by Ann, Natalie
For once he was at a loss on how to proceed. This was all new territory for him, everything from the first moment on. The dynamics were all different than what he was used to. Lighthearted and fun just flew out the window. Not that he couldn’t or didn’t want that with her, but there was an edge to it now, one that was all-consuming and making him hold back when he hadn’t before.
He was used to saying what was on his mind and never caring. He never said anything harsh or hurtful, and never feared he’d upset a woman, but now he had a monstrous fear of rejection causing him to hold it all in.
He finally found the person he thought could understand him the best—the person who seemed to get him the most—and she works for me. So that was the first obstacle he’d had to overcome. He was pretty sure he did.
No, no doubt about it—they had overcome it; otherwise, how would they have ended up here? He wouldn’t let anything affect her job or her position with Harper’s. He’d never do that anyway, for anyone. They valued their employees. As long as they did their job and were good people, there was a place for them.
But this was different. She did a good job and was a great person. They were going to have to make sure that work didn’t cloud their relationship, or their relationship didn’t muddy up their work. He didn’t think the latter would happen. He was more worried about work messing things up, rather than their relationship affecting work.
He needed to figure it out. They needed to talk. They needed to know the next step. How to even take the next step, but that huge fear of rejection was overriding any reason he had in taking the first step.
So far it was all still a secret to the outside world, at least he thought it was.
It seemed those closest to him were seeing more than he would prefer. They were most likely guessing, nothing more than that.
He finished up with his shower and got dressed. They would find a way—they had to.
***
Brynn was making breakfast for Alec while the last twenty-four hours replayed in her mind.
So many things had been said and done last night and this morning, that her emotions were all over the place.
First was her comment on how Alec reminded her of her father. But he did…so much. Andy Palmer was a class act. He wasn’t the most sophisticated man, he wasn’t the most politically correct either, but he was the most dedicated and loving man she knew. She was so thankful to have had that example in her life.
Maybe that was why she’d had a hard time fully committing to someone before. She’d been in plenty of relationships, but no one ever made her feel like the man was good enough. They never measured up to her father in her eyes. She actually never even realized she’d been comparing them to him until she met Alec.
Then she knew. Wow, there was someone out there that could be just like her dad. Someone who always did the right thing, not because he had to, but because he knew it was the thing to do. Someone who always put others first, someone who always thought of others before he even gave himself any consideration.
She’d seen that time and again with Alec at work. Then with her too.
The second memory of the night came from his control comment. He had no clue why that caused her to frown. She didn’t think he would understand, or maybe he would. Either way, she had never talked about it before with anyone.
She liked to be in control. Not because she had to be, but because she needed to be.
She always liked things neat and organized. It was just the way she was—a by-product of her mother, really. But after her mother’s death, she became more controlled.
It took her years to figure out why, but she finally realized that she needed to control everything in her life that she could, because so many things were out of her control, like her mother’s death. The wrong place at the wrong time. In a minute her world was crushed, along with her brother’s and father’s.
She’d had no control over that, but she could control how she grieved. How she moved on with her life, how she lived her life…so she did.
That control helped her focus on her career and helped her move forward and up the ladder of her job. It was just too bad that something beyond her control took it all away once again. It didn’t have to. She thought she could handle it. In the end, it didn’t matter.
But that strong sense of control forced her to take the step and move toward the future again.
And finally, this morning, Alec’s statement about her fairy tattoo. The look in his eyes, the sound of his voice, and the way he leaned into her palm. Exposed. He all but opened his chest up and exposed every part of himself to her. She realized that now. She just needed to figure out what to do with it.
She knew what she wanted to do with it, and she thought she knew what he wanted too, but how did they get there? It still seemed so messy right now. Where was the next step? What was the next step? For someone who liked to have a handle on things, she was clueless right now.
The only thing she was sure of was that her mother somehow had a part in this all along. It was a crazy thought, but could it be possible?
The tattoo was a representation of her mother. Alec seemed fascinated by it, so maybe it was a sign that her mother was telling her, “Don’t let this go. Grab ahold with everything you’ve got.” No one else ever seemed to bother or comment on her tattoo.
Turning with a start, she watched him walk forward. Reaching out, he pulled her close and held her tight, almost like he was afraid to let go. “Good morning.”
She chuckled. “I thought you wished me good morning already.”
“I did, but I wanted to again.”
And she listened to her mother’s voice in her head, like she always did. She held on tight, never wanting to let go.
Closer
“Enjoy your night with Brynn?” Alec turned at Phil’s voice, just shy of noon on Sunday. He’d spent Friday and Saturday night with Brynn, then left her place less than an hour ago and went home to change before making his way to his parents’ for Sunday dinner.
“Excuse me?”
“Brynn. Did you enjoy your night with her?” Phil asked again, laughing.
Alec looked behind his brother at his parents’ house, but didn’t see anyone. The two of them were standing on the dock looking out over the water. “Why would you ask that?”
“Really? You thought I wouldn’t know?”
