by Al K. Line
With little choice, unless I wanted to be out of a job and left to deal with the problems of the city without any kind of backup, I nodded and steeled myself for tropical trouble.
New Orders
Strangetown has never been normal, hence the name, but that's because of its inhabitants, not because the city itself has anything weird about it. That could no longer be said.
This Shift in our reality, it was bewildering. I like stability in my life these days, to know where I stand, and finding the city you have lived in for so long utterly transformed is disconcerting to say the least. Nothing was familiar, nothing was as it should be, and everything was difficult.
Breathing was a labor, walking was a chore, getting where you wanted to be was nigh on impossible. We had to use countless switchbacks as the way was blocked by thick creepers the size of your arm, or the low growth was so dense and so sharp it would cut you to ribbons if you somehow managed to wade through it.
Even Mack found the going rough. His bulk could push through a lot of the plants but he kept getting all tangled up and moaned about his horns getting stained, so we took a circuitous route to Strange Headquarters, and finally made it.
People were everywhere, complaining and at a loss as to what to do, but we had no answers for them. The relief at getting away from it all was intense. We closed the door behind us with a sigh, leaving Mack outside to soak up the heat and feel a little more at home. Plus, he wouldn't fit anyway, and shrinking his size took a lot of his energy.
We were both already exhausted just making the short trip. Covered in sweat, bodies cut and clothes torn. Sap, thick and sticky, stuck in our hair like sweet-smelling glue, coated our skin and made our hands stick to anything we touched. And our legs ached from wading through the dense undergrowth.
But oh boy, the interior was a delight. Air conditioning fought valiantly to cool the building, and was almost winning. Goosebumps sprang up on my bare arms and legs as sweat dried, and the air was actually breathable.
"Hell, that's where we are," moaned Robin. I agreed.
"Except hell is a lot redder, with less greenery. At least it smells nice," I offered, and it did. Huge flowers were everywhere, highly perfumed and beautiful, tiny fruits already forming on some of the more vigorous plants. We wouldn't starve, as long as they weren't poisonous and we didn't mind being vegetarian.
"Come on, let's go see Levick. I'm amazed he's working. He must be exhausted, too."
He was, judging by the look of him, at any rate. As I knocked and he beckoned us in with an irritable wave, it was clear he was far from recovered from previous events.
Our Chief Justice, the man of mystery nobody knew much, if anything, about, was smartly dressed as always, looking like a corporate bigwig. But his long white hair, normally slicked back and hanging nicely around his shoulders, was fluffed up and wild. Guess the heat was getting to him, too, although he made no concession with his dress—he even wore his jacket and his tie was tight to his rather red neck.
"You're late," he growled. Guess the solidarity of yesterday was gone, back to business as usual. Meaning, he was all about the work and not big on smalltalk.
"Nice office. Get promoted?" It was larger than the last one, and it had all the walls, which I knew the old one didn't thanks to a bit of bother with the wraiths.
"Shut up. I said, you're late."
"It's rather awkward to move fast, what with the triffids out there," I said.
He looked up in shock. "What!? They're not sentient are they? Not attacking?"
"No, just a joke." Okay, maybe not a very good one.
"Sit down, Swift. Not you, Robin. You're needed for other duties. Somebody," Levick looked at me, "has made the new arrivals, the soldiers, rather edgy and trigger happy. You are to go to their barracks at the Town Hall and try to placate things."
"Why me?"
"Because you have a pretty face and can lay on the charm. And because I told you to." Levick typed a few things on his computer then looked up. "Well, what are you waiting for? Get on it."
Robin gave me a look, as if to say, "What's with him?" but knew better than to argue, and that Levick was right. She's good at this kind of thing. Much better suited to the diplomatic side of our Justice system than me.
She closed the door behind her and Levick turned his cold stare to yours truly. "We did it," he said, smiling.
"Um, yeah, we did. So why the stress?"
