Before I can speak, Claire chimes in. “I agree with Alec, Willow. He’s right. I think it would be nice if we could all go somewhere together and just hang out for three days. God only knows I’ve needed a break and I’d love to spend time together like we used to. I miss having you all around.”
“Yeah, vacation!” Connor adds, pointing his chicken bone at me.
My eyes perk up. That sounds really fun actually. Even if it’s not just Tony and me, it will be Tony, me, and all of our closest friends. The friends I love will be with me... Oh, and Marya.
I nod my head to agree with Claire. “I like that idea.” I turn to Tony. I’d been thinking that we could venture out and try to find Lee and our people. I’d love to see my father and Sabby to make sure they are alright. I’m sure Connor wants to see his family too. I know that’s not the best move though. The last thing I need right now is to lead Zack and his army towards them. “Tony, do you think we’d be able to go to your old cabin by the lake for a few days? It’s the only place I can think of that would be a good fit for our situation.”
Tony begins to relax for the first time tonight. I believe in him, his friends believe in him, maybe now he believes in himself. He nods his head and with his cool demeanor says, “Yeah, I think we can arrange that.”
All of us smile and agree to gather our things and meet back here in twenty minutes. Before we leave the room, I call to Alec, “Hey Alec, do you mind sticking around for a quick second. I need to talk to you alone.”
Both Marya and Tony look a little uncomfortable, but they leave the room along with Connor and Claire.
Alec sits down next to me. “What’s going on?” He looks at me with interested navy eyes.
I’m not sure where to start, but I know I need to tell Alec about his dad. “I saw your dad.”
“Really?” he asks. His face is neither filled with excitement by the news or disappointment. It’s something right in between the two emotions.
“Yes...” I look at him a bit uncomfortably and bite my lip.
Alec leans in towards me. “I can tell you’re nervous about saying something. What is it? Is he a Reaper?”
I shake my head sadly. “No, he’s not a Reaper. He’s connected with Zack. He helped him keep me hostage.”
Alec’s face contorts in anger. “Did he hurt you?” He puts his hand on mine.
I look down at our hands together. It doesn’t feel romantic, it feels like a friend concerned over another friend’s wellbeing. “He slapped me.”
“What?” He slams his other fist down on the table.
I flinch. “He’s not good, Alec.” Tears come to my eyes as I think about how Blake treated me. I think about my own father and how I could never fathom him doing anything like Alec’s father did. I know it will hurt for Alec to know this about his own flesh and blood, but he has to know.
Alec looks away from me for a moment, processing my words. I see his jaw clench. “I had a feeling he was in cahoots with Dr. Hastings...” He takes a deep breath and then turns to look at me. His eyes are filled with pain and betrayal. “I’m so sorry, Willow.”
I put my hand on his this time and shake my head. “It’s not your fault, Alec. You can’t control your family. I just wanted you to know. I wouldn’t feel right not telling you about it.”
He nods his head sadly. “I’m glad you told me. If I see that old man, we are going to hash it out big time. I can’t believe he hit you.”
“Don’t think about it, Alec. I’m safe now. I’m here. We don’t need to worry about your father right now. Just know that if you see him, he’s not to be trusted,” I say.
“I know.” Alec’s shoulders are slumped. I pull him into a hug. His feelings are strong and I have a hard time filtering them out. It’s one thing to be betrayed or disappointed by a person, but to have that person be your own father… it’s something that cuts your heart, a deep bleeding gash type of cut. We hug each other as tight as we can, finding solace in our hold. When he pulls back, he sniffs and tries to blink away the moisture that’s built in front of his eyes.
“We should go get ready,” I tell him.
“Yes. Don’t forget your coat.” He tries but fails to find a smile.
“Definitely!” I stand up and allow him to lead me out of the room.
Tony stays with Erik, at Erik’s request of course, while we go pack. It doesn’t take long to get the few precious items I own. I pick up the flower ring Alec gave me so long ago. It has long since dried out, so the petals are very delicate. I put it back carefully in my journal and place it with the rest of the items in my backpack. Placing a hand in my back pocket, I feel my mother’s letter tucked safely inside.