Shifting uncomfortably, Alec replied, “That is taking the twin-bond thing too far. How come I’ve never known when you’ve spent the night with a woman? It doesn’t seem fair, if you ask me.”
Phil laughed again, louder this time. “Nothing as complicated as that, I assure you. And keep your mind out of my bedroom.” Alec snorted, but Phil continued on. “I stopped by your house last night to grab a saw blade after a late dinner with Sophia. You weren’t home and we had her car, so I didn’t have my key to your house. I went back first thing this morning and you still weren’t home. It wasn’t hard to piece it together.”
Alec sighed and looked out over the water again. Maybe this was the time to bring it up. Phil was the right person—the only person—that Alec felt comfortable talking about this with right now. “Do you have a problem with it?”
“Not at all. I guess I’m wondering more about what you’re waiting for?”
Alec looked over at his twin quickly. “What does that mean?”
“Why isn’t she here with you right now for dinner?”
“You’re joking, right? Phil, I’m sure you can figure out it’s not been very long. It’s a little early for dinner at Mom’s, don’t you think?” He wasn’t sure why he wasn’t feeling any panic at that suggestion. In the past, he would have with any other woman he’d known for the same amount of time.
“No. Not really,” Phil replied with a shrug. “Let me ask you something. You asked me once if I knew Sophia was the one, and I told you I wasn’t sure. You argued and said I knew all along but was afraid to say it. That I knew because she was the one I would go all t
he way with. All the way over the top and back. Give her everything, do everything for her, and want her to do the same for me.”
Alec remembered that conversation. He wasn’t sure he remembered those words exactly. Phil always had a way with words, even though he didn’t speak as often. But when he did, you listened, and he was right. “Yeah, so?”
Phil dropped his arm over Alec’s shoulder. “So you’ve gone all the way over, but you’re afraid right now, aren’t you?”
Yep, Phil was always right. “I don’t know the next step.”
“Sure you do.”
“No, I don’t. Where do we go from here?”
“Have you talked to her about it?”
“No.” Alec thought they were going to yesterday, but they never did. After he hugged her in the kitchen and she held him so tight, he just couldn’t push back the fear of voicing what was in his head. He thought maybe she would have, but she didn’t either.
Instead they talked about plans for finishing the basement. He told her to go ahead and start drawing up the layout with Phil and they would work on it together when he was done with his flip.
Her excitement over them doing it together was so contagious that he had no thoughts other than to fall into the excitement with her. It was all she could talk about, her ideas and her thoughts. He was intrigued by her suggestions and that was all they focused on until they went to bed. Then there were other ideas and thoughts in both of their heads.
“Why not?”
“It hasn’t come up?”
“Bring it up.”
“Don’t push me, Phil.”
“Why? You’ve pushed me plenty over the years.”
“True.”
Phil dropped his arm from Alec’s shoulder and said, “Bring her to Mac’s next weekend.”
“What?”
Phil repeated, “Bring her to Mac’s. It’s Zoe’s birthday, then the party afterward. We’ll all be there. Brynn knows almost everyone as it is. Bring her over for that and start that way. It’s not like you need to announce it to anyone at work.” Alec shifted uncomfortably. “So that’s it. You think you do?”
“No. I guess I just don’t want anyone to think poorly of her. You know, sleeping with the boss.”
“They won’t, and those that do will have to answer to us. Alec, you don’t owe anyone any explanations, and you don’t need to announce anything there either. Trust me, those closest to you at work already suspect it.”
“Seriously?” Alec asked, concerned.
“Yeah, but don’t worry, no one has said anything negative about it. They really haven’t. Listen to me, start with Mac’s next week, play it out and go from there.”
***
“So, I finally get to see your new place,” Carly said. “The coast is clear now. I can’t believe you pushed me aside for a man, Brynn.”
Brynn laughed and grabbed a couple of bottles of water and walked out to the back deck to sit in the sun. She was thrilled when Carly texted her this morning and asked if she could come see her place. But Brynn had to tell her to wait until Alec left. “Yeah well, I’m sure Alec wouldn’t have minded, and he didn’t stay that long. He had to go to his mother’s for dinner earlier today. Then I guess he was going to visit Kaitlin and the babies at the hospital.”
“Tell me how it was,” Carly said, excitement showing on her face.
“We aren’t in college anymore. I’m not telling you about my sex life.”
“Now who is being immature?” Carly said, laughing at Brynn’s scowl. “I don’t want details on sex. Please, I want my own sex life, not details on yours. How was your time with him this weekend?”
“Wonderful. Perfect. Amazing,” Brynn said, her eyes shining brightly.
“I told you I didn’t want details on the sex,” Carly said, snorting.
Brynn snickered. “Well, the sex was better than those words. Anyway, we just click. I don’t know how or why, but we do.” She leaned forward and almost whispered, “He is fascinated with my tattoo.”
“Really? How so?”
“I can’t explain it. This sounds so stupid, but I need to say it out loud. I need to say it to someone.”
“What? I’m not sure I like the look on your face right now. You look scared.”
“I’m not scared. Maybe a little freaked out, but not scared.”
