He thought he just didn’t feel anything.
He’d been outside a house…and he had no idea how he’d gotten there.
Pirna had been inside.
He only found that out later, too.
That same cop told Revik back at the police house in the downtown of that Bavarian city. He told Revik in detail what he’d done to Pirna and her husband, what he’d done with the gun, and also with his hands and fists.
Pirna had been his school teacher. That had been even earlier, back when he used to get beat up daily instead of once every few months. Pirna, who’d tried to defend him, who tried to get the German authorities to take him away from Menlim…who tried to help him. Pirna, who he’d loved in his own way, even if thinking about her brought unbearable shame, given how he’d gotten her fired from her job at the school.
Revik had murdered her and her husband.
The thought broke something in Revik’s mind.
He looked down at Allie, feeling the wounds on her…the broken parts of her light. The broken parts of her body.
He’d done this.
He didn’t know how he knew, but he did.
Vash! Revik called out in the Barrier space. Vash…I need you!
He remembered then, and his light crashed back down and into him, sparking in harder eddies. Grief hit him before he could protect himself, before he could pull it back in any way. Vash wouldn’t answer him. Vash was dead. The one person who truly acted as a parent to him, at least after his own parents died…was gone.
More than even the emotional tie, Vash had felt like protection.
A safety net, maybe. Maybe even from Revik himself…from his own nature, or whatever was wrong with his light, whatever the Dreng had broken in him, seemingly permanently. Vash was the one person whose vision and motives Revik trusted without question. He never had to second-guess him, never had to wonder if Vash was lying, or trying to manipulate him. Vash always operated on the side of light. Always.
He was light, even when Revik didn’t agree with his tactics.
Revik never had to wonder if Vash might be working for some darker force. Never.
He only felt that way about one other person in his entire life.
That was Allie, his wife.
The pain in Revik’s head worsened.
Balidor… he amended, his light more subdued as he changed the resonance there, looking for the Adhipan seer. Balidor…Tarsi. I need to talk with one of you. I need to talk to one of you as soon as possible…now, if you are available.
He felt the fear in his light as he reached out to them.
He knew they would feel it, too.
He didn’t care. It was irrelevant right now.
Balidor answered him first.
Illustrious Sword, is that you I hear? The Adhipan leader’s thoughts were guarded, despite his teasing tone. It is the middle of the night, brother. Can this not wait until we are more or less conscious? Or caffeinated, at least? Neither of us is as young as we used to be…
Tarsi’s mind rose, sharp.
Speak for yourself, Adhipan.
Revik could almost hear Balidor chuckle.
He could feel both of them now, too, well enough to wonder if they were talking to one another already, in addition to him. He felt enough to know that Tarsi, at least, had some suspicion about why he was contacting them. He also felt enough to know that Tarsi had been awake already, that she’d been in the Barrier, perhaps even looking at him.
He also felt that both of them were housed relatively nearby, in some other part of the ship.
Ship. They were on a ship.
Not the carrier. A different ship.
Why was Lily with them? Hadn’t they sent her ahead? With Maygar?
She felt you’d both been hurt, Balidor explained, a faint apology in his voice. She insisted on seeing you for herself. Maygar brought her here yesterday…we did not see the harm, since you are all more or less tied to one another still. Balidor hesitated. We will be land bound soon, at any rate, brother. Satellite activity tells us that we are being tracked again…that the ships are no longer safe places to house any of our people. We are heading for shore now.
Which one? Revik sent.
Even with everything else, he couldn’t pull himself out of tactical thinking entirely.
Pattaya, Balidor answered at once. Then to Bangkok. Briefly only, brother. We were offered safe haven there, and will be met by more in the Adhipan. They have brought some of the refugees from China south, so there is some chance they could meet us in Laos or Northern Thailand, depending on how we end up dividing our resources. Your wife thought the location might be helpful for other reasons as well, at least until some of the teams she has in mind are deployed. They still have a working airport, for one…
Revik nodded, letting his head fall back into the pillow.
His mind was back on the other thing.
He had to ask. He wanted to ask.
Now that he had them both there, he didn’t know how.
Tarsi, as usual, broke the impasse.
Yes, she sent. You did that to your wife.
Revik felt his breath stop in his chest.
Tarsi only paused long enough for him to hear her words, however.
You attacked her in that boat house, following a trigger phrase spoken by your old guardian, Menlim, she continued. She paused at his silence, but again only briefly. It was not of your own free will, nephew…so do not indulge in guilt around this. And yes, we are already looking for some way to neutralize this thing, whatever this trigger is that Menlim has installed in you. Truthfully, this was not a complete surprise to either of us, given Menlim’s attachment to having you in his construct…and his arrogance around being able to control you.
Something about her blunt confession both relaxed Revik and sent his light into a fucking tailspin. He noted Balidor’s silence, realized the other seer might not have told him at all, at least not right away.
The thought angered him briefly, but he brushed that aside, too.
Tarsi was right. None of that shit was the fucking point.