I run into Candy and Jake outside my room. “Hey, Willow,” Candy says a little uncertainly.
“Hey, what’s up?” I ask, even though I have an idea of what’s up based solely on her emotions. I had asked Claire to go and see if Candy wanted to come with us. I can tell that she’s not ready for that yet.
“I hope you don’t mind, but I can’t go with you,” she says. Then she raises an eyebrow. “I guess you already knew that, huh?”
I know how much she hates me using my gifts on her. Even if my eye color didn’t give it away, Candy would always know what I’m doing. “Sorry...” I look down at my shoes and back up at her. “You are worried that Zack still has control of him, aren’t you?”
She nods her head. “I still have a hard time processing how badly my brother treated me the last time. I don’t ever want to see him or have any contact at all with him. He’s just like my father.”
“I understand. We are taking Tony away and we’ll make sure that Zack has lost the ability to control him. I hope after that, you will be able to trust being around him again. I don’t want that to hurt our friendship. Zack has already taken away too much from the two of us.” I try not to let my emotions get even more heightened at the thought of how many people Candy’s family has hurt.
Her eyes look sad as she nods her head. “I will. Please don’t tell Tony though. I don’t want him to feel bad. This has nothing to do with him.”
“I won’t say anything.” I give her a hug. I’m glad that it’s nowhere near as awkward as it used to be.
“Good luck, Willow,” she says before she turns and links her hand with Jake’s. He gives me a smile and a nod before they walk away. Jake’s not a man of many words.
“Thanks,” I call back at them.
I find Claire on my way to our assigned meeting spot and she links our arms. “This is going to be nice, three days of peace and quiet.” She squeezes my arm and I can’t help but feel a bit of excitement myself. Twenty minutes later, and not a second too soon, we’re all assembled and ready to leave. Erik wishes us well as we set off towards the lake house.
The night is crisp and I’m thankful for the extra layers I bothered to put on. I look over at Marya as she shares a private joke with Alec. She giggles and hits his arm.
I feel a twinge of jealousy but it bypasses quickly as I slide my hand into Tony’s. I can’t help but notice how warm he is, even though outside it feels bitterly cold. We have to take several breaks to let Tony rest. I can tell everyone is getting tired, but Tony takes the cake. He tries to remain strong, but I can tell he doesn’t act the way he used to…ever since I reaped all the powers from him. A twinge of guilt presses through me now that I realize the cause of the major change in Tony. I try to remind myself that I saved him and that was the cost of doing so. I didn’t try to take all of his powers intentionally.
We arrive at the lake house right before dawn. The sky takes on pink and blue hues that reflect over the surface of the water. The mountains in the distance make for one of the most picturesque backgrounds. It’s quite lovely. Tony goes around to a knot in one of the trees and emerges with a key. He unlocks the door and we all shuffle in.
We follow Tony into the living room and all but collapse onto the furniture. Tony and I take the couch, Connor and Claire take the love seat
, and Alec and Marya make a pallet on the floor. The second our eyes close, we’re out.
CHAPTER 9
I slowly inject the dark green liquid into Tony’s vein. My heart is accelerating at unnatural speeds, pounding in my ear, as I empty the entire syringe into his arm. I pray that this will work. There is too much at risk. Could he die because of this? I pick up the next needle. The thick, bright red liquid looks wrong. It’s not normal, but I already know that its ingredients are more than they appear. Even still, I cringe as I bring it up to Tony’s arm. “I love you,” I tell him before I empty the contents into his bloodstream.
My eyes dart open and I stare up at the wooden rafters of Tony’s log cabin, trying to regain composure. My heart is still beating hard in my chest.
Tony rustles a little next to me and opens his eyes. He looks around confused for a moment until his eyes land on me. I give him a warm smile and wrap my arms around him, letting him feel safe. This is the first time in a while that he’s been able to wake up and not feel the threat of Zack looming over him.