“He didn’t hurt you, did he?” Carly asked, enraged. “I’ll kill him myself if he did.”
Brynn laughed, she couldn’t help it. Carly was several inches shorter than her and skinny as a beanpole. She blended right in with the elementary school kids she taught. “No, he didn’t hurt me. I told him he reminds me of my father.”
“You did what?”
“You heard me, and he didn’t get freaked out by it. You can pop your eyes back in your head because he thought it was sweet. I think he felt honored by it. I never realized I always say ‘my father,’ I never say his name. Alec asked me his name, then he asked me about my mom. I had already told him about the reason for my tattoo.”
“Wow. You hardly tell anyone why you got that tattoo. I’m surprised you told him.”
“It didn’t even cross my mind to not tell him. Either way, I need to ask you something.” She paused and looked around the yard to see if anyone was there. Not that there would be, they were the only people in the development. “Do you think I’m crazy?”
“I’ve always thought you were a little touched, not full-blown crazy, but try me, maybe you really are. Why do you think so?”
Brynn laughed again. Carly always knew what to say. She had the best personality and the two of them had always hit it off. “I think my mother is trying to talk to me.”
Carly’s eyes watered slightly, and Brynn’s followed. Carly had been by Brynn’s side the entire time she grieved, so she knew what Brynn went through. “I don’t think you are crazy when it comes to your mother. I’ve always thought your mother was with you all along, you know that, but what do you think she is saying?”
“I think she is telling me Alec might be the one, and to not push him away.”
“Do you want to push him away?”
“I don’t know and that’s the problem. Some days I want to have this fun and carefree thing we have going, and other times I want to pull him closer, hold him closer, and not let go, but I don’t want to scare the crap out of him either. Hell, I’m scaring myself just talking about this. But Carly,” she said, hedging, “he doesn’t know about the past. Would he think differently about me if he did? I don’t think I could bear if he looked at me differently if he knew.”
“I think you are worrying over nothing, Brynn. And if he did know what happened and looked at you differently, then you are better off without him.”
Not Light
“Are you sure it’s okay if I go tomorrow?” Brynn asked Alec on Saturday morning. They had decided to spend the day on the lake, but they both had some work to catch up on. It had been a crazy week and Brynn spent more time out of the office than in it. Not to mention, Alec almost never seemed to be in the office.
Alec had left her house after breakfast a few hours ago and said he would be back around noon. She decided to run into the office and get a few things done. Before she left, she threw her bikini on, then slipped a sundress over it. She packed a beach towel and sunscreen, deciding she would meet Alec at his house rather than making him drive back into town.
She’d been typing away when Alec showed up at the office asking her what she was doing there. Then he sat down and started to get some paperwork done himself. He was just shutting down his computer when she asked him the question.
“Yes, I’m sure,” he replied.
When he asked her earlier in the week to go with him to Mac’s house for a party, she said yes without thought. Then she found out it was for Mac’s daughter’s birthday and felt uncomfortable, but she hadn’t said a word about it again until now, after she had been agonizing over it for days. “They won’t think it’s strange you’re bringi
ng a date to a kid’s birthday party?”
“Hardly. We are all like family, and this will give you a chance to meet Mac, Beth and Cori. You met Jack at the hospital, and you know the rest of the group. It’ll be fun. Plus Kaitlin will be there with the twins. Besides, it’s not really a party for Zoe; her party is earlier. Mac decided to have an end of the summer party afterward for the rest of us.”
Brynn nodded, then said, “Kaitlin feels up for it? The babies were just released from the hospital a few days ago.”
“Yes. She’ll be fine. Trust me, she won’t be handling the babies for more than two minutes with that group of people there. Plus, remember? Mac is their pediatrician, no worries.”
If he said so. She pushed away from her desk and walked closer to him. “All done now?” she asked after he leaned back in his chair. “I can’t wait to get out on the water.”
He reached for her quickly, shifted, and sat her butt on the edge of his desk. “In a minute. I’ve got something else I need to do first.” Then he stood up and placed his hands on her thighs, sliding the dress up, spreading her legs and stepping between them.
She edged forward and wrapped her arms around his neck, sending him a sexy grin and saying, “What are you waiting for?”
After that, he didn’t wait, only lowered his mouth to hers and kissed her, long and deep. Next thing she knew, he was lifting her up and pushing the bottom of her dress out from under her hips. Before she had a chance to ask what he was doing, the bottom of her bikini was off and on the floor, then the front of his shorts were open.
Reaching in his back pocket, he pulled out his wallet, then a condom. She snatched it out of his hand and rolled it on him, quick and efficient. Seconds later he entered her swiftly. A moan escaped her lips, and her head fell back on her shoulders.
Curling his fingers around her hips, he pulled her closer to him until she was forced to wrap her legs around his back and hold on tight.
It was hurried and urgent. No thoughts whatsoever crossed her mind that they were doing this in their office, on his desk. She was completely consumed with the touch, the feel, and the smell of him—all of her senses were being assaulted. Her hands fisted in his hair while he did his magic.
