by Anne Mercier
Lex sits down on the sofa by me.
"Is this some kind of trick?" I ask, not trusting anyone—not after what happened.
Raven's eyes widen. "No! Oh my God, I never even thought…" She shakes her head. "I'm sorry Olivia. I didn't think. I can personally vouch for Candace's sincerity. I've known her a long time. She just got caught up with the wrong people and couldn't break away."
I look at Lex who shrugs a shoulder.
"As far as we know, Candace hasn't done anything to you. It was just Brittany with her bitch mouth and Alison with her—well, yeah," Alexa says.
I think back and remember seeing Candace wince when Brittany started her shit at a couple parties. She always stood in the background, looking very uncomfortable and out of place.
"Okay, but I'm saying that cautiously. I can't trust anyone right now," I confess.
"I can understand that," Raven says. "You're out for six weeks, right?"
"Maybe less depending on my ribs," I tell her. "I can still cheer with the cast—I think. I'll have to ask my doctor."
"Okay. You can still wear the uniform and attend the games until your doctor clears you. Does that sound okay?" Raven asks.
I nod slowly. "It does. Thank you for being so accommodating."
She just smiles. "It's my pleasure."
After she leaves, I look at Lex.
"Did that just happen?"
She nods.
"How did she know where to look? I mean Destiny, North Carolina, is but a speck on the map," I wonder aloud.
"I bet I know," Alexa replies.
"Spill."
She simply says, "Sebastian."
My heart flutters. Is there anything he won't do for me?
"That'd explain it."
Lex leaves the room and I settle back onto the sofa. A few minutes later she comes back into the room with a glass of vileness.
"Ugh," I whine.
She rolls her eyes. "It's not that bad—and it's good for you. You'll get all the nutrition you need since you can't really chew."
I give her a look.
Bash stands in the doorway. "It's a protein smoothie—chocolate flavored with pureed fresh strawberries blended in. Suck it up, love. You need your strength to heal."
I pout but take a sip through the straw. I wince. It hurts to suck on the straw, but it's better than eating and drinking through a tube.
"Easy," Bash coaxes, then lifts my feet, sits down, and rests them on his lap. "I saw Raven leaving."
I nod. "Your plan worked."
He lifts a brow.
"Lex figured it out. I'm too drugged to be that intelligent right now."
"I just suggested they give you a shot. It's not your fault you're…" he trails off.
I nod and take another sip. "It's not too bad. The strawberries help a lot."
"Color me relieved," Lex replies sarcastically.
"Whatever," I reply, settling in to watch whatever movie she's going to put in.
"Cam been around?" Bash asks, rubbing my legs, tracing some of the bruises with his index finger. My legs are hairy having not shaved in five days and I could care less. The man-beard legs don't seem to faze Sebastian.
"No," I reply. "He did call though."
Bash doesn't say anything but I know what he's thinking—I've been thinking the same thing. He looks at me like he wants to say something, then looks back down where his hands are running up and down my leg.
"You can say it," I tell him, drinking more of the protein grossness.
"It's not my place," he replies.
"Are you my best friend?"
He looks at me, his eyes revealing more than friendship. "Always."
"Then it's your place."
He takes a deep breath and blows it out. "I don't want you pissed off at me. I need you in my life, Livvy."
I reach out to touch his arm. "Sebastian. We've had one argument and how long did that last?" I'm reminding him of when he found out I'd spent the night with Cam and how he didn't take it well at all.
The right side of his mouth tips up. "A day."
"Exactly. So…" I lead in.
"So… how long are you going to let him call you his girlfriend but not be a part of your life? Honest to God, Livvy, if he cared as much as he says he does, he'd make time to come see you instead of settling for a fucking phone call," he sneers. "A phone call. You deserve so much better than that."
"I know."
"Then what are you waiting for? I have basketball practice, scouts are there too, but I'm here with you a lot. I make the time," he admits, the love shining in his eyes.