"Because it's not exactly over. I heard about the soldiers, and I know why you did what you did, but you can't go punching holes in their faces. It doesn't exactly make for good relations."
"It was an accident," I mumbled lamely. "And I'm sorry. How many are here? What's happening?"
"There's a few hundred, maybe more. They aren't my concern, not really."
"Okay," I said warily, knowing this wouldn't be good.
"Don't get me wrong, they're a damn nuisance. Everyone left us to fend for ourselves and now they're back, wanting to restore peace and order. So a pompous politician can take all the credit. Ha, good luck with that."
"So they just want to put things back how they were? Make it like another normal city? It never was."
"I know that! Sorry, I'm tired. I haven't slept more than a couple hours. Most of the army are decent enough, just doing their job, Swift, so be nice. Under normal circumstances you'd be in no end of trouble, you did kill someone, but they're so scared of us, especially with some of the true Strange still here, that I managed to deal with it. But be warned. When, and I mean when, the city returns to normal, and the politicians and the law, the police and all that sort of thing return, you will have to watch your step."
"Levick, you know I always keep a low profile," I protested. He just gave me a look. "Okay, usually. I'll be happy to go back to how it was, just do my job under the radar, sort out our business in private, but I will not, ever, be nice to sick scum like that guy."
"Okay, okay, I get it. Nevertheless, for now, until order is restored, not that I want the added headache, and to be honest I think I preferred it with the Strange from the Rift and us being left on our own, we are still the only law here, apart from the army. And they're already retreating because of this new threat."
"The wonderworking, that's what Mack calls it."
"Gosh, that takes me back. Haven't heard that for a while. Yes, a wonderwork is potent. People used to call them miracles, and I guess they are. Anyway, I'm getting sidetracked. Your job, your orders. Time to get busy."
"Okay, what is it? You do know I'm not recovered from the Rift, right?"
"Who is? You need to bring in Bluetz Skala."
"No fucking way. Absolutely not. She's utterly deranged."
"That's why you need to go get her," explained Levick patiently, trying to be nice because he knew damn well the woman was fearsome and nobody, nobody, messed with her or even looked at her funny if they wanted to keep their bits and pieces. And I like my bits and pieces, they're attached. Plus, I was hoping they might get fondled soon if I ever managed to see Pumi again.
"Levick, you know she's untouchable. She stays out of our way and we stay out of hers." My skin was clammy and not from the air conditioning. I'm old, have dealt with all manner of weirdos and dangerous people over the centuries, but Bluetz, known as Blue, and for obvious reasons, gave me the creeps. I had no wish to go anywhere near the woman, if you could call her that.
"She did. But now she's gone too far and she needs to be dealt with. If you get my meaning."
"I always get your meaning when you say that. Why you don't just say you want me to haul her in and you'll kill the bitch is beyond me."
"Because we're the official Justice for all Strange, and I'm in charge, so I use appropriate language." Levick gave me a hard stare, daring me to defy him. So much for us being buddies after we dealt with the Rift—it was like it had never happened.
"Why do you want her?" I asked, knowing arguing was useless. If he wanted her there would be good reason. I'd dedica
ted my life to ensuring Strange behaved. Um, you know, within certain boundaries.
Ever since we'd come out to the world at large, things had been very different. For fifty years now my job had got a lot harder, mainly because of the pressure put on Strange having to deal with the ignorance of Normals. The mistrust, the downright hostility, the hate, and even sometimes the adoration.
It meant many witches, wizards, and especially vampires, got into more trouble than ever as they didn't have to try to hide what they were. Zombies were seldom an issue nowadays—the whole rubber teeth thing meant they'd be out of the picture once the last of them rotted away.
"She's gone rogue. And I mean properly rogue. She's already killed three witches, one wizard, five Normals and who knows how many others. Those are just the reports I've had since last night. It could be much more by now."
"Why's she doing it?" Levick gave me another of his stares. "Okay, right, that's my job to find out. Oh, goodie. Gonna be another beautiful day in paradise."