Not now.
How did they bring me down? he asked instead. And why the fuck are my wife and daughter in here, under the circumstances?
Balidor side-stepped both questions neatly.
We will bring more of our high-ranked infiltrators into this as soon as you allow it, he sent, his light business-like, bordering on a military report. I would like to recommend Varlan help us in locating the trigger itself…and Wreg.
Balidor fell silent briefly; Revik could almost hear him clearing his throat.
He could almost see him gesturing with his hands, as well.
We have an additional operational priority upon landing in Bangkok as well, Balidor added. Your wife helped us find two more leads on Network seers. She has asked us to send two different groups…and to deploy them upon reaching Bangkok. With your approval, of course. She has an additional desire that is more diplomatic in nature, as well…
Revik felt his jaw harden.
Of course, he’d caught the obvious deflection.
At the same time, Revik hated being out of the loop––even for a coma––and couldn’t help wanting more information. Balidor undoubtedly knew this about him. After the barest pause, Revik decided to let the deflection stand, at least temporarily.
Where? he sent, blunt. What leads?
Balidor clicked softly, but he answered without hesitation.
That old woman. Xarethe. Balidor’s thoughts grew openly irritated. …or ‘Novak,’ whatever it is that she calls herself these days. According to intel extracted from that last Washington D.C. run with Loki’s team, there is a very strong chance she is still in the United States. That she never in fact left.
At Revik’s questioning pulse, Balidor went on, sounding irritated once more.
We must now assume that many of these ‘reported deaths’ might be fabricated. We saw words to that effect in one of the contingency p
lans Loki pulled in D.C. A list of seers and humans who would be claimed dead in the aftermath of any ‘FEMA-led emergency efforts.’ Novak’s name was high on the list. For similar reasons we cannot trust the reports that President Brooks had died, either. It is why Alyson wished to approach the delegation to the United States in a more diplomatic fashion…in addition to going after Novak.
Revik nodded. Smart.
His wife had always been good at the big picture.
Of course, given that Brooks’ name is on the List, I am thinking this protection was not put in place for her. They likely did it thinking Terian or Galaith would be President for this outbreak…
Revik sent a pulse of agreement to that, too.
Either way, Balidor added. The infiltration team led by Varlan and Yumi has since gathered intelligence that supports the theory that these contingency plans are still in effect. From what we’ve been able to determine, they’ve likely all been underground in an upgraded NORAD facility since this whole thing started. We don’t know how many of them are alive, or even if President Brooks is with them…
Revik nodded. You are sending someone?
Your wife suggested Chandre. She would leave from Bangkok, as well.
Not Loki? Revik sent. He knows that terrain.
Your wife and Wreg wanted Loki on something else, Balidor sent.
At Revik’s second questioning pulse, Balidor exuded reassurance.
Afghanistan, he explained. It was your wife’s call, but I think it is a good one. Loki knows the culture and the language, so he can speak with the humans, too. Alyson says Loki could possibly be sent to aid sister Chandre after, if she requires back-up in the United States, but Wreg has a possible lead in Kabul on that other female seer in the Network.
Revik nodded, once.
When? he sent.
Loki, Neela and Hondo are already looking for the best way out of Bangkok so as not to draw attention, given the eyes on us, Balidor replied. Wreg tells me that the Bridge instructed Loki to just go once he has his team in place…pending your approval, of course…and to not tell the rest of us the particulars.
Revik felt Balidor shrug.
Knowing Loki, he will not wait for very long once he gets the green light, Balidor added. Although things are different for him now…with his personal life, I mean.
Revik nodded again, sending a brief flicker of understanding with his light.
Even so, his anger worsened once more as he thought over the seer’s words.
Not only what Balidor had said, but what he had not.
That is all well and fine, brother Balidor, Revik sent, softer. And I sympathize with brother Loki…I do. However, it still doesn’t answer the question I asked, meaning why the fuck my wife and daughter are in here with me now.
There seemed small risk–– Balidor began.
I’m glad it seems that way to you, Revik growled, cutting him off even as he sent a heated pulse of anger. Your optimism inspires me, brother. Truly. But pardon me if I’d rather not test your sunny outlook on the lives of my goddamned family.
At the stillness on the other end, Revik made his thoughts harder.
You couldn’t collar me, at least? Handcuff me to the fucking bed?
Another silence fell over the Barrier space.
Revik stripped his thoughts, biting the inside of his cheek. How the hell did you bring me down? he sent. Did she do it? Allie?
No.
Then how? Are you going to tell me?
The silence deepened.
Then Balidor chuckled. You wouldn’t believe us if we did––
So tell me anyway, Revik cut in.
It is not the important issue right now, nephew, Tarsi sent, her voice carrying an open warning, one seemingly aimed at both of them. As to your requested security precautions regarding your family, we’ll put them in place as soon as your wife allows us to.
Revik felt his jaw harden.
Allie.
Fucking Allie. Of course.