I get the pricklies at the back of my nose and I fight them back. I don't want to cry—not with a broken nose and not over Cam. Not again.
"I need a little time to get well and then I'll talk to him. I'm not strong enough right now," I confess.
"Babe," Bash murmurs. "C'mere."
I very slowly move over to him and he gently lifts me onto his lap, tucking the blanket around me, urging me to rest my head on his shoulder, and wrapping his arms around me.
Safe.
"What?" he asks.
"Safe," I say softly. "With you I feel safe."
He kisses me on the lips—and lingers. My breath catches. Holy smokes. His lips are so soft and he's kissing me so tender. I'm positive if I wasn't hurting so much going on in this moment, I'd be so aroused I would embarrass myself.
He gives me one last peck on the lips then thrusts the glass at me. " Now drink the rest of your protein smoothie."
"Tyrant."
He gives me a very sexy wink.
Oh boy.
ten
Sometimes you know when you wake up there's something bad going on around you. Right now is one of those times.
I'm enveloped in strong arms. A long, lean male body is spooned against me. Sebastian's breath is fanning my hair a bit. If he's here, then what's the problem?
"What the fuck is going on, Olivia?" Cam barks, startling me so much I sit upright, then scream as excruciating pain stabs every part of my body—at least it feels like it. I bite my lip to stop myself from crying and force myself to take a breath.
It hurts. Oh, God, how it hurts. Just a breath. He made me that happen. More pain from Cam.
"C-Cam," I choke out, biting back the pain.
"What the fuck?" Bash shouts, sitting up.
Alexa comes running into the room, her eyes wide, her gaze shifting between Cam and Sebastian.
Oh boy.
"L-lex. M-medication?" I ask.
She nods
"Hurry. Please."
In a flash she's back and I'm downing the pills with water.
Bash scrubs a hand over his face. "Christ, man, you didn't have to scare the shit out of her. Think about what she just went through," he growls at Cam.
"What the hell is he doing in your bed, Liv?" Cam asks, ignoring Bash.
"We fell asleep," I say simply, breathing through the pain I'm still feeling in my ribs and my arm that I leaned on.
"And?"
Lex shoves Cam. "She's been having nightmares, asshole. Sebastian has been kind enough to stay with us so she feels safe."
"In her bed?" Cam sneers.
Now my temper rises. "What the hell difference does it make to you? You're not here. You're a phone call." He flinches at that. Good. "And on top of that, you act as if there's something sexual going on. Have you seen me? Can you imagine me doing anything sexual right now? I. Am. Broken!!!" I scream at him.
His eyes widen in surprise.
"I am sick of this shit, Cameron. You're not here because you're too busy so I'm relying on my best friends to help me through this. If you have a problem with that, then too fucking bad. I need them—him," I say, pointing to Bash whose jaw is ticking.
"Once again you're thinking of yourself," Lex says to Cam, shaking her head. "Coming in here, getting all jealous and roaring at your girlfrie
nd who was finally getting some sleep. Do you know how much sleep she's gotten since she got home?"
Cam just stands there.
"Hardly any," Lex informs him. "She's either in too much pain or having nightmares—and who can blame her? So don't go getting all possessive and jealous when we—her best friends—are the ones doing what she needs to help her feel safe."
"I'm here now," Cam states.
"At one in the morning? What good is that?" she scoffs. "Big brother, you're fucking up and you're doing it majorly." With that, she walks out of the room.
He runs a frustrated hand through his hair. "I'm sorry, Liv. It was just a shock seeing you and Smith curled up like that. I didn't know what was going on, so I jumped to conclusions."
"Cam. I told you on the phone earlier I was having issues sleeping. You only had a few minutes to talk to me so I didn't go into detail. If you want to know what's going on with me you need to make more time. Otherwise, you need to back the hell off. I'm tired, I'm hurting, I'm scared—all the time—and it feels as if you've deserted me ever since football started. You know it and I know it. We already had this discussion and nothing's changed. Even though I've been beaten to within an inch of my life, you still can't take ten minutes to come visit me. What does that say about us?" I ask, tears spilling down my cheeks as I admit the truth, not only to Cam, but to myself.
