I didn’t want to know who he meant.
I strongly suspected it wasn’t Dragon.
Wiping my face with the back of my hand, I looked away, releasing the door in the same instant.
“Fine,” I said. “Whatever.”
Stepping back from the opening, I didn’t look at him as he walked into the room. Even so, I couldn’t help but wince as he closed the door behind him with a deliberate click.
Folding my arms, I continued to stare at the floor when I cleared my throat.
“Speak,” I said. I wiped my face with a hand, using that same hand to make a cursory polite gesture in seer. “Say what you came here to say. Then get the fuck out. I don’t have time for this bullshit drama, Jem. I really don’t.”
He didn’t move. Not from what I could tell while staring at the carpet anyway.
After the silence stretched past where I could stand it, I exhaled again.
“Gaos,” I said. “What do you want from me, brother? What is it? I let you off the fucking hook. You can go. I’m letting you go. So go…”
I looked up as I finished speaking, out of frustration as much as anything.
When I did, I found him staring at me.
His light appeared to be shielded once more, but the look on his face was borderline confused…or maybe angry…or maybe he was frustrated like me. I had no fucking idea; I honestly couldn’t read him at all.
“What?” I said again, clenching my jaw when another wave of emotion hit my light. “Are you going to speak? Because I think your one minute is pretty well used up.”
His sculpted mouth curled into a frown.
He didn’t take his eyes off my face. The frown turned into a scowl, but more than anything, I still felt confusion twisting through his light. Confusion, frustration…maybe with me, maybe with his inability to communicate with me. I felt the heat there, what might have been guilt or disbelief mixed in with denser things, things he didn’t seem to want me to see at all.
A bare second later, he moved.
Like when he’d come after me in his room, the aggression behind it threw me, nearly made me panic. I felt my light ignite as he got closer, felt myself tensing, wondering almost if he intended to hit me, when his hands reached out, grabbing a hold of my clothes and yanking me towards him. Then he held me by the front of my vest, nearly off the floor.
For a few seconds, he just stood there, only a few inches from me, staring down at my face, breathing hard, that heat expanding off his light.
“Why are you letting him do this to you?” he growled.
I stared at him. “What makes you think he is?”
Even so, something in my chest clenched at his words. It felt like being stabbed, like he’d just taken his fist and crushed some part of my light.
My eyes left his.
Staring down at the carpet without seeing it, I shook my head, turning over his words. Pulling on them…on him…even as I forced it all away. I knew tears were running down my face but I no longer cared. I didn’t even try to free my arms so I could wipe my face.
“Because he was right,” I told him. “He was right, Jem. There was no other way.”
Emotion filled my light as my own words sank in, as I remembered what this was really about. For both of us, maybe. For me, at least.
When he didn’t answer, I shook my head, clicking under my breath.
My gaze shifted up, seemingly on its own. Seeing the emotion on his face, frustration writhed back through my light, blurring my vision, blurring the outline of his features.
“Is that it?” I said coldly. “Is that all you wanted to say to me, brother?”
His mouth twisted into another frown.
For a long moment, we only stood there.
I was about to speak again, to try and get him to answer, when he shocked me, gripping me harder in his hands. In one seamless move, he half-lifted me for real, shifting on his heel right before he shoved me backwards. Rather than letting me go, he moved with me.
Before I could catch my breath he’d closed the gap between us and the wall, still gripping the vest I wore in his hands.
Fear slid through my light, a near panic, even as my back ran into the wall, making me gasp. I felt my light click on, the telekinesis ignite, flaring up through my structures––
Then his mouth was on mine, and my brain stopped working altogether.
He kissed me…hard.
Harder than he had inside that military compound under Colorado Springs.
Harder than Revik usually did.
Pressing me into the wall, he slammed his body up against mine a second time, his hands wrapped around my rear as he maneuvered his legs between mine. Letting out a gasp as he came up for air, he groaned, ripping open the vest I wore, gripping the front of my shirt in his hands, yanking it out from my belt as he kissed me again, his hand sliding between my legs before he gasped, pulling both hands off me as he proceeded to undress me for real.
His hands were rough but skilled.
I just stood there, letting him do it, realizing I’d already made up my mind to let this happen.
I’d made up my mind when I let him walk through that door.
He had me naked before my mind had decided how I felt about that, either. Once he pulled the last pant leg off my bare foot, he rose smoothly to his feet, catching hold of my shoulders and turning my body roughly so that I faced the wall. His feet kicked my legs apart, one by one…again, so fast and precise that all I could do was gasp, gripping the wall as I did what he wanted.
I think I expected him to fuck me then.
I held the wall, palms flat, my light snaking out in patterns I could barely control. I closed my eyes, bracing myself for it almost, fighting to hold onto my shield. It had finally clicked in that I was really doing this, that I was really going to let this happen…
So of course I thought about Revik.
I couldn’t think about him though, not now.
Whatever I did to try and shield would be worthless if I thought about him right now. I was still struggling, trying to fight him out of my light when Dalejem wrapped an arm around my waist. Fully clothed, he pressed up against me, leaning his mouth to my ear.