“Morning,” he says softly in a gruff voice.
“Morning.” I nestle my head into the crook between his shoulder and neck. We lay like that for a while. His sent is intoxicating. As I breathe him in, I mentally try to will my heart to calm down. I’m starting to notice the differences between a vision and a dream. The visions have a slight haze around them. It is as if not everything around the story itself is permanent; it could be smudged out easily like an eraser would. But what did that mean? I hate to think of the ramifications to the contents of that red shot. I rub my eyes with a shaky hand. I decide not to tell Tony about it right away. Not until I know what it means.
I feel Tony shift beneath me and sit up. “How about we make a fire and get some grub going. I’m starving.”
My eyes light up. I bite my lip. “Ramen?” I question, hoping that’s what he has in mind.
He shakes his head playfully at me. “You’re cracking me up, Willow. Yes, I’ll get out some Ramen.” I clap my hands almost a little too loudly, but I can’t help it. The second he said we’d have Ramen, my salivary glands went into overdrive.
Tony and I quietly put on our shoes and slip out the front door. He brings his ax with him so he can chop some wood. I help him gather the weathered logs next to the house while he chops them down to size. I can tell he tires out quickly. The way he swings the ax now looks like it takes much more effort than before. I think about stepping in and taking over, but knowing Tony would never want to hand in his man card, I think better of it. Before long, we both have handfuls of wood to carry back to the lake house.
Tony carries about half of what I carry and I can tell by his grumbling that it makes him more than peeved. I try to ignore his comments that aren’t aimed at me, but at himself. More and more, I start stacking on the guilt though. I know that he’d have no problem doing these seemingly simple tasks if it weren’t for me. We stack the wood on the front porch and take a few pieces in with us to start the fire.
When we get back inside, everyone is starting to wake up. Connor looks like his back hurts from sleeping so awkwardly, while Claire has her head in the crook of his shoulder. She’s still fast asleep. He shakes her shoulder and she wakes with a start. I laugh to myself, thinking that Connor would be a pretty comfortable pillow.
I place the logs in the fire and Tony sets to light them with a piece of paper and flint stone. I find it fascinating to watch him make the fire start.
Once the flames are in full swing, we warm our hands over the fire and the others move closer to join us. Marya takes a seat next to me, still wrapped in one of Tony’s quilts. Alec places his hands on either side of her to help warm her up. How nice of him...
I stand up and volunteer to go to the well and fetch water. Tony stands as well, not wanting me to be alone. I give him a half smile. It’s sweet, really.
I hold his hand, placing the bucket in my other. The birds chirp overhead and then fall silent. A cold wind blows past us, making me shiver. “Smells like snow,” Tony says simply.
“Snow?” I question. After getting myself psyched up about Project ELE and the whole, ‘warming the earth to unlivable temperatures’, it makes no sense at all. It’s hard to wrap my mind around it.
Tony stops me by tugging gently on my arm. I turn to face him. The wind blows my hair and a few strands stick to my frozen face. Tony reaches up and carefully tucks it behind my ears. His fingers graze my cheek. “You’re so beautiful,” he says simply. My gaze drops as my shy side sets in. Any time someone is that frank with me, it throws me for a loop. He doesn’t let my gaze wander long before his index finger brings my chin back up to face him. “In my wildest dreams I never thought that I would be able to be near you again without the fear of hurting you. “The pain he felt is apparent in his brown eyes. I open my mouth, but he holds his hand up to stop me from speaking. “I need to say this first. I’m so sorry, Willow. I thought that being attacked by my parents, and then seeing them killed, would be the worst thing I’d ever be forced to go through. This...this was excruciating.” His eyes water ever so slightly. “There were times that I blacked out the episodes where Zack controlled me. I was grateful for the times I blacked out. But...the times that killed me,” he pounds his chest with his fist, “were when I was aware of Zack controlling me. I saw you through his eyes. I tried to fight but no matter how hard I tried to fight him, he won. I thought about taking my life...”