Cam kneels on the floor next to the bed. "I'm sorry I'm not here for you when you need me, Olivia. I'm at practice, studying films with the coach and the guys, in class, or doing homework seventeen to eighteen hours a day and then I get up and start all over again."
I reach for his hand. "Cam, I really do think it's time for that break. You don't have time for me and I'm tired of being angry because of it."
"Liv…"
I shake my head. "You know I'm right." He looks down at our hands. "When things slow down for you and you have more time, then we'll see where things stand."
His gaze lifts to mine and those emerald eyes shine with emotion—regret, fear, remorse, and love. "I really do love you, Liv."
I nod. "I know. But football is your life—your future. Go make it happen," I tell him, sniffling as the tears continue to fall.
He hangs his head down for such a long time I want to ask if he's all right, but I don't. I just wait. "I hate it but you're right. This isn't fair to you—I'm not being fair to you." He looks up. "Can I—" he swallows. "Can I still call and text, make sure you're okay?"
I nod, but we both know he won't.
"Of course. We're still friends, right?"
He nods and lifts his forearm up to wipe his eyes with the sleeve of his sweatshirt.
"I’m sorry for scaring you and making you hurt," he tells me, his sadness palpable.
"I'm sorry, too."
"For what?"
"For you walking in, seeing what you saw. Even if it was innocent, I would have reacted the same way you did," I confess.
He nods, glances over at Bash who's sitting behind me, playing on his phone, his earbuds in, giving us privacy without leaving the room. I respect the hell out of him for doing that.
"Are you two…" he asks.
"To be honest, Cam, I don't know anything at this point. I'm scared all of the time and he's been helping me through it. He's helped me through everything."
Cam nods. "If you two—" he breaks off. "Well, I just want you to be happy and I know I can't give you that."
I sniffle again.
"Can I hug you?" he asks.
I nod.
He wraps his arms around me, loosely, trying so hard not to hurt me though the slightest touch in certain spots sends a stabbing pain through me. I hug him back, breathing him in, thinking of how it felt to be loved by him. I swallow a sob and just cling until he pulls back.
Regret and apology are shining in his eyes along with unshed tears. He waves a hand to get Bash's attention. Bash pulls out an earbud.
"Thanks," Cam says.
Bash nods.
"Talk to you soon, Liv," Cam says to me.
I nod and sniffle. "I'll be here."
He turns and walks out of the bedroom and the front door closes with a soft click.
I carefully turn to look at Bash who's already lying down on his back, his arms open and ready for me. I fall into him and cry. He soothes me and holds me until I fall asleep, not once letting go.
Guess I didn't get the time I needed after all—but I was strong enough.
"I felt bad doing it, but I needed to," I admit to Lex.
She nods. "I totally understand. I'd have dumped his ass a long time ago."
"I thought I'd have more time to figure out how to do it nicely."
She snorts. "Is there a nice way to break up with someone? If there is, I'm sure you were more than kind."
"I tried to be. Bash didn't leave the room, but he was respectful and put his earbuds in and ignored us."
"And that's another topic right there," Lex states.
"Sebastian?"
Alexa nods and rolls her eyes. "Duh. He's so far gone over you it's crazy."
I wrinkle my nose. "Oh, I don't know about that. He likes me and would like to date me, but I don't think it's all that."
"If you didn't have a concussion I'd smack you on your forehead—hard. You're neither blind nor stupid, Liv. He's always here for you—always. He takes care of you," she tells me.
"Yeah. He also fucks random chicks whenever he feels like it," I retort.
"Oh my God, you've led a sheltered life."
I flip her the bird with my good hand.
"Honestly. I'm not saying that to be hurtful, but it's true. Guys screw around. It's just how it is, and if you think back to when we first got here, Bash was banging a whole lot more girls than he is right now," she reasons.