“This shield…it is for him?”
I fought to breathe, to think.
Finally, I nodded.
I felt Dalejem’s mind turn over my answer.
He kissed my neck, putting light into his tongue and lips. I melted into him gradually when he didn’t stop. Feeling the shift in my body and aleimi, he slowed, deepening his kisses, penetrating more of my skin with his light, working his way up to my jaw, groaning softly against my skin when I tilted my head back, offering him my throat. His hands massaged my breasts by the time he raised his head. He used his light there, too, shooting heat through my body like an electric shock, making it hard for me to think.
“I will help you with it, then,” he told me softly.
By then, I wasn’t sure what he was even talking about.
I was still struggling to breathe, to regain my balance when he lowered his weight behind me, startling me again. I glanced back over my shoulder, my palms still on the wall. I found him kneeling behind me, his hands caressing my thighs. I felt a wave of vulnerability go over me, more than I could deal with briefly. Somehow, him fucking me right then––hard, possibly angry sex––I could have dealt with. But not this. Not with me spread-eagled against the wall like this, completely naked with him clothed.
Feeling my light sparking as I fought with the shield, I realized he was looking at me.
I met his gaze, flushing.
He frowned slightly, looking me over.
Then he rose smoothly to his feet, catching hold of my hand, gripping it firmly in his. He led me over to the bed. With both of us still standing at the foot of it, he released me. He unbuckled his belt, still gauging my face and light narrowly with those forest green eyes.
“I think you’re going to put your mouth on me first,” he said.
Leaning closer, he kissed my cheek, heating my chest with his light. “Can you do that for me, sister?”
His voice was strangely calm, soothing almost, even as his words brought another hard flush of heat to my skin. He watched me blush all over, his eyes calm too, holding nothing like what I’d felt off his body or light when he’d started this.
When he continued to wait for my answer, I nodded, unable to hide my relief, although I still didn’t fully understand what caused it.
Maybe feeling more in control? Maybe familiarity?
Ditrini at least got me very familiar with doing this to strangers.
I felt a whisper of question off Dalejem’s light. Then he seemed to let it go. Cupping my face in his hand, he kissed my mouth, gently that time.
“You can tell me about that later,” he said.
Before I could answer, he let go of me again, reaching for his shoes one by one and tugging them off. He dropped them on the floor along with his socks, then finished with his belt. I just stood there, watching as he pulled his pants and briefs off. He did it easily, matter-of-fact, discarding them on the floor without taking his eyes off me. I didn’t move when he tugged the shirt over his head, either, watching him yank it off and toss it down with the rest.
Once he was as naked as me, he walked over and sat on the edge of the bed.
Then I was looking at him, unable to help myself.
He was muscular. I’d known that. It was pretty obvious, even in clothes––even in heavy combat gear––but it was different to see his body naked. His body type reminded me more of Balidor than Revik, even though he was closer to Revik in height. His shoulders were broad, a boxer’s shoulders. He had ripped muscles on his stomach and legs that made me think of underwear models. He was dark, almost olive-skinned. He had more hair than Revik and also more tattoos, some of them on his shoulders and chest. He also had designs on both of his calves and what looked like a tiger wrapped around one thigh.
He was big. In the guy department, I mean.
Meaning his cock, just to be crystal clear.
He was pretty close to Revik’s size there, too.
“Is it all right?” he said.
His voice held a tinge of amusement.
Glancing up at his face, I realized he was watching me look at him, his palms now resting on the bed’s quilted comforter.
His green eyes were narrower again, assessing my face critically.
“Do you still want to do this?” he said politely.
Feeling pain ripple my light, I fought to understand if I did. I mean, yeah, I needed sex. I was turned on. I had to do this with someone…eventually.
Revik and I talked about this.
But I couldn’t think about that, either. Definitely not now.
Instead I took a breath, nodding. “Yeah.”
“Then come here,” he said.
His voice was coaxing that time.
Hesitating only a heart beat or two, I walked over to him. That time, it was me who knelt in front of him. Hesitating only a few seconds more, I leaned over his lap, sliding one hand tentatively around his hip as I stroked him briefly with the other, more to get a sense of his size and shape in a real sense, as well as his light. I felt his breathing grow heavier as I touched him, right before his fingers coiled into my hair. He didn’t pull me towards him, but I felt the pull in his light, subdued, but clear.
That pull grew a lot more intense as I continued to touch him.
“Fuck,” he said after I’d been caressing him for another moment, exploring him with my hands and light. “Fuck…kiss me. Kiss my cock…”
When I first slid my lips over him, he let out a low groan.
His fingers tightened when I continued. They tightened more when I started to experiment with his light. He opened to me at once, startling me, making it hard to think straight…and confusing me on my own light briefly.
He didn’t push me to open my light though, which was kind of a relief. I kept that behind a wall, too, falling into a space similar to what I remembered from China. With his light wrapped into mine it wasn’t really the same though…and I found myself reacting to him even as I lost myself in his light and skin.