His arm tightened around her even as he thought it. He looked down at her sleeping face, fighting a sudden perverse desire to shake her. A mixture of love, exasperation and more of that heat coiled back and through his light, making his frustration worse.
Focusing back on the Barrier, he tore his eyes off her, fighting to think.
They were going after Shadow’s network. That was good.
He was glad Allie hadn’t waited for him for that.
But it wouldn’t be enough.
It wouldn’t be anywhere near enough.
If Menlim could make him turn on his own wife…
Brother, Balidor began, clicking at him sharply. Frustration seethed off the Adhipan seer’s light. Brother…please do not contemplate anything drastic at this point. We have discussed several different scenarios, in addition to the hunting of Network seers. We are not blind to the urgency of our current situation…
Revik nodded again.
His mind remained elsewhere, however.
He could feel the barest edges of something already fighting its way into his brain. He could feel the danger there. He could feel how easily he might go too far, how many different ways he could fuck up or things could go spiraling off course.
He didn’t need anyone to tell him what a goddamned long shot it would be. He knew the greater likelihood would be that he’d just get himself and his family killed all the faster.
Without knowing a fucking thing in terms of details and no matter how many precautions he took, pulling anything like that off would take a goddamned miracle.
Even so, once there, the bare kernel of that idea was hard to dig it out.
Nephew, Tarsi cautioned. Now is not the time to act rashly…whatever your concerns for your family’s safety.
Revik nodded. Once, seer-fashion.
He didn’t really answer her, though.
He agreed in principle.
At the same time, that kernel of thought had already started to take root.
It was too early to know what it would look like if he let it grow and branch out and become something workable…or what would happen to it when he brought his wife into his thinking. She had this tendency to make his already crazy ideas even more crazy.
Like batshit, full-blown irresponsible crazy.
But the idea was there and Revik knew it wouldn’t be going anywhere, not until he’d let it run its course. Not until he’d talked to his wife about it, at least.
He knew one thing for certain.
This wouldn’t happen again.
It wouldn’t.
Not if it meant cutting his own throat.
2
EIGHT MONTHS, FIVE DAYS
"We both knew this would happen. We saw it…" he murmured.
Without thinking, I answered him.
“So we know it'll be all right,” I said. “That it'll all work out all right in the end…”
I trailed, then looked over at him sharply.
Meeting his gaze, I swallowed. A dark, swift, sinking feeling filled my gut, like something in there was kicking at me, making me bleed on the inside.
That feeling was fear, I realized.
Terror maybe. The sudden stab of déjà vu that came from our exchange of words only made that fear worse. But it wasn’t déjà vu really…it was memory. And I could say that with utter certainty now, because I was a seer after all.
Photographic memory.
So yeah, I knew immediately where I’d heard those words before.
The night of our wedding. Tarsi’s cakes.
Revik and I said those exact words to one another as we looked into our future together, under the spell of those crazy cakes and a lot of wine and not enough sex. Even then, it hadn’t been two strands, it had been one.
One that broke somewhere along the way.
One that hurt like hell…even when I couldn’t remember the specifics.
I glanced over at the couch, where Lily slept.
One small arm curled under her d
ark head. Her clear, green-rimmed eyes were closed now, framed in dark lashes under an already narrower-looking face. I watched her almost clinically in those few seconds, looking her over in a way I couldn’t while she was awake.
She looked older to me again. She’d lost some of the baby fat she’d worn what seemed like only weeks before, that same cute, dimply layer that made her so utterly squeezable. She was losing that layer too fast, faster than even a human. Its loss made her look older, childlike in a way that appeared different to me already…more like a little girl and less like a baby.
She was beautiful. So beautiful it still took my breath.
“…We knew it, love,” he repeated, softer.
I nodded, fighting tears.
I knew. I knew he was right.
But I really really wished I didn’t.
An explosion ripped through the silence of the late afternoon light, jerking my eyes up.
It got all of us to our feet, staring down from the roof of the thirty-story apartment building where we worked. I looked west with the rest of them, holding my breath. Raising a hand to shield the sun, I gazed towards the line of the horizon.
My eyes found the snaking curve of river reflecting sunlight first.
Then I saw the smoke.
Pretty much due west, from the lines of the sun.
I was still staring when a second detonation went off.
I ducked in reflex. Before I’d straightened, a third, larger one detonated along a different part of the wall, causing all of us to flinch, and many of the seers next to me jerk back from the edge of the roof. Glancing to my right, I saw Jorag lower his arm from where he’d used it instinctively to shield his face, even though we were more than a mile from the blast.
He frowned at the horizon even as I watched.
Black smoke plumed up. Again, I raised a hand to shield my eyes.
For a moment I forgot what we’d been doing as I watched the scene unfold.
Sirens went off, even as I heard distant staccato bursts of what sounded like automatic rifle fire. I cursed a little under my breath as the breach siren wound higher.
It wasn’t our siren, of course. It belonged to the Thai humans.
Dragon: Allie's War Book Nine Page 2