"This is a priority, Swift. I can't go into details, hell, I don't even have them, but let's just say identification of the bodies is nigh on impossible. This isn't just a wayward witch, this is evil. She took her time, she enjoyed it. The things those poor people must have gone through, it doesn't even bear thinking about." Levick looked haunted for a moment, which told me just how bad it was. Normally, he's unflappable, never letting his emotions show. This was as bad as it got.
"Fine, I'll go check it out, but I'm not promising anything. You know what she's like, and if she's off on one then I may have to get creative. No promises about bringing her in for questioning before you chop her up into bits."
"We do not chop up Strange into bits. We aren't inhumane."
"What do you do with them, then? No, don't tell me, I don't want to know." I paused by the air con unit for a moment, then headed out.
"Oh, one other thing."
I turned at the door, reaching for the handle. I was almost out of there, and I'm sure he did it just to wind me up.
"Yes, Boss?"
"This wonderworking, you need to deal with it."
"How? I'm a Justice not a bloody botanist. What am I supposed to do? Go tell the plants to bugger off back where they came from or I'll haul them in for questioning?"
"Don't get smart. What I meant was you need to ensure people don't get out of hand, take advantage of the situation now so many Strange have left. I knew it would be bad, but I wasn't expecting a damn tropical rainforest to add to our problems. Hell, there won't be a city left at this rate. These damn plants are unstoppable."
"Yes, of course. I'll see if I can organize a nice parade as well, shall I? Bunting and cake, to celebrate everything being peachy."
"Just keep me informed."
Levick buried his head behind his monitor and clacked away on his keyboard. I'm sure he was typing nonsense and using it as an excuse to avoid me.
So much for my date. Chances were I'd be dead in a few hours.
Which reminded me. I should call Pumi.
Naughty Demon
Ignoring the goons, who ignored me back but with a lot more attitude—which isn't fair as they've had a lot of time to practice being moody buggers—I filled my lungs with cool air until my chest was ready to pop, opened the doors, glared at them for being so damn good at ignoring me but being so obviously watchful at the same time, and stepped out into Strangetown.
"Mack! Stop that, right this minute! Are you out of your freakin' mind?" Utter destruction lay strewn all around the huge demon, and boy did he look demonic. His ridiculously evil-looking horns were covered in gore, strips of flesh and muscle hanging from them like tattered flags of defeated foes. Mack's anatomy was in stark relief, body pumped up more than usual so you could see every muscle fiber beneath skin stretched taut. Cross-striations and veins as thick as the red strawberry snake sweets I still bought if nobody I knew was nearby.
His body was stained with blood and there were dark patches of brown where strings of lower intestine had been squashed by his arms and knees as he flattened flesh. But it was his mouth that was the worst. Around his wide double set of teeth were gobbets of flesh, bone, and brain, his teeth dark with blood and nastiness.
As I shouted, he paused, a soldier complete with full uniform, screaming and terrified, held in his huge hands. Mack's mouth was open wide, ready to bite him into bits and chew him on down.
"Hey, babe, working nine to five again? Got your orders for the day?"
"Put that man down, and I mean now," I ordered.
"No can do. I warned him, told him not to mess with the big guy, that he wouldn't like me when I'm angry. Plus, he called me an oversized tomato. That hurt my feelings, that did. So I'm just teaching him a lesson. Nothing much, just a bit of the old eating him and pooping him out."
At the bottom of the steps a handful of soldiers stared in utter horror, shell casings all around, the bullets useless against my demonic friend. I guess it was understandable, as Mack had already done the nasty to a few of them, although it was hard to tell exactly how many.
"Just let him be, Mack. You aren't in your netherworld now. You can't go killing people like that."
"Why not? I used to do it all the time."
"No, you didn't. They were already dead, and in hell, so you were doing your job. This is different, they're still alive."
"Can't see the difference, really," he said, snapping his teeth at the now crying soldier.