“No, Tony!” My eyes are pooled with tears now.
He holds his hand up again, asking me to let him finish. The emotion on his face is more than I can bear, but I let him continue. “I thought about it but I couldn’t live with myself if I took the easy way out. I knew Zack would just find another person to do his bidding. I promised myself that I would fight every day if I had to, in order to come back to you eventually.” He grabs my hand in his. “Will you ever be able to forgive me for what I did to you?”
I wipe my eyes with my fingertips and smile gingerly at him. “I can’t.” A crushed look overcomes his features. I shake my head quickly. “No wait, that’s not what I mean! I meant that I don’t need to forgive you, Tony. It wasn’t you that hurt me. I never once thought it was you or blamed you for what happened. I knew it was that monster controlling you. There’s no reason to accept your apology because you’ve done nothing wrong. You were a victim.” He opens his mouth but I pull a Tony and raise my hand to stop him. “I need to say this first.” I give him a half grin and I watch him relax a small bit when I start talking again. “I never thought for a second I would lose you forever. Sometimes it seemed that all hope was lost, but I never let it slip permanently from my grasp. I love you, Tony. I always will, no matter what. I am so thankful that somehow you came back to me…even if it meant I had to reap the one thing you probably loved most about yourself. “The last part comes out in almost a whisper as I admit to something I’ve tried to suppress ever since I reaped his powers. The guilt tries to consume all of me and I try to hold on to the fact that had I not done that, he may have been gone from me forever. But what if I didn’t stop there? What if I killed him? Those are the questions that haunt me.
Tony shakes his head defiantly. “If you think that losing my powers was worse than not being able to have you, then you have it all wrong. Willow, I would have done anything to get back to you. Cut off my limbs, take away my sight, let me hear no longer…that would have been a better existence than losing you.”
My heart wants to scream at this man before me. I can’t be worth all of that…can I? I’m just a single person in this huge world. A little fish in a big pond. How could I mean that much to him? Or to anyone for that matter? I drop the bucket at my feet and wrap my arms around Tony, making sure not to squeeze too tight. I close the distance and let my lips meld to his. Tony wastes no time returning my declaration of love.
“I love you,” I say between our kisses.
He places his hand on the back of my head and forces me closer.
We kiss deeper than ever before and my stomach dances in rhythm. Cool flakes of snow dance off my cheeks. Just being with Tony makes me feel so warm inside that I swear I can hear the flakes sizzle when they touch my skin. We break apart at the same time, opening our eyes.
We both look up at the sky and are met with falling snow, the first I’ve seen in a long time. I stick my tongue out and let the snowflakes fall in my mouth. The cool sensation makes me think of ice cream.
I look back at Tony, who’s apparently been watching me this whole time with a funny smile. “Beautiful,” he mutters, kissing me lightly on the lips. I return his kiss with one of my own.
“We better go get the water before someone comes looking for us,” Tony says jokingly. I pick up the pail and grab Tony’s hand; together we draw water from the well.
When we open the front door, swirls of snow drift in with us. We hurry in and I place the heavy bucket of water on the floor, while Tony closes the door. We both b-line it for the fire, rubbing our hands over the warmth.
“How far did you have to go?” Alec asks.
I bite my lip, trying not to let him see my smile. “You know...it’s a little ways,” I say, hoping he takes my vague answer and doesn’t question me further. I don’t dare look his way though, because I know he’ll see right through my façade.
Claire gives me the look. You know, the one where she knows what’s going on, even if no one else does.
I try to hide my smile but fail miserably.
“Let’s get some grub,” Tony says, changing the subject. I should have known he’d have my back.
No one bats their eyes at the mention of food. Connor and Alec help Tony prepare the food ‘for the girls’ as they said. I find it humorous to see the guys in the kitchen while the girls are parked in the living room by the fire. The only thing I’m not so sure about is sitting shoulder to shoulder with Marya. Oh, how this girl gets to me. If she starts asking for relationship advice though…I’m outta here.
Surviving ELE (ELE Series #4) Page 11
