We had coffee cups in front of us, filled with powdered instant coffee and boiled filtered water, both from my people.
I think the cups came with the house. Thin, white and ridiculously small, they looked like something my human grandmother would have owned. Or like they’d been stolen from a diner before Americans started mainlining coffee in 16-24 ounce doses.
Brooks exhaled while I watched, still picking at the linoleum with her fingers.
“We had a suicide recently,” she said.
I blinked. I felt pieces of what she referenced in her light along with the emotions she still carried from the incident. After a short pause, I sighed.
“Yeah,” I said. “You’re probably right.” At her puzzled look, I shrugged. “Novak. She probably killed him. She’s the one person in your administration we’ve definitely ID’d as working for Shadow.”
Brooks nodded slowly. Her eyes narrowed. “And your husband? Who does he work for these days?”
I swallowed down a tepid sip of the coffee, avoiding her eyes.
“We got a bulletin,” Brooks said. “He’s been seen in Hong Kong, Esteemed Bridge. Didn’t you say just now that was a Shadow city?”
I nodded, still not answering.
She wasn’t willing to let it go, though.
“Does he work for this Shadow seer?” Brooks said. “Or not?”
Hesitating, I gestured more or less with one hand, seer-fashion.
“Possibly,” I admitted. At her disbelieving grunt, I held up the same hand. “It’s complicated,” I said. “We have a daughter. He’s trying to protect her…both of us, really.”
Brooks shook her head though, her expression openly frustrated. “How can I possibly trust you, if your own husband––”
“You don’t have to trust me for long,” I cut in. “And as for Revik…”
I hesitated, wincing at the pain in my heart just from his name. A swell of anger hit me when I remembered Dalejem mocking me for that very thing.
“…My husband only left us recently,” I said, focusing back on Brooks. “He can’t hurt you from where he is…and he has no idea where I am right now. If all goes according to plan, he won’t know before we’re long gone.”
Frustration continued to seethe off Brooks’ light, but she only nodded, staring at the table. I could sense that she felt like she had no choices but bad ones.
I couldn’t really disagree.
I checked the timepiece in my headset.
“We’ll send Talei and Chan back in with you now,” I said, trying to reassure her. “If anyone noticed your absence in a relevant way, they’ll signal me and we’ll move at once. Otherwise, follow the plan we just discussed. Whatever happens, my people will get you out safely if that’s what you want. I’ll do whatever I can to make that happen…I promise you.”
When Brooks still didn’t speak, I made another vague gesture with my hand, still fighting not to read her too much.
“I can spare a few more of my seers, too, if you think you can get them in past security,” I added. I gestured another smooth reassurance in seer, baffled that I couldn’t seem to remember most of my human mannerisms anymore.
“Look,” I said, slipping more into my California accent. I leaned forward over the table and she finally met my eyes. “We’re not going to force the issue. I’m offering you an option…and protection. If you decide not to do it, then just tell my people when it becomes relevant. They aren’t going to kidnap you. We’ll leave you here if you really want that.”
She waved away my words though, grimacing.
“Those kinds of assurances are meaningless to me right now,” she said. “You must know that. No offense, but I can’t believe anything you say about that.”
Sighing, I nodded. Not much point in arguing that, either.
It was amazing, really, that she’d come this far.
Brooks exhaled again, as if still fighting indecision. Straightening her suit jacket, she leaned back in the rusted chair, adjusting her ass on the seat, probably because it felt as numb as mine did on the warped metal. Frowning, she met my gaze.
“And what is this ‘List’ exactly again?” she said, pursing her lips. “You said my name is on it. What does that even mean?”
I shook my head, clicking softly.
“It would take awhile to explain that, sir,” I said truthfully. “To explain it well, at least. We don’t have that time now. Suffice it to say, we have our own reasons to take great pains to keep you alive. We believe you would be a significant asset in helping us to rebuild a civilization for humans and seers…in a direction that won’t enslave either of our races.”
I met her gaze, speaking more frankly.
“It’s our main assurance in regards to you,” I added, gesturing a short apology, one she wouldn’t even understand, I realized. “…In our trusting you, I mean. Like you, we don’t really know who our friends are right now. And we have at least one plant at a high level, too. I vetted this team carefully, though…so I don’t think they’re among us now.”
She gave me a skeptical look.
It occurred to me that she thought, because I was a seer, I would be able to sniff out anyone who wasn’t loyal. The thought almost made me laugh aloud.
It wasn’t really funny though.
And according to my timepiece, this meeting was over.
As much as I wanted her with us, I didn’t have any more time to spend on this now.
“Think about it,” I said to her, rising slowly to my feet. I gave her a short bow, keeping my light and my tone respectful. “The offer to let you stay is sincere, whether you want to trust it or not. Some of my people will be in your complex already, so you need only follow the protocol outlined and they will either assist you and your allies in getting out…or not. But we’ll have to move fast on our end. Preferably within the next few hours.”
I gave her a grim smile, gesturing respectfully.