Would he never learn? The distinction didn't register with him. He failed to understand the variance between being alive, dead, immortal, or your soul doing penance for the things you had done while alive. "There is a difference, a bloody big one. Drop him." The moment I said it I knew I'd made a mistake.
Mack gave one final snap of his gnashers at the man then did as instructed, letting the plaything go. Headfirst. His head hit the steps with a sickening crunch, splitting open like an egg hit by a very large spoon, brains oozing out and instantly covered in huge flies, buzzing as they fed greedily.
"Um, I done a bad thing, right?"
"Yeah, you done a bad thing. Did, it's did." I've often wondered how Mack managed the whole pooping out of the damned, as there are no orifices that could perform such a task. Heck, he doesn't even have genitalia, just a smooth bulge, and we only refer to him as a he as "he" decided he wanted to be one after watching Happy Days and spending a few weeks going "Ayyy," and driving me nuts. It was cute to see a dormouse do such things, but it got old real quick.
The soldiers rushed forward to their fallen comrade, but there was nothing they could do.
"Your demon killed our mates. We were just doin' our job. Been ordered to check the premises," said a nervous looking guy with huge sweat stains under his arms.
"For what?" I asked.
"For Strange. Just from the Rift, not human Strange," he added hurriedly.
"And why would you be asked to do that?" I already knew, but wanted to hear it firsthand.
"Got orders to round 'em up. There's only a few left, right? And we're to take 'em back to HQ."
"Oh, is that right? And what happens then?"
The spokesman shrugged. "Not our concern, just following orders."
That was fair enough. But what wasn't fair enough was anyone thinking they could take any creature against its will and treat it like a second-class citizen. I'd lived through enough segregation and apartheid for even a hint of it to leave a bad taste in my mouth.
"I think you better go back to your top brass and tell them that most definitely ain't gonna happen. Everyone's equal here, so you better keep your hands off." It didn't bode well for the rest of the world.
If the few Strange that had stayed behind because of personal attachment to our world or its people were being targeted here at the center of all things magical, it was very likely they'd already been rounded up elsewhere. Or, there were some serious battles raging right this instant.
"Listen, bitch," he stepped forward, so did several
of his men. Others frowned at his use of language and stepped back—men doing their jobs, not out to abuse their authority. "You don't get a say in this. These freaks need to be eradicated. Now most have gone, it's down to us to clear up the filth and put things right again."
"Bitch, is it? I'll rip you to pieces you little worm. You think you're better than us, than Mack here? Okay, he's a little heavy-handed,"—understatement of the year—"but at least he knows to treat people with respect that do the same in return. You better bugger off right now. No way are you getting inside."
"You what?" he spluttered, clearly not used to being spoken to like that. "I'll do as I damn well please, and I'll take pleasure in killing these abominations with every—Argh!"
My first blast hit him in the leg and his clothes burst into flames. He dropped his weapon and batted at the weak flame, putting it out easily enough. While he acted like a baby, I felt around the Pool, gaging the power and drawing on it carefully. Just enough to give me the magic I needed, not enough to drain me and leave me ravenous and tired.
As he grabbed his gun and lifted it to aim, I used magic boosted muscles to leap down the steps, kicking him square in the chest, sending him flying back into the soft embrace of a large plant with leaves the size of a man, beautiful and striated with red. He coughed and choked for a moment, face dark with sweat and anger—or maybe it was humiliation, as if women couldn't be tough, too—then lifted his gun again, fast.
Just as I was about to blast him into the next life, one of the leaves whipped around his arm. Then another, then another, until his body was cocooned, only his head and boots visible.
"Get this damn thing off me. What's wrong with this place? Hurry up, you idiots, get it off."
Some of the men rushed to help, but a few of them nodded at me, a discreet way of asking if I was okay, and I nodded back, mouthing, "Can we go?" tilting my head toward the almost impassable road. They gave the okay, so we left as the soldier screamed and his friends fought in vain to release him.