He asked me for things. He was matter-of-fact about that, too. Borderline blunt.
He also told me how he wanted me.
“Spread your knees…” he said, gruff, using his feet again to push them further apart where I knelt. Once I moved to accommodate him, more pain spiraled off his light. “Arch your back,” he said next, his eyes on my body. “Lower,” he said, half-groaning. “Lower, Bridge…”
When I did as he asked, I felt almost like I had against the wall.
Too open, lost under his hands and light, despite what I could feel I was doing to him with my own mouth and light. It seemed to be how he wanted me though; once that vulnerability flickered through my aleimi he let out a satisfied groan.
“Yes. Like that. I want you really fucking wet when I finish…”
He came not long after that.
I felt his light open more as he did.
He let out a longer cry, gripping my hair in both of his hands as he arched into my mouth. He came for what felt like a long time. Long enough that I got lost there again, reading him as he briefly let go of control.
He’d barely finished before he dragged me up to the bed.
He turned me over again with his hands, and before I could take a breath, he had his fingers in me, but not in my cunt.
“Is this okay?” he said, gruff. “You’re all right with either? Both?”
I lay there, confusion spilling over my light. I knew what he was asking. He wanted anal sex. And I was okay with it for the most part…but I hadn’t exactly expected to lead off with that. Not with someone I’d just blown, anyway.
“You don’t want to fuck?” I said, my voice confused. “…The other way, I mean?”
He let out a low laugh, slapping my rear with a heavy hand. He massaged me there, slowly. I admit, it sent a jolt through my body and light that worsened my pain exponentially.
“Just tell me if you’re all right with it,” he said, blunt.
“Yes,” I said, but frustration leaked into the word.
I was starting to think he was just in this for himself. Maybe he disliked me more than I’d realized…or resented me more than I’d realized. Or liked fucking guys more than I’d realized…or was doing this because of Revik more than I’d realized. Was he really going to be like the stereotype of those lame humans? Would he just use me to jerk off then roll over and fall asleep…maybe go look for a pizza in some other part of the compound?
He must have heard some part of that, because he chuckled.
“Do you have anything?” he said next, his voice blunt once more, matter-of-fact. When confusion rippled through my light, he caressed my rear, putting more light in his hand. “For this, Allie. Do you have anything?”
I fought to think. Lube. He had to mean lube, right? I started to turn over, intending to get off the bed to get it, but his hands gripped me harder, holding me in place.
“No,” he said. Clicking, he made his voice firm, more of a command. “Tell me. Or show me. And don’t fucking move while I get it.”
Feeling my light react to his tone as my face flushed hotter, I sent him a brief snapshot of where it was in the wooden wardrobe near the door.
The bed creaked as he got up.
I stayed where I was, fighting the charge that shifted through my light. Was this because of Dragon, too? Was he trying to ease me into the other? Or get me so damned frustrated I forgot about it? I could feel some kind of intention behind this, but I had no idea what it was.
“Then stop fucking thinking about it, sister,” he advised me from beside the wardrobe.
I jumped a little at his words, but didn’t answer.
When he came back, his hands were methodical, practiced. Still warm, but he didn’t hesitate, or really ease me into anything. He filled me up with cold gel that made
me gasp. Then I heard him rubbing more on himself, even as a coil of heavier pain left his light. I felt him looking at me in that, his light wrapping deeper into mine.
He positioned himself behind me then, massaging my back with a still-slick hand.
“Open for me, Allie,” he said, soft.
I panicked at his words. Then I realized he meant my body, not my light.
Forcing myself to exhale, to relax, I did as he asked, pushing against him when he flickered the request more insistently from his light.
Then he was inside me. He did that skillfully, too.
I’d known it was coming, but the sensation still caught me off guard. Worse, it lowered my defenses, briefly at least. I cried out, arching under him in spite of myself. He gripped me harder as I reacted, letting out a low groan when I fisted the bedspread in my hands.
“Gaos,” he murmured, pressing into me deeper. “Gaos, yes…it feels good to me too, Allie. It feels so fucking good…”
I didn’t answer, biting my lip as I faced away from him.
He fucked me that way for what felt like a long time. Long, slow, hard…he was really good at it. Too good. Each long thrust made me groan, melting under him. I fought not to think about Revik being on the other end of this, fought to keep my light closed, to keep us shielded even as my pain continued to worsen when he wouldn’t let me come. Which yeah, might have been fine…sort of…if he’d been doing it to make me feel better at the end. But Dalejem wouldn’t touch me anywhere either, apart from where he gripped my hips. He wouldn’t let me touch myself. He didn’t seem interested in learning my body at all.
He also sent me his pain and pleasure in dense pulses that had me writhing under him, sweating, groaning, then eventually whimpering and begging him.
When he came that time, he let out a heavier cry.
He stayed deep as he spasmed against me, holding my hips in muscular hands. My teeth gritted as I felt him let go, feeling that denser pain seethe through his light.
For those few seconds, his desire grew intense enough that I groaned aloud, fighting him.
Dragon: Allie's War Book Nine Page 42