“I have already given my people orders not to impede your free will unnecessarily,” I added. “…but I hope you understand that I am retaining operational authority in terms of our own security interests. I’ll pull the trigger if any of them feel the mission is in danger. If you haven’t made up your mind by then, you might be shit out of luck…”
Trailing, I flushed, realizing what I’d just said and to who. I gestured another apology with one hand.
“…They’ve also been authorized to take out any agents of Shadow they find while they are there,” I added. “Whether you approve or not.”
Brooks’ eyes shot up.
She stared at me, her eyes incredulous.
“You don’t get a vote in that, sorry,” I added, my voice a touch warning, even with the apology. “That’s an operational necessity for me. So if my people determine you might thwart their attempts to remove someone they’ve ID’d, they already have my permission to make sure you don’t get in the way. Not by killing you, of course,” I added hastily, seeing the alarm growing in her brown eyes. “But you’ll be neutralized, yes. Temporarily.”
Moira Brooks leaned back in her chair, her arms folded.
From the look on her face, I wondered if she was marveling at my audacity.
Swallowing a bit, I made a more concessionary gesture with one hand.
“We’d like you with us,” I said. “I mean that…I really do. But I have my own shit to deal with. I can’t jeopardize that just because you don’t trust me.” Feeling my face flush again, I added, “I hope you’ll take the time to think about what you really believe…and what’s important to you in terms of this new world. Maybe titles aren’t the thing to be focused on right now? Or holding onto a system that was pretty fucked up by the end, anyway?”
Again, I got that incredulous look. Her eyebrows rose so high they nearly disappeared behind the shorter fringe of her black hair.
Not focusing there for long, I bowed again.
“Thank you very much, sir,” I said, using the formal cadence of Prexci, although I spok
e in English. “…For agreeing to meet with me. And for hearing me out.”
Without waiting for her to get up, I excused myself.
I didn’t really think about what I’d said to her until I’d already left out the kitchen door, letting the screen door bang shut behind me. I didn’t have long to marvel at my own stupidity in potentially alienating someone we might need and who had recently been one of the most powerful people in the human world.
After the day I’d had, I kind of marveled that I’d made it through that meeting at all, much less managed to stay more or less on task.
Even so, for those seconds, anxiety gnawed at my chest.
I probably could have handled that better.
“Sister!”
The male voice snapped me out of my reverie.
I turned my head, sighing internally when I saw the cluster of seers waiting for me. They all looked paler than usual. I could already tell from the charged and disjointed aleimic strands still flickering around the group that they’d been talking about what happened earlier that day.
Dalejem wasn’t with them, though.
I wasn’t sure if I wanted to know where he was.
“Sister,” Talei said, her voice soft.
I looked at her, startled more from the open concern I could hear in her voice. Then, realizing what it probably stemmed from, I felt my jaw harden.
My skin flushed hot before she even continued speaking.
“Jem told us what happened,” she said carefully, confirming my suspicions and making me stiffen more. “Esteemed Sister…we should get you to our medical technicians, as soon as possible. We should also contact sister Yumi, if you––”
I shook my head. “No. I’m fine. Thank you sister. But no. Not right now.”
“Allie––” Chandre cut in, her voice noticeably harder.
But I couldn’t deal with her right then. I really couldn’t.
I looked away from their concerned stares, flattening my voice.
“Suit up,” I said to Mara and Kat, knowing they wouldn’t give a shit about me, at least.
I switched to Prexci, partly in case Brooks came out of the house, but also because I knew formal Prexci carried the tonal qualities I needed to get them to drop what happened in that cave and get their heads back in the fucking game.
Also, Neela’s English sucked.
I returned my gaze to Talei and Chandre only after Mara nodded.
“You, too,” I said, my voice only a touch less hard. My eyes shifted to Jorag and Neela last. “I want the you two to be ready, as well…in case Brooks takes me up on the offer of bringing a larger team with her back inside. I gave her the basic op plan…and the parameters. Don’t hesitate to push her if she tries to tip anyone off about who you are. In fact, monitor all of her transmissions from now on…at least until we have Novak.” Pausing, I looked around at all of them. “Anyone heard from Deklan? Surli? They’re still in there, right?”
Talei nodded, once. “Yes. Deks called. He found Novak’s sleeping quarters…as well as what appeared to be some kind of private work station only she has access to.”
I exhaled. “Good. Tell him to wait on approach until he has back up. Preferably me. I don’t want him going after her alone. I don’t give a fuck how old she looks…Balidor agrees with me on this. She’s fucking dangerous…she might even be an actual Dreng spirit in a material body, like Menlim. I want zero fucking casualties on this.”
I glanced at Kat, frowning when I caught her staring at me, looking over my body and hair like she’d never seen me before.
“…There’s a good chance Menlim is going to bring the house down on us the second we go live,” I added, ignoring whatever the hell was going on there. “He might even bomb the complex outright. So we need to do this fast. No mistakes. I want Brooks safe, but Novak is the priority. She needs to go. I want that to happen in under twenty-four hours. I strongly suspect our window will close after that.”
Some of the worried, depressed chaos I’d felt in their lights started to clear at my words.
