head into the curve of his shoulder. “Go to sleep, babe,” he whispered gruffly.
The room was still dark, but early-morning sounds were filtering in when Dana awoke. Hovering between awake, but not awake, she heard the water running and her eyes popped open. The small room, the small town…Ruckus…Bowie. Making love with him had, of course, changed things from their confrontational relationship to this new one. She was sure nothing about him had changed except for the way he looked at her now. He’d still be a hard ass, pushy, it’s the mission, ma’am, SEAL. No doubts. Expecting or thinking about a future with him would be counterproductive. After this trip, she was off to South Africa for a story on child soldiers, then traveling to a small city in Russia that was rumored was a stop off point for white slavery.
Her happiness wasn’t important; there were so many people suffering in the world. If she could do one small thing to shine a light where there was darkness, she would.
With a hard shot to her gut, she remembered she did have to make a quick trip to San Diego and Jeff. There was no way she could continue a relationship with him now. She already knew it before she’d left for the Gap. She’d been a coward, trying to put off the inevitable because Jeff had been a port in the storm when her mom had died. He’d been so wonderful she felt terrible, but nothing could overcome how she felt right now about the man who was only now in the bathroom.
She rose, closing her eyes, drawing up her knees and pulling the sheet around her, memories swarming in and making her go weak inside. She locked her arms around her legs and rested her forehead on her upraised knees, the flurry in her chest leaving her light-headed. Damn, but it had been unbelievable. But what made her pulse labor was recalling how she had wakened in the middle of the night and found Bowie curled around her back, his arms securing her against him, holding her in the shelter of his body.