"True, but still."
"But still nothing. He's not a girl. He doesn’t have the same outlook you did on sex. You and Danny were unique. Most people are okay with casual sex and have it often."
I nod, knowing it's true. "I guess I have higher standards. I just grew up thinking sex was special and not casual at all. Sure, there were guys and girls who screwed around a lot—my best friend Phillip was one of them. He was a total manwhore."
"There you go. Besides, you can't fault Sebastian for having sex. You had a boyfriend until last night—even if he treated you better than my brother did. Sebastian has been treating you like his girlfriend," Lex smirks.
"Just not with sex."
"Oh, he'd sex the hell out of you if you gave him the go ahead, but he respects you and respected your relationship with Cam—as fucked up as it was." She sits down in the chair across from the sofa. "You know, we should have known it would go south."
"How do you figure?" This should be interesting.
"Well, Cam bullied you in high school to make himself feel better. I think he switched it up a bit and this time dated you to make himself feel better—you made him feel better in both cases."
"And neither of them ended well," I mutter.
There's a quick knock on the door and Bash walks in. I can't deny I'm happy to see him or hold back the smile. Guilt. It filters through me and I ignore it, shoving it aside to deal with later.
"There's my girl," Bash announces by way of greeting.
"You really shouldn't call me that in front of Liv. She'll get jealous," Alexa teases with a wink.
Bash smirks, walking over to me and kissing me on top of my head. "You ready to go see the doctor?"
I huff gently, so I don't jar my ribs. "No. I don't want to go anywhere looking like this."
"You look beautiful," he tells me.
I roll my eyes. "Liar. I'm bruised and scraped up. My nose is swollen with a brace on it. My eyes are black and blue and still puffy. Yeah, nothing beautiful here."
"Olivia?" Lex begins.
"Yeah?"
"You are beautiful. You're alive. You survived and you're here right n
ow breathing, laughing, and talking to us. That's a beauty of its own," she says softly, ending with a sniffle.
"Well…" is all I can think to say. "Thank you."
She nods and heads to her room, turning back at the last minute to say, "Don't forget your umbrella. It's raining like crazy."
"Rain, rain, rain. All it ever does here is rain. I thought you said it snowed here," I say to Bash.
"The weather is unseasonably warm right now. Take it while you can get it. One inch of rain is a foot of snow. Think about that a while," he taunts.
"When you put it like that…"
He chuckles.
"C'mon." He holds up my jacket for me to ease into and zips it up.
I grab my umbrella and he rolls his eyes. I flip him off and he just laughs.
eleven
The doctor's appointment three days ago went as expected. Apparently my lungs are doing well, even if it hurt like a mother to breathe deep like that. No blood in my urine—all good.
It's time to see Dr. Wheeler. Bash drops me off. "I'll pick you up in an hour."
"Thanks," I say, then kiss his cheek before exiting the car.
As I walk into the building I think about what I just did. It was natural to kiss his cheek—even though I wanted to kiss his lips. I've always, from the day I met him, found him extremely attractive and it's no different now—except that I know him. I know he's not someone who'd ever hurt me, but do I want to risk our friendship because of it?
"Olivia?" Dr. Wheeler calls out.
I walk into the office and take my spot on the sofa.
"How are you feeling?" he asks.
"Hurting but it's supposed to get better as the bruises fade and they're an ugly yellow now so…" I trail off.
He nods. "And the nightmares?"
"Still happening."
"Every night?" he asks.
"Not every night, but often," I admit.
"That's normal under the circumstances. It's your brain's way of dealing with what happened to you emotionally and physically. Do you want to talk about those nightmares?" he asks.
"Sure. They're usually the same every time. I head toward the old concession stand like the text instructed and when I get there, I find the note. Then I get attacked from behind, exactly like what happened to me and when I'm turned around the attacker keeps going," I tell him, swallowing the fear.