That time, I saw no rebellion in those eyes. They all nodded, murmuring as one.
“Yes, sir…”
“Good,” I muttered to myself.
I needed this dealt with. I hadn’t been lying to Brooks about that.
Novak had to go. After what happened that morning, she wasn’t the burning, number one priority in my mind anymore, but she was still pretty danged high on the list.
As I thought it, the tape rewound in my head before I could stop it.
That crazy fucker holding me against the wall by the throat. Me choking, legs kicking out as I fought to work the telekinesis, thinking this was it…I was going to die. I’d already punched the monster, trying to get him off Feigran. But Dragon picked me up like I weighed no more than a doll. I don’t know how long I hung there, slowly blacking out.
My mind had ripped open at some point…my light.
I remembered screaming Revik’s name…Lily’s.
Dragon had already thrown Dalejem aside, taking the gun out of his hands with the telekinesis. He caught that same rifle, one-handed, only to let it drop to the floor, turning those glowing green eyes on me.
But I couldn’t think about this right now.
I couldn’t go there, no more than I could let Talei or Chan go there. There’d be time enough for that later.
There was always time to break down later.
Rubbing the skin around the burnt part of my leg through the charred pants, I fought to clear my head, to think through the intensity of the different shocks to my system, with little or no breathing room from one to the next.
I had to think about what to do now––not just for me but for the rest of my teams. I had to think about how to tell Balidor what had happened, and the fact that I’d lost Feigran for what felt like the millionth time. I had to think about how I would even go about tracking Dragon without getting a hell of a lot of people killed.
I knew we had to track him though. Somehow.
The thought caught in my chest, clenching something there so tightly I could scarcely breathe. I fought it, trying to force it back even as pain leaked over my light…separation pain, but more than that, too. That day’s events fought to overwhelm me briefly, even as I did my best to force it out, to not think about it yet.
I couldn’t think about this now…I fucking couldn’t.
I couldn’t fall apart now.
I managed to force it back simply because that was nothing more nor less than the complete truth. Even so, something in that rush of pain and fear opened my light. It opened it maybe more than I had been in days…certainly since I’d landed back in America.
It could have been a coincidence. It could have been.
Either way, I could feel him.
Suddenly I could feel Revik.
At first his presence alone cut my breath. It blanked my vision, stuttered my mind, hurting my very skin. I hadn’t felt him at all that day, not in any of that nightmare with Dragon, but now, outside of an abandoned farmhouse in the middle of nowhere, I felt him. I felt him all around me and then…then I felt more than just his presence.
He wasn’t alone. He wasn’t alone…
Pain hit me. It didn’t just hit me…it nearly knocked me out.
I let out a low cry, part of it disbelief.
Gods, he wasn’t…he couldn’t be…not already.
I panicked, fighting to get it out of my light.
When he didn’t withdraw, only coiled into me more intensely, I shoved at it, at him…fighting him, hitting out at his light, doing anything I could to get him away from me. I panicked just from the barest taste of it, slamming out harder before I would have to feel it for real. It took what felt like an endless stretch of time. It took too long, longer than I could stand, but eventually I got the last taste of his presence away from me.
That hurt too. Him being gone almost hurt more.
Almost.
I found myself coming back
into my body like water dripping through a dense cloth, and then I was fighting to rebuild my shield. Only then did the mission reassert itself, enough to make me wonder how much of me he’d felt on the other end.
Did he know where I was? Had I just lied to Brooks?
Had he felt anything of what happened that day? Had he seen me with Dragon?
I couldn’t think about that right then, either.
As for the rest…
Pain fought its way back into my chest, so intensely I couldn’t think through it at first. I struggled with it, fought to rebuild my shield around it when I found myself choking back what might have been a cry, or maybe something a lot more animal. I tried to be rational. I tried to hold onto that military thing, the part of me that could stand to think about any of this.
I knew this was coming. I fucking knew it. He’d warned me they’d probably throw women at him from day one, if only to see how he’d react.
I knew. I’d been waiting for this.
But not now…not today. I couldn’t deal with this today.
I didn’t realize how much I’d lost track of everything around me, or how tightly I’d shielded, until I felt a hand rubbing the small of my back in slow, strong circles.
I had no idea how long he’d been doing that, either.
I blinked, fighting to focus my eyes. Once I had, I found myself bent over by the SUV, no memory of walking there.
Dalejem stood next to me, silent.
I didn’t look up, but I knew his light by now. After today, I’d always know it.
I wondered if he’d been trying to talk to me, but I shoved that out of my mind, too. It didn’t matter. None of it mattered.
“Are you okay?” he said, soft.
Realizing tears ran down my face, tears I could only hope had been obscured by my hair hanging down, I wiped my cheeks without raising my head.
“I’m fine,” I said, clearing my throat. “Has she left the house yet? Brooks.”
“They’re long gone, Esteemed Bridge.” His voice remained low, stripped of emotion but softly reassuring. “She took Chandre, Mara, Talei and that Kat seer with her.”
Dragon: Allie's War Book Nine Page 32
